Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
In an attempt to lift spirits and help the kids feel like they are still connected while they are all doing school from home, this morning the principal from Malia’s elementary school sent out an opportunity to be a part of the school community. We awoke to snow and he invited all the kids to make a snowman, email him a picture, and all the pictures would be featured on the school website. Malia loved the idea and during her morning “recess,” she created a snowman in our front yard. She called him Bob. And she loved seeing Bob and herself in the snowman slide show. 😊
A Multitude of Tender Mercies
Do you ever have days when the weight of the world seems just a little bit heavier? When you can’t seem to cope as well as normal? When the light of the Savior seems just a little bit more distant? When the adversary is working extra hard to influence you? Around here, we call those dark days. Yesterday was a dark day for me, the first I’ve had in the midst of this whole Coronavirus crisis. In fact, it’s the first I’ve had in a really long time. It made for a rough day, especially because I didn’t recognize it for what is was until late in the day. And from the perspective that I have now, I don’t think it was accidental. I think it was an attempt to muddle my mind and spirit as much as possible on a day when there was an important decision to be made.
Yesterday afternoon, amidst my funk, Daniel’s mission president called. What he told me is that the reason we’ve been on such an emotional rollercoaster is because they have been getting different directives every day. I completely understand that. We’ve seen the same trend. Conditions in the world are changing so quickly that the church, and everyone else, is doing all it can to keep up. The mission president told me that he thought they finally had the conclusive word on how it would be determined which missionaries would be going home for health reasons. All missionaries with health conditions, regardless of the severity of their condition, are considered high risk. As such, everyone’s highest priority is to keep them safe and healthy. Then I was told that the decision was in our hands. I told the mission president that Kevin and I would counsel with Daniel, he gave us permission to call Daniel, and left his phone number with me so we could let him know when we had come to a decision. He said there was no hurry.
At that point, I waited for Kevin to finish up a video meeting (having him working from home has been good for my mental health this past week) and then caught him up on what had happened. We reached out to Daniel and my first impression was that his state of mind was enormously better than it had been the day before. His companion had given him a blessing, he had prayed, pondered and studied, and his mind was much clearer. We asked him how he was and basically, he had received his confirmation from the Lord that if he ended up going home, the work he had done, his offering as a missionary, had been enough. With that, he was a bit more at peace concerning the will I stay or will I go situation. We told him about the mission president’s call, and we decided to take some time to pray and consider and talk again a few hours later. Kevin counseled Daniel to call the mission president himself and seek his guidance on the matter.
Daniel did call the mission president and then called us back only a few minutes later. Although we had been told there was no rush, realistically, the president needed a decision by noon the following day. That kind of ramped up our stress level because suddenly, we had a time limit. We left Daniel to think and pray and went to talk to our other kids. We explained the situation and asked for their help as we sought to find the right answer. After some prayer and a priesthood blessing to help me clear my mind and get out from under the darkness that I was feeling, Kevin and I stepped into our room to discuss our impressions. The thing that had come clearly to my mind was the first bullet point of our family motto. (Yes, we have a family motto. How that came to be is a whole different story however, so I’ll save it for another day.) It says we “follow the prophets.” I knew that was my answer because although the decision had been placed in our hands, the prophet had asked that any missionaries with health conditions be sent home regardless of the severity. Kevin’s answer came in the form of the fact that in his mind’s eye, he could not see Daniel in Oregon in the fall. The only place he could see Daniel was at school. Just as soon as Kevin had explained his impression, my phone buzzed, and it was a text from Daniel. “Have you had any thoughts?” Don’t try to tell me that is coincidental. The Spirit obviously works over great distances. We asked if he did and he responded in the affirmative but told us he wasn’t ready to talk yet but was just curious.
A few hours later, as we neared the appointed time to talk with Daniel and after the other kids had gone to bed, Matthew crept out of bed and came to tell us that he had woken up and had a feeling that Daniel should come home. We thanked him for sharing his impression and a few minutes later, we linked up with Daniel again. We asked for his impressions first and he told us two things. First, he talked to his mission president and the president said something that got him thinking about obedience to the prophet. The prophet said all those with health concerns should come home. The second thing he shared was that looking forward, he couldn’t see himself as a missionary anymore. His conclusion was that he felt he should come home. He felt fulfilled as a missionary. Kevin and I then shared our impressions and we confirmed the suspicion that the promptings we had all been given had occurred at pretty much the same time. At that point, the decision was pretty much made, but this was a big decision, so we opted to sleep on it, pray a bit more, give ourselves a few hours to ruminate, and talk again the next day.
Earlier today, as we were getting ready to talk to Daniel once more, I asked Nathan if he had any thoughts concerning the matter. He told me that he really felt fine with Daniel either staying in Oregon or coming home. He then went on to say that while he didn’t see Daniel’s asthma as really being serious, if the prophets said that all those who had health issues should come home, shouldn’t we follow the prophet? I almost laughed out loud at that point. The Lord has most definitely heard our prayers and we had all been given the insights we needed.
When Kevin and I spoke to Daniel again, we all confirmed that our thoughts had not changed overnight. Daniel called the mission president and when he explained the choice that had been made and the reasons why, the president referred him to Official Declaration 1 in the D&C which states the Lord will never let the prophet lead anyone astray. The decision officially made and reported, Daniel called us one last time. There was sadness in his face, and he admitted to feeling sorrow at the thought that his mission will be officially over in just a few short days, but he is also at peace. He has received his personal confirmation from the Lord that not only is this the right choice, but what he has offered in his six months was enough. He says he feels fulfilled as a missionary. He shared an impression he had, and I think it was the turning point from grief at coming homing home early and that calmer disappointment mixed with the knowledge that the Lord has another plan for him. “When people talk about a sacrifice to the Lord, they often mean something that they gave up to serve a mission. I’ve never thought of a mission as something to sacrifice to the Lord until now.”
It took only a few hours to get his travel information. Daniel will return home on April 1. He will need to self-isolate for 14 days, but we had a completely unexpected and gratefully accepted offer from some beloved neighbors to let him spend his two weeks in the mother-in-law apartment in their basement. It has its own entrance as well as its own bathroom and a full kitchen which will make his confinement much more pleasant than it would be in one 8’ ft square bedroom in our house. It will also not put our wonderful neighbors at risk. I don’t know if they fully understand just how much this means to me, but I love them all the more for the great service they are doing for us. They will surely be blessed for their generosity and their willingness to minister.
We have seen many tender mercies in the past few days. The Lord is aware of us and our needs and he gave us all the guidance and discernment we needed to be able to make the right choice. It was a difficult decision, one of those that was between a good thing and a better one when we didn’t know which was which in the Lord’s eyes. It has left me feeling humbled and so grateful for the light and knowledge I have in my life. It has shown me great love and concern he has for each of us. And it has left me feeling so grateful for the spiritual maturity that Daniel has gained in his few short months in the mission field. He hit his six-month mark yesterday. He’s grateful for the time he was given, short as it was. Yes, there is still sadness and disappointment. He only served in one small city. He never got to see any other parts of the mission or any of the wonderful things the state itself has to offer. He never got to teach a family. He never had the opportunity to baptize anyone. But the number of converts does not determine the measure of a missionary and Daniel knows that. As I’ve said before, he has made his peace with the decision. My mama heart is still sad for the experiences he will never have, but that’s for me to take to the Lord. With time, I suspect that will fade. As for the future, Daniel is excited to see what work the Lord has for him next. What an amazing attitude. I love his sense of optimism and his willingness to be where the Lord wants him to be. In short, he knows that he must be about his Father’s business. And he is happy and willing to do so.
Yesterday afternoon, amidst my funk, Daniel’s mission president called. What he told me is that the reason we’ve been on such an emotional rollercoaster is because they have been getting different directives every day. I completely understand that. We’ve seen the same trend. Conditions in the world are changing so quickly that the church, and everyone else, is doing all it can to keep up. The mission president told me that he thought they finally had the conclusive word on how it would be determined which missionaries would be going home for health reasons. All missionaries with health conditions, regardless of the severity of their condition, are considered high risk. As such, everyone’s highest priority is to keep them safe and healthy. Then I was told that the decision was in our hands. I told the mission president that Kevin and I would counsel with Daniel, he gave us permission to call Daniel, and left his phone number with me so we could let him know when we had come to a decision. He said there was no hurry.
At that point, I waited for Kevin to finish up a video meeting (having him working from home has been good for my mental health this past week) and then caught him up on what had happened. We reached out to Daniel and my first impression was that his state of mind was enormously better than it had been the day before. His companion had given him a blessing, he had prayed, pondered and studied, and his mind was much clearer. We asked him how he was and basically, he had received his confirmation from the Lord that if he ended up going home, the work he had done, his offering as a missionary, had been enough. With that, he was a bit more at peace concerning the will I stay or will I go situation. We told him about the mission president’s call, and we decided to take some time to pray and consider and talk again a few hours later. Kevin counseled Daniel to call the mission president himself and seek his guidance on the matter.
Daniel did call the mission president and then called us back only a few minutes later. Although we had been told there was no rush, realistically, the president needed a decision by noon the following day. That kind of ramped up our stress level because suddenly, we had a time limit. We left Daniel to think and pray and went to talk to our other kids. We explained the situation and asked for their help as we sought to find the right answer. After some prayer and a priesthood blessing to help me clear my mind and get out from under the darkness that I was feeling, Kevin and I stepped into our room to discuss our impressions. The thing that had come clearly to my mind was the first bullet point of our family motto. (Yes, we have a family motto. How that came to be is a whole different story however, so I’ll save it for another day.) It says we “follow the prophets.” I knew that was my answer because although the decision had been placed in our hands, the prophet had asked that any missionaries with health conditions be sent home regardless of the severity. Kevin’s answer came in the form of the fact that in his mind’s eye, he could not see Daniel in Oregon in the fall. The only place he could see Daniel was at school. Just as soon as Kevin had explained his impression, my phone buzzed, and it was a text from Daniel. “Have you had any thoughts?” Don’t try to tell me that is coincidental. The Spirit obviously works over great distances. We asked if he did and he responded in the affirmative but told us he wasn’t ready to talk yet but was just curious.
A few hours later, as we neared the appointed time to talk with Daniel and after the other kids had gone to bed, Matthew crept out of bed and came to tell us that he had woken up and had a feeling that Daniel should come home. We thanked him for sharing his impression and a few minutes later, we linked up with Daniel again. We asked for his impressions first and he told us two things. First, he talked to his mission president and the president said something that got him thinking about obedience to the prophet. The prophet said all those with health concerns should come home. The second thing he shared was that looking forward, he couldn’t see himself as a missionary anymore. His conclusion was that he felt he should come home. He felt fulfilled as a missionary. Kevin and I then shared our impressions and we confirmed the suspicion that the promptings we had all been given had occurred at pretty much the same time. At that point, the decision was pretty much made, but this was a big decision, so we opted to sleep on it, pray a bit more, give ourselves a few hours to ruminate, and talk again the next day.
Earlier today, as we were getting ready to talk to Daniel once more, I asked Nathan if he had any thoughts concerning the matter. He told me that he really felt fine with Daniel either staying in Oregon or coming home. He then went on to say that while he didn’t see Daniel’s asthma as really being serious, if the prophets said that all those who had health issues should come home, shouldn’t we follow the prophet? I almost laughed out loud at that point. The Lord has most definitely heard our prayers and we had all been given the insights we needed.
When Kevin and I spoke to Daniel again, we all confirmed that our thoughts had not changed overnight. Daniel called the mission president and when he explained the choice that had been made and the reasons why, the president referred him to Official Declaration 1 in the D&C which states the Lord will never let the prophet lead anyone astray. The decision officially made and reported, Daniel called us one last time. There was sadness in his face, and he admitted to feeling sorrow at the thought that his mission will be officially over in just a few short days, but he is also at peace. He has received his personal confirmation from the Lord that not only is this the right choice, but what he has offered in his six months was enough. He says he feels fulfilled as a missionary. He shared an impression he had, and I think it was the turning point from grief at coming homing home early and that calmer disappointment mixed with the knowledge that the Lord has another plan for him. “When people talk about a sacrifice to the Lord, they often mean something that they gave up to serve a mission. I’ve never thought of a mission as something to sacrifice to the Lord until now.”
It took only a few hours to get his travel information. Daniel will return home on April 1. He will need to self-isolate for 14 days, but we had a completely unexpected and gratefully accepted offer from some beloved neighbors to let him spend his two weeks in the mother-in-law apartment in their basement. It has its own entrance as well as its own bathroom and a full kitchen which will make his confinement much more pleasant than it would be in one 8’ ft square bedroom in our house. It will also not put our wonderful neighbors at risk. I don’t know if they fully understand just how much this means to me, but I love them all the more for the great service they are doing for us. They will surely be blessed for their generosity and their willingness to minister.
We have seen many tender mercies in the past few days. The Lord is aware of us and our needs and he gave us all the guidance and discernment we needed to be able to make the right choice. It was a difficult decision, one of those that was between a good thing and a better one when we didn’t know which was which in the Lord’s eyes. It has left me feeling humbled and so grateful for the light and knowledge I have in my life. It has shown me great love and concern he has for each of us. And it has left me feeling so grateful for the spiritual maturity that Daniel has gained in his few short months in the mission field. He hit his six-month mark yesterday. He’s grateful for the time he was given, short as it was. Yes, there is still sadness and disappointment. He only served in one small city. He never got to see any other parts of the mission or any of the wonderful things the state itself has to offer. He never got to teach a family. He never had the opportunity to baptize anyone. But the number of converts does not determine the measure of a missionary and Daniel knows that. As I’ve said before, he has made his peace with the decision. My mama heart is still sad for the experiences he will never have, but that’s for me to take to the Lord. With time, I suspect that will fade. As for the future, Daniel is excited to see what work the Lord has for him next. What an amazing attitude. I love his sense of optimism and his willingness to be where the Lord wants him to be. In short, he knows that he must be about his Father’s business. And he is happy and willing to do so.
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Comic Relief
If there was ever a day when I needed a good laugh, it was today. The Lord accommodated that need by sending me a clever girl child who happily shares her view of the world with us. This evening we were reading Words of Mormon for our family scripture study. Malia read the first two verses and then the following conversation occurred:
Kevin asks: “Who is writing?”
Malia replies: “Mormon.”
Kevin, looking for more info: “Which Mormon?”
Malia exclaims: “I don’t know his first name!”
Kevin laughed long and hard. I chuckled, which is about all I could manage this evening, but it helped. Thank goodness we were given children that fill our lives with mirth. It is a blessing.
Kevin asks: “Who is writing?”
Malia replies: “Mormon.”
Kevin, looking for more info: “Which Mormon?”
Malia exclaims: “I don’t know his first name!”
Kevin laughed long and hard. I chuckled, which is about all I could manage this evening, but it helped. Thank goodness we were given children that fill our lives with mirth. It is a blessing.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Coronavirus Rollercoaster
Do you ever have the feeling that you just want life to stop for a minute so you can take a deep breath, calm down and collect your thoughts before you have to get back on the ride? I have felt like that repeatedly over the past week and a half. Has it really only been a week and a half? It feels like eons longer than that. So much has happened in such a short time period that sometimes it doesn’t feel like any of it is real. And then I go shopping to find yet another completely empty toilet paper aisle and reality comes crashing back in.
Emotionally this has been a tough ride for every member of my family, but none more than Daniel. With the church sending more missionaries home every day and guidelines being constantly updated, changed and clarified, this is an extremely difficult time to be a missionary. Last week his first health review occurred and just three days ago he was told that he would get to stay in Oregon, for now at least. With updated guidelines being sent last night, he is in back under consideration to be sent home for health reasons. Basically, any missionaries who have had any symptoms or needed any treatment related to their condition in the past five years are slated to go home. Daniel got that phone call from the mission president’s wife late this afternoon. It is not certain yet, the mission president and his wife are praying about it, but Daniel was told to call home and counsel with his parents, which he did, and as much as we all want him to be able to stay, we are all willing to submit to the Lord’s will. The guidelines also state that missionaries sent home for health reasons will be released, not reassigned.
Daniel is grieving. I can see it in his face. He hits his six-month mark tomorrow and he desperately wants to be able to stay. He has so much more he wants to learn and experience. He has so much more he wants to offer. He feels like he’s just barely figured out how to be a missionary and now, it will likely come to an end. However, he is a different person than he was when we dropped him off at the MTC last September. He has truly become converted to the Lord and I hope that he will be able to cling to his faith and remember that in the ultimate end, all will be well. He posted on Facebook a few hours ago and the testimony that he bears give me great hope that he will be able to endure this great disappointment and allow it to help him learn and grow.
The first verse of the hymn “Lead, Kindly Light” has been in my mind often this past week, particularly the last two lines.
Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me
Sometimes it can be a challenge to take that one step that you can see. It requires great faith to walk along a darkened path. We are all walking that path right now. None of us knows what is ahead. But pray for all those missionaries, and there are many, whose plans have suddenly shifted, who are returning home much sooner than planned, who are devastated that they will not be able to serve longer, who’s paths have suddenly turned dark. They need as many of us as possible to sit down beside them on the emotional rollercoaster, help them get through the dark tunnel, and step back out into the light.
(This is Daniel's latest Facebook post)
Hello folks!
These past weeks have been really stressful, hasn't they? Between the developments in COVID-19 and the chaos it has caused, the world seems to be quickly falling apart.
As the situation has developed over the past weeks, a scripture and a picture have come to mind repeatedly. In the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, it says, "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." (Mosiah 4:9) This scripture reminds me every time I read it that God is in control at all times. Never will the events in the world surpass God's ability to stop them. God can command the universe to do His will, and the universe will obey. Because of that truth, this picture has taken on deeper meaning for me over the past weeks as well. It serves as a reminder that Christ has infinite power over the Cosmos and nothing can happen save it be God's will. We may not understand why God has allowed the world to be as it is, but I testify that God has a reason. There is a purpose behind all that God allows to happen on Earth. As current events continue to unfold, I invite you all to remember that God knows what he is doing. Christ has power over everything. Because of that, there is no reason to fear the future. Whatever happens is the will of God, and it is our job to trust in God and his infinite power. Trust God, folks, and everything will work out!
Emotionally this has been a tough ride for every member of my family, but none more than Daniel. With the church sending more missionaries home every day and guidelines being constantly updated, changed and clarified, this is an extremely difficult time to be a missionary. Last week his first health review occurred and just three days ago he was told that he would get to stay in Oregon, for now at least. With updated guidelines being sent last night, he is in back under consideration to be sent home for health reasons. Basically, any missionaries who have had any symptoms or needed any treatment related to their condition in the past five years are slated to go home. Daniel got that phone call from the mission president’s wife late this afternoon. It is not certain yet, the mission president and his wife are praying about it, but Daniel was told to call home and counsel with his parents, which he did, and as much as we all want him to be able to stay, we are all willing to submit to the Lord’s will. The guidelines also state that missionaries sent home for health reasons will be released, not reassigned.
Daniel is grieving. I can see it in his face. He hits his six-month mark tomorrow and he desperately wants to be able to stay. He has so much more he wants to learn and experience. He has so much more he wants to offer. He feels like he’s just barely figured out how to be a missionary and now, it will likely come to an end. However, he is a different person than he was when we dropped him off at the MTC last September. He has truly become converted to the Lord and I hope that he will be able to cling to his faith and remember that in the ultimate end, all will be well. He posted on Facebook a few hours ago and the testimony that he bears give me great hope that he will be able to endure this great disappointment and allow it to help him learn and grow.
The first verse of the hymn “Lead, Kindly Light” has been in my mind often this past week, particularly the last two lines.
Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me
Sometimes it can be a challenge to take that one step that you can see. It requires great faith to walk along a darkened path. We are all walking that path right now. None of us knows what is ahead. But pray for all those missionaries, and there are many, whose plans have suddenly shifted, who are returning home much sooner than planned, who are devastated that they will not be able to serve longer, who’s paths have suddenly turned dark. They need as many of us as possible to sit down beside them on the emotional rollercoaster, help them get through the dark tunnel, and step back out into the light.
(This is Daniel's latest Facebook post)
Hello folks!
These past weeks have been really stressful, hasn't they? Between the developments in COVID-19 and the chaos it has caused, the world seems to be quickly falling apart.
As the situation has developed over the past weeks, a scripture and a picture have come to mind repeatedly. In the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, it says, "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." (Mosiah 4:9) This scripture reminds me every time I read it that God is in control at all times. Never will the events in the world surpass God's ability to stop them. God can command the universe to do His will, and the universe will obey. Because of that truth, this picture has taken on deeper meaning for me over the past weeks as well. It serves as a reminder that Christ has infinite power over the Cosmos and nothing can happen save it be God's will. We may not understand why God has allowed the world to be as it is, but I testify that God has a reason. There is a purpose behind all that God allows to happen on Earth. As current events continue to unfold, I invite you all to remember that God knows what he is doing. Christ has power over everything. Because of that, there is no reason to fear the future. Whatever happens is the will of God, and it is our job to trust in God and his infinite power. Trust God, folks, and everything will work out!
Disappointment
Malia has been off-track, so today was her first real day of online learning. We had everything set up, all her logins ready to go, and knew what was expected of her so I assumed it would be smooth sailing. I was, however, much mistaken. Malia usually loves school, generally learns quickly and is usually one of the first in her class to complete assignments. But that girl was nowhere to be found this morning. Her first two assignments took her nearly four hours to get through and there were tears, stubbornness, refusal to follow directions, etc. It was the kind of response I usually get about cleaning her room, not school. At that point, Kevin, Malia and I had a bit of a Come to Jesus talk about the expectations associated with school at home. And then I looked at her tearstained face and asked what else was going on and she told me that doing her work at home means she can’t talk to her friends. I knew immediately that was the real problem.
The topic of our discussion shifted a bit at that point. We talked about disappointment and how this insane situation means all of us are feeling disappointed because we can’t do things we were looking forward to, things that are normal, etc. Nathan has had tours, festivals, concerts, and most likely a play cancelled. Matthew also has concerts that were cancelled, rehearsals that aren’t happening and a postponed musical. Symphony performances and outings are off and while some things may be rescheduled, I suspect others won’t. Everyone is cut off from friends and colleagues. And as for me, the general conference choir is officially cancelled. While that is in no way unexpected, it is still a disappointment. It is, however, tentatively rescheduled for October and if it happens, I’ll clear my schedule to make sure I can still participate.
Once we had that little pow wow, Malia was able to clear her mind and get back to work. I think things will get a little easier once she has settled into a routine. In fact, I think things will get a little easier for all of us once we can find our new normal. And although it may seem like it right now, this won’t last forever. Eventually it will pass, and we will be able to return to our normal lives. And I hope that with that return to normalcy will come a greater sense of appreciation, an increased amount of gratitude for the many blessings that our lives hold each and every day. Even on the most ordinary of days.
The topic of our discussion shifted a bit at that point. We talked about disappointment and how this insane situation means all of us are feeling disappointed because we can’t do things we were looking forward to, things that are normal, etc. Nathan has had tours, festivals, concerts, and most likely a play cancelled. Matthew also has concerts that were cancelled, rehearsals that aren’t happening and a postponed musical. Symphony performances and outings are off and while some things may be rescheduled, I suspect others won’t. Everyone is cut off from friends and colleagues. And as for me, the general conference choir is officially cancelled. While that is in no way unexpected, it is still a disappointment. It is, however, tentatively rescheduled for October and if it happens, I’ll clear my schedule to make sure I can still participate.
Once we had that little pow wow, Malia was able to clear her mind and get back to work. I think things will get a little easier once she has settled into a routine. In fact, I think things will get a little easier for all of us once we can find our new normal. And although it may seem like it right now, this won’t last forever. Eventually it will pass, and we will be able to return to our normal lives. And I hope that with that return to normalcy will come a greater sense of appreciation, an increased amount of gratitude for the many blessings that our lives hold each and every day. Even on the most ordinary of days.
Monday, March 23, 2020
The Man, The Myth, The Elder
Daniel has informed me that he has become a legend in the mission. Apparently missionaries in other parts of the mission have started asking about the elder with asthma who got to stay. 😂
Sunday, March 22, 2020
The Lord’s Hand
Like many of us, Nathan has had a hard week. Online learning is all good and fine for calculus and U.S. history, but things like choir and ASL don’t work as well digitally and as those classes are the highlights of his days, his current routine is lacking its normal perks. In addition, my very social 16-year-old is physically cut off from his peers. He’s been messaging pretty much non-stop, but nothing can really replace face to face interactions. Even though he doesn’t have any really close friends at school right now and in spite of the fact that he gets extraordinarily tired of all the social drama, the isolation is still tough. He had planned a movie and snack day with a friend for yesterday afternoon, but on Friday evening he discovered that another of his friends had close contact with a confirmed case of COVID-19 and as he started exploring who saw who and when before there were symptoms, he felt like he had better just call it off. As his mother I completely supported that decision, but it was yet another disappointment in a week full of them.
Last night Kevin and I talked with him at length, trying to help him find some focus, some light, some good in his current situation. One of the things that has been helpful to me has been to focus every day on at least one way I can see the Lord’s hand in my life. It reminds me to look for the good and to be grateful for the many blessings I receive each day, even on days that are hard. I mentioned that to Nathan as a way to help him focus on the light rather than the dark and it was one of those days when he really struggled to see it.
One of his extra big stressors this week has been the fact that his best friend, Tate, is currently serving a mission in the Philippines. Earlier this week, it was announced that the Philippines would be closing their borders in response to COVID-19. They gave 72 hours’ notice and immediately the church began to work to get the missionaries out of the country before they couldn’t leave. Nathan had reached out to his friend’s mother, but when he didn’t get any response, he felt like it was not the time to bug her. Smart kid, right? Anyway, not knowing anything about Tate has been very difficult for him. He’s worried. He’s been worried about Daniel all week as well.
Late this afternoon, Nathan opened the Facebook app, which is something he rarely does. He’s more likely to be on Instagram since that is where all his friends are. It just so happened that one of his friends had reposted a picture that has kind of gone viral on Facebook. It was originally posted by a Delta airlines employee. Delta airlines sent six planes and their crews are currently working forty hours straight to get a group of about 1100 missionaries out of the Philippines. That employee posted a picture of a few of the missionaries in one of the planes and of all the planes and all the hundreds of missionaries in each of multiple cabins on every plane, Tate is right in the center of the picture. My first reaction (after tearing up, of course) was to ask Nathan, “Can you see the Lord’s hand in your life?” The answer, of course, was yes. The picture had been posted approximately seven hours before and since it is a fourteen-hour flight, Tate was about halfway home at that time.
The Lord knows our needs. He knows our worries and concerns. He knows how to succor us. He knows that my 16-year old needed to know that his best friend was safe.
So yes, I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in my life today. Have you?
Last night Kevin and I talked with him at length, trying to help him find some focus, some light, some good in his current situation. One of the things that has been helpful to me has been to focus every day on at least one way I can see the Lord’s hand in my life. It reminds me to look for the good and to be grateful for the many blessings I receive each day, even on days that are hard. I mentioned that to Nathan as a way to help him focus on the light rather than the dark and it was one of those days when he really struggled to see it.
One of his extra big stressors this week has been the fact that his best friend, Tate, is currently serving a mission in the Philippines. Earlier this week, it was announced that the Philippines would be closing their borders in response to COVID-19. They gave 72 hours’ notice and immediately the church began to work to get the missionaries out of the country before they couldn’t leave. Nathan had reached out to his friend’s mother, but when he didn’t get any response, he felt like it was not the time to bug her. Smart kid, right? Anyway, not knowing anything about Tate has been very difficult for him. He’s worried. He’s been worried about Daniel all week as well.
Late this afternoon, Nathan opened the Facebook app, which is something he rarely does. He’s more likely to be on Instagram since that is where all his friends are. It just so happened that one of his friends had reposted a picture that has kind of gone viral on Facebook. It was originally posted by a Delta airlines employee. Delta airlines sent six planes and their crews are currently working forty hours straight to get a group of about 1100 missionaries out of the Philippines. That employee posted a picture of a few of the missionaries in one of the planes and of all the planes and all the hundreds of missionaries in each of multiple cabins on every plane, Tate is right in the center of the picture. My first reaction (after tearing up, of course) was to ask Nathan, “Can you see the Lord’s hand in your life?” The answer, of course, was yes. The picture had been posted approximately seven hours before and since it is a fourteen-hour flight, Tate was about halfway home at that time.
The Lord knows our needs. He knows our worries and concerns. He knows how to succor us. He knows that my 16-year old needed to know that his best friend was safe.
So yes, I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in my life today. Have you?
Are You Ready?
It has been a week since reality set in for me, and what a week it has been. As I consider everything that has happened, I feel like the Lord is saying, “Are you paying attention? Are you ready for what is coming?” And so that is the question. Are we paying attention? Are we ready for what is coming? Is there oil in our spiritual lamps? Because unlike all those who are gathering an emergency supply of food and goods now, after things have started to go crazy, we can’t wait until the last possible moment to prepare ourselves spiritually. As I consider all that has happened, a quote comes to mind.
“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.” (Richard G. Scott)
With that in mind, I can honestly say that yes, we have had a multitude of challenges rain down on us in the past week. There has been a good amount of emotional and mental discomfort. It has not been pleasant. We can let it weigh us down. We can let discouragement flourish. We can focus on fear and anxiety for the future. Or we can see this as an opportunity to grow. We can patiently wait on the Lord to guide us. We can reach out with love and compassion to those around us, even if that is digitally rather than face to face. We can accept the challenges and meet them with faith and courage.
In my opinion, the Lord is giving us opportunities to prepare ourselves and our families for the things that are yet to come. As we’ve studied the Book of Mormon this year, one of the questions I’ve repeatedly asked myself is, “Why is this in here?” I know the Book of Mormon was written for those of us living here in the last days and so I’ve been trying to make connections between what I read and my life. Today my thoughts have landed on the fact that there are many revelations concerning the last days and it doesn’t take much effort to look at the world around us and see those prophecies beginning to come to pass. For me, one of the reasons I think these things were written down and given to us in the last days is so we can see the signs and prepare ourselves for what is to come. Many prophets have said it many times, but the time to prepare is now.
I’m taking an honest look at myself right now and asking if I’m ready. And by ready, I don’t mean perfect. I mean continually progressing along the path towards perfection. Because that forward progress, however slow it may seem, is what the Lord asks of us. I fully expect more challenges and more trials in the future. I fully expect to have days when I feel like I can’t take any more. I fully expect to have some moments of fear and anxiety. But I know that if I face each day with faith, the Lord will strengthen and lift me throughout all that is to come. He has promised that he will not leave us alone. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10)
Now is the time to ask yourself and to answer with complete honesty, “Am I ready?”
“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.” (Richard G. Scott)
With that in mind, I can honestly say that yes, we have had a multitude of challenges rain down on us in the past week. There has been a good amount of emotional and mental discomfort. It has not been pleasant. We can let it weigh us down. We can let discouragement flourish. We can focus on fear and anxiety for the future. Or we can see this as an opportunity to grow. We can patiently wait on the Lord to guide us. We can reach out with love and compassion to those around us, even if that is digitally rather than face to face. We can accept the challenges and meet them with faith and courage.
In my opinion, the Lord is giving us opportunities to prepare ourselves and our families for the things that are yet to come. As we’ve studied the Book of Mormon this year, one of the questions I’ve repeatedly asked myself is, “Why is this in here?” I know the Book of Mormon was written for those of us living here in the last days and so I’ve been trying to make connections between what I read and my life. Today my thoughts have landed on the fact that there are many revelations concerning the last days and it doesn’t take much effort to look at the world around us and see those prophecies beginning to come to pass. For me, one of the reasons I think these things were written down and given to us in the last days is so we can see the signs and prepare ourselves for what is to come. Many prophets have said it many times, but the time to prepare is now.
I’m taking an honest look at myself right now and asking if I’m ready. And by ready, I don’t mean perfect. I mean continually progressing along the path towards perfection. Because that forward progress, however slow it may seem, is what the Lord asks of us. I fully expect more challenges and more trials in the future. I fully expect to have days when I feel like I can’t take any more. I fully expect to have some moments of fear and anxiety. But I know that if I face each day with faith, the Lord will strengthen and lift me throughout all that is to come. He has promised that he will not leave us alone. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10)
Now is the time to ask yourself and to answer with complete honesty, “Am I ready?”
Saturday, March 21, 2020
I Still Remember the Phone Number
This afternoon, Matthew came dashing into the kitchen with his hand over one eye and told me that he had gotten toilet bowl cleaner in his eye. To answer the first question I’m sure all of you have, which is how he managed to do that, it was one of those moments when the bottle was difficult to open, he squeezed the lid harder, and then the forceful opening caused the bottle to burp. After all the insanity that I’ve dealt with all week, I was like, “Cool. Acid in your eye? Let’s call poison control.” Seriously. I couldn’t even really get worked up about it. But maybe that’s because I’ve called poison control in the past and they always know just what to do.
Since I’m past experiences with poison control were in my pre-blogging days, let me tell you a little bit of what happened. When Nathan was a toddler, he was a handful. Looking back, he tried my patience out of a combination of the facts that he was extremely curious, wanted to help with everything, and wanted to be a big boy. Matthew, on the other hand, was a handful because he was stubborn and mischievous. But I digress…
When Nathan was two, there was a week when I called poison control multiple times. The first time, he sprayed 409 straight into his mouth. Why? I truly could not tell you. The second time, he was eating a sucker and decided he wanted to see how it tasted dipped in laundry detergent. (In those days my washer and dryer were in the kitchen, so the laundry detergent only came out on laundry days. He waited until I was in the bathroom, of course.) Again, why? Again, I truly could not tell you. Nevertheless, the result was me calling poison control, following directions to have him drink water, wash his mouth out, etc. When you make a poison control call they always call back to make sure things are going ok so I felt like I developed quite a rapport with them.
There was a third near miss in that same time period. Nathan got ahold of the natural orange oil air freshener I like and sprayed it all over the kitchen table and all over his body. By that point I didn’t even bother asking why. But orange oil is acidic, and it was strong enough that it stripped the varnish off the table. (You can come look at it if you want. We were too poor to replace the table at that point and once Matthew came along, we figured we’d be better off keeping the naked table until all our children were old enough not to destroy a new one.) You can imagine the effect that same substance would have on skin. But Kevin and I are pretty smart, so we immediately stripped him down and threw him in the shower. I kept the phone in my hand, but the irritation that had been developing on his skin faded away as we got him clean.
So yeah. I’ve called poison control before. Once more was no big deal. As for Matthew, he was smart to come tell me right away. We got his eye flushed out quickly and luckily, there was no damage. I am, however, starting to feel a bit of trepidation about what will happen tomorrow…
Since I’m past experiences with poison control were in my pre-blogging days, let me tell you a little bit of what happened. When Nathan was a toddler, he was a handful. Looking back, he tried my patience out of a combination of the facts that he was extremely curious, wanted to help with everything, and wanted to be a big boy. Matthew, on the other hand, was a handful because he was stubborn and mischievous. But I digress…
When Nathan was two, there was a week when I called poison control multiple times. The first time, he sprayed 409 straight into his mouth. Why? I truly could not tell you. The second time, he was eating a sucker and decided he wanted to see how it tasted dipped in laundry detergent. (In those days my washer and dryer were in the kitchen, so the laundry detergent only came out on laundry days. He waited until I was in the bathroom, of course.) Again, why? Again, I truly could not tell you. Nevertheless, the result was me calling poison control, following directions to have him drink water, wash his mouth out, etc. When you make a poison control call they always call back to make sure things are going ok so I felt like I developed quite a rapport with them.
There was a third near miss in that same time period. Nathan got ahold of the natural orange oil air freshener I like and sprayed it all over the kitchen table and all over his body. By that point I didn’t even bother asking why. But orange oil is acidic, and it was strong enough that it stripped the varnish off the table. (You can come look at it if you want. We were too poor to replace the table at that point and once Matthew came along, we figured we’d be better off keeping the naked table until all our children were old enough not to destroy a new one.) You can imagine the effect that same substance would have on skin. But Kevin and I are pretty smart, so we immediately stripped him down and threw him in the shower. I kept the phone in my hand, but the irritation that had been developing on his skin faded away as we got him clean.
So yeah. I’ve called poison control before. Once more was no big deal. As for Matthew, he was smart to come tell me right away. We got his eye flushed out quickly and luckily, there was no damage. I am, however, starting to feel a bit of trepidation about what will happen tomorrow…
Called to Serve…For Now
With the world in commotion, one of the adjustments that has been made by Daniel’s mission president is that the missionaries are allowed to call home twice a week and those with health concerns can send a daily text updating their parents on how they are doing. As such, Daniel has messaged Kevin and I nearly every day this past week and I’m really grateful he has been able to do so because he’s been kind of freaking out about possibly coming home. It has been extremely stressful for him and being able to communicate with us has been good for his state of mind.
Daniel called this morning and about five minutes into the chat (we video chat via Skype), he got a phone call from the mission president’s wife. He ducked out for a minute and when he came back, he was visibly calmer. He gets to stay for now and he is so glad. We are glad. Yes, I do have worries about him, but I’m his mom and I had worries before Coronavirus crept into our vocabulary so that’s nothing new. And he will be on the mission nurse’s high priority watch list so that gives me a measure of reassurance. We know that there have already been several missionaries sent home due to health concerns, a dozen will be released next week at their 21-month mark, and there are at least three who will hit that same milestone in early May. With so many being sent home early, Daniel was really worried that he would join their ranks. He has learned so much already. He is a different person after just six months in the field. There is so much more work he wants to do and so much more that he wants to see and experience. He knows very realistically that he will probably not serve a full two years. With the way the world is right now, it seems to be a fact of missionary life. But for now, he gets to stay and hopefully he will see every day that he has in Oregon as a gift from the Lord.
During the course of our conversation, Daniel told me that he has spent a lot of time reviewing the notes I took when he was set apart. The stake president handed me a pen and paper before he started, and I typed it all up so Daniel could take it with him. Although I’m the one who did that work, I didn’t remember much of what was said because they were blessings for Daniel and I’m not the one who needed to keep them in mind. Or so I thought. Daniel reminded me that he was blessed that sickness would not prevent him from doing the work. At the time, that wasn’t a big deal. But in the midst of a pandemic, it’s huge.
So I still have a full time missionary. He is currently mostly quarantined and trying to figure out how to do the work of salvation digitally, but that’s ok. The Lord will provide what these valiant young men and women need in order for his work to progress. And he will bless all of them for the work they have given, even if is for a shorter time period than they had anticipated. feel so honored to have a child who has willingly chosen to serve and wants to serve so much that the thought of coming home early was keeping him up at night.
Daniel called this morning and about five minutes into the chat (we video chat via Skype), he got a phone call from the mission president’s wife. He ducked out for a minute and when he came back, he was visibly calmer. He gets to stay for now and he is so glad. We are glad. Yes, I do have worries about him, but I’m his mom and I had worries before Coronavirus crept into our vocabulary so that’s nothing new. And he will be on the mission nurse’s high priority watch list so that gives me a measure of reassurance. We know that there have already been several missionaries sent home due to health concerns, a dozen will be released next week at their 21-month mark, and there are at least three who will hit that same milestone in early May. With so many being sent home early, Daniel was really worried that he would join their ranks. He has learned so much already. He is a different person after just six months in the field. There is so much more work he wants to do and so much more that he wants to see and experience. He knows very realistically that he will probably not serve a full two years. With the way the world is right now, it seems to be a fact of missionary life. But for now, he gets to stay and hopefully he will see every day that he has in Oregon as a gift from the Lord.
During the course of our conversation, Daniel told me that he has spent a lot of time reviewing the notes I took when he was set apart. The stake president handed me a pen and paper before he started, and I typed it all up so Daniel could take it with him. Although I’m the one who did that work, I didn’t remember much of what was said because they were blessings for Daniel and I’m not the one who needed to keep them in mind. Or so I thought. Daniel reminded me that he was blessed that sickness would not prevent him from doing the work. At the time, that wasn’t a big deal. But in the midst of a pandemic, it’s huge.
So I still have a full time missionary. He is currently mostly quarantined and trying to figure out how to do the work of salvation digitally, but that’s ok. The Lord will provide what these valiant young men and women need in order for his work to progress. And he will bless all of them for the work they have given, even if is for a shorter time period than they had anticipated. feel so honored to have a child who has willingly chosen to serve and wants to serve so much that the thought of coming home early was keeping him up at night.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
On the Bright Side…
Homeschooling is delicious when the assignment is food-styling crepes.
And it doubles as a bit more emotional eating. 😉
And it doubles as a bit more emotional eating. 😉
We Shall Not Be Moved
Late last night we got a text from Daniel telling us that he had just forwarded some very important information from the mission president. This is the second week in a row that we’ve gotten an unexpected message from him when it was not his P-day. And I could tell, even via text, that Daniel was kind of freaking out. Call it the mom vibe or the Spirit or both, but all was not well in Oregon. After reading the email, the reason for his heightened stress and anxiety became clear. The mission president and his wife have been directed to send a report to Salt Lake concerning all missionaries in their mission who have chronic health problems. With the threat of COVID-19 looming over everyone’s heads, the brethren are sending many at risk missionaries home. Because of his asthma, Daniel falls into that category. Kevin and I both communicated with him at length to try to help him calm down and as requested, I immediately sent an email to the mission president’s wife, giving her information about Daniel’s health. Let me tell you, even the written word can carry the Spirit, and it did just that as we communicated with Daniel last night. He was able to calm down and find a bit of peace.
This morning we got another email, this one directly from the mission president, and were informed that any missionaries under consideration for early release would be getting a phone call from the mission president’s wife. She did call and talk to me and she had clearly talked with Daniel before that. He had expressed his desire to stay in the field and serve. Kevin and I feel like his asthma is very mild and don’t feel that it necessitates and early release, but we also all know that these are not normal times and that whatever the Lord directs him to do will be for his good. The decision lies in the hands of the brethren as directed by the Lord. And we will all do what is asked of us.
Having said that, Daniel does not want to come home. He hits the six-month mark next week, so he is still very new in the field. He has a strong desire to be a missionary and has found the many restrictions that have come in the past few weeks very frustrating because it is so much harder to share the gospel. He has only been in one city. And he has so much more that he wants to offer and so much more work he wants to do. If he ends up being sent home, he will humbly obey and knows that the Lord will put him where he is needed, but there will be mountains of disappointment and discouragement. Daniel hasn’t said those things, but I know him well enough to know that it will be so. And knowing that makes it so hard as his mother to see circumstances spiraling out of our control. But I do know that while things may be out of our control, they are eternally under the Lord’s control.
I also know that there are many families and many faithful missionaries in the exact same situation. We, on a worldwide scale, are being tested and if we are all going to make it through, we need to pull together as a church, as a stake, as a ward, as a family, as brothers and sisters in the gospel as we all try to keep up with the frantically increasing pace of these last days.
“And in that day shall be heard of wars and rumors of wars, and the whole earth shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them, and they shall say that Christ delayeth his coming until the end of the earth. . . But my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved.” (D&C 45:26, 32)
Right now, those holy places are found in our homes and our hearts. Nathan’s posting of optimistic and uplifting messages is making a holy place on Instagram. The support, ministering and lifting of spirits the ladies in my ward are sending to one another is making a holy place in text messages. The gospel-based conversations I have had with my family as we weather this storm together create a holy place in our living room. The phone calls from neighbors offering encouragement and support create a holy place in my neighborhood. Our faithful, heartfelt pleas to the Lord in behalf of those we love allow holy places to blossom in our hearts. When we choose joy and hope rather than allowing fear and despair to flourish, we are inviting holy places into our lives. Although we are all physically separated from one another, we can create holy places wherever and whenever we choose to do so. We can all get through this if we choose to stand in holy places and not be moved.
This morning we got another email, this one directly from the mission president, and were informed that any missionaries under consideration for early release would be getting a phone call from the mission president’s wife. She did call and talk to me and she had clearly talked with Daniel before that. He had expressed his desire to stay in the field and serve. Kevin and I feel like his asthma is very mild and don’t feel that it necessitates and early release, but we also all know that these are not normal times and that whatever the Lord directs him to do will be for his good. The decision lies in the hands of the brethren as directed by the Lord. And we will all do what is asked of us.
Having said that, Daniel does not want to come home. He hits the six-month mark next week, so he is still very new in the field. He has a strong desire to be a missionary and has found the many restrictions that have come in the past few weeks very frustrating because it is so much harder to share the gospel. He has only been in one city. And he has so much more that he wants to offer and so much more work he wants to do. If he ends up being sent home, he will humbly obey and knows that the Lord will put him where he is needed, but there will be mountains of disappointment and discouragement. Daniel hasn’t said those things, but I know him well enough to know that it will be so. And knowing that makes it so hard as his mother to see circumstances spiraling out of our control. But I do know that while things may be out of our control, they are eternally under the Lord’s control.
I also know that there are many families and many faithful missionaries in the exact same situation. We, on a worldwide scale, are being tested and if we are all going to make it through, we need to pull together as a church, as a stake, as a ward, as a family, as brothers and sisters in the gospel as we all try to keep up with the frantically increasing pace of these last days.
“And in that day shall be heard of wars and rumors of wars, and the whole earth shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them, and they shall say that Christ delayeth his coming until the end of the earth. . . But my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved.” (D&C 45:26, 32)
Right now, those holy places are found in our homes and our hearts. Nathan’s posting of optimistic and uplifting messages is making a holy place on Instagram. The support, ministering and lifting of spirits the ladies in my ward are sending to one another is making a holy place in text messages. The gospel-based conversations I have had with my family as we weather this storm together create a holy place in our living room. The phone calls from neighbors offering encouragement and support create a holy place in my neighborhood. Our faithful, heartfelt pleas to the Lord in behalf of those we love allow holy places to blossom in our hearts. When we choose joy and hope rather than allowing fear and despair to flourish, we are inviting holy places into our lives. Although we are all physically separated from one another, we can create holy places wherever and whenever we choose to do so. We can all get through this if we choose to stand in holy places and not be moved.
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Bring It On
COVID-19. Social distancing. School at home. Store closures. Shortages of goods. Why don’t we just go ahead and add earthquakes to the mix? Life if definitely interesting right now.
To add some additional crazy to an already intense situation, just after 7:00 this morning there was a 5.7 magnitude earthquake not too far to the north of us. Matthew and Malia freaked out, Nathan just laughed and honestly, I just stood there and thought, “Really? Is this really happening?” Yes, I know that is not supposed to be my first reaction to an earthquake. I’m supposed to duck and cover and all that to preserve my own safety and then ensure the safety of my family. But In all reality, everything has begun to feel a bit surreal. Stress and lack of sleep have led to me walking around the house all day in a stress induced haze. Concentration was not happening, and I could not settle to a task. This afternoon brought several aftershocks strong enough for us to feel (4.6 and 4.4) and it did not help matters. We were far enough away that there was no damage in our immediate area, but still, it was a highly stressful day. Enough stress, in fact, that I had to resort to some stress baking, and thus, some stress eating. The cookies were delicious and while they in no way made a world a better place, they did actually help my brain become a calmer place. Yes, I’m an emotional eater. Most of the time I avoid it because I’m aware of the tendency, but with a pandemic and an earthquake upending my life in the space of less than a week, I really felt like some sugar was in order. And I couched it in a selfless act by simply doubling a recipe I had been intending to bake to send to Daniel. 😉
On the bright side, the ladies in my ward have really stepped up their ministering. It has made me emotional on more than one occasion today as I got responses from so many sisters in my ward about how people are doing. They are reaching out to each other and creating a web of caring and concern that is precisely what I believe the Lord had in mind with the ministering program.
I’m sure there will be more stress baking in the near future. With the changes we are seeing each and every day, I fully expect things to get worse before they get better. But I know that I am not alone and that I will be able to stand strong with those I love at my side. Oh, and if you find yourself in need of a good stress baking option, I have a delightful orange creamsicle cookie recipe.
To add some additional crazy to an already intense situation, just after 7:00 this morning there was a 5.7 magnitude earthquake not too far to the north of us. Matthew and Malia freaked out, Nathan just laughed and honestly, I just stood there and thought, “Really? Is this really happening?” Yes, I know that is not supposed to be my first reaction to an earthquake. I’m supposed to duck and cover and all that to preserve my own safety and then ensure the safety of my family. But In all reality, everything has begun to feel a bit surreal. Stress and lack of sleep have led to me walking around the house all day in a stress induced haze. Concentration was not happening, and I could not settle to a task. This afternoon brought several aftershocks strong enough for us to feel (4.6 and 4.4) and it did not help matters. We were far enough away that there was no damage in our immediate area, but still, it was a highly stressful day. Enough stress, in fact, that I had to resort to some stress baking, and thus, some stress eating. The cookies were delicious and while they in no way made a world a better place, they did actually help my brain become a calmer place. Yes, I’m an emotional eater. Most of the time I avoid it because I’m aware of the tendency, but with a pandemic and an earthquake upending my life in the space of less than a week, I really felt like some sugar was in order. And I couched it in a selfless act by simply doubling a recipe I had been intending to bake to send to Daniel. 😉
On the bright side, the ladies in my ward have really stepped up their ministering. It has made me emotional on more than one occasion today as I got responses from so many sisters in my ward about how people are doing. They are reaching out to each other and creating a web of caring and concern that is precisely what I believe the Lord had in mind with the ministering program.
I’m sure there will be more stress baking in the near future. With the changes we are seeing each and every day, I fully expect things to get worse before they get better. But I know that I am not alone and that I will be able to stand strong with those I love at my side. Oh, and if you find yourself in need of a good stress baking option, I have a delightful orange creamsicle cookie recipe.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Reality Sets In
Social distancing officially began three days ago, but with all the errands that have been necessary in the past few days, life kind of felt like business as usual for us. Today was the first day when we were all home when we wouldn’t normally have been, doing things we wouldn’t normally be do at home. We held our own little version of church, including the sacrament. Partway through the morning, I got an email letting me know that rehearsal for the general conference choir had been cancelled. As of now we are still planning to sing for conference but will do so with half the number of rehearsals originally scheduled. While it was in no way unexpected, it was a disappointment. There was no ward choir practice either and no presidency meetings for Nathan and Matthew. Our traditional big family dinner at my parent’s house was also cancelled. And with all those changes, the weight of the situation in which we find ourselves settled on my shoulders.
All of us have things that we will not be able to do as a result of the insane circumstances in which we find ourselves. There have been, and I’m sure will continue to be, cancellations of all kinds. We will be separated from those with whom we would normally associate. There will be disappointments of all kinds. And I suspect there will be an emotional toll as well. And yet, it feels like the Lord has been preparing us for this exact situation. We’ve had just over a year learning how to have church at home with the “Come, Follow Me” program. We’ve had a couple of years of ministering, which is the main way that the leadership in my ward is reaching out to all the members of the ward, making sure needs are met, making sure no one is completely cut off from others and helping lift spirits. The move to sharing most ward and stake announcements via email has given us a previously established method for getting information out to everyone. The new children and youth program is helping us meet the various needs of our young ones with the focus on family involvement. So although things are definitely not normal, I can’t help but feel that we’ve been given the tools we need to survive, and possibly even thrive, in these uncommon days, these last days.
All of us have things that we will not be able to do as a result of the insane circumstances in which we find ourselves. There have been, and I’m sure will continue to be, cancellations of all kinds. We will be separated from those with whom we would normally associate. There will be disappointments of all kinds. And I suspect there will be an emotional toll as well. And yet, it feels like the Lord has been preparing us for this exact situation. We’ve had just over a year learning how to have church at home with the “Come, Follow Me” program. We’ve had a couple of years of ministering, which is the main way that the leadership in my ward is reaching out to all the members of the ward, making sure needs are met, making sure no one is completely cut off from others and helping lift spirits. The move to sharing most ward and stake announcements via email has given us a previously established method for getting information out to everyone. The new children and youth program is helping us meet the various needs of our young ones with the focus on family involvement. So although things are definitely not normal, I can’t help but feel that we’ve been given the tools we need to survive, and possibly even thrive, in these uncommon days, these last days.
Saturday, March 14, 2020
The Eye of the Storm
Over the past several days, I’ve kind of been the mind of reason in our house. In all honesty, that is not my usual job. I’m usually the one keeping a calm face on to prevent our kids from freaking out any more than they already are, and then being overwhelmed by anxiety when their backs are turned. With that in mind, I’ve spent a good deal of time ruminating about why I’m so at peace.
Kevin and I were able to go to the temple last night. He scheduled a family sealing session several weeks ago because his sister had a bunch of family names that needed sealings. I feel like it was a blessing that all our schedules happened to align and that we were able to get one last temple trip in before the temples close for proxy ordinances on Monday. We don’t know how long any of the current closures will last so I’m very grateful we were able to go. As we walked around in the temple, we could hear the wind wailing through the ventilated elevator shafts. The halls were still peaceful and in the ordinance rooms it was still quiet, but the sound of the wind in opposition to the peace in the temple made me feel like I was in the eye of the storm. That thought led me to the idea that the world is very much in turmoil and while we won’t be able to attend the temple for an undermined amount of time, our homes can and should be that same peaceful refuge from a world in commotion. Kevin, noticing the same opposition as I did, had two hymns come to his mind: “Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me” and “Master, the Tempest is Raging.” He felt like both of those hymns express very well how our children are feeling in our current circumstances. Things are out of our control and there is fear and anxiety about what may happen, but if we turn to our Savior, if we lean on him and trust in him, he will guide us through whatever is coming.
As we drove home, I had another thought. There will be a multicultural choir singing for the Saturday evening session of General Conference in a few weeks. The church started accepting applications in January and I applied, as did my sisters Rachael and Esther. I was invited to participate and while I’m super excited about that, the fly in the ointment was the fact that neither of my sisters were. Over 6300 applications were received, so obviously, choosing who would participate was a difficult process. On the evening of our first rehearsal, those who were involved with organizing the choir and choosing the participants told us that the Spirit was key in making all those decisions. Those of us who were invited to sing were there for the reason. The organizers didn’t know, and we might not even know, but each of us was supposed to participate. We were also told that we and our families would be blessed for our service in the choir.
As I thought on that, I think this uncharacteristic calm I’m feeling is one of those blessings. When it was announced earlier this week that general conference would be closed to the general public, we got an email from the choir organizers letting us know that the music is very important to the general authorities and that we would still be singing. When the governor banned group gatherings of more than 100 (there are 364 people in the choir) I thought that might be the death knell of the choir. But it was not long before we got another email informing us that “the First Presidency is very much still planning on having us sing live for conference.” (It was in bold, just like that.) There will need to be some adjustments made to our rehearsal schedule, but the choir is still a go. They also told us that if we are nervous about attending rehearsals with groups of people that we can contact the organizers and they will work something out, but honestly, if the prophet says we are still singing, that is good enough for me. I trust that he has our best interest in mind and since he has a pretty direct line to the highest authority, I trust that my health and well-being will be taken care of as far as choir participation goes.
I think that sense of calm trust in our prophet has translated into my life as a whole as a blessing of my willingness to sing in the choir. I don’t know how long it will last. Hopefully it will continue for the duration, but I’m pretty neurotic sometimes so we’ll see. And as for conference, it will most definitely be a general conference unlike any I’ve experienced before. And I’m not worried about where to park anymore. 😉
Kevin and I were able to go to the temple last night. He scheduled a family sealing session several weeks ago because his sister had a bunch of family names that needed sealings. I feel like it was a blessing that all our schedules happened to align and that we were able to get one last temple trip in before the temples close for proxy ordinances on Monday. We don’t know how long any of the current closures will last so I’m very grateful we were able to go. As we walked around in the temple, we could hear the wind wailing through the ventilated elevator shafts. The halls were still peaceful and in the ordinance rooms it was still quiet, but the sound of the wind in opposition to the peace in the temple made me feel like I was in the eye of the storm. That thought led me to the idea that the world is very much in turmoil and while we won’t be able to attend the temple for an undermined amount of time, our homes can and should be that same peaceful refuge from a world in commotion. Kevin, noticing the same opposition as I did, had two hymns come to his mind: “Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me” and “Master, the Tempest is Raging.” He felt like both of those hymns express very well how our children are feeling in our current circumstances. Things are out of our control and there is fear and anxiety about what may happen, but if we turn to our Savior, if we lean on him and trust in him, he will guide us through whatever is coming.
As we drove home, I had another thought. There will be a multicultural choir singing for the Saturday evening session of General Conference in a few weeks. The church started accepting applications in January and I applied, as did my sisters Rachael and Esther. I was invited to participate and while I’m super excited about that, the fly in the ointment was the fact that neither of my sisters were. Over 6300 applications were received, so obviously, choosing who would participate was a difficult process. On the evening of our first rehearsal, those who were involved with organizing the choir and choosing the participants told us that the Spirit was key in making all those decisions. Those of us who were invited to sing were there for the reason. The organizers didn’t know, and we might not even know, but each of us was supposed to participate. We were also told that we and our families would be blessed for our service in the choir.
As I thought on that, I think this uncharacteristic calm I’m feeling is one of those blessings. When it was announced earlier this week that general conference would be closed to the general public, we got an email from the choir organizers letting us know that the music is very important to the general authorities and that we would still be singing. When the governor banned group gatherings of more than 100 (there are 364 people in the choir) I thought that might be the death knell of the choir. But it was not long before we got another email informing us that “the First Presidency is very much still planning on having us sing live for conference.” (It was in bold, just like that.) There will need to be some adjustments made to our rehearsal schedule, but the choir is still a go. They also told us that if we are nervous about attending rehearsals with groups of people that we can contact the organizers and they will work something out, but honestly, if the prophet says we are still singing, that is good enough for me. I trust that he has our best interest in mind and since he has a pretty direct line to the highest authority, I trust that my health and well-being will be taken care of as far as choir participation goes.
I think that sense of calm trust in our prophet has translated into my life as a whole as a blessing of my willingness to sing in the choir. I don’t know how long it will last. Hopefully it will continue for the duration, but I’m pretty neurotic sometimes so we’ll see. And as for conference, it will most definitely be a general conference unlike any I’ve experienced before. And I’m not worried about where to park anymore. 😉
Friday, March 13, 2020
The World Has Gone Crazy and I’m Just Along for the Ride
You would have to be pretty much dead not to have an idea of what is going on around the world with COVID-19. It has been headlining the news for weeks now. And while we would like to feel like we are unaffected her in our little mountain valley, in our interconnected world, no one is unaffected. That became abundantly clear yesterday when our governor held a press conference instituting “social distancing” in order to keep the spread of the virus from overwhelming our communities. Today’s announcement that all public schools will close for at least two weeks only added to the general hysteria.
It just so happens that Thursday is my regular shopping day so that it what I was doing yesterday morning. And as the morning wore on, the scene became more and more frantic. People were freaking out. The shelves were emptying faster than they can be restocked. The poor, harried store employees were doing the best they can to deal with frantic customers who are freaking out because there is no more toilet paper, milk, eggs, or flour to be had. And as for me? It was a normal shopping day. I was getting normal stuff, although some of it in greater quantities than normal, not because I’m panicking, but because so many others are that I’m concerned that I won’t be able to get what my family needs in coming weeks. All in all, it was most definitely not a normal day.
Today there was more of the same. I ran to the store first thing to try to pick up a couple of items I was unable to find yesterday (and luckily was able to do so) and even early in the morning when the grocery stores are normally very quiet, there was a manic energy flowing through the entire establishment. I can honestly say that I was glad to get what I needed and get out of there.
My kids are worried, stressed and disappointed. They feel like their lives have come to a screeching halt. Both Nathan and Matthew have been rehearsing for shows with performance dates that are now in a limbo. The middle school teacher has assured Matthew and his cast that they will perform even if they need to do it in July. Nathan’s cast has no such reassurance as of yet. Nathan’s choir tour was set to happen in a couple of weeks and that has been cancelled. Due to cancellation policies and such, we don’t even know if they will be able to get any of their money returned. (Although to be honest, I feel much better about keeping him closer to home right now. The thought of sending him to Disneyland was making me nervous.) Matthew had a concert scheduled for Monday evening and he was super excited because, as one of only two seventh graders in the jazz band, he had a solo. Now that is off as well. And while Malia is currently off-track, she is very concerned about what school at home will be like when she goes back on-track in a week and is worried that she won’t be able to understand any new material because she won’t be able to ask her teacher questions and get them answered right away. I’ve tried to reassure her that I am not only skilled, but trained, to do just that, but since she has only ever known me as “Mom,” I don’t think she can see me wearing the “Teacher” hat yet.
Late last night we got a Skype message from Daniel telling us that his mission president had directed them to immediately forward some important info to all their parents. The info contained all the measures the mission is taking to ensure the health and safety of our missionaries. I don’t really know how Daniel’s state of mind is right now as the email from him was very brief since it was not an actual P-day, but we’ll talk to him on Monday and will get a much better idea of how is dealing with all this.
We are all treading in new territory here. This is something none of us has experienced before. And to be completely honest, I’m actually pretty calm. No, that is not my normal reaction to things like this, but right now my only worry is that we might run out of toilet paper since it is very hard to come by just now. But even that is not overwhelming. We are creative. We can come up with solutions if things remain crazy longer than our current supply holds out. I think I’m beginning to get an idea of the seriousness of the situation, but even so, I’m not having a total panic attack. I think my family and I are going to be ok. So I feel a like bit like I’m standing in the midst of a big insanity party and just not feeling the vibe…and maybe that’s what faith is. Knowing the world is a mess and being prepared, proactive, and yet being able to maintain an overall sense of calm and know that in the ultimate end, everything will be alright.
It just so happens that Thursday is my regular shopping day so that it what I was doing yesterday morning. And as the morning wore on, the scene became more and more frantic. People were freaking out. The shelves were emptying faster than they can be restocked. The poor, harried store employees were doing the best they can to deal with frantic customers who are freaking out because there is no more toilet paper, milk, eggs, or flour to be had. And as for me? It was a normal shopping day. I was getting normal stuff, although some of it in greater quantities than normal, not because I’m panicking, but because so many others are that I’m concerned that I won’t be able to get what my family needs in coming weeks. All in all, it was most definitely not a normal day.
Today there was more of the same. I ran to the store first thing to try to pick up a couple of items I was unable to find yesterday (and luckily was able to do so) and even early in the morning when the grocery stores are normally very quiet, there was a manic energy flowing through the entire establishment. I can honestly say that I was glad to get what I needed and get out of there.
My kids are worried, stressed and disappointed. They feel like their lives have come to a screeching halt. Both Nathan and Matthew have been rehearsing for shows with performance dates that are now in a limbo. The middle school teacher has assured Matthew and his cast that they will perform even if they need to do it in July. Nathan’s cast has no such reassurance as of yet. Nathan’s choir tour was set to happen in a couple of weeks and that has been cancelled. Due to cancellation policies and such, we don’t even know if they will be able to get any of their money returned. (Although to be honest, I feel much better about keeping him closer to home right now. The thought of sending him to Disneyland was making me nervous.) Matthew had a concert scheduled for Monday evening and he was super excited because, as one of only two seventh graders in the jazz band, he had a solo. Now that is off as well. And while Malia is currently off-track, she is very concerned about what school at home will be like when she goes back on-track in a week and is worried that she won’t be able to understand any new material because she won’t be able to ask her teacher questions and get them answered right away. I’ve tried to reassure her that I am not only skilled, but trained, to do just that, but since she has only ever known me as “Mom,” I don’t think she can see me wearing the “Teacher” hat yet.
Late last night we got a Skype message from Daniel telling us that his mission president had directed them to immediately forward some important info to all their parents. The info contained all the measures the mission is taking to ensure the health and safety of our missionaries. I don’t really know how Daniel’s state of mind is right now as the email from him was very brief since it was not an actual P-day, but we’ll talk to him on Monday and will get a much better idea of how is dealing with all this.
We are all treading in new territory here. This is something none of us has experienced before. And to be completely honest, I’m actually pretty calm. No, that is not my normal reaction to things like this, but right now my only worry is that we might run out of toilet paper since it is very hard to come by just now. But even that is not overwhelming. We are creative. We can come up with solutions if things remain crazy longer than our current supply holds out. I think I’m beginning to get an idea of the seriousness of the situation, but even so, I’m not having a total panic attack. I think my family and I are going to be ok. So I feel a like bit like I’m standing in the midst of a big insanity party and just not feeling the vibe…and maybe that’s what faith is. Knowing the world is a mess and being prepared, proactive, and yet being able to maintain an overall sense of calm and know that in the ultimate end, everything will be alright.
Monday, March 9, 2020
An Oldie but Goodie
Malia is off-track right now. Since she is the only one and I’m no longer hard pressed to keep 3-4 children entertained for three weeks, sometimes I don’t think about doing all the fun things I used to do to keep the boys from tearing the house (and each other) apart. A couple of days ago Malia found a bottle of white glue and asked if we could make slime. It was a busy day for me, and I didn’t have time, but I promised we would do it and today was the day. I helped her get things mixed up and then she let her creativity run wild.
She spent a couple of hours sitting at the counter enjoying her non-Newtonian fluid. It was a cheap afternoon of entertainment. 😊
She spent a couple of hours sitting at the counter enjoying her non-Newtonian fluid. It was a cheap afternoon of entertainment. 😊
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