Diverse Interests

Matthew had another concert this evening, this time the one to showcase the numbers the kids will play in all their festivals over the next month. Daniel was able to come down for the performance and Matthew was so, so pleased. Daniel has never heard Matthew play with his ensembles because Daniel lives just far enough away that it can be hard to arrange the travel time around his own school and work responsibilities. But his schedule was amenable tonight, and we are all so glad he was able to come.

This was a big night for Matthew because, after a year and a half of expressing his desires, he was given an opportunity to sing as well as play his trumpet. One of the numbers the jazz band played is “Children of Sanchez,” a jazz number that features an acoustic guitar and a lengthy vocal section at the beginning. They played the second part of the number at the Valentunes Gala a few weeks ago, but tonight was the first performance including the guitar/vocal solo at the beginning. Matthew did a great job. Seriously, he is a pretty talented kid, and his interests are very diverse which can make choosing hard. He loves jazz band but also wants to sing in the jazz choir next year. He also loves stage tech and the theater teacher would love to have him in the musical theater class as well. So, there are three teachers that would love to call Matthew their own and frankly, they will have to share. Matthew will pick and choose what he wants to do and since he has limited hours in the day and a mighty great need to graduate, he won’t be doing everything all the teachers want him to do. But hopefully he will be able to do his top three-jazz band, jazz choir (auditions are coming up next week), and stage tech. 

It has always been fun to watch our children learn and grow and this evening was another opportunity to see the results of all the time and effort Matthew has put in to improving his talents and skills. He finds joy in his music, and I hope that he will continue to do so for many years yet to come. Sometimes the stress of being overscheduled, the social drama that accompanies any high school anything, or the expectations or choices of teachers can take that joy away. (We definitely saw that happen with Nathan and it made me so, so sad.) But my own personal experiences are that the joy found in the music can overshadow all the negatives. I hope that Matthew’s experiences will also fall into that category.

She’s Got One Hot Potato!

Malia loves going to her midweek young women activities. She hates the rare times when she has to miss them. This week’s activity was combined with all the young women and young men and was planned by the teachers’ quorum. It was a repeat of a super fun activity they did last year-the potato derby. Think pinewood derby with potatoes instead of wood. And created on the spot instead of in advance. Malia has a tendency to think outside the box, or in this case, outside the potato. Rather than going the traditional route and actually attaching wheels, Malia carved her potato into a sphere and let physics do the rest of the work. Her creative thinking paid off because her potato, nicknamed “The Circle” by one of the members of the bishopric, won first place. She was super excited to show off her trophy when she got home. 😂

Essentially Outstanding

Today was another long day for Matthew. He started off the morning with yet another last-minute musical rehearsal. He did get to duck out early though, because he had a previous commitment involving the jazz band. Today was the Essentially Ellington Jazz Festival at BYU. It is an opportunity for high school jazz bands to perform, be judged, and have clinics with some experienced musicians. Matthew came home glowing because his section won the outstanding trumpet section award. And from what he was told, it wasn’t even a hard decision. As lead trumpet, Matthew is also the section leader, and he was so very pleased with the way everyone performed today. And Matthew had a great day himself. He took yesterday off so he wouldn’t be too fatigued today and everything about his playing today was spot on. His above the staff notes were all strong and he felt great afterwards. He got high compliments from the guy running their post-performance clinic and it was a good confirmation to Matthew that all his hard work has paid off. Matthew also said that he felt like their performance today included some of the best run-throughs they have ever had. So, it was a long day, but definitely a good one!

Life Lessons for Both of Us

Today is Matthew’s 17th birthday and we celebrated by taking him out to dinner. For most people this would not be a big deal, but for us the fact that we can actually treat him to a restaurant meal is huge! Having a place that can safely feed him does not get old and we are so, so grateful for all the staff at Tsunami and for the care they take to make it work for him. We have spoken with the manager each time we are there, and the same server always takes great care of us. Tonight, we also met a new manager that will be working with the current one, the head chef, and the regional manager who happened to be in this evening. Apparently, Matthew is the success story they tell throughout the company as they train for allergies. They are so, so good to him and take such care in feeding him and they always seem happy to see us. They all love that they can provide a safe meal for Matthew. In fact, this evening the manager told us that he is going to put together a menu just for Matthew so that if we come in when he isn’t working, whoever is there will know exactly what menu items Matthew can eat and how to modify them to make them safe. Matthew is always grinning when we go, his whole face alight, and the manager commented on that this time, telling us that he loves to see that smile. Despite the fact that Matthew has so much going on that he forgot it was his birthday until someone mentioned it (that would have been me early this morning as he waited for his friend to pick him up for a temple appointment) dinner was a huge success and Matthew will have sushi for lunch tomorrow as well.

Once he got back from the temple, Matthew spent most of his day in rehearsals of one kind or another. The school musical opens next week, and they are nowhere near ready, so they have scheduled rehearsals on all the days off they have this weekend. Matthew is doing tech for the show rather than being in it, and pretty much rolls his eyes at how much they don’t accomplish at each rehearsal. It is festival season for the high schools as well, so he had another rehearsal with his solo and ensemble group once musical rehearsal was over. Basically, he left the house about 7:00 this morning and showed back up around 3 p.m. Most of Matthew’s birthday and Christmas presents will be band tour in April, but we did get him a Lego set that features a jazz ensemble. Jazz is the music he loves, so it is a set he has been wanting and he spent the interim between rehearsal and dinner building Lego. 

Matthew has grown up a lot in the past several years. I know it is normal for teens at this age, but for some reason it seems to be more pronounced with Matthew. People tell me all the time that he has changed so much, and although I see him every day and it doesn’t seem so pronounced to me, I know it is true. The last of Matthew’s chubby baby cheeks have melted away over the past year and with them, the last bits of his little boy look. As a toddler and little boy, I did not understand how he thought and as such, it seemed that he knew how to push every one of my irritation buttons and did so regularly. We really didn’t understand each other for many years because we are just so very different. But over the past several years, he has also learned how to communicate better and has come to trust Kevin and I, which is a huge blessing. Any time your teenager talks to you is a good day, and Matthew has gotten to the point where he talks to us regularly about the good stuff, the bad stuff, the hard stuff, pretty much all the stuff. Along with that, he has opened up emotionally and has become a hugger. He is very supportive of Malia and all her worries and is creating a relationship with her of the caliber of the ones he has with Daniel and Nathan. He still doesn’t think the same way I do, and I still struggle to understand how his brain works sometimes, but overall, the path of our relationship has smoothed a great deal as well. Matthew is an important piece of our family puzzle and I feel like he is actively working to strengthen family relationships. And I love it.

Matthew has really preferred not to make a big deal out of his birthday for years now, but after dinner (and a quick visit to his best friend who received her BYU acceptance email this evening) he did humor me and let me put a candle in the lemon meringue pie we had in lieu of birthday cake. And he even let me take pictures. And smiled. Which was something he was not prone to doing as a little guy. Seriously, he would scowl every time I tried to take his picture. And pout. I guess that is another sign that he has grown up a lot. 😂

Despite all the rough days we had when he was tiny, I’m incredibly grateful that Matthew is a part of our family. Due to his allergies and the fact that I struggled to find babysitters who didn’t freak out just thinking about watching him, he went with me pretty much everywhere. He was my little buddy and while we clashed spectacularly on a regular basis, he is also the child who reminded me how to laugh. Life gets hard when you are raising young children, have a husband who is working full time and going to school full time, must relearn how to cook so you can feed your food allergy child safely, and are trying to make your meager budget stretch to include the pricier specialty food items needed to facilitate that safe eating. So, I needed to remember to laugh. And Matthew definitely helped me do that. In fact, some of his toddler stunts are still a surefire way to bring a smile to my face. When I need a laugh, I can just pull out the blog books from that period of his life and before I know it, my spirits have been lifted.

When he was born, I had no idea what was in store for us. I had no idea that a short five months later we would be in the emergency room with him during what was his very first allergic reaction. I had no idea of the fear and anxiety that was in store for both of us as we learned to navigate the food allergy life. I had no idea that he would be much more stubborn than his older brothers and that I would struggle to figure out how to communicate with him. I also had no idea how much I would miss having him underfoot when he finally went to school. Or what an incredible example of faith and courage he would be as he dealt with the day-to-day ramifications of his food limitations. Or how much strength and light he would find in the temple and just how often he would be drawn there. Again, an amazing example. 

I find it ironic that I started my path as a parent thinking that I was the one responsible for teaching all these little humans that were sent to my family and over the years, I have ended up learning just as much from them as they learned from me. On these days when I am reminded that my children are growing up and time is passing much faster than I would like, I find myself looking back and hoping that I have done enough to give them a solid foundation in life and in the gospel. But I also find myself looking forward to what I hope is a joyful and fulfilling life ahead of them. While I know Matthew has more struggles ahead of him, I also think he has much to look forward to. And he can hardly wait to get there.

And as a sidenote, I’m still tickled that during my ongoing attempts to expand Matthew’s diet, I have learned to make a lemon meringue pie with nary an egg in sight. And it is one of Matthew’s favorite kinds of pie. 😉

And All That Jazz

We have had a very jazzy week. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it is the time of year when Daniel and Matthew have their concerts in honor of the holiday of love.

On Thursday evening we drove to Logan to attend the Daniel’s. The USU jazz bands play for a three-night dinner and dance event in a local community. We just go for the music, but honestly, I love watching the older couples dance. These are folks who grew up in the era of classic jazz and swing and one of my favorite parts of the evening is the fact that when they take their sweethearts to a dance, they actually dance! Not only do they know all the traditional social dances, they know which ones go with which kind of song. The younger set doesn’t seem to have that same awareness of which steps to use based on what matches the music. This is the second year that we have gone, and it was just as enjoyable as last year. 

Because Daniel is living away at school, I don’t get to hear him play as often as I once did. This year he auditioned into the upper-level jazz band, and he is taking private lessons again, so I was rather excited to hear him play. He has always loved his music and puts in as much practice time as he can manage, and his abilities reflect the time he puts in. He is playing the tenor sax instead of his alto in the jazz orchestra, and he has gotten really good. It’s always nice to be able to spend some time listening to him play.

Last night was Matthew’s second annual ValenTunes Gala. Last year as they planned the inaugural event, the band teacher asked the kids for suggestions about what to call it. Matthew is the one who suggested the ValenTunes moniker and I’m proud to say that it looks like it is a name that will remain in perpetuity. That’s one of the fun things about attending a fairly new school with a teacher who is brand new to the school. You get to help create the traditions that will remain long after you graduate. Matthew is very pleased that his idea is sticking around! 

This concert also offers dinner, but rather than being a dance, it has more of a New York nightclub kind of a vibe. The lighting was appropriately moody with candles on the tables (although they were electric due to local fire codes) and dimmed overhead lights. Dinner was served in courses as we listened to an hour and a half of fantastic music. There were mixed drinks available (although we did not choose to imbibe even though they were all mocktails). The school jazz choir was on hand to croon to us throughout the evening. And the jazz band gave a fantastic performance. Matthew has also spent a lot of time practicing and his playing reflects the time he puts in. He did a great job, and I was so proud of how well he performed! He has struggled with some performance anxiety in the past, but that was not in evidence last night. He is the lead trumpet, and his high notes were strong and clear and rang out. He was so, so tired by the time he got to the end, but it was truly a great performance. I’m looking forward to being able to attend again next year.

Although it has meant several late nights in a row and my body doesn’t respond well to not getting enough sleep, it has been a great week performance wise and well worth the lack of zzz’s. While both the high school and college bands have a tendency to play the more hard-core modern jazz for their other concerts, these Valentine’s Day ones always feature many of the old jazz standards from the 40’s and 50’s that I love. It makes for several toe tapping evenings of familiar tunes that I greatly enjoy. On the other hand, I think Malia is all jazzed out…

Brothers Don’t Shake Hands! Brothers Gotta Hug!

Matthew is in high school which means he lives in social drama central every day. Tonight was the girls’ choice sweetheart’s dance at the high school and Matthew very much didn’t want to go. He had some unsettling questions from an unknown source come his way about a month ago and he definitely did not want to get dragged into any of the rampant emotional drama that happens, so he politely informed all concerned parties that he would be out of town this weekend. Then he proceeded to arrange to spend the day with his older brothers in Logan. Matthew has ended up having a really hard week, so quality time with his big bros was just what he needed. He drove up and spent the entire afternoon and evening with them. Daniel had to take off long enough to play with the pep band for a girls’ basketball game, but Matthew and Nathan visited the campus store during that time and both boys ended up with some new USU merch. After Daniel got back, they ate dinner and played games and basically had some good brother time.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m so grateful my kids have become friends now that they are a little older. The big age gaps don’t make as big a difference as they did when they were young, and I could not be happier that they get along and can rely on each other. I know Matthew misses his brothers and I love that they will welcome him into their lives, and their schedules, whenever possible. 

Oh, and once when the kids were very young, I remember thinking that when they got older it would be easier to get a picture of them where they didn’t look totally dorky. I was obviously completely wrong about that. They still have a tendency to look dorky in pictures, but most of the time, they do it on purpose. 😂