At Long Last!

After sixteen years of waiting, Matthew is finally a legal driver. He got about thirty minutes advance notice for his driving test, which happened on Saturday morning. He was actually in the middle of a rehearsal for the musical but told them he was skipping out for a while to take his test. Skipping out on something like that is definitely not his style, which tells you how important getting his license is to him! Once the test was successfully completed, all he had to do was go to the DLD and do the final paperwork. An appointment was scheduled for first thing yesterday morning with the knowledge that he would miss most of his first class of the day, but unfortunately, Matthew got sick and spent the morning in the instacare getting hooked up to an IV to get rehydrated and pumped full of antinausea meds instead. But this afternoon, with the worst of the illness behind him, he was off to become a legal driver. And then he did his first ever solo drive on the snowiest, most slippery roads we’ve had in quite a while. There is so much snow that today was a snow day/virtual learning day for both Matthew and Malia. But he’s legal! And gleeful about it!

Holy Cow! He’s Sixteen!

Matthew has wanted to drive since pretty much ever. Seriously. Let me present several quotes from long ago that support that theory. 

“After I learn to go potty, then I’ll learn to drive.” -Matthew, age 3 ½

“When I get five, I will be bigger so I can buy keys and drive the car!!” -Matthew, age 3 ¾ 

He got his first remote control car when he was two years old, and he has never looked back. Since then, he has had many RC cars, many iterations of Lightning McQueen, many hot wheels, many sets of keys, many video games that focused on driving, etc. Pretty much if it had wheels and a steering wheel, he loved it. 

Matthew’s birthday was yesterday, and it was a big one, especially for a boy who longs to drive. Sixteen is the magic number for those anxious to be legal drivers. Matthew got his learner’s permit about five seconds after he turned fifteen. He finished all his required driving hours more than six months ago. He learned everything he needed to know during all those driving hours and as such, taking driver’s ed was just a hoop to jump through rather than an actual educational experience. It has been a lesson in patience for him because driving the range after having spent nearly a year driving on the actual roads was incredibly mind numbing, waiting for the coaches to schedule his road drives was tedious and frustrating, and being unable to get his driver’s license today, which was his plan, was aggravating.  But unfortunately, his driving test still has not been scheduled and he can’t do anything about it but wait some more, so today’s plan was unable to be realized. Needless to say, he is antsy. And feeling incredibly perturbed. And to be honest, Kev and I are a bit antsy as well. As any well-adjusted, highly involved high schooler should be, Matthew is all over the place all the time and Kevin has been the one acting as chauffeur for the past three years. We are all good and ready for Matthew to be able to drive on his own.

Driving frustrations aside, Matthew was not home at all yesterday. He was at the school from 6 a.m. until after 9 p.m. fulfilling a multitude of different responsibilities. He had early morning seminary and then school, an after-school rehearsal for the school musical for which he is on the stage crew, and then a required pep band performance at a basketball game. It was a long, long, looooong day for him. As such, we left a few treats out for him last night and did a tiny bit of celebrating today. Low key was his preference, so we kept it that way. I made his favorite for dinner, stove top lasagne, and then had Chinese almond cookies for dessert. We didn’t sing or anything, but he did humor me by letting me light a candle and take a few pictures. His birthday presents consisted of a big old bag of gummy frogs, a set of 1945 coins that Kev picked up when he was in Philadelphia last year, and a mini rice cooker. He loves gummy candies, especially sour ones, so the frogs were a perfect snack. He enjoys collecting coins and the old ones are cooler, so the 1945 set was neat. And he is our food allergy kid who is going on tour with the band in a couple of months and will need ways to feed himself for multiple days while on the road and away from us, so the mini rice cooker was perfectly practical…and he was actually really excited about it.

By the time Matthew joined our family, Kevin and I had become a bit weighed down by the responsibilities of life. It’s hard trying to juggle being parents of young children with full time work, full-time school, church callings, and financial matters, among other things. We had become far too serious. Then Matthew came along, and while he definitely came with his own set of challenges for us to face, he also came with his very own special brand of humor. Despite being colicky, he was the happiest of my babies. His smile could light up a room and except for his most fussy times, which I now attribute to an unhappy tummy due to allergies we did not yet know he had, he was a joyful little dude. He reminded us that we needed to laugh. And he helped us find that laughter again. Even now, I can look at the posts I wrote when he was small, and it gives me a good chuckle.

Over the years, Matthew has faced a variety of challenges related to his food allergies. Not many kids have to think about the possibility of death every time they eat something, but we had to be frank with him concerning his own mortality at a very young age. Obviously, that created some anxiety and fear, but as he has gotten older, we have tried to help him balance that fear with confidence that he knows how to keep himself safe. And he can most definitely do so. Despite the number of common foods that are unsafe for him, he has never had to use his epipens. Other than his first reaction at five months, he has never been in the ER for a reaction. He has had a few, but they have been mild and easily resolved with some Benadryl. And not one of them has been a result of negligence on his part. He has been careful, so very careful. And with sixteen years of training under his belt, it is time for him to look forward and see his allergies as something that he must plan for, but not something that will hold him back. That has always been my desire for him-that his life never be limited by his inability to eat certain foods. And as he makes plans for the future, he is aiming for the sky…literally. He wants to be a pilot and is already making plans to help him achieve that goal.

I’m so very proud of the person that Matthew is becoming. He has always loved helping other people and that has not changed as he has grown up. He is still willing and happy to serve others in whatever way he can. He feels a great weight of responsibility for those things that fall to him, so much so that sometimes we have to remind him that he can only do his very best and that is good enough. He expects good things from himself and on occasion we also have to remind him that progress is the goal, not perfection. His faith is strong and ever growing and over the past few months, he has begun sharing his faith and beliefs more frequently. I’m enormously grateful for that as he often shares his thoughts, insights, and feelings with Malia, and I think that is helping her faith to grow as well. He is one of the youths that our ward leadership knows can be relied on, and he is an amazing example for all those around him. Oh, and he loves to sing. He was focused on his trumpet for a good long while there, and he still is, always pushing himself and receiving progress in his playing as a result of the effort he puts in, but he has also remembered that he loves to sing. He fills the house with music all the time. Part of the soundtrack of my life has become the soundtrack of Matthew’s life. It was very quiet here for awhile after Nathan moved out and the piano was still much more often than not, but that silence has been filled with the sounds of Matthew’s joyful singing interspersed with trumpet fanfares. And I love it. I’m very grateful for the many ways that Matthew has made my life richer and more joyful. I love this food allergy kid of mine and the way he faces life with faith and courage. 

Sometimes birthdays around here can be long, drawn-out events. But as my kids get older, birthdays have become much more fuss free. We did sort of celebrate Matthew’s birthday at my parents’ house this past Sunday, but again, he didn’t want us to sing or make a fuss so pretty much that consisted of me making a treat that I know he really likes-our favorite dairy free banana cream pie. And that was really it. And honestly, Matthew was happier that way. As much as he likes performing, in real life he doesn’t much like being in the spotlight. He’s like me that way. It may seem like an oxymoron, but I described it once by explaining that when I’m on stage, I’m playing a part. I’m someone else who’s putting on a show. But when the curtain drops, I’m back to being myself, the introverted, bookish, non-attention seeking girl who prefers a quiet evening at home to a night on the town. And Matthew is a bit that way. (Except for the quiet evening at home part. Like any self-respecting high schooler, he’s happiest hanging with his cronies. But I digress.) If you don’t believe me, scroll back through the blog and check out all the pictures I have of him when he was three or four. He is scowling in nearly all of them because he hated having his picture taken. He still dislikes being the focus of the photos, but like I mentioned before, he humored me and let me chronicle this life event with several pictures. And that is yet another reason that I love him.

So happy birthday to my funny, smart, stubborn, opinionated, talented, favorite third son named Matthew. There’s no one else like him!

My Jazzy Valentine

Hard on the heels of Daniel’s jazz night over the weekend was Matthew’s jazz night this evening. The official name of this event was the Valen-tunes Gala, which was Matthew’s idea. He was pleased as punch that the band teacher liked his suggestion enough to use it, and the band teacher was pleased as punch that Matthew had more invited guests than any other band student. It was a fundraiser for much needed band items, so the fact that Matthew had thirteen guests was a big deal. Dinner was served at this event as well, and we were given the best table in the house-all thirteen of us front and center. There were more than 200 people in attendance and Matthew told us they made over $5000 for the band program, so as a fundraiser, it was definitely a success!

As a concert, it was also a success. The high school jazz choir serenaded us as we ate our dinner, and then the band took the stage. The lower-level jazz band was first, followed by the big band, which is the one Matthew is a member of. He is the lead trumpet which means he gets all the super high notes, and he did an amazing job! He has been practicing and has really come a long way these past few months. He has also been able to get a handle on some performance anxiety he was experiencing, and he was back to having a great time. I am so proud of how much work he has put into his playing, for the effort he expends trying to get his section to be their best, and how he just steps in and takes care of whatever needs to be done to make things go smoothly. That’s his stage crew experience creeping in. And, he arranged for one of the tunes they played, the one where Matthew just happens to have a flugle horn solo, to be dedicated to Kevin’s parents, who celebrate their 56th wedding anniversary tomorrow. It was a lovely nod to Valentine’s Day and to the lasting marriage of a couple that we love.

We all had a great time. All of Kev’s family showed up, which is why there were thirteen of us, which was super fun. We obviously don’t see each other enough, because Cory’s family and ours stood in the parking lot chatting for a good long while after the concert was finished. We probably would have talked for longer, but it was cold…and a school night. But Matthew will get his driver’s license soon, and he and his cousins are already making plans for temple trips and get togethers. 

Sometimes it takes a music teacher a while to establish his or her own traditions and such as they come into a new school. I feel like the transition to this year’s new band teacher has gone really well. He has earned a place of respect with the kids and has done some things that I’d like to see continue. This evening’s gala is one of them. I hope they do this again in the coming years. It was an incredibly enjoyable night and a high point for the students. 

My Dancing Valentine

The pace at which we live our lives has changed significantly in the past century, not that I know that by personal experience of course, but I’m fairly well educated and all that, I read a lot, and I have a tendency to listen to my elders when they talk, so I learn things. In our technologically saturated society, easy entertainment is always at our fingertips. But in days gone by, entertainment took more effort, more thought, more planning. Rather than browse Netflix to keep themselves occupied on a Friday night, people would have community dances, singalongs, potluck dinners, quilting bees and any number of other social gatherings. Entertainment was a social event more than a solitary one. But as entertainment has moved into the digital age, a regularly occurring community social gathering seems like it has become an antiquated idea.

On Friday night we got a little glimpse of a bygone era. Daniel is in one of the jazz bands at USU and every year right around Valentine’s Day, they have a gig at Elite Hall in Hyrum. I was under the impression that the event was sponsored by USU, but that was not the case. The USU jazz bands are the invited performers who provide the music for a community dinner and dance. And it really was a community affair. While there was a contingency of college students in attendance, there were also attendees of every age from married couples to aged grandparents. Almost all in attendance were dressed up for the occasion, some even in period appropriate gowns. Dinner was served for those who wanted it, and there were dance lessons an hour before the live music began.

Nathan joined Kevin, Malia and I on Friday and Kevin and Matthew drove back up last night so Matthew could attend. We had some scheduling conflicts and Matthew really wanted to go, so Kev decided spending a load of time in the car was just fine. And it gave Matthew a chance to get a long drive under his belt, which is also a perk for our soon to be legal teenage driver. I think we all really enjoyed the event. We were flies on the wall, as it were, not participating in the dancing, but we had a great time! The music was great, it was fun to see Daniel in his element playing both his sax and his clarinet, and I loved watching all the attendees try out their best dance moves. Nathan commented that it would be a great date night and was pleased to see that they hold dances fairly regularly, one of which is a 1940’s swing night with era appropriate clothing encouraged. Matthew loved the music as well and it made him even more excited for his own jazz night which is happening tomorrow evening. 

With Daniel away at college, we don’t get to attend all his concerts like we did when he was in high school, so it is good when we can actually make it to one in person. Many of them are streamed and we watch them from home, but nothing can compare to live music!

My Tasty Valentine

Holidays call for fun food, and this year I took another stab at pancake Valentine’s. They were cherry chip pancakes this time, with some additional food coloring to make them nice and red. They were super tasty, a bit decadent with the cream cheese or chocolate glaze, so not your everyday kind of breakfast, but just right for a special occasion. Matthew has kind of outgrown the desire to play with his food so he just ate his pancakes plain and Malia’s pancakes were simply happy to be a part of our meal. Mine were the only ones that were really Valentines, but I’m ok with that. In a few more years, I may be making fun pancakes just for me…