Internal Compass

Not long after Daniel and Nathan got home from school yesterday, I received a phone call from another mom in our ward. It was her turn to drive their carpool and when she was picking the kids up to go home, one little girl (we’ll call her LG-Little Girl-for convenience sake) was a sobbing mess. LG is in our ward an also in Nathan’s class at school. When questioned she said she was shoved down on the playground and she named Nathan and one other boy in their class as being involved. This particular mom knows Nathan and was very skeptical about him being involved in such an event. All the other kids in the carpool were likewise skeptical. Nevertheless, she felt like she should let me know something was going on.

After I was done on the phone, I called Nathan upstairs to see if I could figure out what was going on. When I asked if something had happened with LG, he responded in the affirmative. So I asked him to tell me what happened. He said that the other boy shoved LG and pushed her down. I asked what he was doing and he just shrugged, generally not a good sign when talking to my kids. So I pressed him for more info and he finally told me that he was pretend lunging and shoving. My heart sank. It appeared that while Nathan did not do the actual shoving, he was playing along with the whole thing. I told him that participating in that way was taking part in the bullying. Nathan, ever my tender-hearted kid, started to cry. He stood up and walked to his room and closed the door. I let him go, knowing he probably needed a few minutes to think. And I sat alone, dismayed by the turn of events. It is completely out of character for Nathan to do something like this. He has been on the receiving end of the bullying too many times and I simply could not understand why he decided to participate.

After a bit, I approached Nathan again. He was just sitting on the floor in his room, still crying. I asked him what was going on in his head and he told me he was sorry he had made a bad choice. So I asked him what he needed to do and he said he needed to apologize to LG. I looked up the phone number and he called and left a message when no one answered.

About an hour and a half later, the phone rang. Nathan answered the phone, walked into his room and talked for a few minutes. Than he brought me the phone and said that LG’s dad wanted to talk to me. I took a big breath and took the phone, sure I was about to get a very serious talking to. But I could not have been more wrong. Instead, LG’s dad said, “I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am that Nathan stood up for LG today.” There was a long moment of perplexed silence from me and then I told him that apparently I had no idea what was going on. So he told me that LG had told him that she, Nathan and the other boy had been playing together, all pretending to lunge and push. LG was just fine with all that. Then the other boy shoved her and pushed her down. At that point, Nathan said, “That’s going too far. We need to stop. You don’t hit girls.”

LG’s dad probably thinks I’m a total freak because that is when I started to cry and through the tears I managed to convey the fact that Nathan had not told me that part. We completed our conversation and I handed the phone back to Nathan because LG wanted to thank him as well. When he was finished on the phone, I pulled him aside. I told him exactly what LG’s dad had told me and he said, “Oh, yeah. I forgot that part.”

Not only did he do the right thing in a tough situation, but it was so second nature to him that it didn’t even stand out as an event to be remembered. I could not possibly be prouder of him. I apologized for misunderstanding what and happened and told him how proud I was. His countenance immediately brightened and my heart lightened with relief and joy.

I worry about the things my kids face when they walk out my door. It seems to me that they are being bombarded by temptation and filth in ever increasing amounts. But this is one kid that is going to be just fine. His moral compass is strong and firmly pointed in the right direction. I worry a little bit less knowing that.

Journal Jar #3-If You Could Have Lunch With 3 People (Dead or Alive), Who Would They Be?

In spite of the fact that this is a completely fictional question, it has actually taken me awhile to narrow my list down to three people. If I could have lunch with someone once a week for a year, that would probably be about right for all the folks I considered. For those of you who know me well, you may feel like I’ve missed some pretty obvious choices. But know that there were about a dozen runners up.

1. As a student, I was never all that interested in history. All the dates and such bored me nearly to death. I was always intrigued when I could get a glimpse into the lives of the actual people, but most often history classes were concerned with dates, causes and effects, etc. and so I was bored. The exception to that was always Harriet Tubman. I was completely intrigued by her story, even in elementary school. I think she would have amazing tales to tell and I’ve always thought she must have been an amazing woman to put her own life in danger on numerous occasions to help others.

2. I’m an avid reader. If I’m not in the midst of a book that has completely caught my attention, I always feel a little off. So I knew that one of the people I would break bread with need to be an author. But which one? As I pondered that question, it occurred to me that off all the books I’ve read and loved, there is one author that I’ve read more often than any other: L.M. Montgomery. I read “Anne of Green Gables” for the first time when I was twelve. I received all eight books in the series for Christmas that year and over the years they have been read and reread more times than I can count. Once I made my way through the Anne series, I started reading as many of L.M. Montgomery’s books as I could find. “Emily of New Moon” and “Kilmeny of the Orchard” became other favorites. When I was in college, I would often pop into the bookstore when I was particularly stressed or overwhelmed and pick up a book by L.M. Montgomery. By then I had read most of them, but still only owned “Anne” and “Emily.” Since paperbacks were only $3 back then, it was a supportable habit, even for a poor college student. I had a L.M. Montgomery paperback in the front pocket of my school back for almost the entire five and a half years it took me to graduate. The only time I did not was when “Gone with the Wind” was my flavor of the day. Being able to tell L.M. Montgomery that she brought to my harried life a bit of peace, calm and a whisper of a time that was slower and somehow sweeter would be nice.

3. With a historical figure and an author already on my list, I figured I should choose an entertainer of some sort. This was actually a hard choice because there are so many to choose from! But I finally narrowed it down and chose Joss Whedon. For those who don’t know, he is the creator of such t.v. shows as “Buffy the Vampire” and “Firefly.” He has written screenplays for films like “Toy Story” and “The Avengers.” He has a talent for balancing the action and drama of a moment with witty one liners or humorous quips. I think a conversation with him would just be highly entertaining and probably pretty darn funny. And who doesn’t need a good laugh? I know I can always use a good guffaw.

So there it is. My very seriously pared down list of folks to chat with over fried chicken and biscuits, chicken salad and ice cream, or hot dogs.

Doll vs. Action Figure: What is the Difference?

Girls have dolls. Boys have action figures. That is the way it should be, right? Dolls are a pretty new thing at our house and as I’ve watched my children play over the past few months, I’ve really wondered what, besides the label, is the difference between the two. So after a not-so-scientific study, here is what I’ve discovered:

-The countenance of a doll is pleasant, smiling and happy to see you. Action figures have a stern, no nonsense look on their faces.

-Dolls are made to cuddle and love while action figures’ muscle bound bodies don’t inspire much sweet talk.

-Dolls can walk, talk, eat, pee, cry and giggle. Action figures can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Although, to be honest, I think Barbie could leap a tall building if she wanted to but she would probably break her itty bitty ankles when she came down on the other side.

-Dolls frequently suck their thumbs or take a bottle. Action figures never do because let’s face it: a thumb sucking superhero is really just a wussy man.

-Dolls frequently have more than one outfit and in the case of Barbie, more than one million outfits. Action figures have a one-outfit-for-any-occasion outlook on life.

-I’ve never seen a doll that came packaged with her arch-nemesis…or a variety of weapons. But action figures never have real eyelashes or eyes that open and close.

So there are definitely differences, but in spite of the cosmetic discrepancies, what really is the difference between dolls and action figures? In my opinion, not a thing. They are both roughly human shaped (I say roughly because there is no way Barbie could actually totter around on those teeny tiny feet without toppling over) toys that inspire creative play in children everywhere. And where Malia is concerned, Batman, Superman and Ironman get just as much play time as Baby, which is what she calls her baby doll. (In fact, she had a full blown temper tantrum last night when we took Buzz Lightyear away because he kept talking during family scripture study.) And I’m perfectly okay with that. She will learn to nurture and love as well as be strong and courageous. I think every kid in the world could use some of both.

Malia's face looks funny because she is hollering, "Uh-man!" at the top of her lungs.

I Think This Might Be One of My New Favorite Pictures

Today in a Nutshell

Got up and cleaned the bathroom. Got everyone up, dressed, fed and sent the boys to school. Did some exercise. Picked up Matthew from school. Ate and cleaned up lunch. Snuck in 30 minutes of quilting. Put Malia down for a nap and closed my eyes for 30 minutes. Got Malia up, picked up Daniel and Nathan from school, and dropped Daniel and Matthew off at home. Drove Nathan to the dentist. Sat and waited for nearly half an hour because they were running late. Spent ten minutes hanging around while Nathan got his stuff done. Changed Malia’s diaper in the back of the car with Nathan holding an umbrella over us because the bathroom at the dentist had no changing table. Got in the car to drive home. Got rear ended while sitting at a red light. Spent 45 minutes standing in the pouring rain getting info exchanged, pictures taken, phone calls made, etc. Spent nearly an hour driving home through horrendous rush hour traffic. Arrived home at nearly 7:00 p.m. Ate dinner. Called the insurance company and spent thirty minutes on the phone with them. Showered and it’s time for bed.

I’ve had nicer days. This one was super crazy. On the upside, I didn’t have to make dinner. Kev brought home pizza. :-)

In other news, Malia says “ipod.” Clear as day. Kid you not. And she knows how to run it. Talk about a techno-baby.

She’s Growing Up in a House Full of Boys

Malia’s newest language acquisitions include “uh-man” meaning Ironman and “saber” as in lightsaber. Yesterday she toddled around the front yard with Matthew picking up dried worms from the sidewalk. On the other hand, she still loves her babies and bows. I must conclude that she is going to end up being a well-rounded child with a variety of interests. And there is no bad in that. :-)

 Spending some quality time with Ironman.

Malia looooooves this super girly hat. It was a gift from my sister, Patti.

One Free Sheet of Stickers in the Mail=A Fabulous Way to Keep a Toddler Entertained for a Full Forty-five Minutes