All Ducked Up

After all the sweet Halloween treats we’ve had this month, today was the day to go savory! Now that my kids are older, they will eat a larger variety of foods. I’m loving the versatility it brings to the menu, so I took advantage of that and made stuffed pepper Jack-O-Lanterns! We didn’t carve pumpkins this year because neither Matthew nor Malia cared enough to do it, but this allowed me to exercise my carving skills on a teeny tiny scale. I had a great time cooking creating dinner and everyone enjoyed eating the finished product! We also ate brain Jello, a must have around here on All Hallow’s Eve, and some cucumbers and carrots that were all decked out for the holiday. As a side note, if you decide to make veggies with eye holes, buy a steel straw. The disposable plastic ones are much too flimsy to be effective no matter what the internet says! Seriously, the carrots took me far longer to cut than the peppers did! But they turned out super cute in the end!

Now that Malia has hit middle school, Halloween at school is less of an event and more of an afterthought. She decided at the very last minute that she wanted to dress up for school, so she went digging in our box of Halloween costumes and came up with the toddler sized hat from Matthew’s long ago ducky costume. She has a thing for rubber duckies right now, I’m not sure why, but she decided to go with the duck theme. A couple of bobby pins kept the hat in place, and she used hot glue, an old sweatshirt, and a bunch of rubber ducks to complete her ensemble. The ducks didn’t stay on the shirt very well, so she was shedding ducks by day’s end, but it made her happy and she got lots of requests from classmates wanting to adopt a duckie. We did give Malia a one-time only pass to go trick or treating while in middle school. Our rule has been once you hit twelve years you are done begging for candy, but she had plans to roam the neighborhood with a new friend, so we let her go one last time. She didn’t actually come home with all that much candy though. It was more about socializing than getting all hyped up on sugar.

Years ago, when Daniel and Nathan were teenagers, the cousins would all get together and go to the temple and then have a Halloween party. With most of the teens grown past that stage, it is a tradition that has kind of petered out. However, Matthew gathered up a group of friends and they went to the temple. And I love that! I may encourage Malia to join him next year.

Overall, Halloween is a much calmer holiday now that the kids are mostly grown. We had a few trick or treaters, but the neighborhood has grown up just as our kids have and there are fewer and fewer little kids around. But that’s ok. It means we aren’t glued to the front door all evening and can actually do something else. I’ve begun to wonder if I will still want to do the whole fun dinner thing when all my kids have moved out and as of right now, I don’t have an answer. But as my little ones become big ones, I find myself asking these kinds of questions more and more often. But for now, at least, I’ve got half a dozen more years before I have to seriously contemplate being an empty nester!

C is for COOKIE!!

I love cookies. If given a choice between a delicious cookie or a bowl of ice cream, I’m going to choose the cookie. All bets are off if it is a mediocre cookie, but if it is a perfectly baked combination of crisp exterior and chewy interior with the amazing flavor to back up the right texture, I’m going to go for the cookie. Cookies are often at the top of my stress eating list as well, with the baking of said cookies being an important part of the experience. But since I know that about myself, most of the time when I get all stressed and want to bake, I can opt not to which is generally the healthier option. And now that you know a little bit more about me than you probably want to, let me introduce our last Halloween themed treat for this year.

There are three distinct reasons these cookies can claim the moniker “monster.”

Monstrous Quality #1:

A monster cookie is actually a flavor of cookie the same way a snickerdoodle is a flavor of cookie. The traditional monster cookie features peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chips and M&M’s. Our version uses almond butter, oatmeal and three flavors of chocolate chips-dark, semi-sweet and white. It’s our allergen free version of the traditional recipe.

Monstrous Quality #2:

These cookies are massive. Seriously, I’ve never baked a single serve cookie this big before. I’ve made bar cookies, cookie pizzas, and cookie cakes, but I’ve never slapped a baseball-sized chunk of cookie dough on a baking sheet with the intention of it being consumed by one person. 

Monstrous Quality #3:

Eyeballs. And monster-colored sprinkles. Because it can’t be a proper Halloween treat without looking the part. 😉 

Now that we have clarified this particular cookie’s claim to its name, let’s talk about how they taste. They were good, very rich though, and honestly, one cookie could easily feed two people. The outside was crisp, and the inside was just barely baked which made them super yummy. I would make them again. And we most definitely have leftovers. It might take us the rest of the week to finish the batch!

Leftovers Have Never Tasted Better!

With the fear and anxiety of last night’s maiden voyage into the arena of restaurant dining behind him, Matthew ate his leftovers with gusto. He’s not usually a huge fan of leftovers with the exception of a few of his favorite dishes over which he will fight you (or more likely, Malia) to the death, but lunch today found him happily consuming the remains of last night’s Tsunami feast. While enjoying his food, he commented that it was so good and that we will have to go again. And I can tell you right now, that is totally going to happen. 

I’ve Got My Eyes on You! (Version II)

Pancakes! My original fun food medium! It wouldn’t be Halloween without them!

I have an almond poppyseed muffin recipe that uses sour cream (or in our case, fake sour cream). I hadn’t made them for a long while, but at one point last year Malia requested them so I dusted off the recipe and whipped some up. I had forgotten how soft, tender and delicious those little nuggets were and it came as no surprise that thereafter they became one of my family’s most often requested muffin varieties (along with the apple muffins I make that feature loads of shredded apple with just enough batter to hold it all together). After being reminded of the benefits of adding sour cream to quick breads, I went looking for a pancake recipe that incorporated the ingredient. It was a variation that was super easy to find, of course, so I selected a promising one and gave it a whirl. 

With just one sampling, that pancake recipe became my family’s favorite. We eat a lot more pancakes than muffins, especially since the establishment of Pancake Fridays during the Covid shutdown, and this recipe is on the menu more often than any other. As such, it seemed perfectly natural to turn to the greatly loved sour cream pancake recipe when contemplating this year’s Halloween pancake creation. 

Delicious sour cream pancakes were the first perk associated with this morning’s pancake shaped homage to Halloween. The second was the delightful flavor combination of strawberry and kiwi. I’m not always a fan of the artificial versions of this particular duo, but homemade strawberry jam and fresh kiwi are wonderful together! The third perk to this morning’s creations? I got to tell Malia to eat her eyeballs. 😂

Firsts and Reverses

There are a lot of ups and downs with food allergy kids in the family. That may seem strange to you to think about the fact that there are positives to a situation that seems entirely negative, but there are in fact good moments. Often the “firsts” are the things that keep us hopeful about the whole thing. For example, Matthew’s first ever chocolate chip cookie at the age of two when allergen free chocolate chips finally became a thing. His first chocolate coated ice cream bar, dairy free of course. His first school lunch, prepared especially for him by the amazing cafeteria lady at his elementary school. His first coconut whipped cream. His first chocolate candy bar. His first M&M copycat. His first white chocolate chip cookie. His first waffle with eggs in it. His first sunbutter cup (like peanut butter cups but with sunflower seed butter). His first allergen free brownie when I finally figured out how to make them egg free and high altitude. These are the good days, the days when foods are added to his diet, the days when he feels just a little bit more like a normal kid. 

Of course, the flip side is the reverses. The loss of the chocolate coated ice cream bars as part of the loss of Matthew’s favorite brand of non-dairy ice cream when they added pea protein to the entire line. The loss of peas themselves, which he liked, before he became allergic to them. The loss of the M&M copycat when chickpea cross contact became an issue. The loss of the egg waffles after having some intense and unpleasant reactions a few hours after eating. (We’re still trying to figure that one out. His testing showed nothing has changed egg wise and we are back to waffles with just the egg yolks instead of the whole egg.) The loss of the Western Family brand of fudge stripe cookies when they added milk back to the recipe. And of course, the loss of the normalcy of being able to eat out with family and friends, take a date out to dinner, etc. Malia has had many losses as well such as the loss of her favorite chicken noodle soup when she could no longer safely  eat at Kneader’s. The loss of Panda Express as an option for her. The loss of Carl’s Jr., her favorite restaurant, when they added a vegan meat option that had so much pea protein in it that people with peanut allergies were having reactions. The loss of the freedom to eat cake and ice cream at a birthday party. The loss of the ability to have a bakery made anything, a doughnut shop treat, and many more things we all take for granted as just a normal part of life. And more than anything else, the loss of the ability to eat without stress, to enjoy a meal without wondering if you are going to have a bad reaction, to just eat without having to think about the fact that one bite of the wrong thing can kill you. 

These are the reverses and as you can plainly see, the reverses are more plentiful than the firsts. But in my opinion, that makes the firsts even more important. Like I said before, the firsts are the things that keep up hopeful, that help us continue to move forward.

This evening we had a first. And it was a big one. A few months back, we went out to eat at Tsunami, one of our favorite sushi places. It is a completely nut free establishment which is an added perk to the fabulous food because it means Malia can eat safely. Matthew had his own food, of course, and we mentioned his severe allergies to the server like we always do. Our server that evening said that she was sure they could feed Matthew safely even with his long list of dangerous foods. If I remember correctly, she even had a manager come and chat with us for a minute. All that got us thinking that maybe, just maybe, eating out might be a possibility for Matthew. 

As I’m sure you can imagine, the idea of eating in a restaurant is terrifying for Matthew. Having his food prepared by complete strangers in a kitchen that is preparing items that are not safe for him and thus having no control over what goes into his food creates a lot of anxiety. Although Kevin and I were excited about the possibility of him being able to eat with us, we knew it had to be something he was ready to try, so we didn’t push. We figured that if he got to a point where he was ready, we would do the additional research necessary to ensure as safe an experience as possible and leave the timing up to him. 

About a month ago, Matthew told us he wanted to try Tsunami over fall break. He is in the middle of marching band season which means lots of meals away from home during camps and competitions, and I think the tipping point was all those meals with the band and the sense of being different that not being able to participate in a meal with others gives him. On several occasions he came home and commented on how good the meals smelled and how he wished so much that he could just be normal. He was finally ready to try.

 A couple of weeks ago, Kevin headed over to Tsunami during a slow time of day and talked to the manager as well as the regional chef who just happened to be in the restaurant that day. Their discussion reassured all of us that they could, in fact, feed Matthew safely. They would need about 30 minutes to clean a prep area in the kitchen but other than that, they were confident. So, a reservation was made for a day and time that would be a bit slower for them. Copious notes were included in the reservation so the kitchen and serve staff would be ready for us, and they were definitely ready. When we walked in the door this evening, they had a table spotlessly clean and right next to the kitchen door so they could easily ask questions as needed. Our server knew exactly which allergens Matthew needed to avoid and had all the possible substitutions ready for us as Matthew made his selections. Their menu is such that the only allergens of Matthew’s that they have in the kitchen are milk and egg, so that simplified matters. They had already set aside and cleaned a prep area in the kitchen because it was literally only about five minutes after ordering when the first dishes were placed on the table.

Matthew looked terrified, as well he should. To be honest, I was nervous too and had been praying all week that things would go well, that he would not react, that this experience would be a good one and perhaps open a few more doors for him and allow him a chance to feel just a bit more normal. After a couple of deep breaths, he grabbed his chopsticks and picked up the first bite. For most of us, one bite is not a big deal. Eating is something we do every day, without giving it much thought beyond whether or not it tastes good. For Matthew, he takes his own life in his hands every time he eats because just one bite of the wrong thing could kill him. And he knows that. So maybe that will give you an idea of just how much courage and faith that first bite took. It was probably the most terrifying bite he has ever taken. And I cannot express how proud I am of him for having the courage to take it. 

So, Matthew took that first bite and then he paused. Kevin was sitting directly across from him and was constantly reassuring Matthew that he could do this. They locked eyes and Matthew popped that first bite in, chewed and swallowed. Kevin grabbed his hand and held it while we all waited. When Matthew has reacted in the past, he has done so quickly. His allergies are severe enough that within a couple of minutes he knows things have gone awry. So that first bite and the five minutes he sat there afterwards were to see if he was going to react and to give him a chance to get his anxiety under control. Blessedly, he did not react. And once that first hurdle was cleared, the second bite was for flavor. 

I’d be lying if I said that Matthew was completely relaxed for this meal. He was actually really stressed but the food was good, and he did enjoy it. He tried a variety of different things and honestly, we had to kind of keep ourselves under control because there are so many delicious dishes we wanted him to experience but we also didn’t want to overwhelm him. So, we directed him towards a few things that we thought he would like and he did like everything he tried. Honestly, I kind of wondered if he would be disappointed by the quality of the food that we’ve been hyping up ever since we discovered Tsunami, but he was not. 

Our server checked in often to make sure all was going well and was well educated and able to answer all our questions. The manager on duty tonight was the same one Kevin talked to several weeks ago and he stopped by to see how things were going. He was really pleased that he was working when we came in and was pleased as well that things went smoothly. We learned that the owner of Tsunami has a son with a severe peanut allergy which explains why they are peanut free and why, in my opinion, they are well educated in how to make things safe for allergy folks. Sometimes it takes living the life to really understand all the ins and outs. Overall, the staff was amazing. They did everything just right and needless to say, we tipped them accordingly.

We asked Matthew about five million times how he felt, physically and emotionally, and throughout the meal he continued to be reaction free. As we finished up our meal with no adverse effects, we began to spread the news of Matthew’s experience and I think Nathan’s response was my favorite:

Both Daniel and Nathan were surprised and so, so pleased! This is a big event for our little clan and plans are already in the works to visit Tsunami again when both Daniel and Nathan can join us. It will be the first time ever that all six of us will be able to eat a restaurant meal together. And that is huge for us, Matthew especially. 

As we headed home, leftovers in hand, Matthew’s stress level began to come down some. And as the evening wore on with no delayed reaction either, his joy about the experience began to grow. This was a life altering first for him. This means there is someplace he can take a date for dinner. There is now an option for a meal we can all enjoy for special occasions. This is something that might be small and simple for most of us but is a huge step forward for a kid who has never known such normalcy where food is concerned. This is a little bit of hope all wrapped up in what has been an amazing first.

Sittin’ in with the Band

Matthew had a fun opportunity this evening. His band teacher, who is a percussionist, spends Wednesday evenings jamming with the band at a jazz club in Park City. It is really just a bar with live music, but it is one of those situations where whoever happens to show up is welcome to play with the band. His teacher invited Matthew to come play this evening, so Kevin and Matthew drove up the canyon to check things out. Matthew had a grand time. Not only did he get to jump in and sightread a bunch of tunes from the jazz charts, which provide a melody and chords and leave the rest up to the musicians, but he got some serious encouragement and some great tips from another of the players, who happens to be the band teacher at another high school and whose main instrument is trumpet. Matthew has been craving some of those finer tips and has been trying to find a private teacher to get some of them, so it was a highlight for him. Matthew had a great time and has already expressed interest in going again.

Sweet Ribs

Most of my Halloween food creations lean towards the cute side of spooky. But every once in a while, something a little more gruesome strikes my fancy. I think the bleeding intestine cinnamon rolls win the award in this category, but today’s treat was also a bit more Sweeney-ish. Malia’s favorite kind of pie is cherry, and I have a sweet cherry pie recipe that we all enjoy. A simple change of shape and some creative latticework turned our cherry flavored dessert into a tasty rib cage pie. Traditional sour cherries would have yielded a bloodier creation, but as always, I’m not willing to sacrifice flavor for form. My creations need to taste just as good as they look! And we really like the sweet cherry pie. So perhaps it could have looked a little more grisly, but it was still appropriately Halloweeny!

We’re Going on a Witch Hunt

It’s fall break and for once, the break in our school district coincides with the one in Rachael’s district. That meant a cousins’ outing was in order and today was the appointed day! We decided to meet at Gardner Village where we could wander and enjoy the Halloween ambience for free and then to have lunch at my parents’ house. Rachael, Sabrina (and a couple of her friends), Kate, Sam, Patti, Ella, and Esther met up with Malia and I for a morning of witch hunting. I’m not talking Salem style witch hunt though. It was like a scavenger hunt but witch themed. The kids were being silly, as well they should, and we had a grand time. As all the cousins get older, it seems like there are fewer and fewer of these days spent together. I guess that means we had better sneak them in whenever we can!

The Eensie Sweetie Spider

I hate spiders. And when I say hate, I mean really, really hate them. I grew up in a basement bedroom and there were spiders galore, but that is not where the hate originated. As a kid, they didn’t bother me all that much. But when I was in high school, I went to see a movie with some friends. I didn’t ask what movie we were seeing as I was focused more on the social aspects of the evening and didn’t really care what the movie was. I knew my friends’ standards were the same as mine and that we wouldn’t end up in some kind of an X-rated porno film. That is how I ended up sitting through “Arachnophobia” at our local dollar theater. Having grown up in the previously mentioned spider infested basement meant I didn’t have too many concerns at the get-go, but what I did not know was that the movie contained a scene where a spider crawled right into a guy’s ear and then proceeded to eat his brain or whatever super creepy death spiders do inside your head. And I have serious problems with stuff crawling inside my ears. That particular phobia started with the original “Wrath of Khan” movie, one that I still can’t watch. That movie led to a lifelong abhorrence of earwigs and watching a spider pull a Khan maneuver just totally messed me up. 

Let me illustrate by telling you several stories. After I graduated from college, I moved back into my parents’ house for a time. One of those basement bedrooms became my domain and it still contained a large spider population. One night I came home and found a huge spider on the wall in my room. And when I say huge, I mean humongous. Yes, I know Utah spiders aren’t really all that big, but to someone with a serious aversion to the creepy crawlers, it was gargantuan. I knew I had to kill the thing or I would lie awake all night worried that it was about to crawl in my ear, but killing spiders was also super high up on my ick scale. I can’t just grab a Kleenex and squish them like a normal person because you can feel them squish and that is disgusting. So, I went looking for a weapon. A shoe with a big chunky heel seemed just the ticket, but I knew that if I used one of my shoes as a spider killer, I would always know there had been spider guts on the shoe and would get the heebie jeebies every time I wore it. Yes, I know I’m neurotic, but it was an honest concern because I know how my brain works. My sister Rachael was not home at the time, and I knew she had a pair of chunky heels identical to my own, so I slipped over to her bedroom which was conveniently located right next to mine and borrowed a shoe. I used Rachael’s shoe to aggressively smash that eight-legged beast and it was so big that I heard it pop. Loud. Eww. And double eww. It seriously made my skin crawl. When the task was completed and the shoe cleaned and returned, I was able to sleep. I didn’t tell Rachael about the whole thing for at least a decade. Luckily for me, she was amused when she finally found out. And she asked which shoe I had used. 😂

Once Kevin and I got married, he became my built-in spider killer. If I discovered a spider in our apartment when he wasn’t home, I would just put a cup over the top of it so that I would know it couldn’t crawl away and slip into my ear at some point. One time I covered a spider with a cup and by the time Kevin came home, the spider was gone. After that, the cup was the first line of defense and a book on top of the cup to weigh it down so the spider couldn’t slip out due to the pile of the carpet became my standard tagging method. I suspect that you are either rolling your eyes or laughing your heads off at my insanity at this point, but it was seriously a mental health issue. Once located, I really couldn’t just release a spider back into the wilds of my living room. Nowadays I just grab the vacuum cleaner and suck the little creepers up, but that had not occurred to me at that point.

Now that you know the origin and extent of my spider loathing, you might ask why I would make a spider themed treat. Honestly? I was looking for a Halloween themed excuse to try a new cookie cake recipe. A simple spiderweb on a round dessert was just the ticket. And maybe eating a spider made of Skittles felt like a little bit of revenge for years of spider induced shivers. Who knows. 😉 Either way, this oatmeal raisin cookie cake with a cinnamon royal icing web was another winner. It was thick and chewy and delicious. Seriously, if you haven’t tried a cookie cake yet, you should give it a try. It just might change your cookie eating habits. 

Haute Halloween Cuisine

I think I must have trained Daniel and Nathan well because this evening they created their own little Halloweenie treat by making dirt cups. I don’t know if they were specifically thinking about Halloween, but it is October so it works! I do love that their dirt cups are much posher than the ones we ate at my primary activity on Tuesday as they were served in stemware rather than disposable plastic cups. 😂

I’ve Got My Eyes on You!

Long time readers know that eyeballs are an inside joke around here. As such, when I see something eyeball themed, I just have to give it a try! This particular eyeball is a mini cookie cup which was originally made of a peanut butter cookie with a white chocolate mini peanut butter cup and an M&M. Pretty much all those things will kill 50% of my children, so I definitely tweaked the recipe to make it my own. I made a dairy and egg free almond butter cookie base. Mini sunbutter cups made a great filling but they don’t come in white, so I smoothed a thin layer of dairy free melted white chocolate on top of each before adding a Skittle. A food coloring marker provided the last details, and they were ready to eat. They turned out fantastic! Seriously, I ate way too many eyeballs…

Successful Saucing

Yesterday was applesauce day. Ever since I was introduced to homemade applesauce when I married Kevin, I have really had trouble with the watery, weak applesauce you can get at the store. For me and all my kids, applesauce should be thick. Having said that, there does come a point when it is too thick. For instance, one litmus test for thickness is sticking a wooden spoon straight up in the bowl. If it just hangs out there forever, the sauce is probably a little too thick. 😂

Once I got the sauce the appropriate consistency, we ended up with 57 pints, and all but 2 jars sealed. That’s a successful day!

It Was a Graveyard Smash!

 As October approaches each year, I start trolling the internet for new fun food ideas. There are always more themed treats than I can cover in a month of FHE treats, but part of the fun is deciding which ones to include in this year’s assortment. Ever since I found an egg free high altitude brownie recipe that actually works, I like to do something with brownies in October. Part of that is because I have a not Matthew friendly white chocolate brownie recipe that I really love, and it gives me an excuse to make them for myself while still providing him with a similar treat. Another part is because there seem to be so many cute ideas for gussying up brownies!

This year’s brownie art is a classic graveyard scene. I saw a multitude of different versions of these, so I took all my favorite ideas, ditching the ones that aren’t safe for my kids (like those little candy pumpkins-Matthew and Malia can never eat those), and came up with a design I am super happy with. I even bought a special chocolate mold so I could make tiny white chocolate bones. That part was so fun!

Stay tuned for more creepy cuisine! There are five Mondays this month which means I get to choose and create a bonus creepy treat!