Only Believe

Earlier today I was informed that my dad’s last living brother, who is 94 years old, has tested positive for Covid-19. At that point, Kev asked me how I’m doing. And honestly, I didn’t know. After some time to let things sink in, my feelings are a bit clearer. I’m not happy, of course. I’m sorrowing and worrying about my family. There is uncertainty at every turn right now. Life is fraught with anxiety about the unknown and the what if’s. But beyond that, I think I’m ok. I don’t feel panicky or freaked out. At my core, I feel peaceful. I’ve been hoping we would all come out of this unscathed, but that’s unrealistic. None of us will be the same when this particular trial passes. And while we can’t change our situation or choose what is going to happen, what we can do is choose how we respond to our challenges. We can either “curse god and die” or we can “stand in holy places and not be moved.” (D&C 45:32) During the course of my scripture study last week, I read the story of Jairus’s daughter found in the New Testament. When Jairus heard that his daughter was dead, he was understandably distraught. The Savior responded to him by counseling, “Be not afraid, only believe.” (Mark 5:36) That short sentence has been in my mind for the past week and as I have pondered on it, it has been a constant reminder that we are all in the Lord’s hands. He knows our struggles and worries, he knows our sorrows and pains, and he knows perfectly how to succor us. I’m constantly reminding my children that they were saved for these last days because the Lord knew they were strong enough to withstand the trials we would face and valiant enough to stay true to the faith despite the wickedness building all around us. But today the Spirit whispered to my heart that I was sent to the earth now for the same reason. I am strong enough. With faith in the Savior and hope of glorious blessings to come, I can not only get through it, I can be stronger at the end. And while I may not be able to fix any distressing situations for my family or all the others I love, I can allow myself to be the Savior’s hands and “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” (D&C 81:5) I can choose to allow my trials to strengthen my faith. I can work to “Hear Him” through the tumult of the world all around. I’m going to have hard days. We all will. But I know I’m not alone. And no matter what happens, I know the Savior is standing at my shoulder, guiding my path. Christ is my pilot. Every day of my life. And every day after that.