Language Artist

Malia is not taking an art class in school this year. Having said that, her artistic tendencies are showing up in all her classes. The first week of school, she spent a good amount of time perfecting the sketches on her get to know you tessellation for her math class. Last week, her world history assignment highlighting one of the world’s major religions got the artistic treatment. And this week, her plot pyramid for language arts became a masterpiece dedicated to one of her all-time favorite movies. She spent most of the weekend perfecting it. And the only part she traced was the lettering. The rest was all her.

While many kids will do the bare minimum art wise to complete the assignment, Malia gives each one her all. Because even when it is just a homework assignment, she finds joy in the art. And sometimes her effort pays off in other more tangible ways in addition to the intrinsic satisfaction she gets from the process of creating something wonderful. For instance, her language arts teacher gave her classes a bit of motivation in the form of a contest. Her TAs would vote on which submissions they liked best, and the winner from each class would receive a quiz pass.

During their last class on Tuesday, Malia’s teacher hinted that the “Tangled” one was going to be hard to beat. That gave Malia a boost of confidence. Today the official winners were announced, and Malia was totally jazzed to see her assignment hanging up on the wall. She also told us that not only did she win for her class, but hers was the only one that received a unanimous vote from the Tas, and her teacher has taken a picture of it to use as an example for future classes. Talk about an ego boost! And the cherry on top is the fact that she won’t need to take next week’s quiz. 😉

“He Hears, Sees, and Knows You”

Every mother of a missionary knows that when your phone rings and the caller id shows the call coming from within the mission area, your heartrate immediately begins to escalate. Every missionary mama also knows that when it is the mission president on the other end of the call, the anxiety skyrockets. So, when I answered a video call from Arkansas this afternoon and found myself face to face with Pres. M, my heart jumped into my throat. Being a wise man, the very first thing he did was assure me that nothing was wrong. He said that mission presidents don’t often get to make the good calls home but today was one of those calls. By then, the rest of my family was also on high alert, and Kevin joined me on the call. Pres. M told us that he was sitting there with Elder ***** and turned his phone to allow Matthew to join the view. He explained that they had just finished their interview and thought that it was Labor Day so maybe they should call home. He then proceeded to say, “We looove Elder *****!” He described Matthew as a hard worker and a great missionary and thanked us for raising such an amazing son. I was teary eyed by then, of course, but I wasn’t feeling stressed anymore. And honestly, the huge smile on Pres. M’s face helped solidify the fact that all was well. 

Pres. M then shared that they are praying for his ankles because the Lord needs Matthew in Arkansas more than anywhere else right now. (Matthew has developed tendonitis in his ankles and has been working with a physical therapist to try to resolve the issues.) I mentioned that we are also praying for Matthew’s ankles, and he commented with a grin that there are a lot of people praying for these ankles. He shared with us that he loves reading Matthew’s weekly emails because Matthew asks good questions and has a deep understanding of the gospel, and about three more times told us, “We looove Elder *****!” Malia popped her head in, and I invited her to come meet Pres. M. He mentioned that Matthew had told him she had just started high school and asked her how high school was treating her. Her response was, “Better than I expected!” I was so impressed that Pres. M knew enough about our family to remember that Malia had just started high school. He ended the call by telling us that missionaries are blessed but that the families who are sacrificing their sons, children, brothers are blessed as well. It was a sweet reminder to me that the Lord is mindful of Matthew, of course, but that he is also mindful of us as we pray for and worry about and miss our missionary while he is gone.

When we spoke to Matthew last Wednesday, he was looking pretty rough around the edges. He has worked so hard to be positive in all his emails and when he calls and he has rarely complained about anything, but he looked so downtrodden and was so subdued that Kevin prompted an early end to the call with all our other kids so that we could have a few minutes alone with Matthew. Apparently, his newest companion is chronically late and Matthew, who is perpetually early, was incredibly frustrated and discouraged. Up until now, he has never been late to mission meetings, member meals, doctor’s appointments, etc. But now, he is always waiting on his companion and is always running 10-30 minutes late for everything. His companion’s tendency to procrastinate everything exacerbates the problem and Matthew has no idea how to handle the situation. He has tried everything he can think of to motivate his companion, but nothing seems to help. So, frustration and discouragement have been Matthew’s constant companions for the past several weeks. We counseled with him as best we could, offering support and reminders that he is not alone, but when it was time to end the call, he still looked extremely down. As such, I have been worrying about him, as has Kevin.

I think that often the Lord knows what we need before we do, because I didn’t realize how much I needed to see the light back in Matthew’s eyes until I saw him with Pres. M today. That defeated look was gone from his countenance, and he was smiling and radiating light like he usually does. I came away feeling lighter and relieved myself, and I am so grateful for a mission president who is prompted to make a call to a missionary’s family far away so that a missionary mama can be reassured that her son is ok. And as a last comment, that grin Pres. M has when he speaks in conference? That is his natural demeanor. He is always smiling. He is one of those people who seems continually filled with joy. What an amazing example he is to all of us whose lives he is touching. His call to serve as the president in Matthew’s mission was unexpected for all of us, but I think the Lord knew that just like Matthew, he is needed in Arkansas more than anywhere else right now.

Dreamer

Remember a while back when Malia left some pictures and a little love note on my whiteboard? I recently had a dream that someone erased my whiteboard and when I woke up, I was super sad. As such, I decided I had better just buy a new one. Because sometimes my to-do list requires more than half the board. Malia has taken that as a sign that the first board can be filled with more art…and our DARE song incident report counter. 😂

In my defense, today's rendition of the DARE song was all Malia. It's usually me, but today I can honestly plead not guilty. 😉

“This Means Something”

And what does a giant oatmeal cookie that looks more like a volcano than a cookie mean? It means that today’s experiment baking with the latest batch of homemade margarine did not go according to plan. 😂

The second batch turned out much better, thankfully, because the first ones definitely won’t fit in the box I intend to use to mail these giant cookies to Matthew. 

It’s a good thing that cookies that look more like geographical features than confections are still tasty because it looks like massive oatmeal cookies are on the menu tonight!

P.S. Name the movie and I’ll bake you a mountain-shaped cookie. 😜

“Your Best Days are Ahead”

At the last general conference in April, Emily Belle Freeman spoke about “Best Days and Worst Days.” It was one of those talks that felt like it was given just for my sisters and I. We had a lot of worst days in March as Esther was diagnosed with cancer and test results were less positive than we hoped. There were a lot of tears shed, and a lot of heartfelt prayers offered. I found hope in Sis. Freeman’s message that no matter how difficult things are now, that our best days are ahead. That is the promise of the gospel through the atonement of Jesus Christ. But despite that promise, mortality is hard. We do our best to keep an eternal perspective in mind, but often those best days don’t come when we want them to. Sometimes we are asked to wait many months or years. And sometimes those blessings won’t come until well past our mortal lives. But they will always come. That was the crux of her message.

One thing I have been reminded of often in the past six months is that even the little wins constitute a best day. Some of the little wins that I have seen despite the difficulties of the past months is the fact that my sisters and I have pulled together. While we have had our moments of conflict from time to time, for the most part we have gotten along well. We all consider our sisters friends, but I think our relationships have been strengthened. We all have different talents and skills and there has been a need for all of them at one time or another. I feel like it is only together that we have been able to meet this trial head on.

Another small win has been seeing just how many people are ready and willing to serve and lift any one of us when we need help. Not only has our family mobilized to provide Esther with the support and help she has needed, but her friends and her ward members have risen up and filled in all the gaps. There has been an outpouring of love for her as she has faced this huge bump in her road.

A personal win has been the fact that as I have turned to the Lord in sorrow and fear, He has taught me just a little bit more about the kind of peace that I can find as I yoke myself with Him and lean on Him no matter what is happening in my life or the lives of those I love.

So despite the less than positive circumstances, there have been best days of a sisters’ outing to Color Me Mine, days when rides to a multitude of medical appointments were covered by many different people who selflessly took time away from their own lives to fill a need, and a day when I was taught just a little bit more about exactly what it means to find peace through Jesus Christ and was blessed with more peace than I had felt in months, maybe even years.

The chemo unit at IMed has a celebration bell that their patients get to ring as they walk out of their last treatment. Esther got to ring the bell today. 

Today was a best day.

And there are more to come.

Prodigious Pastry

Today Malia got to enjoy the leftovers of her birthday treat. With the cinnamon roll on a plate rather than in the pan, it is easier to see just how gigantic it is. For reference, that is not a dessert plate. It is a normal 9-inch lunch plate. And she assures me it was just as good today as it was yesterday. 

Birthday Buns

As of yesterday, Malia is officially fifteen. Old enough to learn to drive. Starting high school. Navigating the complex social structure of the teenage world. Juggling social engagements with homework. Thinking about what to do after high school. It seems like just yesterday that she was laughing to wake me in the morning. Charming her older brothers into doing everything for her. Stealing Matthew’s Ironman action figure. Starting kindergarten at four years old. Filling sketchbook after sketchbook with drawings of dragons. The time has gone by so fast. It is a bit hard to believe that if I round by fives, she is closer to 20 than she is to 10. Closer to moving out. Closer to being an adult. Closer to discovering whatever life has in store for her. It can be a bit overwhelming to think about the fact that Kevin and I are only a few years away from being empty nesters. But I digress. I was talking about a birthday. A fifteenth birthday to be precise.

While we sang the official song and ate the official cake at my parents’ house a couple of weeks ago and Malia’s birthday present came earlier this summer in the form of a new phone, there were some traditional celebratory elements to her actual birthday. Malia started off her day with a birthday shopping trip and lunch with Kevin’s mom. Nathan was invited to join the event as chauffeur, so the three of them hit Barnes and Noble, Smith and Edwards, and ate lunch at Raising Cane’s, one of Malia’s favorites. While she was out, Kevin went a bit wild and came home with a plethora of balloons. Seriously. So many balloons. It was highly entertaining! My birthday balloons lasted almost seven months before the last one lost its lift this year and Kevin’s mom’s balloons lasted eight months. Malia is hoping one of hers can beat that eight-month mark. We’ll see how it goes. Check back around Easter and we'll see if there are any still hanging around. 😂

While Malia was gone, one of the young women leaders in the ward dropped by a small gift for her and stuck a “Honk, it’s my birthday” sign in our front yard. Malia liked the small gift as this particular leader is in the know where her allergies are concerned and as such, all the treats included were ones she could eat. However, she was not a fan of the sign. She isn’t one to publicize her birthday, and it was just a bit too public. But we enjoyed it and Nathan made sure to honk when they got home after lunch and saw the sign. Kevin was inclined to honk as well but caved to Malia’s preferences and gave a vocal honk rather than a vehicular one. 😉

Over the past few years, Malia has discovered that she likes collecting coins. (It is an interest she shares with Matthew, which is fun for both of them.) As such, a trip to the coin shop to see what they have in stock is always fun. So, after lunch, Kevin took Malia up to a local coin shop that they like. They arrived home just in time for the three of us plus Nathan (have I mentioned that we are all enjoying having him closer to home? Because we are. 😄) to make our way to the Olive Garden, another of Malia’s favorites, for dinner. Knowing that she would be full to bursting with breadsticks, cheese sticks, and alfredo after dinner last night, Malia opted to hold off on her birthday dessert until today. But the evening of her birthday held several more surprises. I had one small present for her, “It's My Bird-day,” a book in the pigeon book series she has loved since elementary school. It was also a book she read to me while we were in Target a couple of weeks ago, one she commented would be fun to have. As a birthday gift. Wink, wink. Daniel and Tawni called to wish her a happy birthday and Matthew, who arranged a time with us when he called last week, called to talk specifically to her for her birthday. Having the opportunity to call home on special days and holidays has been nice for us. And for Malia, who has missed Matthew, ending her birthday with a good long chat with her brother was the perfect gift.  

Speaking of Matthew, this next birthday element can be largely attributed to him. A number of years ago, when Matthew was still in middle school, he was invited to an awards ceremony. The school was planning to serve cinnamon rolls and knowing that Matthew wouldn’t be able to eat them, I provided some that he could eat. And also knowing that cafeteria cinnamon rolls are always big, I made our standard homemade cinnamon rolls gigantic. (The funny thing is that I packaged them in a plastic clamshell container like Kneaders uses for sandwiches and such, so when I initially offered them to Matthew, he looked at them and waved them away assuming they were not safe for him to consume. I guess that means they were up to cafeteria size standards. 😂) The long-lasting result of that particular endeavor is that since that day, I have not once made normal sized cinnamon rolls. My kids always want the ones that are as big as their faces. And honestly, who can blame them? Giant cinnamon rolls are so much more fun than the little ones! And that means when Malia requested cinnamon rolls for her birthday, it came as no surprise that she wanted BIG ones. So, this evening, we enjoyed a mega sized dessert. And it was mega good. I don’t begrudge any of the cooking or baking accommodations I have made over the years to allow Matthew to eat safely, but one of the things I have missed is real cream cheese icing. Especially slathered on a warm cinnamon roll. It was an ooey, gooey, two hands sticky while I ate it delight. Malia enjoyed it as well. Especially since we didn’t make her blow out any candles this time around. And because she got first choice, she selected the biggest one, as well she should. The second biggest one is on reserve for her to enjoy tomorrow. 😉

For the past 25 years, the role of mother has shaped my days, my nights, and my life. As I watch my youngest child grow up, I am suddenly reminded that in not too many years, I will be faced with the fact that my children no longer need me in the same way they have in past. The child raising portion of my life will be done and the relationships I have with my kids will change, as they should. I’m already seeing that shift with all my boys. But having only one daughter, I am finding it a mixed bag to see her grow up. One the one hand, I am loving the relationship that is developing between us. It is different than my relationship with my boys. And Malia is so, so funny! She is witty and sarcastic and not afraid to say what she really thinks, and it just makes me laugh. Every time she cries while reading a book or watching a movie, she turns around and blames it on me, which makes me laugh too. Her confidence has blossomed in the past several years and it has been so great to see her find her place in the world. On the other hand, I kind of miss those days when she watched Rapunzel twice or thrice daily, loved Ladybug Girl, wanted to be a princess every year for Halloween, and would let me experiment with cute hairstyles. The time seems to pass so quickly and on occasion, I feel like I blink and another year is gone. But it also means that I’m more grateful for the little things, the day-to-day opportunities to bond with my daughter, and I’m trying not to take any of them for granted. 

So happy birthday to my girl child. Hopefully the next year will hold even more joy and goodness.

It’s Still a Small World

Matthew sent us a picture via Messenger this morning promising he would tell us a story when we spoke. This evening he shared the story associated with the picture. Apparently, one of his seminary teachers is on his email list, but he honestly thought she wasn’t getting his mission emails. This week, she was at church headquarters and happened to run into previous President, now Elder H. She mentioned that she has a former student serving in Arkansas, and when asked for a name, mentioned Matthew. Elder H broke out into a big smile and proceeded to tell this sister that he loves Matthew. The seminary teacher sent the picture and the anecdote to Matthew via email, and it made his day. He has such great love and respect for Elder Hathaway, and it was so very heartwarming to know that he is held in high regard as well.

Sometimes the little things are the big things. A chance encounter was an opportunity for Matthew to be reminded that his former mission president, while now serving in a different capacity, still loves all those missionaries that he served with in Arkansas.