I want to take a minute to address the physical, mental and emotional status of those living in my house.
Malia came home from school yesterday distraught because she has found herself in the middle of two warring parties. This has been going on for months now, but things kind of blew up yesterday. She is friends with both girls, wants to remain so and doesn’t want to be mean to anyone, so she gets very worried about all the drama and how to navigate her social world. Nathan was having some mild cold symptoms yesterday morning, but when he started running a fever last night, we broke out the Covid tests. Unfortunately, he most definitely has Covid. That raised everyone’s stress levels but having Covid in the house coupled with the need to wear a mask at school due to being exposed to Covid added to the emotional stress was nearly more than Malia could handle. She couldn’t even focus enough to get her homework done, so she went to bed knowing that she would be unprepared today. Matthew’s focus was shot as well, so there was no homework done in our household last night and I was totally ok with that. Sometimes life requires a recess from the normal school rules.
This morning was a hard one all the way around. Malia had a really hard time falling asleep last night so she was extra tired this morning. Not only that, but she really, really didn’t want to go to school because she was so worried about the social drama, so she had a really hard time getting up and moving. It took her nearly an hour to get out of bed, which meant that she was eating breakfast five minutes before she was supposed to walk out the door. Matthew woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. At 4:00 he was still so completely awake that he figured he might as well get up and decided to take advantage of the time to wrap some Christmas presents. Although he didn’t come fully awake, Kev heard rustling in the house at 4:00 which disrupted his sleep a bit. And I never sleep well when I’m anxious about sick kids, so I was pretty tired this morning as well. In fact, I think Nathan was the one who slept the best. With some Aleve in him to dampen the fever and no need to get up early to go to work, he felt pretty good when he got up.
I’m feeling stressed today as well because I really don’t want Matthew and Malia to get sick and miss out on their fun activities for the next several weeks. Malia feels like she always gets sick just in time to miss the big events at school and to be completely fair, she is justified in thinking so. She has in fact missed many days that held fun activities, the latest being her big turkeys vs. farmers debate just before Thanksgiving two weeks ago. And Matthew has concerts and parties and a variety of things coming up as well.
As for me, I’m a germaphobe who has Covid in the house which means my stress is running high. In addition, I am in charge of our primary activity on Tuesday, and I really don’t want to miss it. Not only is it the last activity of the year and our Christmas activity, but it is Malia’s last primary activity ever. I was in charge of our Christmas activity last December as well and it was cancelled due to a Covid outbreak in the ward. I’m really hoping the rest of the family can stay well so Malia and I can attend this activity.
So the catchword of the day seems to be stress. I’m so stressed that I can’t even stress eat which means my stress level is higher than the normal day to day stress of life. When the world shut down due to Covid and we had two earthquakes that same week, there were cookies. When the kids went back to school with all the Covid protocols in place, there were cookies. When Nathan was preparing to leave on his mission, there were cookies. When Matthew had Covid in July, there were cookies. When Nathan began to really struggle with the headaches while he was in Texas, there were cookies for both of us. When he came home as a result of the headaches, there were cookies. So the fact that the thought of eating a cookie makes my stomach clench up is really saying something about my current stress level.
Honestly, I think Nathan is the least stressed of all of us. He doesn’t feel particularly well, but he really needed a day off work and he’s going to get a few of those which will be good for his mental state. His life is on pause for a tiny bit, but he spent the day finishing his Christmas shopping and playing a Spiderman video game, so he feels like it has been a productive sick day. He is still running a fever, but at least the meds take away the fever headache, if not the underlying one that is still plaguing him.
Hopefully we will all sleep better tonight so that tomorrow doesn’t feel so hard. If I can sleep well and get the “what if’s” in my brain to quiet down, maybe I’ll even want to eat a cookie. That would be an improvement.