Matthew has wanted to drive since pretty much ever. Seriously. Let me present several quotes from long ago that support that theory.
“After I learn to go potty, then I’ll learn to drive.” -Matthew, age 3 ½
“When I get five, I will be bigger so I can buy keys and drive the car!!” -Matthew, age 3 ¾
He got his first remote control car when he was two years old, and he has never looked back. Since then, he has had many RC cars, many iterations of Lightning McQueen, many hot wheels, many sets of keys, many video games that focused on driving, etc. Pretty much if it had wheels and a steering wheel, he loved it.
Matthew’s birthday was yesterday, and it was a big one, especially for a boy who longs to drive. Sixteen is the magic number for those anxious to be legal drivers. Matthew got his learner’s permit about five seconds after he turned fifteen. He finished all his required driving hours more than six months ago. He learned everything he needed to know during all those driving hours and as such, taking driver’s ed was just a hoop to jump through rather than an actual educational experience. It has been a lesson in patience for him because driving the range after having spent nearly a year driving on the actual roads was incredibly mind numbing, waiting for the coaches to schedule his road drives was tedious and frustrating, and being unable to get his driver’s license today, which was his plan, was aggravating. But unfortunately, his driving test still has not been scheduled and he can’t do anything about it but wait some more, so today’s plan was unable to be realized. Needless to say, he is antsy. And feeling incredibly perturbed. And to be honest, Kev and I are a bit antsy as well. As any well-adjusted, highly involved high schooler should be, Matthew is all over the place all the time and Kevin has been the one acting as chauffeur for the past three years. We are all good and ready for Matthew to be able to drive on his own.
Driving frustrations aside, Matthew was not home at all yesterday. He was at the school from 6 a.m. until after 9 p.m. fulfilling a multitude of different responsibilities. He had early morning seminary and then school, an after-school rehearsal for the school musical for which he is on the stage crew, and then a required pep band performance at a basketball game. It was a long, long, looooong day for him. As such, we left a few treats out for him last night and did a tiny bit of celebrating today. Low key was his preference, so we kept it that way. I made his favorite for dinner, stove top lasagne, and then had Chinese almond cookies for dessert. We didn’t sing or anything, but he did humor me by letting me light a candle and take a few pictures. His birthday presents consisted of a big old bag of gummy frogs, a set of 1945 coins that Kev picked up when he was in Philadelphia last year, and a mini rice cooker. He loves gummy candies, especially sour ones, so the frogs were a perfect snack. He enjoys collecting coins and the old ones are cooler, so the 1945 set was neat. And he is our food allergy kid who is going on tour with the band in a couple of months and will need ways to feed himself for multiple days while on the road and away from us, so the mini rice cooker was perfectly practical…and he was actually really excited about it.
By the time Matthew joined our family, Kevin and I had become a bit weighed down by the responsibilities of life. It’s hard trying to juggle being parents of young children with full time work, full-time school, church callings, and financial matters, among other things. We had become far too serious. Then Matthew came along, and while he definitely came with his own set of challenges for us to face, he also came with his very own special brand of humor. Despite being colicky, he was the happiest of my babies. His smile could light up a room and except for his most fussy times, which I now attribute to an unhappy tummy due to allergies we did not yet know he had, he was a joyful little dude. He reminded us that we needed to laugh. And he helped us find that laughter again. Even now, I can look at the posts I wrote when he was small, and it gives me a good chuckle.
Over the years, Matthew has faced a variety of challenges related to his food allergies. Not many kids have to think about the possibility of death every time they eat something, but we had to be frank with him concerning his own mortality at a very young age. Obviously, that created some anxiety and fear, but as he has gotten older, we have tried to help him balance that fear with confidence that he knows how to keep himself safe. And he can most definitely do so. Despite the number of common foods that are unsafe for him, he has never had to use his epipens. Other than his first reaction at five months, he has never been in the ER for a reaction. He has had a few, but they have been mild and easily resolved with some Benadryl. And not one of them has been a result of negligence on his part. He has been careful, so very careful. And with sixteen years of training under his belt, it is time for him to look forward and see his allergies as something that he must plan for, but not something that will hold him back. That has always been my desire for him-that his life never be limited by his inability to eat certain foods. And as he makes plans for the future, he is aiming for the sky…literally. He wants to be a pilot and is already making plans to help him achieve that goal.
I’m so very proud of the person that Matthew is becoming. He has always loved helping other people and that has not changed as he has grown up. He is still willing and happy to serve others in whatever way he can. He feels a great weight of responsibility for those things that fall to him, so much so that sometimes we have to remind him that he can only do his very best and that is good enough. He expects good things from himself and on occasion we also have to remind him that progress is the goal, not perfection. His faith is strong and ever growing and over the past few months, he has begun sharing his faith and beliefs more frequently. I’m enormously grateful for that as he often shares his thoughts, insights, and feelings with Malia, and I think that is helping her faith to grow as well. He is one of the youths that our ward leadership knows can be relied on, and he is an amazing example for all those around him. Oh, and he loves to sing. He was focused on his trumpet for a good long while there, and he still is, always pushing himself and receiving progress in his playing as a result of the effort he puts in, but he has also remembered that he loves to sing. He fills the house with music all the time. Part of the soundtrack of my life has become the soundtrack of Matthew’s life. It was very quiet here for awhile after Nathan moved out and the piano was still much more often than not, but that silence has been filled with the sounds of Matthew’s joyful singing interspersed with trumpet fanfares. And I love it. I’m very grateful for the many ways that Matthew has made my life richer and more joyful. I love this food allergy kid of mine and the way he faces life with faith and courage.
Sometimes birthdays around here can be long, drawn-out events. But as my kids get older, birthdays have become much more fuss free. We did sort of celebrate Matthew’s birthday at my parents’ house this past Sunday, but again, he didn’t want us to sing or make a fuss so pretty much that consisted of me making a treat that I know he really likes-our favorite dairy free banana cream pie. And that was really it. And honestly, Matthew was happier that way. As much as he likes performing, in real life he doesn’t much like being in the spotlight. He’s like me that way. It may seem like an oxymoron, but I described it once by explaining that when I’m on stage, I’m playing a part. I’m someone else who’s putting on a show. But when the curtain drops, I’m back to being myself, the introverted, bookish, non-attention seeking girl who prefers a quiet evening at home to a night on the town. And Matthew is a bit that way. (Except for the quiet evening at home part. Like any self-respecting high schooler, he’s happiest hanging with his cronies. But I digress.) If you don’t believe me, scroll back through the blog and check out all the pictures I have of him when he was three or four. He is scowling in nearly all of them because he hated having his picture taken. He still dislikes being the focus of the photos, but like I mentioned before, he humored me and let me chronicle this life event with several pictures. And that is yet another reason that I love him.
So happy birthday to my funny, smart, stubborn, opinionated, talented, favorite third son named Matthew. There’s no one else like him!
