The Eye of the Storm

Over the past several days, I’ve kind of been the mind of reason in our house. In all honesty, that is not my usual job. I’m usually the one keeping a calm face on to prevent our kids from freaking out any more than they already are, and then being overwhelmed by anxiety when their backs are turned. With that in mind, I’ve spent a good deal of time ruminating about why I’m so at peace.

Kevin and I were able to go to the temple last night. He scheduled a family sealing session several weeks ago because his sister had a bunch of family names that needed sealings. I feel like it was a blessing that all our schedules happened to align and that we were able to get one last temple trip in before the temples close for proxy ordinances on Monday. We don’t know how long any of the current closures will last so I’m very grateful we were able to go. As we walked around in the temple, we could hear the wind wailing through the ventilated elevator shafts. The halls were still peaceful and in the ordinance rooms it was still quiet, but the sound of the wind in opposition to the peace in the temple made me feel like I was in the eye of the storm. That thought led me to the idea that the world is very much in turmoil and while we won’t be able to attend the temple for an undermined amount of time, our homes can and should be that same peaceful refuge from a world in commotion. Kevin, noticing the same opposition as I did, had two hymns come to his mind: “Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me” and “Master, the Tempest is Raging.” He felt like both of those hymns express very well how our children are feeling in our current circumstances. Things are out of our control and there is fear and anxiety about what may happen, but if we turn to our Savior, if we lean on him and trust in him, he will guide us through whatever is coming.

As we drove home, I had another thought. There will be a multicultural choir singing for the Saturday evening session of General Conference in a few weeks. The church started accepting applications in January and I applied, as did my sisters Rachael and Esther. I was invited to participate and while I’m super excited about that, the fly in the ointment was the fact that neither of my sisters were. Over 6300 applications were received, so obviously, choosing who would participate was a difficult process. On the evening of our first rehearsal, those who were involved with organizing the choir and choosing the participants told us that the Spirit was key in making all those decisions. Those of us who were invited to sing were there for the reason. The organizers didn’t know, and we might not even know, but each of us was supposed to participate. We were also told that we and our families would be blessed for our service in the choir.

As I thought on that, I think this uncharacteristic calm I’m feeling is one of those blessings. When it was announced earlier this week that general conference would be closed to the general public, we got an email from the choir organizers letting us know that the music is very important to the general authorities and that we would still be singing. When the governor banned group gatherings of more than 100 (there are 364 people in the choir) I thought that might be the death knell of the choir. But it was not long before we got another email informing us that “the First Presidency is very much still planning on having us sing live for conference.” (It was in bold, just like that.) There will need to be some adjustments made to our rehearsal schedule, but the choir is still a go. They also told us that if we are nervous about attending rehearsals with groups of people that we can contact the organizers and they will work something out, but honestly, if the prophet says we are still singing, that is good enough for me. I trust that he has our best interest in mind and since he has a pretty direct line to the highest authority, I trust that my health and well-being will be taken care of as far as choir participation goes.

I think that sense of calm trust in our prophet has translated into my life as a whole as a blessing of my willingness to sing in the choir. I don’t know how long it will last. Hopefully it will continue for the duration, but I’m pretty neurotic sometimes so we’ll see. And as for conference, it will most definitely be a general conference unlike any I’ve experienced before. And I’m not worried about where to park anymore. 😉