Knuckle Head

Malia has attended a different middle school than all the boys. There were some boundary changes that sent her to a school that was further away and where far fewer of her elementary school friends were going. At first, it was incredibly stressful. None of us were happy about the change. Malia in particular was equal parts angry and terrified as she started 7th grade. But the change ended up being so good for her and in retrospect, we are all glad that the Lord knew what she needed better than we did.

As a mighty 9th grader, her time in middle school is coming to a close and with that comes all the classic end of year activities, including the 9th grade awards night. Our other middle school handled things differently, and while there were awards given throughout the year that included an invitation for the parents to attend, the 9th grade awards were given during school hours with only the students in attendance. For Malia, however, the ceremony was a semi-formal evening event with parents invited to come and support their children.

The ceremony was handled differently than any other I’ve attended, but I think it streamlined the process. Rather than hand out awards by category, having students come to the stage multiple times if they received multiple awards, each student came to the stage alphabetically and was highlighted only once. A slide showing which awards each student received was shown for everyone, and after a photo op with the principal, they received a packet with all their awards included. The whole shindig lasted just over an hour, which was pretty great considering how many kids were invited.

Malia received multiple awards, including ones for math, language arts, fine arts (she is a choir kid after all), and the presidential fitness award. She was pleasantly surprised by how many of her peers cheered for her, and I was super pleased that she has so much support at the school. Considering the rough start and the small number of other kids she knew when she started, she has come a long way, made a lot of friends, and found her place in the little world of her middle school. Even the principal knows who she is, and in a good way! She is energetic and outgoing and over the course of the past three years, she has made an impression on him as he mingles with the kids during their lunch periods. There have been high fives, short greetings, and other such normal interactions, but Malia counts her relationship with the middle school principal by the number of times she has touched his head. Yes. You read that correctly. She had indeed touched the principal’s head on more than one occasion. Four, to be precise. 

The first two noggin nudges came to pass because the principal’s hands were filled with dirty lunch trays that he was helping to collect. That required a modification of the traditional fist bump turning it into a head/fist bump. The third was a result of a bet/dare with Morgan, one of Malia’s best friends. They were engaged in a water bottle flipping contest where the loser had to rub the principal’s head. As the loser, Malia was the one who had to do the rubbing. And the principal was the one who was good natured enough to let it happen. And I’m sure Morgan was the one laughing her head off. 😜 With that triple head/hand contact in mind, I jokingly told Malia that she should rub his head instead of shaking his hand when she received her awards. She did not go all wacky and do so during the actual ceremony, but after the formal portion of the evening was done, she sure did ask Mr. G if she could rub his head. And he sure did let her. 😂

Malia has done well in middle school. Not only has she found her place there and left her mark (the kids who were in the science class for which she was a T.A. first semester still call her “Closet Goblin” 😂), she has learned a lot both in and out of the classroom. She has grown up a lot and although I know she is nervous, I think she will do well in high school. She will be a little fish in a big pond again, but as she has done in the past, I suspect she will make new friends and find her place fairly quickly. At least I hope she will.

She’s Moving On

This evening was Malia’s final concert of the year and her final concert of middle school. It was also the event where her choir teacher recognized the students who participated in choir all three years of their middle school tenure, of which Malia was one. Malia has loved being in choir. She has gained confidence in her musical abilities and has found joy in singing. While there have been some frustrations as well, overall, her choir experiences have been positive. And her choir teacher is fantastic, just the right mix of dedicated, chaotic and insane that works perfectly in a middle school classroom. She has loved being in his classes.

Although I know she harbors some nostalgic feelings about her middle school choir experiences, I also know that she is ready to move on to a choir where the kids have more focus and she is less bombarded by the social drama that seems never-ending at the middle school. Don’t get me wrong. I know there is drama aplenty at the high school as well, but adding a bunch of new kids to the mix is something that Malia is looking forward to. It will dilute the crazy she has been dealing with and hopefully give her opportunities to make new friends. 

Malia said she only almost cried once this evening. I saw that moment on her face as the last notes of the last song of the evening were sung. She is comfortable in her little middle school pond and wading into a bigger pool, while exciting, can also be scary. But she will be taking some of her middle school choir friends with her, so hopefully she won’t feel like she is taking those big steps alone. And there will be more music and more laughter and more joy to be found. Kudos to the school choir teachers of the world. They have made my world, and my daughter’s world, just a little bit better.

People Person

 Rather than the three or four Christmas concerts we’ve attended the past several years, this year we only had one. And while Malia hated some of the songs they sang (the alto part of “Carol of the Bells” is so boring!), there were some she really enjoyed (a medley of songs from “The Muppet Christmas Carol,” one of our favorite Christmas movies). And she loved that Daniel was able to drive down to attend her concert. As the youngest child, she doesn’t have siblings that attend every concert like the boys did. And she feels that loss. So, the fact that Daniel took the time to come down meant a lot. His finals schedule worked out just right this time around and I’m so grateful he made attending the concert a priority. And I know Malia appreciates it too. She knows that her brothers have busy lives as they try to juggle school, work, church responsibilities, friends, family, and in Daniel’s case, a new wife, but she definitely misses them.

While I know many youngest children who really enjoy having the run of the roost, Malia doesn’t enjoy being the only child left at home. She has always been a people person. Even as a baby she loved being surrounded by people and in those early years, those people were her brothers. They come around when they can and she understands that they can’t always be here, but when they can, it is a highlight for her.

Starting the Year Off Strong

Malia has gained a lot of confidence in the past year. She was in concert choir at the middle school last year and while she really enjoyed it, she always looked super nervous during the concerts even though she always said she had fun. She is in concert choir again this year and her first concert was this evening. And guess what? She looked like she was having fun! Malia came out of the concert all hyped up with a well-deserved performance high. The choir has sixty-five members this year, which is great for a middle school, and they all did a great job. I look forward to hearing them sing throughout the remainder of the year!

He’s Glad to Be a Grad!

Well, he finally made it. After fifteen years of school, the past three being spent in active anticipation for life after high school, Matthew finally graduated. The actual ceremony only lasted two hours despite the fact that there were 900 graduates in his class, and Kevin and I arrived on time despite the absolutely insane slowdowns that had us wondering if we were, in fact going to make it. Seriously, we are so, so very tired of all the road construction in our neck of the woods. There is literally no good way to get out of our corner of the valley right now. Everywhere we turn there are more traffic cones. Add 900 students’ worth of family all heading the same direction and you will have an idea of the traffic snarl we ended up navigating. But like I said, we made it, actually found a parking spot and two seats together, and felt like we lucked out a bit with the relative brevity of the event.

Matthew has been very involved in school activities pretty much ever since he hit 8th grade. Seventh grade happened during the covid shutdown, or I expect he would have been heavily involved that year as well. He has been in a concert type band and jazz band since 7th grade and added marching band once he hit high school. He jumped into the world of stage crew as an 8th grader and became the lighting lead at both his middle school and high school by the time he was done. And as a senior he added choir to his rolodex of activities. Add in three private trumpet students, involvement in the theater department from time to time, and a healthy dose of social activities, and we honestly haven’t seen Matthew in about five years. 😂 

The band didn’t play for graduation, but the choir students sang the school hymn (not the school song, our high school has two separate anthems) so Matthew got to sit right up front with all the madrigals which was exactly what he wanted. These are the kids who have been his social group all year, the ones who welcomed a band kid into the world of choir. Some of these kids are ones he has known since elementary school, and one of them was even in his preschool class. Along those lines, Matthew’s 6th grade teacher was at graduation. Matthew’s sixth grade class was his very first class, so he attended the graduation to basically commemorate his first year of teaching and celebrate those kids who were in his first class. Matthew met up with his little crew from that year and they were able to take a minute to celebrate this milestone in their lives. There were five of them that were in that class that are still friends. And several of them were in vocal jazz with Matthew his year. Thinking back on those days when they were small, it seems like time has gone very quickly.

As I’ve mentioned, Matthew is glad he is finally done. Over the past year, he has become increasingly more frustrated with some of the foibles of some of the teachers he has worked closely with. He is totally over all the high school social drama, although luckily, he has been able to ride mostly on the periphery of most of it. He is ready to be out on his own, to be his own boss, and to be able to take more control of his life. And for the most part, I think he is ready. Like all young adults, jumping into the real world can be kind of a shock, but we have tried to prepare him and teach him some of those necessary skills that being an independent adult requires. So hopefully he will transition fairly easily, because he will be leaving the safety of home pretty darn quickly.

I think today was one of those reality check days for me. Although we have known for months that Matthew would be going on a mission, we have all been in the mind set of “we can think about that after graduation.” Well, with graduation officially over, we have hit that “after” we have been talking about for months. And we don’t actually have all that long to get him ready to go. I guess life never actually slows down. It just changes direction once in a while. And it looks like it’s time for me to switch back into mission mom mode.

Joyful Music

Last night was Matthew’s ever high school choir concert. While he has always been a band kid, this year being a choir kid has provided him with the happy, safe place that he needed. He has made new friends, had new experiences, used his trumpet skills to augment vocal music, designed all the lighting for the choir concerts, and generally been the all around get it done guy to help things run smoothly. So basically, he has done what he has always done but extended his reach to cover the choir department as well. 

All the choirs sang at this concert, which made it so, so long, almost three hours. But musically it was very diverse and was pretty fun. Matthew had a fantastic trumpet solo that he didn’t tell us about, one that was beautifully done, and which brought a lot of depth and power to the music. The vocal jazz groups performed several numbers that we haven’t heard in the other concerts we have attended in the past several weeks. And the lighting was fantastic, spot on for each group and each song. And all designed by Matthew in the day and a half before the concert because that was when he was given the cues he needed to design the show.

I know Matthew is going to miss the camaraderie he has found in the choir program this year. But I also know that he is so grateful for the chance he had to be there. The Spirit was definitely a part of his being asked to join the vocal jazz group and at the time it happened, none of us knew just how much of a difference it would make for this last year of his high school experience. But the Lord knew what he needed. And we are all so very grateful for this chance that Matthew had to be a part of something that has brought him such joy.

Disneyland Do Over

Instead of doing a big tour for the entire band program, this year the band director set his sights on a tour focused on the indoor percussion team and planned a smaller, shorter tour to Las Vegas for all the band students. Matthew had absolutely no desire to go to Vegas so way back last fall, he decided he was going to tour with the choir instead this year. As time went by, the Las Vegas tour was scrapped for an ever shorter and more cost-effective trip to Lagoon. But even that plan failed to come to fruition, so Matthew was thrice glad that he opted early on to travel with the choir.

Southern California was the destination for this year’s choir tour and although Matthew was there last year with the band, that tour was so disappointing for him in so many ways that he was actually pretty excited to get a chance to do it again. Last year, the group of friends he was with was focused on the rides at Disneyland, so all Matthew got to do was stand in lines and take rides. He missed out on all the other charms the magical kingdom has to offer. This year he got to rectify that and did some shopping, saw some sights, ate more Dole whip, and even made it to Cars land, something that he was sorely disappointed about missing last year.

Last year’s tour only allotted the kids about an hour at the beach, but this year they spent an entire afternoon basking in the sun and playing in the sand. Matthew spotted a pod of dolphins during their time at the beach, which is always cool but extra exciting as he has spent a considerable amount of time on his hobby of wildlife photography, which he has come to love.

The band teacher forgot to register for the festival they had planned to participate in last year, so they didn’t even get to create any music on that tour. But this year Matthew got to sing in a festival in which our high school did tremendously well, coming away with the best choir program award as well as the best all around ensemble for the madrigals. 

Another highlight of this year’s trip included enjoying all the charm of Camp Snoopy at Knott’s Berry Farm. Snoopy is one of Matthew’s favorite cartoon characters, so it was a fun stop for him. And my sister Esther, who is a Snoopy fan as well, was mightily jealous!

Due to some problems with one of the replacement bus drivers, the kids didn’t make it home until nearly 1:00 this morning rather than the anticipated 9:00 p.m. yesterday arrival time. Matthew was completely wiped out. I woke him up twice so he could go to school as he had planned, but when he failed to get up after those dual wake up calls, I decided he probably just needed to sleep. I think that assessment was correct, because later this afternoon when I mentioned waking him up several times, he admitted with some surprise that he didn’t even remember them happening even though he sat up and looked at me and everything. 😂

I hope Matthew came away from this tour with more fond memories than he did last year. And despite the physical and mental strain that such a whirlwind tour takes on him due to worries about food, inability to sleep well, etc., I certainly hope he sees it as time well spent. I certainly would. I mean, doesn’t eating Dole whip at Disneyland with his friends kind of make all of it worthwhile?

Strike Up the Band

May is always busy with all the end of year performances and events, but with Matthew being a senior, it has been extra busy this year. This past week has been particularly busy. Starting with Malia’s choir concert last Tuesday, we have had a concert or performance of some sort on 6 of the past 8 evenings. I already shared thoughts about Matthew’s vocal jazz performance, so now I’m going to wax poetic on all his band concerts. Of which there have been many.

But first, let me mention one other anomaly we’ve had. Last week Wednesday was the annual Spring Showcase, a theater department performance. Each year the students in the Theater 3 class write a ten-minute one act play. The Theater 4 students direct the plays. And anyone student in the school who wants to can audition to be in one of the plays. Matthew has auditioned and been cast every year that he has been in high school. In fact, this year he had people tell him they needed him for their shows, so it was pretty much certain that he would be participating. 😂 The first year we attended the showcase the shows were pretty entertaining, a good mix of humor, mystery, and drama. Last year it felt like every play was about or written from deep within the wellspring of some kind of mental illness, which made it a less pleasant event. And this year, there seemed to be a focus on a twist at the end of the story, some humorous, some more of the mystery variety. It was a fun change of pace and Matthew, who pretty much adlibbed his entire performance, was the one performer who got some actual laughs from the audience.

And now, the band begins to play…

Last Thursday was the end of year band concert. Matthew only played with the wind symphony for this one as the jazz bands had their own separate performance this time around. The concert theme was video game music which was actually the theme of the first concert of Matthew’s sophomore year, the first concert our current band teacher held at this school. I’m not into video games and as such, none of the music was familiar or even that interesting to me. Frankly, I was a bit bored. But it wasn’t just me. None of the kids cared either. For some it was a “been there done that” kind of thing. For others, they just didn’t care about the music. And I’m sure the apathy of the band director over the past month has not helped. But no matter the reason, the kids, Matthew included, just didn’t have any enthusiasm about this concert. They performed well and all that, but there was no excitement for the pieces they were playing, and it was evident in the lack of energy. Oh, well. At least this is the last one for Matthew. And he’s actually totally ok with that.

Last Saturday Matthew had a jazz gig in Sandy. They got invited to participate in a multi-high school concert held at the Sandy Amphitheater and Kevin was in attendance to support Matthew. Matthew felt like it wasn’t a stellar performance, and the big news of the night was the rain, which completely soaked the audience, and the lightning, which shut down the concert right after Matthew’s group played. 

Last night was a two-event evening, only one of which was band-related. Our new ward has a BBQ for all the graduating seniors each year and takes a minute to recognize each senior and present them with their last emblem of belonging for the youth program, which is a small glass ornament with the Christus etched inside. As parents, we had the opportunity to take a minute to share a bit about our youth and then the bishop presented the statues. Bishop knew Matthew was double booked, so he had us go first and then we immediately dashed over to the park for Matthew’s last high school band concert ever.

Last night’s concert was advertised as the Herriman Jazz Festival and was another multi-school jazz band event. Several of the local middle schools and the other high school in Herriman performed as well as the vocal jazz group and the two jazz bands from our high school. Matthew has been lobbying for this particular event for three years and has been looking forward to it for just as long. The first such event in our little city was the year Nathan was a senior. He sang with the vocal jazz group that year and the jazz band played. Last year the concert was supposed to happen, but due to some scheduling snafus and an outright stealing of the idea by another high school who scheduled theirs for the night before ours was supposed to be, the venue was changed at the last minute and the whole jazz in the park thing didn’t happen. This year that issue was solved by making it a multi-school concert.

Knowing that this concert was Matthew’s big senior swan song and that it meant a lot to him, Daniel, Tawni and Nathan all came down to be in attendance. They took Malia, and our camp chairs, to the park and staked out a spot while Kevin, Matthew and I attended the ward BBQ. We arrived just in time for a necessary thirty-minute intermission. A bunch of the kids in vocal jazz are also in madrigals and they were double booked last night as well, so they had to dash from one performance to another, building in enough time to change and set up. They sang a variety of the group numbers we heard at the full concert last Friday as well as several of my favorite solos from the previous event. And it all went great. 

Matthew’s jazz band was the last group on the program, the culmination of the festival, and Matthew’s last ever high school band concert. Unfortunately, the performance did not go anywhere near as well as he had hoped and he was equal parts crushed, angry, frustrated, and incredibly disappointed. As I have already said, Matthew has been looking forward to this particular concert for three years. We didn’t feel like it went as poorly as he did, but he is his own worst critic first of all, and second, the jazz band this year is just nowhere near as good as last year’s ensemble, and he knows it. So, he does everything he can, and as lead trumpet he has felt a good deal of responsibility for the band this year. But when no one else cares as much as he does, there is only so much he can do. He is likely going to need some time to being able to put this particular let down behind him, but there were two tender mercies this evening. First, Daniel, who is a well-seasoned jazz band member himself and the sibling that is closest to Matthew, was there to support him and talk him through it. Second, our high school band director actually took the time to acknowledge all the hard work Matthew has put into the band program for these past three years and tell Matthew how grateful he is for everything Matthew has done. So, while Matthew has frequently been frustrated and irritated with the lack of planning and the changeable nature of the band teacher, all his effort has been noticed and appreciated. So, kudos to his teacher for taking the time to thank him. Matthew needed that.

Malia feels a bit bad about saying it, but she is tired of all the band concerts. And honestly, I’m a little bit over it as well. There have been a lot of them packed into a very short amount of time and while we both love Matthew and want to support him, we are both glad that the next concert will be a choir concert!

The Jazz Singer

This evening was Matthew’s last full performance for vocal jazz. While I have attended many years of band concerts with both Mattthew and Daniel and have enjoyed most of them (and tolerated the others), vocal music is still what’s in my heart. As such, I have loved being able to attend more choir concerts this year. And I have really loved the opportunity to hear so many old jazz standards sung by the vocal jazz group. I grew up watching classic 1940’s and 50’s movie musicals and am a fan of older vocalists such as Frank Sinatra and Rosemary Clooney, and newer ones with similar styles like Harry Connick Jr. and Michael Buble. So much of that style of music is rarely heard nowadays and it has been a joy to not only hear it performed, but to see Matthew learning to love it as well. 

Matthew loves jazz music, and he has reveled in the opportunity to sing a lot of it this year. He has a lot of natural talent as far as singing goes, but he has learned a bit of technique and gained some skills that have enhanced that talent. One of the fun things about this evening’s selections was the fact that during one of his solos, I could definitely hear his trumpet skills coming out in his vocalizations. All the time he has spent learning to improv in band has carried over to his vocal improv and when he really started experimenting with it a few months ago, he discovered that it really is second nature to him. So that was a fun bit of music!

The fact that his senior year is almost over hasn’t really sunk in yet, but with this evening’s swan song, it is coming. As for me, I admit I was a bit emotional about this concert because I know that it is nearly the end of a good thing. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but most of Matthew’s close friends from school last year graduated. So, as his senior year started, he was a little bit lost socially. The circumstances of his acceptance into the vocal jazz group were such that he began the year with a bit of imposter syndrome riding on his shoulders. He wasn’t sure if the other students would accept his presence there. But these amazing choir kids just opened their hearts and welcomed my band kid into their world. While Matthew has loved the music, I think the culture and camaraderie were what he needed most. And for the safe place that he has found in the choir room and with these kids, I will always be grateful. 

I’m going to miss these concerts. But Malia has unabashedly declared herself a choir kid, so I know there will be more singing to come. I don’t know if she will want to try out for the vocal jazz group when she gets there, but we will see. Either way, I am looking forward to more choir concerts. And I’m really, REALLY looking forward to being able to unsubscribe from the high school band calendar. 😂

What a Wonderful Class

Tonight was Malia’s last choir concert of the school year. She was pretty stressed about his one because she felt like they weren’t ready, but honestly, there was only one part of one song that sounded crunchy. She told me afterwards that the choir teacher brought them in at the wrong time, so it was totally his fault and not theirs. And so, despite the worries, she was pleased that it went as well as it did. The concert was a themed “decades” concert and the choir teacher selected a song from each decade from about the 1940’s up to now. Malia’s choir sang “Africa,” a pop tune that was all the rage when I was a teenager, a medley of the choral music from the movie “Frozen,” and ended with “What a Wonderful World.” It was a fun assortment of songs.

Choir has been one of Malia’s happy places this year. Most of the kids there have been great to be with and she has made some good friends. The choir teacher is funny and good with the kids and just a little bit crazy which is a necessary quality for a middle school choir teacher. WACKY SMILEY Choir is her last class of the day, and it has been a fantastic way to finish her school day. In addition, it is one of those classes that has helped build her self-confidence. She is a bit more outgoing and a bit more willing to let people hear her sing. She isn’t quite as nervous before concerts and for the most part, the performances are fun for her. She isn’t quite so terrified of singing in smaller groups and she and a few of her classmates did well at solo and ensemble festival this spring. Overall, it has been a fantastic experience for her, and she has joyful claimed status as a “choir kid.”

Malia has some worries about how it will be next year because all the 9th graders will be gone, and she doesn’t have great confidence in the current 8th graders, but of course, she won’t really know how it is going to be until she gets there. I certainly hope that it will continue to be one of the joys in her day. And I hope that she will make even more friends as new kids join the choir. I suspect she is going to miss this part of her life a lot over the summer. 

Choral Encore

This evening was the high school choir Christmas concert. Matthew is only in the jazz choir and after the wonderful performance we attended last week, tonight’s event was kind of a lackluster performance for the vocal jazz group. It’s not that they performed poorly or anything like that, because they performed well. It is just that they only did a few of their group numbers, most of which we heard the other night, and didn’t perform any of the wonderful solos we got to experience at their earlier performance. We did get to hear a number of the other choirs perform though, and that was nice. Especially for Malia who will be heading into the high school choir program in a couple of years. So, while Matthew wasn’t a participant in most of what we heard, it was still fun. And besides, it doesn’t feel like Christmas without all the music!

A Jazzy Holiday

Matthew is in the jazz choir at the high school this year. The jazz choir is one of the two top level audition choirs and honestly, it has become the highlight of Matthew’s school days. Band has been different this year. With all his close friends gone and with some new, negative vibes associated with the ever changing dynamic common in high school performing groups due to the continually rotating membership, band is no longer a refuge. It is a huge stressor. And so, the choir room has become his safe place and the friends he has made in choir have become his preferred company.

The jazz choir is different from the other choirs in several ways. First of all, and most obviously, they exclusively sing jazz music in many different styles. Second, group singing is the focus only part of the time. Each term every student selects and prepares a jazz solo of some type to be performance ready. They didn’t have a performance for first term, which is a shame, but this term’s performance was this evening.

All the selections for this term were Christmas tunes. The performance was held in the choir room rather than the auditorium which lent the entire affair the intimacy of a jazz club setting rather than standard large choir feel. The group numbers were interspersed with the solos which ranged from lovely ballads to upbeat Christmas standards to downright silly holiday tunes. The kids had the opportunity to be accompanied by a standard jazz combo (piano, string bass, drums) and for some of them, I think this was their first experience singing with a combo. Matthew got to play his trumpet for one number as well and since he is a band kid as well as a choir kid, he was deeply involved in the coordination of the combo which included the band teacher on drums, one of the jazz band bass players, and one of the jazz band pianists, who is also in the jazz choir. Nearly all the selections were songs I am familiar with, and it was an absolutely delightful way to spend an evening. 

This school year has been a tough one for Matthew so far, but this evening he was filled with joy and light. And it was obvious when he sang. The choir teacher will never know just how much Matthew needed to be in this group this year. And it’s not about the music. It’s about the kids. And the safe place to be himself. And it’s about the joy that he hasn’t found anywhere else this year.

A Joyful Chorus

Going to choir has become the highlight of Malia’s school days. While she was a bit apprehensive at the beginning of the year as she is an 8th grader and the bulk of concert choir is composed of 9th graders, that apprehension has evaporated, and she just loves choir! This evening was her Christmas choir concert, and it was fun to see the joy choir brings her. Plus, I’ve been super slow kicking off our Christmas festivities this year and a dose of holiday music was just what I needed! 

Team Choir

This evening was Malia’s end of year choir concert. With one performance under her belt and a better idea of what to expect this time, she was not as nervous. She also really likes their music this time around and that makes a big difference. She actually looked like she was having fun! Next year she will have a full year of choir instead of half a year and she has started referring to herself as a choir kid rather than a band kid. I have always been perfectly happy with whatever kind of music or art my kids enjoy and have willingly supported them wherever their talent takes them, but I have to admit that having another choir kid kind of makes me feel like we are finding a balance between choir and all the band!

Malia was extra excited that Daniel and Nathan were both able to attend her concert. With their semester over, they were able to come down for a few days which has been super nice. Matthew’s end of year wind symphony concert was last night, and Nathan scheduled several appointments for these few days, so the timing worked out great! Malia misses her older brothers, so I know that she was very glad they were able to be there tonight. 

Comfort Zone

Malia is in choir this semester and it has ended up being one of her favorite classes. This evening was her first ever choir concert and while she was nervous, I also think she was excited. She stepped out of her comfort zone and into some nice slacks and a blouse instead of her normal jeans and a hoodie and she looked fantastic. Between the time that we left her and the time she showed up on stage, one of her friends pulled her hair back with a clip and that looked good too. Malia isn’t much concerned with things like that, normally just brushing it out and calling it good, but she has fantastic hair, and it doesn’t surprise me that the other girls want to play with it. It is a totally normal teenage girl kind of a thing. And maybe some of their hair knowledge will give Malia some ideas of simple ways to style her hair. 

Malia doesn’t like being the center of attention and a large part of her nervousness was the fact that she knew hundreds of people would be watching her. But once again she stepped out of her comfort zone. She did a great job and discovered that under the stage lights, you can’t actually see all that much of the audience. She still needs to learn to focus on the director all the time, but that is one of those things that takes practice too. She has only been in choir for about six weeks, so there is plenty of time for her to learn some of these choir etiquette things. She has also chosen concert choir as one of her electives for next year, so she will have lots of opportunities to learn and progress and grow and find joy in music. 

And as for the one song she sang that she absolutely hates, it really was one of the dumbest songs I’ve heard in a long, long time. She has my full support in disliking it.

Daniel's Turn

The Logan institute choir was invited to sing for this evening’s session of general conference. Daniel has been singing with the institute choir the entire time he has been at USU and has loved it. It has been one of those places where he can relax, let go of some of his worries for a while, and let the Spirit flow. When he found out they had been invited to sing, he was super excited but not certain that he would be invited to participate. When news about the invite got around, interest in the choir suddenly increased exponentially. There were so many people who were interested in singing for conference that they had to hold auditions. Daniel told us there were about 1600 people who auditioned for the coveted 360 seats, but he’s a guy and he can sing, so I didn’t think he would have too trouble getting in, and that turned out to be completely accurate. 

This ended up being a great experience for Daniel. Not only did he have a wonderful time, but he found new meaning in one of the hymns they sang, one of which he had not been particularly fond of before this choir experience. Memorizing the lyrics and rehearsing regularly allowed the meaning of “Jesus, Once of Humble Birth” to sink into his heart. I love how music does that. I have always believed that music can convey the Spirit in ways that nothing else can, and I also believe that because of its ability to invite the Spirit, music has the power to change the hearts both of those who hear and those who perform. I’m so glad Daniel continues to find joy in music and for this amazing opportunity that he had. I hope it will always be remembered with joy!

Pure Joy

Last March I briefly mentioned that I applied for and was invited to participate in a multicultural choir that was slated to sing for General Conference in April 2020. I didn’t give a lot of details of that time, just mentioned it as I was dealing with the fallout of the COVID induced shut down. But now it’s time for me to tell the story.

In January of 2020, the church announced that there would be a multicultural choir singing for the April 2020 general conference. They were accepting applications from anyone who lived along the Wasatch front and was interested in participating. I applied, as did my sisters Rachael and Esther. In mid-February we were notified as to whether or not we would be able to sing. I was invited to participate, but neither of my sisters were. I had some very mixed feelings. I was so excited to participate but also so disappointed that my sisters would not be able to have the experience with me. I love them and am so grateful for them though, as they both encouraged me to do it anyway, which of course I was anxious to do. I accepted the invitation and rehearsals began a few weeks later.

At the first rehearsal, the sister who works for the church and coordinates the choirs told us how the multicultural choir came to be. In October 2019 general conference, Pres. Nelson had announced that conference in April 2020 would commemorate the 200th anniversary of the First Vision. He invited all of us to prepare by studying the restoration. He also announced that the Saturday evening session would be a very special one associated with that anniversary. The church choir coordinator was making plans to invite a certain area to provide a choir as she always does, but the prophet changed her plans when he personally requested that a multicultural choir be assembled for that special session. She quickly shifted gears and once the announcement was made, the applications started rolling in. There were only 360 spots available in the choir and the church music department received 6300 applications. They had no idea the response would be so overwhelming, and they worked long hours to select who would be invited to participate.

At that first rehearsal she told us that they had been guided by the Spirit and knew that there was a reason each one of us was in attendance. They didn’t know they reasons, but they knew there were reasons and said that some of us might know why and some of us might not. At that point, I had no idea why I had been included.

Some other tidbits that were shared with all of us during that first rehearsal were the facts that the choir was compiled with careful attention to what the membership of our worldwide church looks like. There were representatives from six continents. I don’t remember the exact numbers at that time, but there were a multitude of countries and languages represented. As I looked around at all the others in attendance, it was clear that my half Chinese heritage was actually one of the less exotic ones. I was born in Utah, have spent most of my life here, and speak only English. And yet I had been included in this amazing group. I honestly felt a little bit unworthy of my spot. However, the Lord is infinitely merciful and later that evening after I returned home and was preparing for bed, through the Spirit the Lord shared with me why I was able to be a part of such an amazing event. I won’t share that reason here as it is very personal, but I had no doubt as to why I was asked to sing. It was one of those “spiritually defining memories” (Neil L. Anderson, April 2020 General Conference) that confirmed to me that the Lord loves me and knows me better than anyone else, better even than I know myself.

We only had six rehearsals in which to learn all the music, so things moved fast. Unfortunately, COVID moved even faster. After our third rehearsal, the prophet made the decision to close general conference to the general public. At that point we were informed that we would still sing for general conference with just the speakers and the choir in attendance. Within just a few days the plan changed again, and we were going to prerecord our numbers so they could be played during general conference. But the world was shifting too quickly and overnight, everything was shut down due to COVID. That meant our choir was shut down as well. We were told that we were tentatively rescheduled for October 2020, but I was still enormously disappointed. It was just one of a multitude of disappointments my family was dealing with at the time and as I tried to help my kids weather the unknown world we suddenly found ourselves living in, I kind of had to push it to the background of my mind and keep moving forward.

As we all know, things had not improved by October 2020 and general conference was again a broadcast with just the speakers in attendance. April 2021 followed the same pattern and after that, I kind of gave up hope. It had been over a year, and it seemed the choir was a thing of the past. During that year the choir members had been invited to participate in several virtual choir projects (one that ended up being a part of a worldwide young adult broadcast) and that was super cool, but it felt like the opportunity to sing live would never materialize.

But the Lord had other ideas, and in June I received an email letting me know that we had been given the green light to sing live in the October 2021 general conference. I was so excited and replied that I was definitely still interested in participating. At last, it looked like we would be able to sing! But COVID wasn’t done with us yet. In August, as infection rates began to rise once again, the leaders of the church felt a need to make changes to the choir in an attempt to make it safer for all of us. Instead of 360 members, the choir would need to be cut in half in order to make social distancing possible. The church music department listed a number of other COVID accommodations that would be made and again asked for responses about whether or not we wanted to participate. Not surprisingly, there were far more people who still wanted to participate than they could accept. There was a long week of waiting as once again they let the Spirit guide them as they cut the choir down to 180 members.

With 50% of us getting the ax, I fully expected to be cut from the choir. Yes, they did say they would hopefully be able to ask those people cut from the choir to participate in the future, but no one knew when that would be, and it seemed easier to assume I would not get to sing rather than get my hopes up. But the Lord’s ideas are often different than my own and once again, I was invited to participate. I’m going to be completely honest when I say that it has been a very humbling experience to be chosen not once, but twice to participate in this choir. It is a confirmation to me that the Lord sees me, knows me, is mindful of me. I’m not just a face in the crowd to him. I’m important and loved. Yet another “spiritually defining memory.”

Now let me tell you about all our COVID accommodations. First of all, every one of us was required to be fully vaccinated. We would be socially distancing during all rehearsals and performances. We would also be rehearsing in the Tabernacle on Temple Square rather than a normal church building so we could have assigned seats to facilitate contact tracing in case of positive cases. We were required to wear masks except when actively singing. If we were exposed to a positive case of COVID, we were required to wait three days and then test ourselves before returning to rehearsals. If we were sick at all, even the sniffles, we were asked to stay home just in case. Rehearsals were recorded so those at home for illness or waiting to test could still learn the music. As our performance date approached, we would be regularly COVID tested to ensure we were all well. We were told numerous times during our first few rehearsals in August that we were the guinea pigs for the Tabernacle Choir. If we could meet and perform safely, they would be able to do so as well. So now I can honestly say that I’ve been a test subject in a medical experiment. I believe human testing is legal in this case as we were all fully consenting adults. 😂

We were also told that we were a historical choir. Not only were we an unprecedented multicultural choir, we were the first church choir to return since COVID hit and the first to rehearse in the pandemic. We were also the first conference choir (other than the Tab Choir) to rehearse in the Tabernacle. And when we moved to the Conference Center for rehearsals a few weeks later, we were the first again. We were the first church choir to participate in a “test to sing” protocol and just two days after our first testing date when we proved that all the precautions were working by having everyone test negative, the Tabernacle Choir was able to hold their first rehearsal in over a year and a half. I guess we did a pretty good job as guinea pigs. 😁

Singing in this choir has been a great experience. One of my favorite moments occurred in one of our first rehearsals this year. We would sing hymns to warm up as people arrived and checked in. One week there was a request to sing “I Am a Child of God” with everyone singing in their native language. To be in the middle of that group and be one of only a very few singing in English was very powerful, a tangible reminder that the church is a worldwide church and that in the gospel, none are excluded. No matter where we are from, what language we speak, or what we look like, all are welcome and loved in Christ’s church. We are all children of God. I don’t necessarily forget that, but sometimes I think that because I have spent the majority of my life here in Utah where the church is based, I don’t see the reality of how varied our church really is. And what a touching reminder singing with this amazing group of people has been.

Another of my favorite moments occurred at our last rehearsal. Each week one or two choir members were asked to bear their testimonies at the beginning of rehearsal. On this last evening, a brother from Rwanda was invited to share his testimony. He told us he was in Rwanda during the genocide that occurred in 1994. During a short 100 days, over a million people were killed. He said that as a result of that horrible event, a lot of children were abandoned on the streets, and he was one of them. He lived on the streets for a few years and at some point in his life, he met a group of church members and was converted. He then referred to the third verse of one of our songs, “Consider the Lilies,” that says “Consider the sweet, tender children who must suffer on this earth. The pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth.” He bore his testimony that the Savior does indeed know and care about each and every one of those children, and he knows that because he was one of those children. He told us that when he watched general conference broadcast from the conference center, he never could have imagined that he would be standing in the conference center, singing in general conference. It was a powerful reminder that I’ve led a very easy life, a charmed life you could say, where I never went hungry, was never without a home or a family, my physical needs were always met, and I grew up feeling safe and secure. I never had to sacrifice family and friends in order to be a follower of Christ. I was never forced from my home by political upheaval or a natural disaster. I was never a refugee in a country where no one spoke my language. And these things are the realities of life for so many. I was so humbled as I thought of how blessed I have been and so in awe of the spiritual strength of all those who have weathered the worst kinds of storms and still remained optimistic and strong in the gospel. I hope as I move forward, I will look at my life with a great deal more gratitude than I have in the past.

After just six rehearsals, conference day arrived. The tabernacle became COVID central as we all arrived to test prior to rehearsal. If our test came back negative, we were given a blue sticker to put on our security badges. Throughout the day, security was looking for those blue stickers just as much as they were checking badges. Once we acquired our much-coveted blue sticker, we headed over to the conference center for a short rehearsal, lunch, and an even shorter camera check before conference began.

I thought I would be nervous knowing that the entire world would be watching, but I wasn’t anxious at all. As we settled into our seats and the organ began to play the prelude music, all I felt was peace and calm. It was akin to the feeling I get in the temple. The audience was very small, just a few general authorities and their families, and so there was no rustle that accompanies a large crowd. Everyone was sitting quietly, listening to the music. Add to that the presence of the prophet, apostles and other church leaders as they began to take their seats, and the Spirit was there in spades. That auditorium became a sacred space, and I was completely at peace.

This was the first conference held in the auditorium since October 2019 and it was also the first to have live music in that same period of time. I feel so blessed to have been a part of that. Music can invite the Spirit like nothing else can, and as we sang, we were not performing, we were worshipping. I love singing, always have. But as often happens with life, it has been pushed to the background by other responsibilities. While I’ve sung with numerous ward and stake choirs over the years, I’ve missed singing with a large choir. But I didn’t realize just how much until I was offered the chance to sing with this choir. Being able to raise my voice with all those others in praise of our Savior brought joy to my heart. Afterwards, I had a variety of people tell me that I looked happy as I sang. And they were exactly right. I was happy, joyful in fact. What a glorious experience it was. The only thing I missed was having my family there with me. Due to COVID, we were unable to invite any of our family to be present in the conference center and I wish they could have been there with me.

As with so many good things, it all went by too quickly. Before I knew it, the session was over. But we were blessed in one more way. As soon as the prayer was said, Pres. Nelson gathered up his wife and they made a beeline for the choir loft. Pres. Nelson spoke to our director, gave her an elbow bump which is the COVID equivalent of a handshake, and then waved and blew kisses to the choir. I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried, but I was in good company as most of the choir, both men and women, had tears in their eyes. What a tender mercy that the prophet took a moment to acknowledge us. After all we had been through and how long we had waited to be there, it was a sweet moment that brought more joy to my heart. Pres. Nelson had requested just such a choir and while it took much longer than we had planned to get to sing, he honored us in those few words and actions.

As soon as the prophet and his wife left the auditorium, the sister who coordinates the conference choirs came back in, her eyes wide with astonishment. Concerning Pres. Nelson’s visit to the choir loft, she said, “That never happens!” That made our small moment with the prophet that much sweeter knowing that it was not a frequent occurrence. I will cherish that memory.

Once the church leaders were gone, security gave us the ok to leave the loft and we were led back to the lobby of the conference center. As previously planned, we gathered outside for an unofficial group photo. It just so happened that there was a KSL camera man onsite and some of the choir members, all juiced up on joy and adrenaline, decided we should sing for him. Everyone was happy to comply, of course, and we sang “I Am a Child of God” in native languages and then “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet.” Our director joined us and when she asked if we wanted to know what the prophet had said, there was an enthusiastic shout of, “Yes!” She said that he asked where she got the choir and said we sounded like the Tabernacle Choir. What a sweet compliment. I don’t know if it’s true or not, I haven’t listened to the recordings yet, but whether true or not, it was a very kind and heartfelt comment.

As I’ve said before, it was all over too soon. The hours had flown by and before I knew it, I was headed home. I spent the remainder of the weekend listening to conference with my family and found joy there as well. Not only was I with my most favorite people in the whole world, but conference was a great reminder that living the gospel will bring us joy. There were quite a few speakers who quoted Pres. Nelson who said, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” As I pondered on that, I was reminded that sometimes joy is a choice. In fact, often it’s a choice. It makes me so grateful for the “find the good” attitude Kev has been encouraging all of us to cultivate over the past year and a half.

Just a couple more highlights from conference. There were several comments that seemed meant just for me and my circumstances. It seems there is concern amongst the church in general that matches the concerns my ward leadership has in our own neighborhood which is a confirmation to me that the Spirit is guiding all of us in our respective callings. There were things said that match my own thoughts which was a confirmation that the Spirit has been teaching me pure truth. And I was given the opportunity to raise my hand to sustain the church leaders while I was in the same room with them. That was pretty neat!

In his closing remarks at the end of conference, Pres. Nelson posed the question, “How will we be different because of what we have heard and felt?” I have several things that have stuck in my mind that I hope will guide and direct me as I move forward. There are ways that I can improve, and I hope will remember the promptings I have received and be humble enough to act on them. How blessed we are to live in the time of the restoration of Christ’s church. How blessed we are to live in a time when there is a living prophet and living apostles on the earth. How blessed we are to have the opportunity to hear them speak every six months. How blessed we are to have the technology that puts their words at our fingertips at any time. And how blessed I have been that the peace and calm I felt during the session I attended on Saturday remained with me all weekend.

The choir was allowed to listen to the very beginning of the Saturday morning session while we waited for everyone to finish with their COVID testing. As Pres. Nelson opened the conference, he urged everyone to seek for pure truth, pure doctrine, and pure revelation during this conference. For me, I feel to add that I have looked for, and found, pure joy as well.

 

And All That Jazz

Due to the C-word, I can count all of Nathan’s senior year concerts on one hand. And honestly, he wasn’t super excited about any of them. There was a plethora of reasons for his lack of enthusiasm, only a few of which were some crazy stressful social situations, not enough time to learn all the music due to school closures, and pressure about his choice to wear a mask when no one else was. This evening’s concert was the exception to that. This evening was Jazz Night, the end of year concert for the two jazz bands and the Vocal Jazz Choir, which was where Nathan fit in. And this concert, the one he has been looking forward to, almost didn’t happen.

Originally Jazz Night was supposed to be a super fancy catered dinner kind of event held at the high school. However, the ever-rising COVID numbers led to another round of cancelled events and Jazz Night was on the chopping block. The music teachers tried to move it outside to the bandstand at our newest city park, but the city gave them a hard no. With numbers on the rise, large gatherings were strictly off limits. Nathan was preparing for yet another disappointment when the news came that the concert at the bandstand had unexpectedly been given a green light. Apparently, the police officer assigned to the high school had seen how hard the kids had worked to prepare for the concert. He was also aware of how many things had been cancelled and how much the kids had lost that year. He had an extremely good rapport with the city and lobbied hard to get them to allow the concert to happen. His efforts were fruitful and although I’ve never met him and don’t even know his name, I’m so grateful for his efforts.

The band boosters did a quick about face and turned the fancy catered dinner into an outdoor event with live music, burgers and hot dogs, snow cones and other treats, and a silent auction. Honestly, it was so much more fun than a fancier event would have been. And due to the cost (the catered dinner would have been $50 per couple and the outdoor event was free with fundraising coming from the auction and all the treats and eats for sale), we were able to take the entire family. All the vocal numbers were accompanied by the advanced jazz band which was super fun for the singers. There were vocal jazz group numbers as well as a variety of solos and small ensembles featuring members of vocal jazz. Nathan participated in several ensembles and had a solo. He selected “Bei Mir Bist Du Shein,” a fantastic number. It was a crowd pleaser and earned him cheers and applause.

It was such a fun night for both audience and performers. Nathan enjoyed himself and came away with the performance high that has been lacking all year. The few other concerts he has had were so filled with stress that he didn’t get much enjoyment from them. But tonight was good for him. Vocal jazz has been his favorite choir by far this year, mostly because the music has been challenging and varied. And being able to actually perform was a boon, one that he does not take for granted. He is so grateful that this particular concert was not lost to COVID. I’m grateful too. It has been hard to watch him become increasingly more discouraged and downhearted as so many hopes for high school have been crushed by circumstances beyond his control. So one night, one magical night where the powers that be agreed to allow these kids to shine was a blessing.

 

‘Tis Sweet to Sing

You may recall that I was invited to participate in a multicultural choir that was scheduled to sing for general conference last April. You may also recall that the world tumbled into chaos and completely shut down three weeks before that specific conference. It was one of many events cancelled and was one of my own personal disappointments. But the choir was tentatively rescheduled to sing for conference in October, so I was hopeful. As we all know, the world situation had not improved by October and general conference was once again an all-virtual event with no live music. Once that passed, the hopes that the choir would be rescheduled seemed to vanish and I resigned myself to that fact. After how many things my children had lost though, my own disappointment over this seemed small indeed.

In mid-October, I received an unexpected email. Those who had been asked to sing with the multicultural choir were invited to participate in a virtual choir. It was for an internal project, one that would not be broadcast but would be viewed by upper church leadership. Our children were also invited to participate if they desired to do so. I, of course, was thrilled to be able to do something, to sing for something, even if it was all alone in my basement. Nathan and Malia were also excited about the project and jumped on the bandwagon. We learned the songs and then spent a morning doing all the recording. It was something different, a break in the normal COVID routine, and a most welcome one. We submitted our finished files and I figured that was the end of it.

Apparently, the church leaders who viewed the virtual choir recordings were happy with how they turned out because last month, I got another email asking for permission to use some of those recordings in an upcoming worldwide broadcast. I sent permission for both Nathan and I (it was the one song Malia didn’t learn and record) and then as requested, kept my silence.

This evening there was a worldwide devotional for young adults. The virtual choir recording was one of the musical numbers. Nathan was at work during the broadcast, but his social network started contacting him as soon as they recognized his happy, singing face. I am so glad that it was a positive thing for Nathan. It was neat for me to be a part of something like that, but I am far more pleased that Nathan was able to be a part of it. He has lost so much in the past year and I wish that I could give it all back to him. I can’t, of course, but I’m grateful I was able to be a part of giving him this one small thing. Although nothing can replace the feeling of singing with a real, flesh and blood choir, the current modified way of doing things still gave us an opportunity to participate in something real, to share our talents and contribute to what I hope was a spiritual experience for people the world over.

The Lord has blessed my family and I abundantly in terms of musical talent and while my opportunities to share that talent currently seem very small indeed, I’m grateful for the chance to come together with so many others to share our testimonies and love of the Lord through our talents. It was a reminder to me that even though we all feel isolated by this pandemic, we are actually all in this together. Even though we are still physically separated in so many ways, we can still reach out to one another and connect in meaningful ways, sharing our love and supporting those all around us. It reminds me of a song, one that seems fairly on point for our current world situation. It may seem cheesy, but sometimes I think that truth can be found in unexpected places.

Just One Voice,
Singing in the darkness,
All it takes is One Voice,
Singing so they hear what's on your mind,
And when you look around you'll find
There's more than

One Voice,
Singing in the darkness,
Joining with your One Voice,
Each and every note another octave,
Hands are joined and fears unlocked,
If only

One Voice
Would start it on its own,
We need just One Voice facing the unknown,
And that One Voice would never be alone
It takes that One Voice.
Would never be alone
It takes that One Voice.

 

 

Hark! The High School Angels Sing

Last night we had a 2020 miracle. Nathan actually got to have a concert. All the kids were masked, seating was limited, and the audience was socially distanced, but it was still a concert. Not being able to perform has been one of the hardest parts of his performing arts classes this year. It is really hard to stay motivated enough to work on the music when you know no one is ever going to hear it. One of the conditions that had to be met before the concert was that the kids participating had to be tested for COVID and have a negative result. That helped stem some of the anxiety about being so close to so many people on stage and allowed the kids to have a moment to share what they have been working on. It was good for us to, being able to have a bit of normalcy in this Christmas season. Because who doesn’t love Christmas music?