Self-Improving Quote of the Day

  • "Love is making space in your life for someone else."--Niell F. Marriott

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

A Very Important First, But Hopefully Not a Last

For most people, taking the family out to dinner is a simple thing. For us, not so much. It always involves advanced planning, prepping a meal for at least one of my children, and then the emotional toll that occurs when the effected child or children have to watch the rest of us eat something that looks and smells delicious. As you can imagine, we don’t eat out all that much. Even on vacation we have tried to keep eating out at a minimum to help ease that feeling of being left out at the table. So, I’m sure you can imagine what a landmark event our first ever restaurant meal where all six of us were in attendance and were all able to eat was destined to be. We have been planning this meal ever since Matthew’s successful outing to Tsunami in October, and honestly, I think this was the most important event of this holiday season for all of us.

We started off our day with a trip to the temple. Over the past year, it has kind of become our routine to try to schedule a temple trip when Daniel and Nathan are home for a few days. It has been so nice to be able to attend together and it something I suspect we will continue to do. After lunch we drove downtown to take our yearly family pictures. With two kids away at school, scheduling a photo op for all of us has been a challenge. We had originally planned to drive to Logan in October, but work and marching band foiled that plan. We tried again over Thanksgiving weekend, but once again work schedules were tricky to navigate. Everyone has days off work and school this week, so we took advantage of the day to snap a few pics. Kevin and I know that the times when we can get all our kids together for a family photo are only going to become more difficult to arrange as time goes by, so this one kind of feels like the end of an era. Moving forward, we plan to take pictures with Matthew and Malia whenever it works for the four of us and invite the older boys to be in attendance if they can. If not, we totally understand. And encourage their continued foray into adulthood. 

Dinner at Tsunami was the culmination of our day of family outings. We all ate sushi, even Matthew who had his own specially prepared allergen free rolls, and Malia, who has gotten a lot braver about trying things and even liked some of the rolls she tried…minus the fish. 😂 We talked, we laughed, we ate way too much, and we had an absolutely amazing time. This was another remarkable first, one we never thought we would have. And hopefully, there will be more meals, and days, like this in the future. I suspect there will be. We all value family time and while we can’t always make it work, that will make the times when we can even more special.

As time goes by, I am becoming ever more aware of just how precious these family times are. Daniel and Nathan have only a few days at home as they both need to get back to work and honestly, my home is not their home anymore. When they are here, they are only visiting. We all know that. And we are all okay with that. I have raised my children to become capable, independent adults, and I’m not going to mourn the fact that my efforts have been successful. I will just enjoy the times when they are here, take advantage of these fleeting moments when we are all together, and continue to support and love them in the ever-changing ways that having adult children brings. Having said that, I do reserve the right to feel just a little bit sad when they leave to return to their home and their lives. It’s a right that twenty-three years of motherhood has earned me. But I won’t wallow in it. I’ll let that bit of sorrow prick my heart, then I’ll jump right back into the continuing task of raising my younger children. I’m not done with this whole mothering gig yet!

Oh, and as a sidenote, apparently Matthew is still the poster child for food allergies. When he was four or five, our allergist mentioned that she had a medical student in the office and asked if he could come in for our appointment. I agreed. When our doc brought the student in, she told him, “This is an example of a highly allergic individual.” That was our first experience with Matthew being the face of food allergies. The manager on shift at Tsunami was the same manager we met last time, and the same manager Kevin talked to on his first Q and A visit when we were trying to find out if Matthew safely eating there was even a possibility. The manager asked Kevin if the owner of the chain had gotten in touch with him yet. He had not, but the manager said that Matthew’s successful visit was used as a refresher course on food allergy protocols for all the locations and that the owner had asked for Kev’s phone number. I have to admit that cooking for someone with so many allergies can be quite daunting and getting it right in a commercial kitchen is a huge accomplishment. As such, I’m perfectly fine with the fact that once again Matthew seems to be the poster child for food allergies!



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