Fifth Disease

Nathan has Fifth Disease. Sounds scary, huh? It's not. It's actually just a virus that can cause a mild illness, like a cold, and then a rash. Nathan skipped the mild cold-like part and went straight to the rash. Having a child suddenly develop a big rash like that for no apparent reason was rather stressful. We thought that it might be a reaction to his recent MMR shot, but when it didn't go away we took him to the doctor to make sure he is okay. He feels just fine, but the rash could linger for a few more weeks. The disease is only contagious before the rash breaks out, so for those of you who have seen my crazy looking kid running around, don't panic. And if your kids suddenly start looking pink and polka dotted, I'm terribly sorry. He didn't even have a runny nose to warn us to keep him away from others.

This is yet another stop on the crazy-medical-things-happen-to-
our-family express. At least this one doesn't involve excluding yet another group of foods from our diets!

305

Nathan has a favorite number. His favorite number is 305. Yup. That's right. My five-year-old's favorite number is three hundred and five. However, if you ask him what his favorite number is, he will probably just look all confused. How then, you may ask, do I know it is his favorite? Because of statements such as these:

"I want 305 presents for my birthday."
"I'm 305% full!"
"Why are there 305 traffic lights?"
"You can get baptized when you are 8, or older, like 305."

"What if we had a carrot that was 305 feet tall?"
"I'm not going to ride my bike 305 times a day because I want it to stay just like it is for a few days."
"If we play too much we'll be 305% tired."

When I was his age my favorite number was 16. It seemed like a really big number. I don't think I even had a good concept of how much 300 was. Just another sign that my children are all smarter than I am.

Happy, Happy Birthday

I remember being so excited for my birthday that I couldn't sleep and waking up the next morning convinced I felt different because I was seven instead of six. I remember the enthusiasm that went into blowing out the candles and the glee of playing party games with my six best friends. I remember that cake always tasted better when it was birthday cake. But as the years go by, we usually lose that glimmer of magic that accompanies our birthdays. I think the change comes when we stop thinking of it as growing up and start referring to it as growing old. But all the magic reappears when you celebrate a birthday with one of your children!

Nathan just turned five. It seems like he has been waiting forever for five because five means kindergarten, his own library card, and older than four. Five is a big number. We started off his week-long birthday celebration with the official b-day cake at Poppa's house on Sunday. He asked for a dragonfly cake (I have no idea why), so that's what he got. Sugar-crusted sparkly wings and all.


Wednesday was his real day and what a day we had! Our main task for the morning was going to the library to get the much coveted library card. However, we left the house at 8 a.m. and the library doesn't open until 10. So he had to suffer through grocery shopping and errands for two hours before we got to the library. But he was great and loved using his own card to check out his books!

In the afternoon, Grandpa and Grandma came by to give him his presents from them. He got a flying disc (Like a frisbee but soft and easier to throw well. Grandpa showed Nathan how to throw it and he nearly took our heads off!), a hand held electronic football game, and four wonderful new shirts. One of the great things about Nathan is that he was just as excited about the shirts as he was about the toys. It's probably because he's the second brother and ends up with a lot of hand-me-downs!

Nathan got to choose what we ate for dinner ("Seashell macaroni, plain, with broccoli, not baked, just steamed.") and ate it off the "You Are Special Today" plate. Kev brought home balloons and Nathan was so excited he nearly flew out of his chair. I know I'm just a big bawl baby anyway, but it almost made me cry to see him so excited.

After dinner came the presents. He got a soccer ball, and then we made him guess what his other present was.

We gave him hints. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "It's something you can use outside."
Nathan: "A shovel?"
Me: "Nope. It's something you can use with Daniel and with all your friends."
Nathan: "A soccer ball?"
Me: "Nope. You just got that! It's something that has wheels."
Nathan: "A Wheelbarrow?"
Me: "It's something you can ride."
Nathan: "A wheelbarrow????"
Kev: "No. It has two wheels. (pause) Yours is broken. (extreme pause) A bicycle, silly!"
Nathan: "A bicycle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So Kev and Nathan headed to the store to choose his bicycle. They took the truck and Kev informs me that Nathan asked if he could choose the music. He pushed all the buttons, finally saying, "I choose this music." It happened to be "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul.

After the bike came home, Nathan had just a few minutes to ride. He kept asking for just one more time down the street, just one more time to the mailbox, just one more time . . .


I think he had a really great day, in spite of the fact that he wanted to have his friends over for a cake and to play games, but didn't tell me until after breakfast on his birthday. He was really great about it when I told him it was too late to plan a friends' party, and said that next year he will tell me sooner!

So there it is, the birthday magic in action! And now that I think about it, no matter how old you are getting a "Happy Birthday" balloon bigger than you is always cool!

Infestation

We're having a bug infestation.
"I'm so sorry," you might say. "What kind?"
My response? "Plastic foam."

Apparently I need to go potty with the door open.

Zooligans

When we asked Nathan what he wanted to do for his birthday, he told us he wanted to go to the zoo. Since his actual birthday is on Wednesday and neither Kevin nor Daniel can go to the zoo on Wednesday, we went on Saturday instead. The forecast was predicting rain, but we packed up our umbrellas and went anyway. And the weather was perfect! No precipitation, clear skies and perfect cool temperatures that encouraged all the animals to high levels of activity! There were only about ten cars in the parking lot when we arrived, so we pretty much had free reign in the zoo until about 12:30. Then the crowds appeared and we disappeared, already finished with our tour of the amazing animal kingdom.

One of the fun things about arriving early at the zoo is that the bird handlers are out on the entrance plaza with some of the birds. Later in the day when the zoo gets really busy, they put the birds away. As we entered, one of the handlers was holding a Stellar's Sea Eagle, a bird new to the zoo. This bird was huge. I've always thought Bald Eagles were large, but the Stellar's Eagle was nearly twice as big. They told us this particular species of eagle is one of the largest in the world. There is only one bigger, a type of eagle that lives in the jungles and grabs and eats monkeys.

Matthew was mostly content just to run around and since there were very few people there, we just got him out of the stroller and let him run. He did really enjoy the big water covered globe in the entrance plaza. He touched it, petted it, pushed it as hard as he could and even hugged it. He was damp for several hours afterward! Occasionally he would catch a glimpse of an animal that intrigued him, stare at it intently for a minute or two, and then he would take off, perfectly content just to walk around. He touched everything he could touch, and was generally overjoyed to be outside.

Nathan, like a typical almost-five-year-old, was so excited he could hardly stand still. We spend a great deal of time telling him to wait for us. He was really excited about seeing all the baby animals. This year there was a baby giraffe as well as baby penguins and baby ducks. He was still to nervous to sit on the trunk of the big bronze elephant, but at least we got him to stand behind it this time. He has informed us that he will sit on it next time we go to the zoo. And for those who may be wondering, he did in fact call the leopard a pucheeto!

Daniel has reached a milestone because he can read all the information plaques by himself. He learned some interesting facts about the animals and when encouraged will pepper us with facts. A whole new world of information has opened up for him now that he is such a fluent reader and he takes advantage of that everywhere we go! His least favorite part of the day was tripping while running down one of the hilly paths and tearing a huge hole in his knee. It is an ugly wound, but he was super brave when we cleaned it out.

My favorite part of the day was seeing the big cat training. The big cat handlers do training with the Amur Tiger and the Amur Leopard as part of the big cat exhibit. The trainings only last about five minutes (apparently the big cats have short attention spans), but it was really interesting to see. The train the cats to "target," basically having them touch their noses to a target as a tool to use in moving the cats from place to place. They also train them to stand so they can look at their bellies. The tiger they have is afraid of doors, so he gets treats if he doesn't roar at the big, bad doors. I agree with Kev though. I kind of wanted to hear him roar!

We had a great day, although I think Kev and I were more tired at the end of our excursion than the boys were. I must be aging because it is hard work keeping up with three boys, all of whom are moving as fast as they can!

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

On Monday evening we went to the aquarium for Family Home Evening. Not only was it fun, but it was free! My dad and my youngest sister are teachers and the teachers association occasionally sponsors such free events for the teachers and their families. And we were lucky enough to be invited to go.

Even though we have been there before, Daniel and Nathan still enjoy it. Nathan loves touching the starfish and the sea pencils (though they weren't out on this visit). This time he seemed intrigued by the puffer fish. He kept commenting on how big it was.


Daniel always loves looking at all the fish (although his favorites are always the sharks) and since he has really become a confident reader, he loves reading the interesting facts posted about each kind of fish.


Matthew was surprisingly interested in the fish. He would put his face on the glass right by them to get a closer look. He especially liked the sharks. He stood by the glass, pointed, and hollered, "Yeah! Yeah!" when they swam by.


I love that my children are so intrigued by the many wonderful creatures on this earth. Apparently we are bird brains and fish heads!

Just Call Me the Invisible Woman

I am invisible. Not the cool kind of "Hey, I can spy on everyone" invisible, but the "Hello?! Am I even here?" kind of invisible. For example, my children can see the TV just fine, but even if I stand in between them and the screen, they absolutely cannot see me. However, everyone else can see me just fine, so I must conclude that only my children are affected of my invisible nature. I call this particular affliction Domestic Blindness. I am not the only thing that becomes invisible due to the malady my children suffer. Absolutely any object in our house may mysteriously become invisible to their poor, tortured eyes.

Domestic Blindness is often experienced with the corresponding residential disease referred to as Domestic Deafness. When having a flare up of Domestic Deafness, children are completely unable to hear certain frequencies, typically those that encompass the speaking ranges of both father and mother.

Let me explain how these debilitating diseases effect our daily lives. This morning I asked Nathan to put his bib on so he could eat breakfast. He was obviously in the middle of a flare up of Domestic Blindness, because he could not see his bib even though it was right in front of him. For nearly five minutes he searched all over, looking everywhere in the vicinity of the table. Finally, the flare up passed and at last he was able to see his bib. When it was time to brush teeth, I asked the big boys about six times to stop playing and brush so we could get Daniel to school on time. But to no avail. It was obviously Domestic Deafness. Later on, as I was trying to get Matthew ready to go, I asked the big boys to take the dry laundry out of the dryer and put the wet laundry in. There was no response. No sounds of action. Nothing. So I asked them if they were switching the laundry. They replied in the negative (of course), so I asked them again. And still there was no movement towards the laundry basket. Apparently they were both experiencing intermittent flashes of Domestic Deafness. When we finally got everything done and were ready to go, I asked for help in finding Matthew's blankie. I should have known that both Daniel and Nathan were far too ill to be able to assist me in this task. I was searching every room in the house, hearing them periodically holler that they couldn't find it, walked back in to the kitchen and saw the blankie about two inches from both boys. Normally a bright blue blanket patterned with rainbow hued animals with electric yellow edging would be no problem to spot, but when afflicted with Domestic Blindness, it becomes impossible to see.

I hope these fine examples of Domestic Blindness and Deafness are helpful in identifying these troublesome conditions in your own homes. They seem to affect all children at one time or another, although some are more prone to relapses than others. Unfortunately, the only cure for these disorders appears to be having children of one's own, at which point the disease simply passes to the next generation. I only wish that these illnesses could linger into adulthood. Perhaps then I could ignore the enormously loud noises that seem to accompany my children in all their waking hours or even gloss over the cracker crumbs spread all over the kitchen floor, but alas, it is simply not meant to be.

Pomp and Circumstance

Nathan's Preschool Graduation was on Friday evening. He has spent the month of May preparing for it at school and he was incredibly excited. I'm sure many of you are wondering why they need a graduation. It's just preschool, right? The reason they have a graduation is to give the children a chance to do this:


I mean, what child doesn't cherish the opportunity to stand on stage and wave to his family? And seriously, this graduation is one of the things about our preschool that we absolutely love. It is a big celebration of the transition from preschool to kindergarten and the kids really love having such a special night. Nathan was so serious while he was singing, but in between songs he was having the time of his life. Afterwards, we introduced our big boys to Leatherby's. Yum! We gathered there with all the grandparents, several aunties and cousins, and an uncle. Now instead of asking to go to Wendy's, Nathan asks to go to "the place we went after my graduation."

I have been so pleased with everything at this preschool. The teachers are fabulous. The curriculum is wonderful. My kids have learned so much and come away completely prepared for kindergarten. And the owner is all about giving the kids moments of great joy and success. What parent wouldn't love for their child to have moments like this one?


So let's give a cheer for the new graduate! Hip, hip hooray!

Little Dude

Before Matthew was born, we had trouble choosing a name for him. In fact, we didn't decide for sure what to call him until we were getting everything in order to check out of the hospital and needed something to fill in the blanks on his form. (Daniel however, was sure he was Matthew for about three months before he was born. Apparently we should have listened.) Due to the lack of a name, my youngest sister started calling him Little Dude. We all picked it up, even me. Three weeks before the birth when we ordered brother shirts for all our boys, we put Little Dude on Matthew's shirt because we had nothing else to put. And even now, at fifteen months, he still gets called Little Dude.

After he was born, the name stuck but got treated with a bit more irony. After all, he was over 8 pounds at birth and seemed to be following in the big ol' footsteps of his older brothers. But over his first year, as his growth evened out to reflect his true stature, it became obvious that he definitely is the "little" brother. At his one year appointment our doctor checked his measurements two or three times to make sure they were correct. Being accustomed to the size of my two older boys, he finally remarked with a bit of surprise that Matthew isn't going to be all that tall. My dry response? "Well, I am his mother." And I'm not quite 5' 3". Our doc is great though. He just laughed and teased me about diluting the gene pool.

Today was another confirmation of the size difference between Matthew and the other boys. Nathan had his five year check up and Matthew had his fifteen month. Nathan is in the 95th percentile for both height and weight. Matthew, on the other hand, is in the 15th percentile for weight and he isn't even on the chart for height. I mean way below the 3rd percentile.

It looks like "Little Dude" is a more appropriate nickname than we ever thought it would be. Poor kid. He is always going to be the younger, shorter brother. At least he has a giant sized personality to make up for it!

The boys in their brother shirts (May 2007)

If All the Raindrops Were Lemondrops and Gumdrops

There was a primary activity yesterday. Moms were invited, so Daniel, Nathan and I spent part of our morning at the church. We played Mother's Day bingo. The boys planted red petunias in cute flower pots as a gift for me. And they made cookie flowers in pudding dirt cups for refreshments. Nathan is not a fan of pudding, but that didn't stop him from creating a masterpiece in pudding, cookies, and gummy worms. However, he had absolutely no interest in eating his creation. When we got home we found a nice, sunny place in the backyard for my flowers. Then Nathan informed me that he wanted to leave his pudding cup outside so it could grow. Can you imagine what that would be like? Balls of cookie dough emerging in the spring, the summer sun gently baking them to crispy perfection just in time for autumn harvest. If only . . . Anyway, I had to tell him I was pretty sure it wouldn't grow.

Sometimes I wish I could protect him from reality just a bit longer. It might be a nicer world if more people believed that cookies really could just grow, that it could really rain lemonade if the clouds were just right, and that Santa really does fly all the way around the world once a year.

Please Pass the Advil!!!!!

I woke up on Saturday morning with a headache. Not a My-head-is-a-bit-achey-I-think-I'll-take-a-couple-Tylenol headache. A Holy-cow-when-I-move-anything-the-whole- world-spins headache. For those of you who are lucky enough not to be afflicted with migraines or other such heinous types of headaches, let me describe what it is like. First, take a railroad spike (the bigger and rustier the better) and shove it through your head. Location doesn't matter much, although my personal favorites are the temples and right behind my ears. Now, tune your radio to whatever kind of music you absolutely abhor. Whether it is country or hip hop, rap or hard rock, make it really loathsome. And then turn it up as loud as you can. Loud enough that your teeth vibrate. Next, look directly into the sun. Then add in some dizziness, nausea, and vomiting and you've got a pretty good idea of what a really gruesome headache feels like. I know that people look forward to being resurrected and being restored to their perfect bodies for a variety of reasons, everything from anxiously awaiting the return of the thin, svelte pre-baby body to welcoming a full, lush landscape of hair. But me, the things I look forward to the most are not having to endure any more skull crushing headaches and being able to see farther than three inches without my glasses. Seriously, I would happily be fat for eternity if it meant I never had to spend another day vomiting due to the enormously sharp pain in my temporal lobe.

As a result of this mind numbing experience, I missed the opera and dinner with my mom and my sisters. I was totally bummed. It was PF Chang's and Don Giovanni for heaven's sake! Mozart! So to make myself feel better (a little bit anyway), I used the money I had set aside for dinner and bought a pair of shoes. They are red. And cute. And they were on sale. And the 6 1/2 actually fit even though I usually can't cram my short, fat little feet into a regular width shoe. And I was lucky enough to get the last pair in my size in the store. And there was a teeny tiny ding on one shoe so they gave me an additional 10% off. And when my change came out as 98 cents, the guy just gave me $1. So I missed dinner and the opera (dang it!), but I got a really cute pair of shoes at 56% off the regular price. And they are red. My favorite color.

Science Geek

When Daniel said our family prayer tonight, he said thank you for the oxygen that is produced from the leaves of the trees. He is such a bright, intelligent boy and I'm very grateful for that, but I'm so afraid he is going to get beat up when he is older.

The Light and The Blight

Have you ever wondered how many of our lifelong neurosis are caused by trauma inflicted upon us by our siblings? Even though we can't remember all the things that happen when we are young and impressionable, I believe that many of our fears and anxieties can be directly linked to experiences in our formative years. Many of which are undoubtedly caused by our siblings. Right now I am having a picture in my mind of Matthew at age 30, so unnerved by the vacuum that he can't force himself to pull the thing out and help his poor overworked wife clean the carpet. I'll give you one guess as to which sibling caused his lifelong trauma. As I'm sure most of you suspected, Nathan is the culprit. No surprise there. Matthew is the light and the blight of his four year old world.

Matthew used to have a very healthy relationship with our vacuum. He would chase it around, try to push it, pull it over on himself, etc. But about two weeks ago, that all changed. Nathan turned on the vacuum without warning, startling Matthew. And then he proceeded to chase Matthew with the vacuum while Matthew attempted to get away as fast as he could toddle. But Nathan was faster and relentless and eventually trapped Matthew in the corner of the bedroom with the vacuum (still turned on of course). There was shrieking such as I have never heard that day. And Matthew has not recovered. Every time he sees the vacuum, he runs for cover (or for Daddy if Kev is home).

Today I made Nathan vacuum the floor after lunch due to the enormously high volume of cracker crumbs all over the carpet. As soon as Nathan opened the closet to get out the vacuum, Matthew high tailed it to the point in the room farthest from the vacuum. I was washing dishes so I didn't hear Nathan approach, but all of a sudden Matthew complained. I turned around and Nathan had Matthew trapped in the corner of the kitchen with the vacuum. It wasn't on, but Matthew was still very nervous. Anyway, Nathan got reprimanded for scaring his brother, told not to do it again, to please just vacuum the floor, etc. But all he heard was, "Blah, blah, blah," because as soon as he was done cleaning up the crumbs, he had the vacuum aimed at Matthew again. I reprimanded him again, telling him that it is just plain mean and he is the reason Matthew is afraid of the vacuum and just get done and put the thing away! So he unplugged it, rolled the cord up, waited until I wasn't looking and then instead of rolling the vacuum back into the closet, pushed it all the way across the room to position it right in front of Matthew again. By then poor Matthew had that deer in the headlights look. So Nathan and I had what my dad refers to as a "Come to Jesus" talk. I asked my four year old if Jesus would want him scaring Matthew with the vacuum. Nathan answered in the negative of course, because he is not a stupid kid. Then I asked him if it makes Jesus happy when he scares his brother on purpose. Again Nathan knew the right answer. I reminded him to be nice because that is what Jesus wants us to do. Fortunately for me, this week's family home evening lesson was on just this topic so I had a recent conversation to remind him of.

Thus ended today's vacuum terror, but I'm sure that in another dark moment, Nathan will be at it again. Poor Matthew doesn't stand a chance.

Here is a fine visual example of Nathan with his light . . .

. . .and his blight.

*#%*!!

Everyone has a favorite expletive, the one that slips out unwittingly when they are angry, frustrated, or just plain irritated at life. Some of these expletives are entertaining. For example, "Camel snot!" was popular with my crowd in high school. From there many creative sounds of annoyance were born: "Monkey poop," "Turtle turd," etc. The more creative, the better. There are those who's favorites are Utah's soft swear words: "Darn it!", "Shoot!", "Crap!", and the ever popular "What the heck?!" There are those who use antiquated exclamations such as "Poppycock!" and "Balderdash!" I have even known people who simply cry out, "Swear words!" And of coarse there are those who just let it rip with "*#%*," "&^$@," or even "*&%$ &*$%#%^&!"

But as I was driving down the road this morning behind a garbage truck who was leaving in its wake a trail of unsavory tidbits (and some big-bits), the only thing that came to mind as I swerved to avoid yet another object to the windshield was my mother's favorite expletive, "Oh, garbage!"