Three Square Meals

I have a confession to make. We ate kolaches for breakfast again. And lunch. And dinner. Yes, they were that good. And no, this is not normal for me. I don’t usually eat dessert three times a day. Or even three times a week. In general, I have a fairly healthy diet. But when I go on vacation, I have a tendency to make allowances. I mean, eating the local cuisine is part of experiencing a new locale and when I travel, I like to partake a bit more freely than I might at home. So yes. Kolaches three times today. But at least the ones we ate for breakfast had eggs, sausage, and ham so they were more than just empty carbs. 😜 (And FYI-because of how they are baked, kolaches from Pearl Snap are square.)

One of the reasons we scheduled our trip for this week is that the Fort Worth area is in the path of totality for today’s total solar eclipse. Based on their experience when Kevin took our boys to Wyoming to see the last total solar eclipse, we opted to just hunker down at the hotel and watch the eclipse from here. Many other guests did the same, so we were definitely in good company. Nathan’s need for some good Texas BBQ was not fulfilled by our dinner on Saturday evening, so we picked up some BBQ for lunch and brought it back to enjoy at the hotel while we watched the first part of the eclipse. There was even a small serving of green beans included with our order, so I had a few veggies. I’m not sure they were the healthiest veggies I’ve ever had as they were cooked with bacon, but they were tasty!

When all my men folk went to see the last eclipse, Malia and I stayed home. The big reason for that was the fact that it was August and since getting overheated is one of my migraine triggers, I knew that being outside all day in the middle of nowhere was going to be a miserable experience. I did check Malia out of school so we could watch the eclipse from here, but there is a big difference between 90% and totality where a solar eclipse is concerned. My boys came home with some amazing tales and spectacular pictures, but honestly, having seen a full solar eclipse with my own eyes, pictures can never do it justice. We were afraid that the weather would not cooperate today, but we lucked out and it was clear up until about a minute into totality when a cloud drifted over. So, while we didn’t get to see the full 3 ½ minutes of totality, we were lucky enough to experience some of it! And it was pretty darn cool!

I know there are plenty of people who think that the world and the universe are just one big fluke, a random event that just happened to end with people walking the earth, but I can’t believe that. For instance, the moon is the exact right size and the exact right distance from the sun so that a total eclipse is possible. If the size of the moon or the distance between the moon and the sun were even just a tiny bit different, it would be an impossibility. And I just can’t see things like that happening as a result of the big bang. As the Alma taught, “All things denote there is a God.” (Alma 30:44) And major celestial events like this are yet another reminder of the mindful creation that put us where we are. 

This afternoon we just hung out at the hotel. It was basically the relaxation portion of this vacation. I watched part of a movie, took a nap, and read for a while before we ate dinner. And guess what I had for dinner? BBQ? No! Potato salad? No! Kolaches? No! (Well, yes, but after my main course. 😉) A nice big salad? YES! And it was delightful. There is a Panera Bread in the parking lot of the hotel and that was our dinner stop. It made me soooooo happy! 

To wrap it all up, Nathan’s dream came true today. He worked on homework while we waited for the eclipse, so he did in fact do math in Texas. 😂

Not Our Normal Routine

Sometimes Sundays on vacation are different than Sundays at home. With so few days here in Texas, we did end up with several not normal Sunday type activities on our agenda. The first was a trip to Pearl Snap Kolaches for breakfast. Kolaches are kind of a Texas mainstay. I’ve read about how and why this traditional Czechoslovakian pastry ended up being so quintessentially Texan, but I’m not going to take time to explain that here. (If you must know, ask Google. That’s what I did.) What I will say is that Pearl Snap is one of the most popular kolache spots in the Fort Worth area and while it was within his area while he served there, Nathan never got to sample the goods because the odd hours of the bakery didn’t match up with missionary hours. As such, actually giving him a chance to visit Pearl Snap seemed like a necessity. And honestly, I really wanted to go as well. We are experiencing Texas after all and can’t go home without eating some kolaches!

We arrived just before 9:00, several hours after the kolache shop opened, and we were all glad we hadn’t arrived any later because they were already almost sold out. There were only a couple of sausage kolaches left (the ones that Nathan first sampled on the mission) and only one ham and egg one. We added in an assortment of fruit filled pastries and made our way to the Fort Worth botanical gardens to enjoy our breakfast in the great out of doors. We divided everything so we could try all the flavors and I think my favorites were the ham and egg and the pecan kolaches. I’m already thinking about finding a recipe when we get home so I can experience these delights again. And so Matthew and Malia can try them. 

After our less than healthy breakfast (honestly, we aren’t usually pastries for breakfast kind of folks, but rules get broken when we are on vacation), we wandered the botanical gardens for a few hours. There was a visiting live butterfly exhibit and we opted to do that before heading into the garden proper. I think the last time we visited a butterfly enclosure like this was on our Seattle trip many moons ago, and it is one of those things that never seems to get old for me. There were some stunning butterflies featured and one of the biggest moths I have ever seen in my life. The thing was seriously the size of a bird!

The remainder of the gardens were absolutely beautiful, although it is a bit early in the spring for some of them to be at their best. The Japanese garden was lovely, and Kevin said it is spot on for traditional Japanese. There was a pond and what we thought was a statue of a crane…until it moved. So real cranes in the Japanese garden! The weather was perfectly clear and not too hot. We only started to get a bit too warm as we were headed out of the gardens and since we are in Texas, I feel like we lucked out there!

From the botanical gardens, we headed to have lunch with some extended family. By way of reminder, Nathan and Todd ran into each other while Nathan was on his mission. They were both at a fireside about family history and at the end when everyone pulled out their phones to use the “family near me” feature of the Family Tree app, they ended up getting the notice that a very close family member was in the vicinity. Todd ended up supporting Nathan in multiple ways while Nathan was in Texas for which I’m so grateful. And it kind of put us back in touch with some extended family which has been nice. Scott, one of Todd's brothers, married one of my best friends and roommates from my last year of college. We don’t see them much since they live in Texas and we live in Utah, so it was nice to be able to stop in and chat for a bit. And one of the highlights of the afternoon? There were veggies at lunch time!! I’m so happy about that! I’ve been seriously missing the produce portion of my diet. 😉

Our last stop of the day was at the mission home. Although Nathan only served for six months, he has two mission presidents. In fact, Nathan was the very first missionary the second mission president interviewed when he arrived in the mission. And this young elder who was struggling health wise was one of the first issues he was faced with. Nathan has seen his first mission president since arriving home, but this was his first opportunity to visit with the second one since being released from his mission. We joined the president and his family for dinner (again, no veggies!), and Kevin and I pretty much sat back and listened while Nathan and the mission president chatted. It was a lovely, low key, gospel focused end for our sabbath. 

The only really weird thing about this weekend was the fact that General Conference is this weekend and while I usually listen to all of it while it is happening, we pretty much missed it all with all the visits we have been doing. It isn’t broadcast on local radio like it is at home, so even though we were in the car a ton and had loads of time to listen, we did not have a way to do so. I feel kind of sad about that, although I know that with the amazing technology we have nowadays I will be able to listen to all of it any time I want. In fact, yesterday’s sessions are already available in the Gospel Library app, so we started listening to those this morning as we prepped for the day. Having said that, all our visits have been wonderful!

Y’all Come Back and See Us Now!

Today was the day that Nathan scheduled visits with some of the folks he met and served with while he was in Texas. Since this was one of the big reasons we are in Texas, we told him to arrange visits with as many people as he wanted, and he opted to make multiple visits throughout the day. There were many offers for meals, which Nathan says is totally normal, so we started off our day with breakfast in Denton. Two of the families he worked closely with, hosted us and it was so good to put faces to a few of the names he mentioned on his calls home. They fed us well with waffles, eggs, biscuits and gravy and as had been requested in advance, Nathan had some piano music on hand and played several things for them. And since he isn’t an official missionary anymore, he was able to play something other than hymns!

One really good thing that came from this morning’s visit, other than just meeting some really great families, is the fact that they passed on to Nathan that the work he and his companion did in Denton has continued. When Nathan first arrived in Denton, the ward there had requested no more missionaries be assigned to them due to the huge problems they had with previous missionaries. So, Nathan knew, and I remember him telling us, that they had their work cut out for them and would need to regain the trust of the ward before they could do much work. Well, they did just that and ended up being greatly loved and appreciated in Denton. They worked hard and did good and apparently the current missionaries are still building on the work Nathan and his comp did. Their names are still in the documentation that the current missionaries are using and when new missionaries arrive, they end up asking who these elders are. For Nathan, hearing that was one of those moments that confirmed to him that although his time in Texas was short, the work he did made a difference.

While we were in Denton, we knew we needed to make a stop at Buc-ee’s, a gas station chain that originated in Texas and, as we’ve been told, puts all other gas stations to shame. While the internet tells me it is no longer so, when the Buc-ee’s in Denton was built, it was the biggest one in the world. And the Denton-ites are proud of that! In fact, the street that the gas station is on is named Buc-ee’s Boulevard and the one of the cross streets is Beaver Nuggets Lane. Kevin says Buc-ee’s is a lifestyle, not a gas station, and Nathan felt like that was an apt description! Now that I have experienced Buc-ee’s for myself, I completely agree. It is a gas station and really only carries the things any gas station would, but it has a bigger than normal selection. For instance, there is a whole wall of jerky. And a section where you can buy jerky by the pound as well. You can buy a small selection of hot food like many gas stations carry, but instead of hot dogs and nachos, they have fresh BBQ brisket sandwiches and such. There is a large assortment of Texas and Buc-ee’s themed tourist memorabilia rather than just a rack or two of keychains and magnets. And rather than half a dozen gas pumps, there are ninety-two. And a goodly number of them were in use when we were there. The place was seriously busy.

As we left Buc-ee’s with beaver nuggets, t-shirts, socks, jerky and several Baby Buc-ee keychains, I saw something that not only made me work really hard to stifle a laugh, but fully supports the “Bec-ee’s is a lifestyle” claim. As we crossed the parking lot, I happened to notice a ground of men gathered around several trucks that fit the stereotype of a Texan’s truck to a T. They were all wearing camouflage and one of them was wearing a white hat that looked just like a sea captain’s hat. Embroidered on the front was the word “Groom.” It was a bachelor party…at Buc-ee’s. 😂

Now let me talk about beaver nuggets for a minute. When I first heard the term, my mind immediately landed on cow patties and assumed beaver nuggets were similar. However, Nathan was quick to inform me that beaver nuggets are in fact a kind of snack food. Since one of my goals for this trip was to experience Texas, I knew that beaver nuggets needed to be on the list of things to try. They come in several flavors, but as a first timer I opted for the original ones. They are a kind of cornmeal crunchy bite size snack, and they are kind of weird. They taste like caramel popcorn with a hint of cornbread and while the shape and size are reminiscent of Corn Pops cereal, they are far crunchier than the cereal. And like I said before, a bit on the weird side. But they weren’t disgusting or anything. Probably not worth the calories, but now I can truthfully say that I’ve eaten beaver nuggets. Kevin declined the opportunity to try them, and I honestly can’t say that I blame him.

After our adventure at Buc-ee’s, we ate lunch at Razzoo’s Cajun Café, a Texas restaurant chain that Nathan ate at once on his mission and really enjoyed. Part of experiencing Texas is sampling some of the quintessential local cuisine. We started with Southern food based on Nathan’s recommendation and the fact that alligator was on the menu. That’s most definitely something we can’t get at home, so we knew he had to give it a try! When we drove up to the building, we were uncertain about whether or not the place was still operational since it looked pretty sketchy, but we discovered that not only was the restaurant still open, but the food was also absolutely fabulous. We had just arrived a bit before the restaurant opened for the day, which explained the lack of cars in the parking lot.  

We started our meal by sharing an order of fried gator. I went in with pretty much no expectations as I have absolutely no frame of reference for what gator should taste like but let me tell you that it was delicious. It was tender, and mild flavored, breaded in a slightly spicy coating and deep fried. I think we could easily have consumed another plate of gator, but there were so many tasty options on the menu that we opted for variety. We also shared some jambalaya pasta, which was amazing, and a catfish po boy which was also super tasty. I think I might have to see about adding a few Cajun classics to our menu rotation once we get home.

During lunch, I also got my first glimpse of what I could term southern gentility. When we eat out around here, the server usually starts at one side of the table and takes orders in whichever order we are seated. I was sitting in between Kevin and Nathan and rather than starting the orders with either of them, our charming server asked me what I wanted first accompanied by a very polite, “Ma’am.” While folks around here may get offended by that term feeling like it refers to their progressing age, in southern culture it is a title of respect and I felt exactly like that is how it was used. He was so friendly and polite, and I find that I love the easy way people converse, even with strangers. We saw a bit more southern hospitality when Nathan asked about purchasing a Razzoo’s t-shirt, all of which were hilarious and were on sale per the sign posted. However, his inquiry was met with the response that that don’t actually sell t-shirts anymore and didn’t have anything except the standard black T-shirt the servers all wore. But the manager grabbed one of those and handed it to Nathan free of charge. Nathan was most gracious, of course, and we proceeded to have a nice chat with the manager before we went on our way. 

After lunch, we drove a couple of hours to get to Canton, which is in east Texas. It is actually two missions away from Fort Worth, where Nathan was serving, but as an ASL missionary, he covered more area than just his mission. He had worked with Susie and Ann, two deaf ladies, while he was in Texas and has actually been in touch from time to time since then. These sisters are roommates and while it is just the two of them now, Erin, a third deaf sister and her son, were living with them up until recently. Nathan was very excited to get a chance to catch up with these ladies, and I got to experience several things. First, I was in a situation where I could understand very little of what was going on. ASL is very pictural in some instances so I would catch things here and there, but for most of the time I had no idea what they were talking about. Nathan interpreted for Kevin and me some of the time, but we told him before going in that interpreting was secondary, the important part being his chance to visit with these sisters. I have rarely been in situations where I don’t understand the language, so it was an interesting thing. Second, I got to experience Deaf culture a bit. We met one of Nathan’s deaf teachers when he spoke in sacrament meeting before leaving for his mission, and we have seen Nathan interpreting from time to time, but this was the first time we were actually in the home of a Deaf person. Over the years Nathan has shared with us bits about Deaf culture and it was really interesting to me to see it in person. They even got Erin on FaceTime, so Nathan was able to catch up with her too.

I want to share a little bit about Ann, one of the sisters we visited. She is originally from Hungary so while she signs, it is not ASL. She uses Hungarian sign language which means that Nathan can’t understand large portions of what she signs. Susie understands though, so she acts as interpreter between Ann and those who use ASL. Ann also vocalizes which some deaf do and some do not. What was super interesting to me was that while she is deaf, she vocalizes with a Hungarian accent! Ann, who is quite elderly, shared with us some experiences she had as a little girl living in Hungary during the German occupation in WW II. She shared with us a few of the difficulties they faced living in occupied territory, how her father was taken (to prison, I think), the time she and her mother were forced to feed some soldiers and the fear that such experiences brought, etc. With Susie and then Nathan acting as interpreters, Ann shared with us these little bits of her life story and it was so humbling to me to think about all the trials she has faced compared to the relative ease with which I live my life. Yes, I have challenges, but I don’t have to worry that each knock on the door is going to mean death for me or a loved one. I don’t have to feed foreign soldiers while slowing starving to death myself. My family has not been torn apart by war. Honestly, I came away with an enormous amount of respect for this amazing sister. And her troubles aren’t over. She is a convert and has been working towards going to the temple. She is worthy, has her recommend, and is ready to go. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, they are having a very hard time finding an endowed member who knows Hungarian sign language who can act as interpreter for her. So, she patiently waits. And after that one short hour, she earned an enormous amount of respect from me. Honestly, what an amazing lady.

After our visit with Susie and Ann, we headed to Arlington for dinner with another family. They are a couple that Nathan worked with while serving in that part of the mission. They fed Nathan and his companion on multiple occasions and the sister is actually the Texas friend of my cousin who helped me find a neurologist for Nathan to see while he was down there. I got my first taste of Texas BBQ for dinner that night, along with potato salad, rolls, cookies, and the only available in Texas Blue Bell ice cream. We had a lovely chat with them, and Nathan was able to play piano for them as well, for which they were very appreciative.

After dinner, we drove past the apartment where Nathan lived while he was in Arlington and stopped at a park across the street from the apartment where he and Elder Brown spent a lot of time. It is bluebonnet season in Texas, and while we have seen many from the car while driving down the freeway, we were finally able to see some close up!

Today has been a long day of visiting, but it has been great to meet so many faithful saints. It has also been fun to get a dose of Texas culture. However, I suspect that I’m going to have a very serious veggie deficiency by the time we get home. It seems that potato salad and baked beans often pass as vegetables around here. 😂

Old Plane, New Car

We have been planning a trip to Texas for a good long while. With a big band of Texas being in the path of totality for the upcoming complete solar eclipse, the timing for our trip was kind of a no brainer. I made our hotel reservation a year ago and ever since then, we have been planning and anticipating our trip. As we counted down the days, I have been increasingly more excited (although not as excited as Nathan!) and was glad that today was finally the big day.

So, let’s talk negatives first. I have discovered that I’m not a huge fan of flying. It messes with my tummy. It messes with my back. It messes with my head. 

The last time I flew was in 2009 when I went to New York. That was the trip when I discovered that the 1-hour lead time the instructions on the box of Dramamine recommend is not long enough for me. Armed with that information, I took the meds further in advance and they were fully active by the time we lifted off. Nevertheless, this time around I discovered that the over-the-counter type of motion sickness remedies are not quite enough anymore. I wasn’t super sick or anything, but I was definitely a bit on the queasy side. The turbulence we encountered during the first hour of our flight did nothing to help that, but once things calmed down a bit and I got some ginger ale to sip on, I felt a bit better. The next time I plan to fly, I will call my doctor and get the good motion sickness patches. I think it will make the experience nicer. 

The second strike for flying is the fact that I often have trouble sitting for long periods of time simply because chairs of all sorts are generally designed for people who are taller than I am. That means that all the ergonomic curves that make things comfy for taller folks are in all the wrong places for me, which means that I often come away with an aching back. And while frequent position changes help on long drives, the cramped quarters in airplanes make that much more difficult. In addition to those general seating woes, the plane we rode to Texas was an old one so all the padding in the chairs was compacted which made things even more uncomfortable. 

The trifecta of air travel contradictions is completed by the reality that the noise, the altitude changes, etc. are not great for chronic migraines. Kev has some really great noise canceling headphones and they helped a ton, but I still came away with a bit of a headache. Luckily for me, it was just a bit and didn’t end up being a huge headache like it could have been. Which was nice in a way because it gave me plenty of brain power to focus on the queasiness. 😂

Now that I’ve gotten the complaints out of the way, let’s get down to the good stuff.

We flew into DFW airport, and that airport is so big that it has its own freeway. Seriously. Once we hit the runway, it took a good 15 minutes of taxiing to get to the terminal. Our travels included traversing an airplane overpass. Yup. Its own freeway for cars and overpasses for the airplanes. Once we deplaned, we caught the shuttle to the car rental center and after 10 minutes riding on the bus, we were still in the airport. So yes, the airport is huge. And the city itself is supersized just like the airport. For any of you who think Salt Lake is an actual city, let me assure you that it is just a modestly sized town. 

Once we arrived at the rental car center, we were instructed to choose a car. Kev has traveled a lot more than I have of late, so being told to pick one was not unexpected for him. I was kind of surprised though. I had assumed that they just handed you the keys to whichever car was next in line. Having options was nice though. Kevin’s eyes were drawn to a gray car as light colors are cooler in the sun, and we are in Texas. Knowing that smells are a big deal for me and can trigger headaches, he asked me to smell it. I stuck my head in the window, gave it a good sniff, and declared it was fine as it just smelled like new car. Selection made, we headed to the checkout booth and when we were asked to report the mileage of the car, we discovered that the car had 2 whole miles on it. It smells like new car because it is a brand-new car!

Long travel days are generally the least enjoyable days on any trip. But with today behind us, Nathan is super excited to start visiting people tomorrow!

Tiny Texas

Nathan pulled out his brand-new baby sized waffle iron this morning and made some tiny Texas shaped waffles. I think this is the first time I’ve ever associated the great state of Texas with something small. 😂 Having crispy little lone-star state waffles definitely made Nathan happy! And it reminded me that my college students do actually cook stuff. They don’t just subsist on cold cereal and peanut butter like so many others do. That makes me feel like I did a decent job preparing them to live on their own! And that I chose wisely when doing my Christmas shopping. 😉

Texas Extras

Due to the idiosyncrasies of the postal system in Texas, all mail to Nathan was sent to the mission office. From there it was distributed as time and travel of zone leaders and such permitted. While that protected the missionaries from unexpected charges for package delivery, it also meant that mail did not reach its final destination for an undetermined amount of time. It was a bit frustrating at times, but it was entertaining when Nathan had half dozen boxes waiting for him all at the same time.

Three weeks ago, Malia and I assembled a package for Nathan. We had just spoken to him, and he was looking really rough around the edges. He was getting more and more worn down by the headaches and I felt like some mail from home would be a good pick me up. Malia baked cookies and we all worked to find some goodies to fill the box. Knowing that it would probably take longer to get to Nathan than we would have liked, I put some extra thought into how to package the baked goods so there was half a chance they would be somewhat fresh upon arrival. I sealed them in FoodSaver bags with either a tortilla or a slice of bread in each to help keep the cookies soft. I dated the bags so Nathan would know how old the cookies were when he got them, and his job was to tell us how they fared.

The package arrived in Texas only a couple days after we mailed it, but when we spoke to Nathan the following week, he had not yet received it. Two weeks after we mailed the package, Nathan finally got his mail. Homemade coconut granola had also been included in the box and apparently the entire box smelled of coconut. Malia had tucked in one of her fabulous chickens and since the theme of the box was “C is for…” Matthew printed a picture of Calvin Coolidge. That week was the day when Nathan counseled with Kevin and I about coming home, so needless to say, he was really distracted. Nathan and his companion consumed the granola with gusto, but he forgot all about the cookies. 

Nathan was made a district leader at the last transfer, so today was his last district counsel before he comes home tomorrow. He pulled out the cookies to share with his district and gave a report on the success of our packaging. All the cookies were still soft. The ones packaged with bread were softer than those tucked in with tortillas, but they were all completely eatable. The only problem that occurred was the fact that the vacuum sealing and the extended wait time pretty much glued the cookies to the bread/tortillas. Most of the missionaries pried them off and ate them anyway, but Nathan told us one of the elders ate his with the tortilla. That made me laugh. I’m glad the entire zone enjoyed Malia’s treats. And though I won’t be needing the knowledge right away, next time I would slip a piece of parchment paper between the cookies and the bread to solve the problem.

After their counsel, the entire district went out to lunch. Nathan wanted to spend as much time with them as he could before leaving Texas and I can’t blame him. Although he knows that coming home is the right choice, it is still difficult for him to leave. He has loved being in Texas, has loved the work, and will miss many of the people he has met.

Musing of a Missionary Mama

It is often said that life doesn’t always turn out like we expect and the older I get, the more I am convinced that it is true. Nathan left for Texas with every intention of being there for two years, but once again I have a son whose time in the mission field has been cut short. It seems like six months is some kind of a deadline for my boys because Daniel came home nearly six months to the day after he began his mission and Nathan’s six-month mark was yesterday. Nathan’s circumstances, however, are very different from Daniel’s. A pandemic and the desire to be obedient and follow the prophet’s counsel is what brought Daniel home prematurely. Nathan will be coming home for medical reasons, and it was a choice he made on his own after consulting with his mission president, Kevin and I, and the Lord. 

I’ve been very worried about Nathan for months, as have Kevin and the mission president. We have all done everything we could to help Nathan get the headache under control, but despite the miracles we have seen and the short reprieve he had after seeing the headache specialist, things have escalated. Several weeks ago, Nathan started having some side effects from the first medication he was prescribed in Texas, some slowed cognitive function and difficulty thinking. Basically, he was super groggy and sluggish, felt all doped up and couldn’t think clearly. When we spoke to him on P-day two weeks ago, my gut feeling was that he needed to get off the medication he was on. Some of these maintenance meds require tapering off so the body doesn’t react poorly though, so I advised him to call the neurologist’s office, which he did. 

Nathan messaged us first thing last Monday morning with some worrisome info, letting us know that overnight he had begun having some severe symptoms. He had called the mission nurse at 3:00 in the morning and after she consulted with the mission doctor, Nathan was told that they suspected the symptoms were a severe reaction to the same medication. Rather than sending him to an urgent care in the middle of the night, they advised Nathan to hold off any treatment until he could consult with the neurologist that afternoon. He had been able to schedule a virtual appointment with the neurologist despite his schedule being completely full for the next six or seven months (another tender mercy) and during that appointment he was given directions on how to taper off the medication. He was also told that the side effects should go away as the medication left his system, but he was in really bad shape when we spoke to him later that afternoon. He was exhausted, in pain, still had a headache, and had gotten to the point where he could no longer push through the misery and discomfort. 

That was pretty much the tipping point for Nathan. He fought hard to be able to stay in Texas, did everything he could to manage the headache, and was able to work through it due to sheer determination. He puts on a good show, and I suspect most people had no idea what he was dealing with, but by last week he had reached his physical breaking point and knew that he couldn’t continue. He feels like those last serious symptoms were the Lord’s way of telling him that it is was time to go home, that what he had offered was enough and that it was ok to focus on his health.

The process of bringing him home began the following day. Nathan conferred with us once more, then called the mission president to let him know what he had decided. The one caveat Nathan requested was that he be allowed to stay long enough to attend the fireside that took place last night. To me, it felt like that fireside would be the culmination of his work in Texas, an event that would bring him a sense of completion. The mission president was in complete agreement on all accounts and after speaking to our stake president last week, called to speak with us and make sure we were kept informed on what was happening. He told me Nathan would be home today or tomorrow at the latest, assured me that he approved of Nathan’s decision, and told me that once the request to return home on medical leave was approved by one of the general authorities, the travel office would make flight arrangements. He also told me that he has seen how hard Nathan had worked, was fully aware of his great desire to stay in the field and shared with me the fact that even before he arrived in the mission two months ago, he knew who Nathan was and was just astounded by the amazing facial expressions that Nathan has when he signs. As part of their preparation, the mission president and his wife worked to know each and every one of the missionaries by name and face before they entered the field. They had watched the ASL videos Nathan had been posting on Facebook and his enthusiasm for the work and the language were clear to see. President knows how much Nathan would like to stay, but he also knows that if he stays, he will be further sacrificing his health to do so.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Nathan did not come home today. There has been a delay in Nathan’s paperwork so we are still waiting to get details about when he will actually fly home. I’ve called to reschedule his appointment with my neurologist (a headache specialist it took me twenty years to find and who has helped me reclaim my life from the clutches of chronic migraine) twice already and will need to call at least once more due to the delays. I think that now that the decision is made, Nathan is anxious to get home. He is relieved that he doesn’t have to fight this anymore and that he will be able to stop, get the help he needs, and take the time his body requires to break the headache. That is our number one objective. Once that is accomplished, we can work on establishing a good maintenance plan and Nathan can think about what is next for him. At this point he only knows what this one step is. But he also knows that the Lord has a plan for him and that there is more work for him to do. He doesn’t know what that work is or where, but he trusts the Lord and knows that he’ll be given the direction he needs when he needs it.

Over the years I have learned that being a mother is hard work. There are no paid vacations and no weekends off. It is physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually taxing at times. There are days that leave you in tears and days that send you to your knees and days when you don’t know what you are doing and wonder if you’ve messed it all up. On the flipside, motherhood is one of the most rewarding things I’ve done in my lifetime. To see your child learn and grow, to know that you are the most important person in his or her little world for a few years, to watch them gain experience and develop their talents, to see them work and serve brings a sense of joy and fulfillment that nothing else can. Motherhood holds challenges and rewards in equal measure.

One of the challenges I could never have predicted was the grief I feel over the disappointments and sorrows that happen in my children’s lives. It seems that I feel them nearly as deeply as they do and my tears for their sorrows are just as real as the tears for my own struggles. When Covid ended Daniel’s mission far too soon, he grieved for a time. In fact, there are still moments when he feels that disappointment deeply. I grieved with him, shedding tears for his lost opportunities, feeling his sense of loss as if it were my own. In fact, I still feel sorrow over the fact that his time of service was cut so short. That has been unexpected for me. I thought as time passed the sadness would pass quickly because it was not over my own loss. But while it is tempered with time, it is still there. It is an unanticipated part of motherhood that the parenting books don’t address.

As Nathan’s time in Texas has also ended far too soon, I find myself grieving again. Added to that sadness is the knowledge that he did everything he could to be well enough to stay and yet the physical weaknesses he has been given were too much. He has suffered physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He has prayed endlessly for strength and guidance. He has taught and worked when others would have stayed home in bed. And through it all, he has humbly sought for understanding to try to make sense of the adversities he has faced.

Nathan has given his all to serve the people in Texas. He has worked hard and sacrificed much for them. He has loved them and cared for them. He has taught them and counseled with them. There are people in Texas who have been changed forever by their interactions with Nathan. And I know that Nathan has been changed forever by his interactions with them. While he is sad that his time there has been cut short, he knows that coming home at this time is right and he knows that the Lord has a plan for him. Only time will tell what that plan is, but Nathan is looking forward and not backward and is prepared for the Lord to guide him along the way.

Texas Extras

For the past several transfers, Nathan has been working to organize a stake musical fireside at the request of his first mission president. Although Nathan transferred out of that stake several weeks ago, he has been planning from afar and guiding his previous companion in the last organizational details. He got permission to drive back to Arlington for the fireside, which was held this evening. The theme was centered on the Savior’s love which is perfect for any fireside, but in my opinion, especially fitting for a missionary focused one as they are out in the world teaching people about the Savior and the love he has for each of us. Nathan has been incredibly excited about this event from the very beginning, and has put a lot of effort, enthusiasm, and love into its planning.

One of the good things that came out of the pandemic is the fact that pretty much everyone in the church is comfortable with streaming events and meeting virtually and as such, we were able to watch the fireside from here. There were some technical difficulties with the stream so it wasn’t available to watch until about twenty minutes past the start time, but we watched the rest and it was wonderful. There were so many members who participated. All the music was interpreted into ASL so it was deaf accessible as well. The Spirit was there. Nathan was conducting the meeting and I was so proud of the strong testimony he bore, of the love he expressed for the Savior, with the gentleness of his voice. He has gained even greater conviction in his beliefs in the past six months. It was a beautiful way for us to send a Sunday evening and I’m so grateful for the technology that allowed us to participate in this portion of Nathan’s missionary work.

Texas Extras

I’m one of the lucky insiders who gets more of Nathan’s stories, so I thought I’d add some context to some of his extra pictures. In his neck of the woods, there is a gas station called Buc-ees. But this is no ordinary gas station. It is, according to Nathan, the biggest gas station he has ever seen. Apparently, there are hundreds of pumps for cars to refuel and the store is no little convenience store. It is a full-fledged grocery store that included a deli, bakery, non-foods, section, etc. In fact, it is bigger that our local supermarket. Nathan says that the number of stalls in the bathroom seems to go on forever. The mascot of the Buc-ees chain of gas stations is a beaver, hence the photo with the charming beaver statue. 

The missionaries are supposed to spend all the money loaded to their debit cards each payment cycle, so when he and his companion had a few dollars that needed spending, they headed to Buc-ees. For those of us who know him well, it came as no surprise that Nathan spent his extra moola on a rubber duck, a lapel pin, and a pair of socks emblazoned with the state of Texas. While he was perusing the many wonders in Buc-ees, he spotted several things that made him laugh. First of all, it was enormously evident to him that he is no longer in Utah as there were sippy cups displayed right next to the matching shot glasses and wine glasses, all bearing the Buc-ees beaver. He also spotted a sign that reminded him of the movie “Miss Congeniality,” one of our often-watched movies that falls under the category of “chick flick that is funny enough that even the boys like it.” It just so happens that the film takes place in Texas, so it is not really a surprise that it has made its way into the pop culture of the state.

He also had some more Texas culture to share with us via Messenger, where he described the breakfast he ate on the way to the temple and some clothing shopping he did. Being able to message back and forth on his p-days feels a little bit like having him just a couple hours away rather than halfway across the country:

“I called mom, but for the rest of yall: 

1- I got a name sign hehe. I'll send an email later with the video 

2- look up Texas Kolachee (ask mom how to spell it. She found it somehow haha.) They are giant Texas pigs in blankets. Very tasty 

3- it is SO GREEN HERE AHHHHH”

“Ooooo I forgot to say: Elder Frey had a really good study idea!! I want to do this when I finish the new testament this time around.

Mark every single question that Jesus Christ asks and see what you learn from it! This could be in any of the books of scripture. This will help you be a better teacher and know how to ask better questions!”

“Ok, so I forgot to tell y’all earlier, but this afternoon we went thrift shopping. The thrift stores in Texas are amazing. We have Ross and stuff, but there’s a bunch of really sketchy Spanish thrift stores where you can go buy stuff for under a dollar. So, what we’ve been doing is for member visits we wear our suitcoats. The slacks and coats don’t match all the time, but sometimes they do, but we wear coats to just help everyone remember our purpose in being there, and so in order to help my gray suitcoat not totally get sun-bleached and the pants not, we went to the thrift store and I bought a $3 suitcoat that apparently is super bourgie, but it fits, has gold buttons, super great. And so we will just leave that in the car and it will be great. I also found someone who thrifted ties that have angel Moronis on them, so that’s pretty fun. By and large, I spent $8 at the thrift store for what would have normally been a lot more than $8.”

“A HUGE tie with angel Moroni on it is my favorite. I'll send a picture of the suit coat in a min haha”

“And my fancy coat haha”

Now for a little bit more info on the Texas kolache he ate. I was familiar with the traditional kolache which is a traditional Czech fruit filled pastry. I had no frame of reference for the giant pig in a blanket he described though, so I did a bit of online research to see if I could figure out how one morphed into the other. I discovered that there is a large Czech population in Texas. When they immigrated in the 1800’s, they brought their traditional kolaches with them. Over time, they became very popular with non-Czech people, and they started filling them with meat (and usually cheese and jalapenos) rather than the traditional sweet fillings. How it went from a flat pastry to a fully wrapped sausage is beyond me though. And yes, that version is just a Texas thing. Technically, the meat wrapped in kolache dough are called klobasnek, not that many non-Czech people would know that, and it has become a breakfast staple in the lone star state. Doing the research made me want to try them though, so there may be some half Chinese versions of a Czech and/or Texas delicacy in our future. 😂 (The pictures of the two different kolaches are courtesy of Google, not Nathan.)

I know some missionaries are disappointed when they receive calls to serve in their home country, but as Nathan will attest, Texas most definitely has its own culture, one that is very different from that found here in Utah!

Texas Extras

The members of the ward where Nathan is currently serving in Texas are amazing. The ward mission leader’s wife contacted me a week or so ago, about five seconds after Nathan was transferred into their ward. She wanted a few pictures and some details about Nathan that she could share with the ward on their Facebook page. She introduces each new missionary to their ward so the members can get to know them a bit. She also asked about some of his favorite treats. She told me they would be feeding the missionaries on Easter and planned to fill an Easter basket for each of them. 

This evening the same sister sent me some pictures of Nathan enjoying the holiday at their home. She fed him and his companion and assembled some amazing Easter baskets for them. They are far fancier than the ones I filled for my kids here and she got all of Nathan’s favorites in there. I am enormously touched. As a missionary mama, I am so grateful to know that there are other mamas taking care of my kid. 💗

He’s Alive!

Not that there was any doubt, but we now have photographic proof that Nathan did indeed arrive safely in Texas. We also got a phone call from an employee at the Trek bicycle store in Hurst, Texas requesting payment for assembling his bike before they released it to him. The gentleman I spoke to had a fantastic accent and very respectfully called me ma’am. You gotta love the south! 

And just in case you needed reminding, Nathan is very tall. This photo with the mission president and his wife is proof. 😂

Alone to the Lone Star State

Yesterday was the day Nathan left the MTC and flew to Texas. He was traveling alone, but was so, so excited to get out into the mission field. We expected some kind of message to let us know he had arrived safely, but when nothing arrived, I suspected things were in disarray down there. Nathan sent me a brief message this morning saying he had, in fact, arrived safely. (Which I had assumed. If he had died in a fiery plane crash, I’m pretty sure we would have been notified.) He was the only missionary that arrived yesterday and it is a week before transfers, so not a normal day for incoming missionaries to arrive. As such, the routine was a bit skiwampus. The mission president had a meeting with the senior missionaries (all of whom Nathan got to meet) and was unable to pick Nathan up at the airport, so the AP’s (the assistants to the president for those of you who may not be up to date on all the missionary lingo) met him as he arrived in Texas. 

On Monday there was some concern about whether or not he would be able to travel as scheduled. There were severe storms with hail and tornados happening in Texas on Monday and several companionships that were slated to enter the field that day had to return to the MTC when their flights were cancelled. (One set will fly later this week and the other has to wait two more weeks because of flight availability.) But the storms passed in plenty of time for Nathan’s flight. I’m working on the assumption that Nathan was terribly relieved that he won’t need to spend two more weeks in the classroom. When we talked to him on Monday, he was very clearly more than ready to get out into the world and start working.

I suspect there will be much more info about his travel and arrival in the Lone Star State when we talk to him on his next P-day. This is only the second time he’s ever flown and it is definitely the first time he has flown alone, so there are bound to be some stories. But he’s officially in the field doing the Lord’s work! 

C is for Cookie

And when I say cookie, I mean cookies. Plural. So. Many. Cookies. 

Today was cookie baking day in preparation for hosting friends and family when Nathan speaks in sacrament meeting in a couple of weeks. In honor of where he will serve his mission as well as his mission language, we have Texas shaped cookies and hand cookies forming a variety of common hand gestures and ASL letters. I made all the cookie dough in advance, so our four hours in the kitchen today was cutting and baking time. Now we have a couple of hundred cookies that will get tossed in the freezer for now. I don’t usually do labor intensive cut out cookies when I’m baking for this many people, but Nathan and I had a fantastic time creating all these goodies. And the cookies turned out super cute. It was well worth the effort.

As a side note, Nathan is my Sesame Street kid. When the cookie dough was mixed and colored, it reminded him of Cookie Monster and Elmo. It might be a bit morbid to say it looked like a couple of bowls full of Muppets, but I think he’s right. 😂