Only Believe

Earlier today I was informed that my dad’s last living brother, who is 94 years old, has tested positive for Covid-19. At that point, Kev asked me how I’m doing. And honestly, I didn’t know. After some time to let things sink in, my feelings are a bit clearer. I’m not happy, of course. I’m sorrowing and worrying about my family. There is uncertainty at every turn right now. Life is fraught with anxiety about the unknown and the what if’s. But beyond that, I think I’m ok. I don’t feel panicky or freaked out. At my core, I feel peaceful. I’ve been hoping we would all come out of this unscathed, but that’s unrealistic. None of us will be the same when this particular trial passes. And while we can’t change our situation or choose what is going to happen, what we can do is choose how we respond to our challenges. We can either “curse god and die” or we can “stand in holy places and not be moved.” (D&C 45:32) During the course of my scripture study last week, I read the story of Jairus’s daughter found in the New Testament. When Jairus heard that his daughter was dead, he was understandably distraught. The Savior responded to him by counseling, “Be not afraid, only believe.” (Mark 5:36) That short sentence has been in my mind for the past week and as I have pondered on it, it has been a constant reminder that we are all in the Lord’s hands. He knows our struggles and worries, he knows our sorrows and pains, and he knows perfectly how to succor us. I’m constantly reminding my children that they were saved for these last days because the Lord knew they were strong enough to withstand the trials we would face and valiant enough to stay true to the faith despite the wickedness building all around us. But today the Spirit whispered to my heart that I was sent to the earth now for the same reason. I am strong enough. With faith in the Savior and hope of glorious blessings to come, I can not only get through it, I can be stronger at the end. And while I may not be able to fix any distressing situations for my family or all the others I love, I can allow myself to be the Savior’s hands and “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” (D&C 81:5) I can choose to allow my trials to strengthen my faith. I can work to “Hear Him” through the tumult of the world all around. I’m going to have hard days. We all will. But I know I’m not alone. And no matter what happens, I know the Savior is standing at my shoulder, guiding my path. Christ is my pilot. Every day of my life. And every day after that.

The New Look of Laundry Day

In the Bag

Nathan has been working for about three months now. Last month his store held their annual bagger’s competition and Nathan, a rookie of only a couple of months, won first place. The second-place bagger has been working there for years and apparently was a bit steamed that Nathan beat him. We had a good laugh about that. Today was the regional bagger’s competition in which the top two baggers from each store joined in a bigger competition. In a nod to Covid, this year’s competition was held via video chat, but the store still made an effort for their two top baggers. The made t-shirts for them, decorated an upstairs conference room, had a spread of snacks on hand, and made a big deal of the whole thing. Nathan didn’t spend any time practicing at home (although he was encouraged to do so) and still came in tenth in today’s competition. He was more than pleased with that, of course. He didn’t take any of this seriously, hence the no practicing, but he did have a good time. This is one of those things that can boost employee morale. I’m so glad Nathan is working in a place that tries to show their employees that they are appreciated.

A Mixed Bag

Yesterday was back to school day for Nathan and Matthew. Today was back to school day for Malia. They have all come out of their first days with mixed feelings.

Nathan’s A days are rough. Being in two choirs in a Covid world is not all that fun. Singing in a mask is hard. Add to that all the social drama that he desperately wants to avoid, and choir becomes a virtual smorgasbord of ulcer inducing anxiety. He originally had four choirs, but over the past couple of months he decided to drop two of them and add a couple of math classes into his schedule instead. Math translates to Covid altered learning much more successfully than choir. And honestly, he’s so stinking excited about the math that it just makes more sense for him to spend a bit more time there. Luckily, one of those math classes and ASL 3 (he took ASL 1 last year and learned so fast that his teacher told him to skip right to ASL 3), both of which he loves, give him a break between choirs and add some redeeming grace to his A days. So there is a bit of a silver lining there.

In direct contrast to A days, Nathan says B days are going to be awesome. He starts the say with seminary (always a fantastic way to start the day!) and has AP Physics C and AP Statistics on these days. He also has a mythology class, but that one is just to finish filling in his language arts requirement so he can graduate. He’s definitely interested in the topics they will cover, but he’s nowhere near as excited as he is for his heavy math classes. Have I mentioned that he really loves math? I mean really, really loves it. He does math on his own time for fun. Daniel reviewed over the summer so he would back up to speed when school started and Nathan happily, nearly giddily, helped him remember the finer points of calculus. So he’s super excited for B days. His entire demeanor after school today was lighter than it was yesterday.

Matthew is going back to school with a hybrid schedule. He has several classes in person, but he’s not ready to be a part of the mass of humanity that is the middle school. His stress level about being an asthmatic in the midst of Covid is still really high. So he’s going to the school for band, drawing and stage crew (and his teachers have been fantastic about helping him find less populated routes to get from one place to another) and doing the rest of his classes online. We don’t really know what online school is going to look like as of yet because nothing has been posted. We’re not even really sure who all his teachers are, so that could be interesting and is providing a bit of anxiety for him. But the band part is great. His face was lit up when he came home yesterday. He said it is so good to be back in the band room. His eyes were alight when he came home today as well. (The middle school is also using a block schedule this year to help lessen the amount of time spent cleaning each day and to minimize the number of passing periods in each day.) He has tons of friends on stage crew and being able to see them and interact with them was amazing. The only damper on things right now is the fact that the before school jazz band has not started yet. They just barely hired a new teacher (the previous one went full time at the high school so is no longer available to pick up those couple of classes he was teaching at the middle school) and he hasn’t had time to work out all the details. But it will come. And Matthew is ready to go when it does.

School definitely looks different for Malia this year. In response to Covid and the need to push the school start date back from the end of July, our elementary has switched from their year-round calendar to a traditional calendar. That meant that for the first time ever, she had a full summer vacation. She seemed to enjoy that, but we’ll see how she feels later this year when she doesn’t go off track. One of the characteristics of year-round school is the fact that at least half of the kids in each class remain in the same class from year to year. It’s those families (like us) that have a preference for a specific, less popular track and always request that one. But moving to a traditional calendar means a lot more mixing of kids across classes. And to her dismay, Malia only knows a couple of the kids in her class this year. Add to that the fact that they are doing everything they can to keep the kids as far away from each other as possible, and my normally friendly girl is having a hard time getting to know the new people in her class. But she does say that’s its good to be back in the school. She loves school and has missed it a lot. During the stretch of online school in the spring, there were several occasions when she told me that she just learns better when she’s in the school with her teacher. I completely agree with that and hopefully she will learn to navigate the social aspects of school from behind a face mask.

As for me, it has been a really long time since the house has been as quiet as it was this morning. Kevin is still working from home, but he’s tucked away in the sewing room in the basement and I’m rattling around in the rest of the house. I’ve always valued my limited time alone at home, but it has been so long since I’ve had any that for right now, it feels a little desolate. But I’m sure that in no time I’ll fall back into my routine and learn how to cherish these silent moments again. It will probably happen just in time for all the schools to close again when cold and flu season collides with Covid in the fall. 😜

So mixed feelings all around. Excitement and joy interlaced with worrying and wondering. But life is like than, even in more normal times. And these are most definitely not normal times. Some mixed feelings are to be expected and, in my opinion, are much preferred over the raging negativity we could be experiencing.

Birthday Happy!

Today was Malia’s actual birthday. None of us felt like having a bunch of extra kids in our house was a terribly responsible way to celebrate amidst a pandemic, so Kev suggested that we have a reverse birthday party. What is a reverse birthday party, you may ask? Basically, we made cupcakes and put together some fun party favors and then Malia delivered them to the friends and family she would have invited to her party. It gave her a chance to see her important people, chat with them, and share her birthday with people she loves. It worked out great! And it gave us a chance to use pringles and marshmallows to make some super fun cowgirl hat cupcakes. Once again, Pinterest for the win!

Once all the goodies were delivered and Malia had taken some time to color the cute bag her cousin Kate gave her, we took Malia out for a special birthday dinner at Red Robin. We don’t eat out all that often and when we do, there are limited numbers of places that are safe for a peanut allergic person. Add to that the fact that we are in the middle of a pandemic and all the restaurants were closed for a good while there, and it actually ended up being a treat for all of us! I haven’t eaten onions rings since sometime before March, and I have to admit they were dripping with calorie laden goodness. And fry sauce. Yum!

Malia has grown up a lot in the past year. In fact, she has grown up a lot in the past six months. Though we have had our struggles, she has been adjusted as well as can be expected and has risen to the challenge of being an online student. She has also risen to the challenge of being an at home primary participant. While we aren’t actually doing much that can be described as primary specific, she has actively participated in our daily Come Follow Me studies and SCONES. She asks good questions and genuinely wants to know the answers. Her gospel understanding has definitely increased in the past year right along with her temporal knowledge.

She has a creative streak that manifests itself in a plethora of ways including writing stories, drawing pictures, creating crafts, sewing, etc. She is bright and witty and can hold her own in the many pun and joke filled conversations that happen in our family. She is very social, which has made these months of isolation and distancing a challenge, but she is persevering and is hoping that having school start will allow her to get back in touch in a more normal way. She has outgrown most of her little girl preferences (like princesses and My Little Pony) and has moved on to big girl things (like horses and Harry Potter). She passed off all her multiplication tables over the summer and is anxious to get back into the classroom and start learning again.

I’m very glad Malia is in our family. She often makes her brothers shake their heads because none of them have all that much experience with the many “girl things” that come up, but she can hold her own with any of them. She makes us laugh and cry and cheer and shake our heads and roll our eyes and sometimes Christian curse, but she is an irreplaceable part of our little family.

An Aggie Already

Daniel is not wasting any time. He’s already exploring campus and settling into his life as an Aggie. 😊

Move In Day

Daniel moved into his campus housing today. School doesn’t start for another week and a half, but next week was supposed to be band camp for marching band. Unfortunately, marching band became a Covid casualty this year. His move in day was already set and he figured having an extra week to settle in, learn to get around campus, and look for a job would be good, so he was not bothered. The move in schedule was staggered a lot more this year anyway to prevent a huge crowd of people from arriving on campus at the same time so there were students trickling in over the course of two weeks. Covid restrictions only allowed each student to have two people arrive with them, so Kevin and I drove up to Logan and helped Daniel move in.

When we got home this evening, Kevin asked me how I’m doing. My honest answer is that I’m fine. Sending Daniel on a mission was much harder because I knew (at least I thought I did) that he would be gone for two years and that we would be very restricted in terms of when and how we could talk. With him going to college within driving distance, I know he’ll be able to come home when he wants and we can communicate whenever we want in a myriad of ways. And I’m grateful that he is finally able to get his life moving again. Coming home in April was hard for him. He had to rewrite his life plan and since then, he has basically been waiting for the next part of his life to start. He was anxious to get going and more excited than nervous to be taking the next step. He has a handful of high school friends attending USU and a cousin who is also starting this fall, so he has a social web in place already. In fact, as Kevin and I were driving away, Daniel was already headed out to meet up with his cousin for dinner.

He has already texted us to say that he and the one other roommate who has moved in have a lot in common. He thinks they are going to get along well. I hope he has an amazing college experience.

Happy Birthday!

We’ve celebrated one birthday amidst Covid but turning nine is a lot different than turning seventeen. I felt like we needed to do a bit more to make Malia’s birthday special. Although her actual birthday isn’t for a few days, Daniel is moving to Logan tomorrow so we did our family celebration today so we could all be here. That was very important to Malia (as well it should be) and she was completely amenable. Plus, we always end up with multiple birthday bashes so having just one would be as abnormal as the past five months have been!

Malia’s passion right now is horses. She loves all things horsey and desperately wants to learn to ride horses. As such, creating a horse themed birthday cake was a no brainer. We combed Pinterest and came up with a winner. Malia loved it and it looked like something I could actually create. Since she is in not in school this summer, she helped me bake the cakes, make the frosting and tint the fondant. She also helped me decorate the cake, forming fondant and piping part of the mane. She really enjoyed the piping part and we were both so pleased with how the cake turned out!

We did presents today as well. Daniel and Nathan gave her a doll that is just the right size to ride the horse she got for Christmas. She was so excited about that! She has stuffed animals and other dolls that have been riding Woody (her horse) since December, but none of their legs are long enough to fit in the stirrups. Having a doll the right size was one of her birthday wishes and we were even able to find one that was wearing the right clothes for horseback riding. Matthew gave her a brown bear stuffed animal which she loves, and Kevin and I got her a new bike since she has grown so much that she really can’t ride her old one anymore. She got the bike about a month ago, since Kevin was smart and picked it up when he started to notice huge gaps in the selection of bikes. Bikes, like many other items, are in short supply due to a variety of Covid induced reasons. Kevin’s mom gave Malia tickets to see “Mary Poppins” at Hale Centre Theater. That show was actually last week and after being shut up at home for so long, Malia was thrilled to be able to get out of the house and have an adventure!

The family celebration was a great success. Malia was thrilled with how everything turned out. And I am glad that we were able to add a little joy to her seriously restricted lifestyle.