Simplify

The end of the year generally makes me reflect on the past year and this one is no different. This year has brought a lot of change for my family and I find myself assessing how that change has affected each of us.

First of all, let’s talk about “Come Follow Me.” A year ago, I was hopeful that it would be a good thing for my family. As we finish up our first year, I can say without a doubt that it has been good for us. We’ve had to change our approach half a dozen times throughout the year, but that’s ok. Life is all about learning and growing and discovering what works for us and that is exactly what we have done. And I expect that we will continue to adjust our approach as the needs of our family change over time. My children are growing up and that necessitates changes in how we teach them. The fantastic thing is that they have taught me this year as well. Their own personal insights have added to the success of our study. Are we perfect? Not even close. Did we learn absolutely everything there was to learn? Of course not. But we did learn and as in all areas of life, we will continue to learn line upon line.

Nathan started at a new high school in September and it has most definitely been good for him. There is still all the teenage social drama that he hates, but he loves choir, looks forward to going there, trusts his teacher. He also loves ASL and has developed a good relationship with that teacher as well. In general, it is a much healthier and more positive environment for him, and I cannot express how grateful I am for that. For every person who contributes to his happiness and wellbeing, there will be blessings in heaven based on how often this mother has expressed thanks.

Matthew has successfully made the transition to middle school and he is thriving there. He is finding where he fits into the world and discovering what makes him happy. He is gaining confidence in himself and is learning how to keep track of all the different things he is balancing in his life. I’ve been praying that his special permit request will be approved, and he will be allowed to stay at the same school next year. He is doing so well that it would break my heart, and probably his, to have to change schools.

Malia is the one of us who has probably seen the least amount of change in her day to day routine. She is still at the same school, sees the same kids, has the same friends. I have, however, seen a lot of change in her as she begins to transition from little girl to big girl. In the past several months, she has really started taking her scripture reading to heart. During our family study, she asks questions and offers her opinions about what things mean. She has started reading on her own occasionally. She isn’t solid yet, but she’s still young and even for adults, finding a daily scripture study routine can be a challenge. I can see her faith growing and I’m so very proud. She is growing up in a world where she will need that faith to sustain her.

Daniel is the one who has seen the most change. I have watched him grow from a teen in high school to an independent young man who is willingly serving the Lord for two years. He has been in the mission field for twelve weeks now, and every time I read one of his emails, I am astounded by how much his testimony has grown. As a parent I’ve spent his whole life teaching him to be a self-sufficient, independent adult and I think he’s proved that he has, in fact, become just that. He still needs our support and counsel (and hopefully will always feel that he can turn to us), but he’s stepped out into the world in a big way and I could not be more pleased with his accomplishments.

Kevin has very recently accepted a new job that leads him away from the traditionally accepted career path of progression from technical computer guy to lower management to upper management. While it is somewhat of an unorthodox job switch in that way, it is (hopefully) going to give him an opportunity to do the kind of work that he really enjoys, and which will bring some greater job satisfaction his way. In some ways this was a hard decision for him to make and yet, I have high hopes that it will be good.

As for me, earlier this year I was contemplating the possibility of becoming a sister scriptorian. I wouldn’t exactly classify myself as such yet, but I can honestly say that I have learned a lot, my testimony has grown and most of the time, I am a follower of Christ rather than just a member of the church. My calling in the relief society presidency has stretched me. I have had to step outside my comfort zone, and I think it has been good for me. With more time commitments added to my schedule, I’ve had to learn to prioritize, put first things first, if you will. And while the number of projects I’ve been able to check off my to-do list has been shortened considerably this year, I believe I’ve been able to put my focus on the most important ones.

My calling has had an unexpected side effect as well. December is always busy and this year it was even more so for me because I was trying to get all my ministering interviews done before the end of the quarter. As a result, I had to let some things go. We didn’t get out every single Christmas decoration we own. We didn’t put every single ornament on the tree. And we didn’t put together forty or fifty little something or others for neighbor gifts. We live in a great neighborhood and I love my neighbors. There are so many families that have taught me and my children so many things. They have touched our lives in unquantifiable ways. But due to time constraints, neighbor gifts were one of the first things to drop by the wayside. And guess what? I actually loved it. Kev and I have talked about it and except for a few of the most near and dear whom I hold close to my heart, this is something we want to continue. Perhaps next year we’ll take what we would have spent on neighbor gifts and donate it to the Light the World vending machines instead. Christmas was also simpler. Meals were simplified with preparations made over several days in advance so when Christmas actually rolled around, all I had to do was turn on the oven. It was unbelievably easy. And again, I loved it. The simplifications to our traditional Christmas routine allowed me to slow down and enjoy the time with my family. It allowed me to put the focus on what was important. And it helped me focus on what really matters.

I’m not one of those people that picks a word to focus on each year, but it is something that I’ve done on occasion. I think next year will be one of those years and I think my word will be “simplify.” If I can simplify my life, let go of some of the unrealistically high expectations I hold for myself, stop overscheduling or adding unnecessary things that contribute to an overwhelming feeling of general business, I think I will be happier. It will allow me to focus on what really matters. I think it will help me become a better wife, a better mother, a better disciple of Christ. And these are the things that bring me joy. So simplifying will lead to a happier life. The scriptures say, “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass,” (Alma 37:6) and I believe this can be true in my own life. By simplifying, by letting the little things (like quality family time, consistent scripture study, taking time to be still and listen to the Spirit, etc.) become the big things, I believe great things can happen in my life and in the lives of my family. I’m not talking earth shattering things here, but the small changes that will lead us to happiness and bring us just a little bit closer to exaltation.

So that’s my focus for next year. Simplify. That doesn’t mean that I won’t still do a bunch of stuff, because doing crazy things like making Santa pancakes and Christmas tree waffles to share with my family makes me happy, but hopefully it means that I will be able to focus a bit more on what matters and more easily say no to the things that don’t. I’m probably going to need reminders. I’m probably going to overcomplicate things on occasion because I have a tendency to do that. But hopefully, I’ll be able to remember how easy it was to let go of the things that don’t really matter so I can focus on the things that do.

And hopefully, simplifying will bring joy to me and my family.

All is Calm

This year Christmas felt a bit calmer than usual. I’m not sure why other than the fact that my kids are getting older. Or maybe the fact that this month we have had few days, or even evenings, when we were all home at the same time. Or even that Jingle Jangle, our elf, left a note for Malia requesting we sleep a bit later to give Santa a bit longer to get all his work done. But whatever the reason, I’m happy about it.

Malia was super excited, of course, and had a bit of a maniacal grin on her face throughout the morning. She has been extremely into horses of late and Santa obviously knew that because he brought her a toy horse. It is quite large, and Jolly was the first official rider. Malia also got some Lego (horse themed ones, of course), a pair of real cowboy boots (which she is totally thrilled with) and in her stocking, she got a bunch of crazy socks and a sleep mask, something she has been wanting for some reason. Her horse is what kept her attention throughout the day and by this evening, Baby was having her turn riding the horse, equipped with her canteen since all good horse riders know that staying hydrated is key.

Matthew got a big Lego set of a classic 1960’s era Mustang and was really pleased with it. Unfortunately, when he got about a third of the way through building it he discovered that he was missing two full bags of Legos. Tomorrow we will get started on getting them replaced, but there was nothing we could do about it today. Luckily, Matthew was also the proud recipient of several trumpet books and a trumpet mute he has been wanting so he was able to spend some time playing his trumpet. In fact, the mute was from Santa and Matthew had his trumpet out and was experimenting with the mute before we even opened the rest of the presents. In addition, all the kids got some eyeballs in their stockings, which sounds weird, but is actually a family tradition/joke. You know, the weird stuff that gets said and then sticks.

As a teen, Nathan’s tastes have gotten more expensive, but he is also very reasonable with his wish list, so he was perfectly happy with the new Fitbit he got from Santa. And he knows that one of his experience gifts for the year will be his choir tour to Anaheim in a few months, so he was happy as a clam. In addition, he loves crazy socks and glad to find a stocking full of Dr. Seuss and Sesame Street themed footwear.

Kevin got a Lego Saturn V rocket, which is a set he has had his eye on. The thing definitely qualifies as big boy Lego and once it is built, it will be over three feet high.

As for me, Santa brought me a new iPad. My old one has gotten a lot slower and a lot more finicky, so I was super happy to get an update. It will make my time spent using Gospel Library a much more pleasant experience.

It was weird not to have Daniel here, but he did get to call. In fact, we were able to video chat using my new iPad. 😊 Based on the way his countenance looked, I think it was a bit tough for him to be away for Christmas. He was a trooper and shared positive stuff with us and all that, but as abnormal as it felt for us not to have him here, I suspect it was worse for him. We sent several packages a couple weeks ago though, so I know he at least had some of our traditional Christmas goodies and some packages to open today. Several weeks ago, he mentioned that he is taking all his spices with him when he transfers because they are expensive, so I thought he might appreciate getting some free of charge. I picked up a bunch of the ones we use the most and Matthew and Malia wrapped each little container separately. We also sent him a calendar with images of Christ painted by Yongsung Kim which Daniel said he loved and a few other small things. Kevin’s parents arrived in time to chat with Daniel for a bit and I think that was good as well.

It has been a busy month and honestly, being able to just stay home with my family today was a huge relief and a huge blessing. It was a blissful moment of calm. It gave me a chance to take a breath, to remember my Savior, and to find gratitude in my heart for the many tender mercies I see in my life each and every day. I truly am blessed.

I’ll end with my favorite quote from the day. Apparently, Daniel has been unable to find seasoned pepper where he is. It is a flavoring we use a lot, so I happened to include some in his spice assortment. He had been unable to ascertain what all those little gift-wrapped cylinders were, and the seasoned pepper just happened to be the first one that he opened. When he messaged me to let me know what time he would call, his first comment was, “I have never been so excited to see seasoned pepper in my life.” It made me laugh! Score one point for this missionary mama!

Tradition

In my family, Christmas Eve has always included the kiddos acting out the nativity story while my dad reads from the Bible. It’s something I remember doing when I was growing up. I was usually the angel and had the correct words memorized and everything. As all the grandkids have gotten older, they have outgrown this particular tradition and in the past couple of years, we have questioned whether or not to have it continue. We have opted to keep it going for now because while most of the grandkids no longer have any interest, Malia and Kate are still emotionally invested in the whole exercise. This year we even had some older kid participation and I’m appreciative of their willingness to do so. It allowed Malia and Kate to have an enjoyable time. It was Malia’s turn to be Mary and Matthew acted as Joseph. Kate was the angel and Ella and Evelyn (my niece Sage’s oldest daughter) were shepherds. Sabrina and Drew were wise men and after a quick costume change, Ella rounded out their trio. It was a mostly reverent rendition of the nativity and one of those things that helps us all remember the real reason for the celebration.

Christmas Cuisine-Part V

This morning we borrowed Santa's visage to make our holiday inspired breakfast. Matthew made a pancake as well, opting for raspberries for all the features since he can’t eat whipped cream, but he started consuming it before I could take a picture.

And yes, whipped cream had a starring role in our breakfast again!

Christmas Cuisine-Part IV

Today we rocked the flavors of Christmas rather than images related to Christmas. Breakfast was gingerbread waffles. Yum! Although Malia didn’t really like them, Nathan thought they were weird but good and Matthew thought they were ok. Kevin and I also liked them, especially with whipped cream! (As you can clearly see, Malia was also all about the whipped cream.) I don’t think these waffles will become a regular participant in our waffle rotation, but I do see them becoming a once a year delight. 😊

A Seasonal Masterpiece

It has been a couple of years since we’ve made the trek downtown to see the lights on Temple Square. With extensive renovations of both the Salt Lake Temple and Temple Square beginning next month, we figured we’d better make the trip this year. Nathan had the opportunity to sing in the assembly hall last night, so it was the perfect time to go. We rode the train (Again. Malia got to ride twice in less than a week!) and braved the crowds to walk around a bit. Christmas on Temple Square really is an experience like no other. I know it is one of those things we take for granted around here, but it truly is spectacular.

I think this was one of the performances that Nathan was most excited for. Having the opportunity to sing on Temple Square is pretty cool, after all! We were able to warm up a bit (though just a bit due to the continually opening doors) while we listened to the choirs sing. It was a lovely way to spend a cold December night. I’m a music lover and Christmas music is high on my list of all-time favorite music topics, so being able to spend an hour listening to a variety of songs was fantastic.

I’m not sure what Temple Square will look like during the years of renovations, but I’m grateful I had an opportunity to share the lights and music with my family this year before it becomes a big construction zone. And I’m excited to see how it will all look once the renovations are over. If tradition is any indication, it will be magnificent.

Christmas Cuisine-Part III

Last year I created a fantastic garlic bread Christmas star. I thought I’d try something a bit different this year and opted for a simpler, and much less impressive, pull apart Christmas tree. It was tasty, but in terms of wow factor, the Christmas star is still the winner.

Maybe next year I’ll do the star again so I can feel like a Christmas cuisine rock star. 😉

Whoever Invented Glitter Should Be Shot

In my opinion, “glitter” should qualify as a four-letter word. I mean, glitter is like the plague of the craft world. Once it infiltrates your home, you can never get rid of it. It creeps into every space, systematically spreading until it has covered every nook and cranny. And once it gets in, you can never get it out. Vacuums, lint brushes, brooms, nothing works! What’s worse, any attempts to clean it up just result in a wider area of contamination. And don’t even get me started on all those glittery dresses you can buy at Costco at Christmas and Easter that leave all the pews (and then suits, dresses, skirts, etc.) in the chapel glitter covered. Seriously, the stuff is pure evil in spite of its innocent glistening appearance.

Why this glitter tirade, you may ask? Because it’s dance recital time which means tons of glittery tutus. Malia’s tutu never even comes out of the bag it was shipped in until we’re standing backstage on recital night. As a result, it always looks just a little crunched up, but I feel like that’s a perfectly acceptable trade-off for not letting glitter into my house. And Malia doesn’t mind so I figure it’s all good. 😊

Malia is still doing both tap and ballet and although there are days when she doesn’t want to go to dance lessons, she says she still enjoys it. A few months ago, she asked me how old you need to be to get pointe shoes, so maybe anticipation for our excursion to the Nutcracker on Saturday has given her just a little motivation. Anyway, she enjoyed her performance. And it only took me ten or fifteen minutes to get all the glitter off my hands and shoes…

Christmas Cuisine-Part II

A perfectly acceptable reason for eating sprinkles for breakfast.

This is what the boys miss out on because they have to go to school. 😁

A Break in the Performance Schedule

In the midst of a busy Madrigal Christmas season, Nathan went to Winter Waltz last night. His group was a bunch of madrigals and they had a performance yesterday morning, so the day date portion was an afternoon spent making gingerbread houses. In terms of total time dedicated to the day date, Nathan felt like it was much more reasonable. He’s not a huge fan of the dance requiring an entire day. It didn’t occur to the girls that winter days are short and darkness falls super early, so it ended up being too dark for them to do their pictures at the planned location. Instead, they zipped over to Hobby Lobby and took advantage of a season display for their pics. Despite being crazy tired due to their performance schedule, Nathan had an enjoyable time.

"We are in a position, as musicians, to touch the souls of those who listen."--President Spencer W. Kimball

December is a busy time for everyone, and Nathan’s madrigal group is no exception. In addition to the normal Christmas concert that all school performing arts classes hold, they did performances for elementary schools, hospitals, care centers, sacrament meetings, and even a women and children’s shelter. While it has been somewhat tiring for Nathan (perform several times a day and then try to get homework done without falling asleep) he has really enjoyed it thus far. He likes the elementary school performances the best because the kids are generally so enthusiastic and so glad for the music that is shared.

Nathan also got to sing in the church office building and later this week he will sing in the assembly hall on Temple Square, so he’s been pretty excited for some of the performances.

Today the madrigals sang for our ward’s sacrament meeting. They sang multiple songs and gave a few short talks. The Spirit they brought into the meeting was amazing. I may or may not have been just a little weepy for most of the meeting. I was definitely not gushing tears or anything, but crying is what I do when I feel the Spirit. I’ve had a number of ward members comment about what an amazing job the kids did, but my most cherished comment is from a young mother of three boys (the oldest of whom is eleven). She missed the meeting because of a family event, but the meeting was all her 11-year-old could talk about all day. He told her the Spirit in the meeting was so strong and was just gushing about how wonderful it had been. She was so grateful that he had been given an opportunity to feel the Spirit like that. In my opinion, those are the best kind of compliments, the ones that come because someone’s life was touched and changed just a little bit. Music can invite the Spirit in a way nothing else can. Those madrigal kids are making more of an impact than they may realize.

All told, they will have about thirty performances this month. When I was in madrigals, we had seventy and while it was a lot of fun, by the end of the month we were all mostly dead. Hopefully thirty will leave Nathan with a little energy left over to enjoy Christmas. 😉

A Thoughtful Elf

We have an elf at our house. He came to us when Daniel and Nathan were small and has been a welcome visitor every Christmas since then. Unlike the elves that visit other families, Jingle Jangle is never naughty, just clever and entertaining. This morning he left a little treat for Malia. He even left her the wrapper so we could make sure it was safe for her to eat. She thought it was a fantastic surprise!

A Second and a First

Malia happens to be the one of our children who had to wait the longest for her experience gift from last Christmas. The experience we gave her was a trip to see The Nutcracker ballet which meant that she had to wait nearly an entire year. After a long, long wait, today was the day. We chose to ride the train rather than drive down to avoid crazy holiday traffic and the need to find a parking space. Although it took a bit longer than driving, the time was a completely acceptable trade-off for the lack of stress I felt in getting downtown. Malia can only remember riding the train once before, so the ride was a novelty for her and an exciting experience on its own.

In my opinion, live performances of any kind are a whole different beast from those watched on t.v. Being there in person is an experience that cannot be replicated, hence my love of live performances. This was Malia’s first time experiencing live ballet, so it was fun to watch her excitement. Malia’s favorite part of the ballet was The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy. I asked her a number of times to see if it would change, but it didn’t. She enjoyed the whole thing, but the Sugarplum Fairy’s token dance was the one that stood out. We had a lovely time and came home with a tiny nutcracker of our very own to add to our Christmas tree. I’ve said it before and I know I’ll say it again, but I love all these experience gifts!

Christmas Cuisine-Part I

I love themed food. And at Christmas time, there are a million options. Many of them are sugary treats, but over the years I’ve found a variety of healthy themed foods as well. Today’s activity was making cucumber Christmas trees. Matthew made a few, but Malia was really the only one heavily invested in the activity. That happens a lot around here as the boys get older. Nevertheless, it was a fun addition to dinner!

Further Musings of a Mother

Let’s talk a little bit about being the mother of a missionary at Christmas time. Thanksgiving was much easier than I thought it would be. Daniel isn’t usually in the kitchen during the mass pie baking and he was able to call on Thanksgiving, so although he wasn’t with us to eat turkey, we talked, and I felt like we got to share the holiday with him. The Christmas season thus far has been alright. Just occasionally I’ll feel a pang knowing he won’t be home with us. Matthew’s concert this week was one of those moments. But overall, I’m ok. Being able to chat with him each week via Skype really softens the fact that he isn’t here.

Last night was the ward Christmas party and although I’m in the relief society presidency and was neck deep in getting everything ready to go, our bishop and our relief society president (who just happens to be married to our bishop) kept a little tidbit from me. We currently have seven young men and women from our ward serving full time missions. One more came home just last week, and there are two more leaving in the next six weeks. That’s a lot of missionaries from one ward. They are amazing youth. The theme for our ward party was “He is the Gift,” in reference to the Savior. What I didn’t know was that the bishop emailed each of the missionaries from our ward and asked them to send a video of their thoughts concerning Christ and how he is the gift of Christmas. I didn’t know about it until suddenly, Daniel was up on the screen bearing his testimony about the Savior and all he means not just to all of us, but to Daniel personally. And so of course, I cried right there in the middle of the ward party. Why, you might ask? First of all, I’m just a huge crybaby, which we all know. Second, Daniel’s Christmas packages had gone in the mail yesterday morning and that was a bit of a reality check for me. And third, I had an enormous, crazy mix of emotions going on. I’m so incredibly proud of him, of the choice he made to serve, how hard he works and the tremendous spiritual growth I’ve already seen in him. On the flip side, his birthday was last week, and we weren’t able to celebrate with him (although there was a package sent for the occasion). And this is the first year that I won’t have all my little crew here with me to celebrate Christmas. As a mother, there are many firsts-first words, first steps, first days of school, first dates…so many joyful milestones in the lives of my children and our family. This is another first for us, but I find it much more bittersweet than many of our other firsts. This is the first year that my first child will be away for Christmas. I know there will be other many more Christmases in the future that will find us without a child or two or more, and I have no way of knowing how I’ll react to those, but this first one is hurting my heart a little. I know Daniel is where he is supposed to be and I wouldn’t want him to be anywhere else, but my mama heart aches just a bit.

So overall, I feel like I’m handling things well. I find modern technology to be a great blessing. Technology, combined with the new rule that allows missionaries to call home weekly, keeps us connected across the miles. And Daniel will be able to call on Christmas, so we’ll be able to share the day with him that way. But every once in a while, I feel a pang. I guess it goes along with the job title of “mom.”

The Right Fit

Matthew is in the beginning band at school. Although he has only had his trumpet since his birthday in February, his skill level far surpasses the majority of the kids in beginning band. Although he could easily play with one of the higher-level bands, he has opted to stay where he is because band is the only class he has with one of his best friends from elementary school. At the end of the first term of school, Matthew as invited to play in the jazz band. Jazz band meets before school every day, so it does not affect his schedule at all. Matthew jumped at the opportunity and jazz band has very quickly become his happy place.

This evening was the Christmas concert and Matthew’s first concert with both beginning band and jazz band. He didn’t have much caring for the beginning band portion of the program, but he was fully invested in the jazz band portion. His face lit up and I could tell he was having a great time. And to be honest, the jazz band was good. Not just good for a first-year middle school jazz band, but good for any school jazz band. I was really impressed! It made me a little emotional (although no tears were shed, which is like a Christmas miracle!) because Daniel would have loved it and my heart hurt just a little bit because he was not there. But other than that, I really enjoyed the concert.

I’m so glad that Matthew is finding where he fits in. It can be a hard task, especially with two older brothers forging ahead. But Matthew is doing well. He’s developing a relationship with the high school band director (who leads the before school jazz band) and that is paving the way for future school years. It’s a good thing. I’m excited to see where to music takes him!

Sweet Success #2

My RS taster’s table yielded more than one delightful recipe. A neighbor and all-around family favorite (a wonderful lady and Nathan’s very first piano teacher) brought a recipe for bon bon cookies. Matthew is a fan of maraschino cherries, so I had a feeling he would like these particular confectionary delights since there is a cherry hidden in the middle of each one. Today we tested them out and all my kiddos loved them. Ours may not look quite as perfect as the ones I sampled at relief society, but Matthew and Malia had a wonderful time decorating them. And (of course) the giant eyeball made its appearance. I guess the shape of these cookies lends itself easily to eyeballs and since I happen to have an assortment of candy eyes on hand because I think they are fun, it was bound to happen. 😉 I suspect these cookies will be making many more appearances in the future!

Here Comes Santa Claus

We have held season tickets to the family series offered by Utah Symphony for a few years now. Except for Malia, the kids have kind of outgrown that particular set of performances, but Malia still enjoys it. In particular, she looks forward to the Christmas symphony each year because she gets to visit with Santa. This year she even opted to come late to the girls only craft day we had planned with my mom, sisters, and nieces. It made for a busy day for her, but she had a great time!

Sweet Success

I used to make caramels every year at Christmas time. It was one of my baking/confectionary traditions. And then Matthew came along. With my determination to never make him feel deprived at home (knowing he would be left out foodwise everywhere beyond our door), I gave up the caramels. I mean, how do you make buttery, creamy caramels for a kid that is allergic to milk? So they became a thing of the past. By the time Matthew did his food challenge for coconut and passed with flying colors, caramels were no longer on the brain. But with coconut milk added to his safe food list, a whole variety of banned foods became an option. Coconut milk can substitute for milk, whipped cream, sweetened condensed milk, etc and makes amazing ice cream. We ran with it and quickly discovered that I needed to keep a stock of coconut milk in the house.

A few weeks ago, my relief society had a Christmas taster’s table for our midweek activity. Everyone brought a sampling of their favorite Christmas treat to share and had a copy of the recipe on hand so we could take pictures of those we liked. One of my fellow RS presidency members shared her recipe for microwave caramels. They were delicious and the cooking method was much simpler than the labor-intensive traditional caramel making method. And instead of traditional heavy cream, it called for a can of sweetened condensed milk. And thus, an idea was born. It made me think about making Matthew friendly caramels because sweetened condensed coconut milk is extremely easy to make. And guess what? The dairy free caramels look and taste just like their allergenic counterparts. Matthew has already laid claim (with my complete support) to the majority of the batch. First taste of caramel=success.

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving was this past week and as usual, it was kind of a whirlwind of family gatherings. We made pie on Wednesday. As usual, it was a lot of pie, although there were definitely fewer pies than we’ve made in some years.  Unfortunately, Malia came home from school sick on Tuesday, so she was not able to join us at my folks’ house. By that evening she was feeling much better though, so we were able to make her delicious raspberry pie at home. I love when food looks just as good as it tastes!

Thursday was Thanksgiving dinner, again at my parents’ house, and yesterday was the annual Thanksgiving gathering with Kevin’s family. That event was a bit smaller this year as one nephew’s wife was busy bringing a new baby into the world. How blessed we are to have such wonderful families! I never stop being grateful for my family and Kevin’s and in particular, I’m go glad for the positive relationships I have with all of them. I know many people who don’t get along with their siblings and it makes me so grateful that as adults, my siblings and I actually like each other, enjoy spending time together, and make that time a priority in our lives.

My little crew and I have spent the entire month putting leaves on a gratitude tree and I have really enjoyed taking the time to stop and think about just how many wonderful things for which I’m grateful. We used some gratitude question cards to help us think outside the box and as such, I found myself pondering things like what smell and what color I’m grateful for. I think my favorite thing about this year’s focus on gratitude is that Malia wants to keep things going. Due to crazy schedules, we had a few days when we didn’t choose a card and add leaves to our tree, and she wants to finish working through the cards.

As we move into the Christmas season, I hope that my family and I can continue to focus of things that we are thankful for, because we have been greatly blessed. We live an abundant life in so many ways. We are blessed with a multitude of tender mercies each and every day. Not the least of these is the wonderful gift our Savior has given us. He is not just the reason for the season, but the reason for everything. As December begins, hopefully I can help my family focus on the most important part of the holiday just as we were able to do for Thanksgiving.

Safety

There are many common elements in prayers, ones that everyone seems to say without thinking about them. One of those is safety. It came up in a lesson in church once. Someone made a comment about how everyone always asks that we will get home from church safely and really, what was going to happen between the church and your house one block away? We are taught not to pray with rote, repetitious phrases, but I often find myself praying for the same blessings in heartfelt, sincere ways. Safety is one of those. In my mind, I disagreed with that comment made in church because many things can, and do, go wrong in just such a short distance. In my life, I have had multiple occasions where I needed, and was blessed with, safety in the course of my normal travels, whether short or long.

When I was freshman at BYU, I was living with my Aunt Geneal and Uncle Deverl in Orem. I was driving a little old Honda and it was a persnickety thing. When it decided to act up, it went home so my parents could get it fixed and I generally drove my mom’s station wagon on those weeks. The brakes on the station wagon were a lot touchier than those on the Honda, so try as I might, I always ended up jerking to a halt rather than slowing down nicely. I happened to be driving that station wagon one day in mid-winter when things were extremely icy, and the roads were treacherous. At that point in time, BYU owned twenty snowplows, but Provo city only owned three. That meant the campus roads were kept pretty snow free, but off campus was another story. One morning I was headed to campus. I was driving cautiously, knowing that I was on a stretch of road that was always particularly icy. As I traveled down the road, I felt the car begin to slide. I slowly depressed the breaks, but since the brakes were super touchy and there was no such thing as antilock brakes in those days, the brakes locked and suddenly I was sliding down the road. The car turned completely around as I slid and in the rearview mirror, I could see that I was headed directly for a UPS truck that was parked by the side of the road. I knew things were completely out of my control at that point, so I just sat there and waited for the impact. But the impact never came. One second I was sliding, and the next, the car had stopped. When I say stopped, I don’t mean it slowed down and gradually came to a stop. I mean that one second I was sliding and the next the car was at a complete standstill. There was literally only about a foot between me and that UPS truck. With my heart pounding, I realized that my morning prayer for safety had been answered. I have no doubt in my mind that without a little divine help, I would have hit that truck.

A few years later, the Honda was long gone, and I was driving a dependable Subaru wagon. Its only caveats were its tendency to overheat in very hot weather and the fact that it was an oil guzzler. Other than that, it was a great vehicle. One Sunday evening, I was headed back to my apartment after eating dinner at my parents’ house. Just as I was approaching the point of the mountain, my car lost power and I quickly steered to the shoulder where the car stopped and would not start again. It was just getting dark, I was wearing a black dress, and I was quite a long way from both the exit behind me and the one in front. So I sat in my car, said a prayer for safety, and then got out and started walking. I had only gone about a car’s length when another car pulled over. Now in general, that’s not a great situation to be in, right? It’s getting dark, a young girl is alone on the freeway, a stranger sees her and pulls over. Sounds like a great situation for a kidnapping or something, right? But despite all my knowledge about how not to become a victim of a heinous crime, I knew absolutely without a doubt that I could trust the people in that car and so I got in. The Spirit told me I could trust them, and I believed. Back in those days, cell phones were a rarity and the ones that did exist were the size, shape and weight of a brick. What are the odds that the couple who pulled over would have one? And that the man would be a BYU employee? And that despite their hard rule never to pick up strangers by the side of the road, when they saw me, they knew that they were supposed to stop and help me? When you factor in the Lord’s tender mercies, it all makes sense. They called my dad and he must have broken every speed limit between home and my location because he made it there in record time. After conversing with my helpers, my Dad felt safe letting them give me a ride back to Provo. Seriously. Once again, a prayer for safety had been answered.

About a year after we moved to our current home, I was still attending book club in my old ward. I had good friends there and didn’t really feel connected in our new ward yet, so I looked forward to that once a month gathering with my cronies. On one book club day, I spent the entire day feeling like I should not go to book club that night. I didn’t know why because I’d read the book and was really looking forward to going. It just didn’t seem to make sense. I argued with that feeling all day, rationalizing that I really wanted to go and just couldn’t see any reason not to. But by the time dinner rolled around, I finally conceded the battle and decided to stay home. By bedtime, I actually found myself feeling very glad I had not gone, although I still didn’t know why. The next day, I saw on the news that there had been one particular stretch of road that had become dangerously coated with black ice in spite of the clear weather and dry roads surrounding it. In between 9 p.m. and midnight, there were six car crashes in that one spot. On book club nights, I would drive that exact stretch of road between 9 and 10 p.m. Although I have no way of knowing exactly what would have happened had I gone to book club, I know for a fact that I would have been in a dangerous situation at exactly the wrong time. I can’t express how humbled and grateful I was that the Lord would keep me safe, even when I tried to deny the impression I received.

We had another one of those experiences yesterday. This time it was Nathan’s experience, but it supports my own experiences concerning praying for safety and having a prayer answered. Although he often lingers after school, yesterday Nathan was headed straight home so he would have time to get some homework done before his call time for the school musical. As he hit the foyer of the high school on his way to the parking lot, he suddenly had a thought that he needed to go back to the choir room. He said it was a strange thought because he knew he didn’t need to go there, but he listened and went anyway. Before he ever got back to the choir room, his phone rang, and a friend told him that his car had been hit in the school parking lot. The accident ended up damaging six cars, Nathan’s being one of four parked cars involved. Three cars were totaled and while our little Aveo ended up having only bumper damage, the impact was hard enough that it was moved completely out of its parking space. As Nathan looked at the timeline of the accident, his return to the choir room and the phone call, he realized that if he had not gone back, he would have been in the parking lot, walking to or getting into his car at the time it was hit. And had he been in the vicinity but not yet in the car, he most definitely would have been in harm’s way. He believes, and I concur, that he was the recipient of some divine inspiration.

With all these experiences resonating in my heart and mind, if I don’t pray for the safety of my family and myself every day, I spend the day weighed down by an impending sense of doom. And so I pray for the same thing every single day, but I do it with sincerity and the knowledge that the Lord has heard my prayers and blessed me and my family on multiple locations. And I have an immense sense of gratitude for those occasions when my prayers have been answered and I have seen his hand in my life. I know that those prayers will not change the outcome should the Lord deem otherwise, but I trust him. I know that he hears me, and I know that he answers. And I know that my repetitions are not vain, but sincere.

They Definitely Don’t Get This from Me

I am not a great artist. In fact, the only kind of drawings that I ever did well were perspective drawings of buildings and fences because that is all done with a ruler. I’m bad enough that when I was teaching elementary school, my students would make fun of me. It was all in jest because I was not offended at all, but still, it’s pretty sad. On the other hand, my children have a good deal of artistic skill. Nathan used to love to draw and took several semesters of art classes in middle school and really enjoyed them. Malia loves to draw and seems to have a good eye for detail. And Matthew has brought home several projects that I think are fantastic. In 5th grade he did a chalk drawing of some toucans that I like so much that we framed it and have it hanging on the wall.

This morning he happened to find a sketch that he did sometime during sixth grade. He is very proud of it, as well he should be. Unlike me, the kid can definitely draw more than a stick figure.

Daniel is really the only one of my kids who didn’t really enjoy drawing, but he can take a 3 foot square piece of paper and fold it into a dragon that has scales and individual claws, so I don’t think that he really needs a writing implement in his hand to create art. 😉

Second Sadie’s of the Season

One of the perks of going to a new school this year is that Nathan has friends, and lady acquaintances, in two high schools. That means double the school dances. Nathan’s second Sadie’s for this month was on Saturday and while it was at his previous school (which we are all glad he is no longer attending), it actually ended up being much more fun due to an extreme lack of drama. And besides, what’s not fun about getting to dress up as Sully from Monster’s Inc.? 😊

Healthy vs. Harmful

When I got up on Wednesday morning, the water coming out of the faucet smelled like bleach. With further investigation, Nathan and I discovered that not only did it smell wrong, it tasted funky as well. And the load of laundry that I started first thing that morning came out smelling like I’d washed them by dunking them in the community swimming pool for a few hours. It was not pleasant. A call to the water department let us know that we were not the only ones who had noticed a problem and that they were working to figure out what was going on. Later that afternoon, we were informed that a flow meter in the city water system had malfunctioned and was injecting chlorine into the system when no water was being added. This led to a higher than normal chlorine level in the water. It was technically still safe (below 4.0 is considered safe and testing in the city ranged from 0.7-3.1), but although my brain knew that, the taste and smell invoked a deep gut instinct that the water simply could not be good for us.

All this had made me think about how things that are good can become harmful and at what point they do so. Chlorine is added to the water to disinfect it and to prevent bacteria and such from contaminating the water supply, but obviously there is a point when it becomes a hazard. And there are many things in life that are the same way. Food, for instance, is a similar two-edged sword. Obviously too many cookies are not great for us, but even something wonderfully healthy, like broccoli, can become harmful if it is all you eat. Sleep is needful and getting enough leads to health and happiness, but too much can leave us feeling groggy and eat away at our productive hours. And the internet is an amazing tool which can easily become harmful in a myriad of ways.

So how do we find balance? I believe the answer to that lies in the gospel. As saints, we are counseled to exercise moderation in all things. Of course, when I say that the first thing that comes to mind is probably the word of wisdom, but the principle of moderation applies in all areas of our lives. In the October 2014 General Conference, Quentin L. Cooke talked about the choices we make every day:

"My concern is not only about the big tipping-point decisions but also the middle ground—the workaday world and seemingly ordinary decisions where we spend most of our time. In these
areas, we need to emphasize moderation, balance, and especially wisdom. It is important to rise above rationalizations and make the best choices.

A wonderful example of the need for moderation, balance, and wisdom is the use of the Internet. It can be used to do missionary outreach, to assist with priesthood responsibilities, to find precious ancestors for sacred temple ordinances, and much more. The potential for good is enormous. We also know that it can transmit much that is evil, including pornography, digital cruelty, and anonymous yakking. It can also perpetuate foolishness. As Brother Randall L. Ridd poignantly taught at the last general conference, speaking of the Internet, 'You can get caught up in endless loops of triviality that waste your time and degrade your potential.' "

So how do we find moderation, balance, and wisdom in the decisions we make? Elder Cook gives us several nuggets of wisdom to help us.

"I believe it is of particular importance in our day, when Satan is raging in the hearts of men in so many new and subtle ways, that our choices and decisions be made carefully, consistent with the goals and objectives by which we profess to live. We need unequivocal commitment to the commandments and strict adherence to sacred covenants."

So obedience to the commandments and keeping the covenants we have made. Seems pretty simple, right? Of course, we all know that it isn’t always quite as easy as that. For many years, one of my yardsticks has been “Good, Better, Best," a talk Dallin H. Oakes gave in October 2007. As I move through my days, I try to consider into which category an activity will fall. And when I have a project I really want to work on and I don’t get to it because something else was higher up on the to-do list, I frequently remind myself that I chose the better or best, not just the good. (Seriously, when I’m alone in the house I’ll find myself muttering out loud, “Good, better, best, right?”) And I rely on the Spirit to help me make those choices. I pray for guidance, pray that I will be able to spend my time wisely and when I have a day when I squander a bit too much time browsing Pinterest, I try to acknowledge my lack of moderation for that day and do better the next. For me, this approach leads to more days when I feel like my time was well spent, when I accomplished what was needful, when my family was well cared for and my spirit was nourished. It leads to greater joy and fulfillment in my day to day life.

Going back to the chlorine, my nose and my tongue were my warning signs that something was not right. I could have ignored it, but it may have led to some unpleasant consequences. As we try to find moderation in the many different aspects of our lives, the Spirit is our warning sign when we are headed into dangerous territory. We can choose to ignore it, but the eternal consequences can be devastating. Once the faulty flow meter was repaired, flushing the city water system and flushing our own pipes returned the chlorine levels to normal. When our personal balance is off, repentance plays the role of flushing the pipes to restore balance. So here’s the challenge-find your yardstick, heed the warning signs, and find the balance between what is healthy vs. what is harmful. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but with the Lord’s help, it is completely within our grasp.

Just Keep Breathing

As most adults well know, high school is the epitome of social drama. Nathan, who is viewed as a highly dateable boy (he’s tall, cute, talented and nice-seriously swoon inducing for the normal sixteen-year-old girl), is learning this, much to his dismay. Yesterday was Sadie’s at his high school and there was a good deal of drama involved in the occurrence of events. He came home shaking his head and wondering why high school has to be so completely soap opera worthy. Seriously, he is just completely flummoxed about the whole thing. He is very reasonable, well grounded and in many ways very mature for sixteen, so he just doesn’t get it. And all I can tell him is that teenage girls just think that way. Everything is either the best thing that has ever happened in their whole existence or is the end of the world as we know it. He’s just not lucky enough to be as oblivious as most teenage boys.

The day date portion of the event was his favorite part. Their dance group divided in two for the day date, so most of the drama occurred after they met back up. Nathan’s small group ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and then sat and talked for a couple hours. They went to a mini corn maze designed for little kids and had a blast. And when recombining with the remainder of the group led to the first infusion of drama (and the missing of the official date photos), they went to Harmons for their photoshoot. And honestly, I think they turned out great. I mean, Dory, Nemo, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Patrick Star posing in front of the seafood department is just funny!

The whole group did come back together for dinner, but all those bright smiling faces were hiding some powerful social drama and Nathan was glad when it was all over. For better or for worse, he has another Sadie’s event coming up this Saturday. He has been invited to the same dance at his old high school and he is already concerned about all the drama that event may hold.