A Very Important First, But Hopefully Not a Last

For most people, taking the family out to dinner is a simple thing. For us, not so much. It always involves advanced planning, prepping a meal for at least one of my children, and then the emotional toll that occurs when the effected child or children have to watch the rest of us eat something that looks and smells delicious. As you can imagine, we don’t eat out all that much. Even on vacation we have tried to keep eating out at a minimum to help ease that feeling of being left out at the table. So, I’m sure you can imagine what a landmark event our first ever restaurant meal where all six of us were in attendance and were all able to eat was destined to be. We have been planning this meal ever since Matthew’s successful outing to Tsunami in October, and honestly, I think this was the most important event of this holiday season for all of us.

We started off our day with a trip to the temple. Over the past year, it has kind of become our routine to try to schedule a temple trip when Daniel and Nathan are home for a few days. It has been so nice to be able to attend together and it something I suspect we will continue to do. After lunch we drove downtown to take our yearly family pictures. With two kids away at school, scheduling a photo op for all of us has been a challenge. We had originally planned to drive to Logan in October, but work and marching band foiled that plan. We tried again over Thanksgiving weekend, but once again work schedules were tricky to navigate. Everyone has days off work and school this week, so we took advantage of the day to snap a few pics. Kevin and I know that the times when we can get all our kids together for a family photo are only going to become more difficult to arrange as time goes by, so this one kind of feels like the end of an era. Moving forward, we plan to take pictures with Matthew and Malia whenever it works for the four of us and invite the older boys to be in attendance if they can. If not, we totally understand. And encourage their continued foray into adulthood. 

Dinner at Tsunami was the culmination of our day of family outings. We all ate sushi, even Matthew who had his own specially prepared allergen free rolls, and Malia, who has gotten a lot braver about trying things and even liked some of the rolls she tried…minus the fish. 😂 We talked, we laughed, we ate way too much, and we had an absolutely amazing time. This was another remarkable first, one we never thought we would have. And hopefully, there will be more meals, and days, like this in the future. I suspect there will be. We all value family time and while we can’t always make it work, that will make the times when we can even more special.

As time goes by, I am becoming ever more aware of just how precious these family times are. Daniel and Nathan have only a few days at home as they both need to get back to work and honestly, my home is not their home anymore. When they are here, they are only visiting. We all know that. And we are all okay with that. I have raised my children to become capable, independent adults, and I’m not going to mourn the fact that my efforts have been successful. I will just enjoy the times when they are here, take advantage of these fleeting moments when we are all together, and continue to support and love them in the ever-changing ways that having adult children brings. Having said that, I do reserve the right to feel just a little bit sad when they leave to return to their home and their lives. It’s a right that twenty-three years of motherhood has earned me. But I won’t wallow in it. I’ll let that bit of sorrow prick my heart, then I’ll jump right back into the continuing task of raising my younger children. I’m not done with this whole mothering gig yet!

Oh, and as a sidenote, apparently Matthew is still the poster child for food allergies. When he was four or five, our allergist mentioned that she had a medical student in the office and asked if he could come in for our appointment. I agreed. When our doc brought the student in, she told him, “This is an example of a highly allergic individual.” That was our first experience with Matthew being the face of food allergies. The manager on shift at Tsunami was the same manager we met last time, and the same manager Kevin talked to on his first Q and A visit when we were trying to find out if Matthew safely eating there was even a possibility. The manager asked Kevin if the owner of the chain had gotten in touch with him yet. He had not, but the manager said that Matthew’s successful visit was used as a refresher course on food allergy protocols for all the locations and that the owner had asked for Kev’s phone number. I have to admit that cooking for someone with so many allergies can be quite daunting and getting it right in a commercial kitchen is a huge accomplishment. As such, I’m perfectly fine with the fact that once again Matthew seems to be the poster child for food allergies!

Simply Christmas

My family and I are all in need of a break. Daniel and Nathan, who have been juggling work and school, finished their finals and heaved a great sigh of relief. Matthew, who’s crazy schedule has meant that we have seen him pass through the house occasionally on the way to his next stop, needs a good long sleep. Malia is in dire need of a break from all the social drama that seems to infest every middle school everywhere all the time. Kevin could really use a mental break from work and powered off his computer on Wednesday relieved to have a vacation. As for me, the headaches have been pretty severe and I’m so very glad that we have some easy days and easy meals planned. So, for all of us, having a simple plan to celebrate Christmas was just what we needed.

Last night we gathered with my kin at my parents’ house like we usually do. Our Christmas Eve festivities have naturally become calmer as all the grandkids have grown up, but last night was even more mellow than usual. Rachael had sick kids, so they hunkered down at home which meant Malia was the youngest one there. Neither Adam nor Seth were there this year, so in addition to being an older group, we were small in numbers. We ate, read the Christmas story from the Bible, had a little live music, and then headed home. Once home, we spent a few minutes finishing up our Names of Christ ornaments, gave our traditional Christmas Eve spiritual gifts, and went to bed. No one was sleepless with excitement. No one was all sugared up by Christmas cookies. No one was anxious to get an early start this morning. It was a calm, simple evening where we were able to focus on the Savior and anticipate a calm day ahead. 

This morning we got up at a reasonable hour and started our Christmas festivities around 8:00. Stockings were opened while our breakfast (which was all prepped on Saturday) cooked. There were a variety of little goodies for all including kitchen gadgets for Daniel and Nathan, something they have been hoping for since they made key lime pie without all my cool tools and found it much more difficult. Matthew had some of his favorite allergen free treats as well as a tiny measuring tape just right for a key ring and an itty bitty Nerf gun that actually works! He was a super good sport and gave us a photo op imitating one of our favorite Kodak moments from many years ago. Malia had some rubber ducks, and then some rubber ducks, and a couple of rubber ducks. For some reason, Malia has been really into rubber ducks of late, so it was very fun for her. She also got a tiny pullback school bus, which she loves, because the bus ride to and from school is her favorite part of the school day. But perhaps my favorite stocking stuffers were the puking stress balls. Yes, you read the right. There were puking stress balls all around. All other activities stopped for a good fifteen minutes while everyone played with their puke. It led to laughter and some highly entertaining conversations.

“I threw up in a bag.” -Matthew

“Oh! There’s the extra puke!” -Daniel

“I need to go puke on the table.” -Nathan

Kevin: “Are you trying to projectile vomit?”
Malia: “Only at Matthew.”

Ok. I know it’s gross, but it was also really funny!

Our Christmas shopping this year was mostly simple. Kevin had some models he wanted so he picked up the ones he has been looking at and then told all of us what we got him for Christmas. That was probably everyone’s easiest present to get. 😂 I got luggage, which I selected and purchased myself, so another easy gift buying situation. Daniel gets to go to Italy and Switzerland with the USU jazz orchestra next summer, so he got money to use on his trip. Easy gift #3. Nathan was in desperate need of a tall body friendly computer set up when he started working as a virtual employee for the MTC back in September, so we paid for an ergonomic keyboard and mouse earlier in the fall to make his days less headache prone. Another easy gift. Matthew got his band tour in April for Christmas and was in need of a new phone over the summer, so those were easy, if expensive, gifts. Malia was the only one who we struggled to shop for. In the end, we got her a book series she has had a hankering for as well as a microwave s’more maker and an assortment of peanut free fancy chocolate bars. S’mores have been one of her go-to fast, easy treats of choice lately, so we gave her the tools to up her s’mores game. We also got Malia a light box. She has been making flip books lately, and a light box makes creating them much simpler. Toss in a few small Lego sets because we can’t do Christmas without Lego over here and some Happy Little Dinosaurs themed t-shirts carefully selected for each child, and gift giving was pretty simple for Kev and me this year.

As has been pretty common over the past several years, some of the gifts the kids selected were for pure entertainment value. Nathan gave Matthew a brass-stache which Matthew was happy to sport with the practice trumpet he got from Daniel. Nathan selected a spatula with a built-in microphone handle so I can cook and sing (two things I love) at the same time. Matthew gave Malia some cow themed wall art that had all of us laughing out loud. And Nathan fed Malia’s rubber ducky fetish with a beanie sporting a traditional yellow ducky. Even the gifts I selected for my sister Esther were mainly of the belly laugh inducing variety. We gave her some cute Christmas tree cookies along with the bleeding gingerbread man, which did inspire laughter. She was also the recipient of some owner and pet socks-matching footwear for her and Morty, her dog. I swear Morty has to be the most patient dog on earth. Not only did he let Esther put socks on him, but he left them on long enough for her to take pictures and a video as proof. 😂😜

Breakfast was overnight breakfast casseroles of the eggy and egg-free varieties and dinner was our traditional ham and cheesy potatoes, all of which I prepped on the 23rd as Christmas Eve was on a Sunday this year. I have to say that I actually loved doing it that way. I usually spend much of Christmas Eve standing in the kitchen prepping food but doing it a day earlier allowed me to relax and enjoy Christmas Eve as well as Christmas day. I suspect I may be revisiting this particular prep schedule in the future.

In keeping with the rest of this month’s celebrations, Christmas was lovely and low key. It was relaxing and a time for all of us to take a breather and just let things be easy for a bit. We still had a good day, but when asked, all my kids commented that the slower, more relaxed pace of the day was fantastic. They needed it. I needed it. It was simply a wonderful day.

Simply Joyful

In my attempts to simplify my life, which is always an ongoing task for me, I occasionally need to remind myself that simplifying doesn’t mean eliminating everything that is whimsical and fun. For many people, making themed pancakes would be an activity that could easily be tossed out the window. And to be honest, I’ve considered skipping this particular element of our Christmas traditions this year. But thinking about having normal pancakes on Christmas Eve made me sad. Simplifying should bring feelings of relief or calm. If I’m feeling down about my attempts to make things less complicated, that is a sign to me that I’ve trying to cut out something that really matters to me and brings me joy. So, after weeks of vainly attempting to be ok with normal pancakes, I gave in to my inner child and pulled out the food coloring.

This year’s creations were a similitude of what I feel like when pancake art is not a part of my celebrations.

The kiddos, the ones who were at home anyway, were happy to jump on the Grinchy bandwagon. And then Malia branched out and created Kermit. And yes, our creations made me happy!

Do You Want Fries with that Band?

Daniel was not on hand for our gingerbread adventures this year. While we were playing with icing and sprinkles, he was in Boise with the USU football team and the marching band for the Potato Bowl. While Idaho is nowhere near as exciting as L.A. or even Vegas, it does mean that he will be able to make it home tomorrow and be here in time for Christmas Eve dinner with my folks. Like Matthew, he finds great joy in his music and has loved being able to play in the marching band again this season. He is one of the oldest in the marching band at this point and is very aware of that fact, but he is trying to enjoy his music as long as he can. Once college is over, music ensembles change dramatically and are often few and far between for many of us. I see his joy and hope that he will remember all these times with fondness when he is ready to move on to whatever is next. Even if what he remembers is trying to play in the freezing cold and lots of potato jokes!

Simply Sweet (And a Little Bit Gruesome)

As previously mentioned, I’m simplifying this year which means instead of gingerbread houses or giant gingerbread, I stuck with the ubiquitous normal sized gingerbread man…and woman, of course. I baked them a couple weeks ago, made the frosting earlier this week, and just pulled everything out of the freezer/fridge in time for it all to be at the optimal temperature for decorating. That definitely helped make the whole process smoother. I assumed that decorating these typical cookies would yield fairly typical results. However, I should know my offspring better than that. 

One of Matthew’s cookies had giant eyes. And when I say giant, I mean his neck should not be able to hold up his head with his gargantuan orbs. Another of his cookies had serious surgery where his legs were amputated and became ears. That little guy was meant to be the little cat from the Halloween Google doodle game. Upon discovering my inability to decorate a gingerbread man that looked normal (although I created normal looking girls just fine), Matthew attempted to make several normal boys. He came close to normal, with one who was wearing eyeballs for shoes and another who was either a clown with the typical red nose or cookie screaming for its life. So close, but not quite normal.

Nathan’s efforts yielded a man with giant eyes growing on his belly, an old man cookie with a big beard and some serious eyebrows, and an unfortunate fellow who had lost his head…and was holding it in his head. Blood included of course. The old man, while not traditional, was pretty normal looking so I have to give Nathan points for not being completely messed up.

Malia is another story. Not one of her cookies can wear the moniker of normal. These are definitely not standard gingerbread people. One of hers was missing an arm, which I’m fairly certain was just an excuse to sample the cookies ahead of schedule. Another was holding her own foot and had a peg leg in its place. A third had a giant case of pink eye which was unfortunate since he also happened to be a cyclops. Yet another was obviously all hopped up on candy canes and had two different size eyes as a result. And another must have gone through the mixer because it came out assembled all wrong, so wrong in fact, that it was quickly dubbed “The Blob.” 

{sigh} I know this is all my fault. I’m the one who introduced them to gingerdead men after all. Be warned that exposure to said gingerdead men at an early age has some serious developmental side effects. 😜 Having said that, it also means cookie decorating day is never dull at our house!

And now, let’s talk about my cookies for a minute. Several of these cookies were destined to be gifted to my sister Esther, so I was trying to come up with a few normal ones. As mentioned previously, I created normal looking gingerbread girls with no problem. But for some reason, my gingerbread boys came out just a little bit…wrong. One of them ended up looking like he was in the middle of a fascinating drug trip. Another seemed to be screaming for his life. It was not intentional, but they just looked weird. (Nathan said that sounded about right-normal girls and no normal boys. Cookies imitate life. 😂) That was where Matthew’s attempts at a normal boy came into play. In the end, we all voted on which cookies should be bequeathed to Esther and she ended up with one very cute girl and a boy who was holding his bleeding head in his hand. I hope she is entertained. 😉

I love this time with my kids in the kitchen. As noted on my Christmas tree cookie day, having time to make the cookies cute in no way outshines the opportunity to have many tiny fingers covered in flour join me in the kitchen. And I’m so glad that even though my kids are all growing up, they still enjoy spending time with dear old Mom making some sweet…and sometimes gory…memories.

Simply Festive

I’m trying to simplify this year. With my youngest child being a middle schooler, that automatically simplifies the whole Christmas thing. Santa finds prepping gifts for teens and adults a lot less complicated, although it is generally more expensive. I’ve also tried to simplify the many activities I have planned in the past as well as my cooking and baking plans. I still made our top favorite cookies, but I won’t be making six extra kinds on top of those. We purchased small things for a modest number of neighbor gifts instead of giving something hand made to nearly the entire neighborhood. We haven’t planned a ton of outings, and I didn’t even make a new Christmas tree ornament this year (although we did have half a dozen collected on our travels throughout this year.) Pretty much, I took what is most important to us and have ditched the rest.

Having said that, I can’t just eliminate the fun food aspect of the holiday season because I love fun food! However, I did take things down a notch by using canned crescent rolls instead of homemade bread dough to make our pigs-in-a-blanket wreath. And since Malia has decided that she likes loves asparagus now, there were plenty of options suitable for our simple veggie tree. 

The ironic thing is that Malia was actually not here for dinner this evening. I plan my menus a week at a time and frequently plan special meals even further in advance than that, so this meal has been on the docket for a while now. I chose this evening based on the fact that Matthew was actually here for dinner, which has been a rare occurrence of late. Malia received a somewhat last-minute invite to accompany a friend to the aquarium and have pizza for dinner afterward, so she was unexpectedly away for our festive supper. When I shared a picture of our fun food in our family group chat, this was her response:

So goes growing up. You aren’t always here for Mom’s fun stuff even though I try my best to plan around the kiddos’ schedules. Luckily for her, there are plenty of ingredients left to make more pigs for a later meal.

Simply Cute

In days gone by, Christmas cookie making days were a marathon event, especially sugar cookie days. All the kids wanted to help and as every mother everywhere knows, things take five times longer with kids as helpers. In past years, the dough has been mixed and chilled, the cookies cut and baked, the frosting whipped but not colored, and at the end of the day one very tired mother left the dishes piled up for the father to wash when he got home from work. And it was all a bunch of glorious fun. Every cookie cutter in the bin was used at least once. Many of the cookies were slightly deformed by just a little too much contact with warm little fingers. The dough was rolled and rerolled many times as the concept of cutting cookies as close together as possible was still a nebulous concept. And nearly as many scraps ended up in little mouths as in the pile to reroll. It really was an all-day adventure. 

Today was my sugar cookie day. All the kids were at school and based on a previous conversation, there were only a few cookie cutters in play. I rolled the dough, cut the cookies, rerolled and repeated until all the cookies were cut. As the finished cookies started coming out of the oven, I looked at the clock and was stunned to discover that I had only been in the kitchen for an hour. Yup. Solid proof that cookie baking time increases exponentially with each child involved. 

With so much more time available than planned, I not only whipped the frosting, I colored some. And then I decorated cookies to be consumed for our FHE treat this evening. And it was fun! A different kind of fun than cooking with kids, but the kind of cute food fun that I love. And once the cookies were all decked out, I shared the pictures with our family group chat. Because my family knows me, and they always appreciate my gastronomical endeavors. And this was the ensuing conversations:

And I meant every word. Grownups only cookie days lead to cuter cookies, but kids on hand cookie days lead to sweeter memories. And the fact that Nathan snort laughed in public totally made my day!

The Reason Why

I have spent the past sixteen years learning how to cook for Matthew. There was definitely a learning curve early on, but over the years it has become easier to navigate the world of allergen free cooking. Along the way, I’ve had many opportunities to share what I’ve learned with other people who are in varying stages of their allergy journeys. The allergy mama in me is always looking for ways to ease the road these food allergy kids travel, to help them feel included, to give them a bit of normalcy. And that is why I make the effort for my kids as well as other kids who cross my path. And every once in a while, I get a peek into just how much a simple thing can make a difference in the life of a child.

One of the girls in my primary activity group has very recently needed to go dairy free. Her allergy testing says she isn’t allergic, but she isn’t tolerating dairy well at all so they are thinking it is an intolerance and are avoiding all milk products so she doesn’t feel sick all the time. As I prepared a little Christmas gift for the girls, it took me all of about 2 minutes to assemble a dairy free hot chocolate mix to replace the Swiss Miss the other girls got. But it made an impact in her life and her mom was sweet enough to share that moment with me.

And that is why I do it. Even when it takes me longer than 2 minutes. 

Caloric Torment

There are pros and cons to having older siblings that live away from home. Cons include not having them around for all your performances and important events. Pros include fewer pile ups in the bathroom and having your own room. Matthew and Malia discovered a new pro today: Christmas cookie taunting. It was a virtual “neener neener.” Luckily for those older boys of mine, I will be stashing some in the freezer to be eaten when they come home for Christmas. 😂

His Height Grew Three Sizes That Day

Daniel and Nathan are very active in their ward. Just like when they are here, they are always ready and willing to be the ones who show up to help. Their ward Christmas party was this evening and Nathan got tagged teamed for a vital role. The bishop’s son was going to dress up as the Grinch but when he got called into work, Nathan got called into action. He didn’t volunteer, but when asked, he was willing to step in. He is such a good sport!

What Makes a House a Home

 Daniel and Nathan have heartily enjoyed having their own apartment with roommates they selected rather than living in the dorms with the “luck of the draw” roomies. They have settled in well over the past four months and to them, Logan is now home, and my home is where they visit. I’m totally ok with that, by the way. As Kev says, “Home is where your stuff is.” And as I say, “Home is where your life is.” And Logan is the answer to both of those things for my two oldest sons. When they were home (my home that is 😁) for Thanksgiving, they informed us that they intended to buy a cheap Christmas tree for their apartment. As soon as they got back to Logan after the last of the family Thanksgiving gatherings, they headed to the Walmart. Once they returned home with their tree, they turned on “A Muppet Christmas Carol” and began to deck the halls of their little abode. Over the past week they have shared their progress, and it has been fun to see! For a while Daniel’s Tardis ornament was the only one on their tree, but a visit to Hobby Lobby and some crafting with markers and garbage (because according to Nathan, they are too poor for anything else) filled out their décor. 

Nathan also left Herriman with his very own Pringles can sized Christmas tree. Daniel got a similar package on his mission, but Nathan returned home from Texas without spending a Christmas season away. I’m a huge fan of planning in advance though, so his tree was pretty much complete by the time he came home. He was living at home last Christmas, so he didn’t need his own little tree. I tucked it away and gave it to him this year which means he has a tiny tree all his own on his desk as well.

I’m so glad they are making their house a home! The years when my roomies and I liked each other enough to decorate and dig into the holidays like that were generally better years, so I take their desire to decorate as proof that they are happy with their living arrangements. 

Old-Timer

Daniel has officially entered the realm of adulthood. It’s not that he wasn’t considered a legal adult when he turned 18 or that he could have gotten legally drunk at 21, but at the ripe old age of 23, he has begun making his own birthday cake. I’ve been doing that for years so that I can get exactly what I want and then share it with my food allergy kids, but Daniel has not needed to bake for himself all that often. But today he pulled out the recipe and made his all-time favorite Swedish Swirl Cake to celebrate his special day. And because they are roommates, Nathan got to share Daniel’s creation. I don’t know if being 23 makes Daniel feel old, but having Daniel turn 23 definitely makes me feel old!

In addition to cake (and a birthday present that will be delivered tomorrow that Daniel doesn’t know about yet),  Nathan convinced the bishopric to sing “You’ve Had a Birthday” to Daniel in Sunday School, so we have been reassured that Daniel was sufficiently celebrated. 😂

Christmas Time is Here

One of the few perks of having late church (we much prefer going to church first thing in the morning) is the fact that we can go downtown and watch Music and the Spoken Word live without playing hooky from our ward. We went down once earlier this year when the performance was held in the tabernacle and went again today so that we could attend a performance in the conference center. The First Presidency Christmas Devotional is this evening, so the conference center was all decked out for the holidays. It was a fantastic way to start our Sabbath and the Christmas season!