Isn’t it About…Time?

Today was our now traditional after Christmas temple trip. Everyone was home for a few days, and we all wanted to take advantage of that and spend some time together in meaningful ways. That means that today was also a game day featuring Dominion, the new card game that Daniel got from Matthew, a quick stop at a park for a family picture before the snow started, and dinner at Tsunami. 

Lunch or dinner at Tsunami has also become a bit of a tradition for us and I know it is because Matthew loves to be able to enjoy the same restaurant meal that the rest of us are having. For most of his life he has brought his own food when we eat out. We don’t eat out a ton and that is one of the reasons why, but when we do, he has always been good about it. He never complains and in the past several years he has just started to make comments about what he wants to smell as accompaniment to his meal. So, we fully support his desire to enjoy a restaurant meal with us and the fact that we all love the food at Tsunami doesn’t hurt. 😉

It has been a bit of a busy day with all those things on the schedule, but honestly, I feel like we need to squeeze in as much quality time as possible while we can still get everyone home at the same time. I know that in years to come it may not always be that way. Scheduling time for all of us to be together is just going to get harder and harder. Even now, Daniel and Nathan are home for a few days rather than a few weeks. Their home and their lives are no longer centered here. That is why I feel like we need to take advantage of the time we have. And luckily for me, all the members of my little crew agree and want that quality time as well.

How Am I Related to You?

My dad’s older brother, Pat, passed away last year, but his wife Betty is still alive and kicking. Their youngest daughter, Shirlene, is the cousin of mine who lives in Logan and feeds my college boys, lets them use her washer and dryer when the apartment ones are just too gross to get the job done (like when washing temple clothes), and generally takes them in as needed. Shirlene invites the college cousins to Sunday dinners, which means my older boys have had quite a few opportunities to get to know my Aunt Betty. Both of them have enjoyed the chance to get to know some of their extended family a bit better. However, they didn’t know exactly how they were related to any of these people, so Shirlene drew Nathan a diagram once, so he could visualize the relationship.  

The whole family relationships thing on my dad’s side gets a bit confusing because my dad is the youngest of his siblings by quite a long way. There was a twenty-one-year age difference between my dad and his oldest brother. My dad was the same age as many of his nieces and nephews and was basically raised by his older sister Shirley and her husband. As a kid I had no idea how I was related to any of these people. We just called everyone cousin. But as a college student I took the time to figure it all out. But trying to explain all of that via text or phone was not all that helpful for Nathan. Thank goodness for Shirlene’s diagram. I think he has it mostly figured out now. LAUGHING WITH TEARS SMILEY 

Today Shirlene hosted a 98th birthday party for my Aunt Betty. Kevin, Matthew, Malia and I drove up for the festivities. Daniel and Nathan were also there, along with Jacob, Rachael’s college student, and my parents. There were a lot of other extended family in attendance as well, so it was a fun gathering. While I may not know all of my extended family well, at least I can say that I know where most of the attendees fit into the family tree. And I was able to point people out so that Nathan could place them on the appropriate branches as well. 

We don’t see this degree of extended family all that often, but honestly, it was nice to see people at a birthday party rather than a funeral. Over the past ten years or so, most of our family reunions have been more solemn affairs. This time pink was the theme, and we got cake and ice cream! So happy birthday to my Aunt Betty! I hope that I age as well as she has!

Cherish the Music Time

For our Christmas present this year, Kevin’s mom got everyone tickets for the Messiah Sing In at Abravanel Hall. We attended as extended family once before, in 2012. At that point, only Daniel and Nathan attended with us. Matthew and Malia were still little things, so they spent the evening with a babysitter. But this year, all our kids were old enough to go, which was nice. We purchased a few new copies of the Messiah score, and I think all of us were excited. Malia got frustrated during the first act since she has had less than a year of choir, is not as familiar with the music as some, and struggled to keep up with the singing, but once I told her that it was ok to just sit and listen, it was better. 

It is always fun for my kids to be able to visit with their cousins, so that was a plus as well. Over the past few years, Matthew has spent more time with Cory’s girls, and they have become good friends. My other kids also enjoy time with their cousins as life gets busy and we just don’t see them that often. 

This is something I would like to do again in future. I don’t feel like it needs to be a yearly thing, but I do enjoy it and having my family around me as we sing was great. Whether it is an extended family event or one with my own children and their future families, I don’t know yet. That is a question for the future.

Old Home Day

Whenever she is in Hawaii, my mom goes to church in the ward she was in the entire time she was growing up. Despite having lived elsewhere for more than fifty years, the Auwaiolimu Ward is still home turf for her and there are still people there that she knows. In fact, my Auntie Lissa, my mom’s older sister, my uncle Allan, and one of their daughters and her family all live in that ward. When my grandfather passed away, my auntie inherited the land on Pacific Heights where they grew up and they recently built a beautiful new home up there with an upstairs/downstairs duplex plan, the downstairs home being where my cousin and her family live. It is a plan to provide them with the care they need as they age, and since they already owned the land, the $1.2 million price tag for the new home was doable. And the view is spectacular. Seriously. 

After attending sacrament meeting, we were invited to have lunch with my Auntie and Uncle. We were able to enjoy the afore mentioned views and chat with family. I heard some stories about my grandfather and my mom’s childhood that I haven’t heard before about how the money was raised for the Auwaiolimu church building. This was one of those situations where the members of the ward were responsible for raising the money for the building. Auntie Lissa told me that the members would hold carnivals and luau dinners to raise money for the church. My grandfather was highly involved in those fundraising efforts. He was the one responsible for collecting the money at the end of the event and since it was late at night, my mom and her two sisters would sleep in his car while he was doing so. He built a platform to cover the gap in the footwells of the back seat so they could lie down as in those days, car seats didn’t recline. 

I remember attending church in the Auwaiolimu Ward from my last visit to Hawaii, but that was almost thirty years ago, and some things have changed since then. The chapel is an open-air chapel with panels that can be opened instead of solid walls on the sides of the chapel. I remember all the panels being open to allow the breeze to help cool the building when I was there last, but since then air conditioning units have been installed to help keep the temperature in the building more comfortable. While the building has definitely been updated over the years, it still houses only the one ward, unlike the multiple ward buildings we have now. So, this is one of those much loved, historical buildings and it was neat to be able to attend meetings there again. And it was so fun to see hymnbooks in both English and Hawaiian!

After a spell back at the hotel for a Sunday afternoon nap, we enjoyed dinner with some other family members. My mom’s half-sister, my Auntie Pat, has two sons and a daughter. We met Stewart when we visited with her a few days ago. This evening, we were invited to dinner with Bryan, her other son, and his wife, daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Auntie Pat’s daughter Brenda also joined us. I know it might be more concise to call all these folks cousins, but I’m trying to make sure I know where everyone fits in the family so bear with me. Anyway, it was a pleasant meal and we had a nice visit. It has been a long day for my mom though, and as she got fatigued, we cut our visit short and headed back to get some sleep. 

It has been nice to meet some of these relatives and put faces with some names. We don’t see these relatives of my mom’s often, so it has been good to spend some time sorting out her family tree in my mind. I know that visiting with family is the reason my mom longs for Hawaii so much. She is very close to her family due to being raised in a multi-generational Chinese home, and living far away for so many years has done nothing to dampen the relationships. So while Kevin and I have taken time to play tourist, my mom has been focused on spending time with loved ones.

Family History and Family Dinner

It was dim sum day again. Hurray! And it was a different restaurant with a different menu and an earlier arrival time, all of which meant it was also a much better experience. Yay for dim sum day!

After our more satisfying lunch, we drove around to the other side of the island for dinner with extended family. Enroute, we got a family history lesson as my parents pointed out where they lived when my dad was stationed at Pearl Harbor, the field where they played church ball, the schools my mom attended when she was growing up, etc. It was fun to hear my parents share all the memories that popped up as they visited familiar locations. 

Once we left the Honolulu area, we headed towards the Dole Plantation. Unfortunately, the entire place was shut down because they were having some issues and had no water to the entire facility. So after just a few minutes browsing one of the smaller gardens, we hopped back in the car and were on our way. Kevin and I will be headed to the north shore again in a few days, so we’re planning to attempt another visit to the plantation then. Because how sad would it be if we never got to eat Dole whip at the Dole Plantation?

Our next stop was to nosh on some shave ice in Hale’iwa. For those who don’t know, shave ice is like a snow cone but about a million times better. Instead of grinding the ice, it is shaved very fine. The end result is a confection that allows the flavorings to fully blend into every bite. It feels smooth on your tongue, and you never end up eating just ice. In addition to the traditional fruit flavored syrups, ice cream, whipped cream, real fruit, etc. are incorporated and the end result is a wonderfully cool, refreshing treat for a warm day. Seriously good stuff. 

After our treat, we headed off to our dinner date. Our destination was Hau’ula and we had to traverse the north shore to get there. I know that area is very popular with surfers due to the perfect waves and all that, but the part we experienced today was the part where there are a billion cars and only one two lane road and all the resulting snarl of traffic. Luckily for us, we still arrived in good time and our hosts, Audrey (my first cousin once removed) and her family, and Sherry (Audrey’s sister, which makes her another of my cousins) and her family commiserated with the traffic situation. Apparently, the fact that it takes forever to get anywhere is a totally normal and somewhat irksome occurrence. Anyway, the length of travel aside, we had a lovely evening visiting with family we rarely see, learning a bit about their families and lives, and enjoying the family pictures that my mom brought to share.

It was definitely an on-the-go type of a day, but one that was steeped in family history. We saw places my parents frequented in years past, heard more stories of their time on the island, caught up with family members who live far away, and ate the food of my people. So, despite not being able to really visit the Dole Plantation, it was a good day!

Not Our Normal Routine

Sometimes Sundays on vacation are different than Sundays at home. With so few days here in Texas, we did end up with several not normal Sunday type activities on our agenda. The first was a trip to Pearl Snap Kolaches for breakfast. Kolaches are kind of a Texas mainstay. I’ve read about how and why this traditional Czechoslovakian pastry ended up being so quintessentially Texan, but I’m not going to take time to explain that here. (If you must know, ask Google. That’s what I did.) What I will say is that Pearl Snap is one of the most popular kolache spots in the Fort Worth area and while it was within his area while he served there, Nathan never got to sample the goods because the odd hours of the bakery didn’t match up with missionary hours. As such, actually giving him a chance to visit Pearl Snap seemed like a necessity. And honestly, I really wanted to go as well. We are experiencing Texas after all and can’t go home without eating some kolaches!

We arrived just before 9:00, several hours after the kolache shop opened, and we were all glad we hadn’t arrived any later because they were already almost sold out. There were only a couple of sausage kolaches left (the ones that Nathan first sampled on the mission) and only one ham and egg one. We added in an assortment of fruit filled pastries and made our way to the Fort Worth botanical gardens to enjoy our breakfast in the great out of doors. We divided everything so we could try all the flavors and I think my favorites were the ham and egg and the pecan kolaches. I’m already thinking about finding a recipe when we get home so I can experience these delights again. And so Matthew and Malia can try them. 

After our less than healthy breakfast (honestly, we aren’t usually pastries for breakfast kind of folks, but rules get broken when we are on vacation), we wandered the botanical gardens for a few hours. There was a visiting live butterfly exhibit and we opted to do that before heading into the garden proper. I think the last time we visited a butterfly enclosure like this was on our Seattle trip many moons ago, and it is one of those things that never seems to get old for me. There were some stunning butterflies featured and one of the biggest moths I have ever seen in my life. The thing was seriously the size of a bird!

The remainder of the gardens were absolutely beautiful, although it is a bit early in the spring for some of them to be at their best. The Japanese garden was lovely, and Kevin said it is spot on for traditional Japanese. There was a pond and what we thought was a statue of a crane…until it moved. So real cranes in the Japanese garden! The weather was perfectly clear and not too hot. We only started to get a bit too warm as we were headed out of the gardens and since we are in Texas, I feel like we lucked out there!

From the botanical gardens, we headed to have lunch with some extended family. By way of reminder, Nathan and Todd ran into each other while Nathan was on his mission. They were both at a fireside about family history and at the end when everyone pulled out their phones to use the “family near me” feature of the Family Tree app, they ended up getting the notice that a very close family member was in the vicinity. Todd ended up supporting Nathan in multiple ways while Nathan was in Texas for which I’m so grateful. And it kind of put us back in touch with some extended family which has been nice. Scott, one of Todd's brothers, married one of my best friends and roommates from my last year of college. We don’t see them much since they live in Texas and we live in Utah, so it was nice to be able to stop in and chat for a bit. And one of the highlights of the afternoon? There were veggies at lunch time!! I’m so happy about that! I’ve been seriously missing the produce portion of my diet. 😉

Our last stop of the day was at the mission home. Although Nathan only served for six months, he has two mission presidents. In fact, Nathan was the very first missionary the second mission president interviewed when he arrived in the mission. And this young elder who was struggling health wise was one of the first issues he was faced with. Nathan has seen his first mission president since arriving home, but this was his first opportunity to visit with the second one since being released from his mission. We joined the president and his family for dinner (again, no veggies!), and Kevin and I pretty much sat back and listened while Nathan and the mission president chatted. It was a lovely, low key, gospel focused end for our sabbath. 

The only really weird thing about this weekend was the fact that General Conference is this weekend and while I usually listen to all of it while it is happening, we pretty much missed it all with all the visits we have been doing. It isn’t broadcast on local radio like it is at home, so even though we were in the car a ton and had loads of time to listen, we did not have a way to do so. I feel kind of sad about that, although I know that with the amazing technology we have nowadays I will be able to listen to all of it any time I want. In fact, yesterday’s sessions are already available in the Gospel Library app, so we started listening to those this morning as we prepped for the day. Having said that, all our visits have been wonderful!

College Cooks

My cousin Shirleen lives in Logan. Her kids are all grown and no longer living at home, but she and her hubby, Greg, have welcomed Daniel and Nathan and my nephew Josh to Sunday dinner at her house on numerous occasions over this past year. These boys have also attended dinners with Shirlene and her parents, my Uncle Pat and Aunt Betty, at their care home. Daniel and Nathan will be homeless for about five days at the end of the semester since there is a gap between when they have to move out of on campus housing and when they can move into their off-campus apartment and while she can’t house them for the gap (Her own kids will all be in town so her house will be full. Otherwise, she would welcome them for a few days.), she is ever so kindly allowing Nathan to store his frozen food in her freezer, which means he doesn’t have to haul it down here and then drive it back up the following week.  I’m so grateful for the support my extended family has given these college boys, and they are grateful as well. They expressed their thanks by turning the tables and cooking Sunday dinner for Greg and Shirlene this evening. They are good boys.

Second Time Around

Today was another temple day for us and another one with family. Daniel and Nathan weren’t able to join us this time, but Rachael, Kate and Sabrina accompanied us for another visit to the baptistry. We visited the Mount Timpanogos Temple this time and although the ordinances are always the same, each temple has its own procedures as far as dressing, waiting, etc. go. I’m really glad Rachael was with us to help shepherd us around. This is her normal temple, and it was so helpful to have her tell us where to go!

We had a lovely time and we have decided we need to do this again!

Eternal Laughter

Malia is the youngest of my children by a fairly sizable margin. She is 11 years younger than Daniel and 4 ½ younger than Matthew. As such, she often feels like she’s being left behind. And that’s a valid feeling. Daniel and Nathan no longer live at home and are only around for occasional visits. Now that Matthew is in high school, he is gone more and more often and when he gets his driver’s license next month, I fully expect his time away to increase. So she’s completely justified in feeling like she’s the lone child at home. There are advantages to that, but it also means that she spends a lot of time waiting to catch up with her brothers. 

Today was one of those days when she finally caught up. After years of patiently waiting, today was the first time she was able to go into the temple with us. We scheduled far in advance so that Daniel and Nathan were able to come down, and all six of us went to the baptistry together. I’ve said many times that I love being in the temple with my family, and today was very sweet indeed. All of my children together with Kev and I in the temple. We had expected to wait another year for this event since Nathan was originally slated to be in Texas until next year, but another tender mercy of his early homecoming was the fact that we were all together for Malia’s very first temple trip. It was a day of pure joy.

As a side note, today was also Nathan’s first meeting with the ASL Institute Council. As I mentioned before, the members are scattered all over the U.S., so the meetings are held via Zoom. Also remember that only two or three of the council are hearing. All the rest are deaf. The rest of us were working on our Saturday jobs while Nathan was having his meeting. It was Matthew’s turn to vacuum, but he was web browsing instead of vacuuming so like a diligent mother, I asked him why his job wasn’t done yet. He told me that he was waiting to do the vacuuming so he wouldn’t disrupt Nathan’s meeting. While that was thoughtful and all, my response was, “Ummm, Matthew, the meeting is in ASL. Running the vacuum won’t matter.” There was a huge “duh” moment and then he got out the vacuum. And I laughed. 😂

My family laughs kind of a lot. We chuckle, we giggle, we snicker, we chortle, and sometimes we outright guffaw. We honestly enjoy being together and that is reflected in the way we interact with one another. As such, it seems oddly appropriate that this post has ended up being a combination of a glorious afternoon spent in the temple with my eternal family and an occurrence at home that made me laugh. I know a lot of the world thinks of heaven as being a peaceful, serene place where we float around on clouds all day playing harps. But not me. My version of heaven is a joyful, happy place where my family and I are engaged in a rousing game of Phase 10 or And It Came to Pass. There will be laughter, and light, and endless quality family time. I hope to see you all there. And bring your favorite game. We’ll have lots of time to play!

Mixed Feelings

There are lots of conflicting emotions at our house today. Nathan arrived home and he looked weary and headachy and thinner when he stepped off the plane. He’s relieved to be home because it means he can actually stop and give his body the time and sleep it needs to begin the process off breaking the headache. He knows home is where he is supposed to be, but he’s also worried about some of the missionaries he left behind. He’s glad he has an appointment with the neurologist first thing tomorrow because he is well and truly tired of having a headache. He doesn’t know what it feels like not to have a headache anymore. I can understand that completely. He also said that the 90-degree weather with nearly no humidity felt nice and cool.

I’m relieved he is home so I can finally do something to help him. I’m also worried about him and anxious to get him to the doctor so we can start the process of finding what his body needs to help improve the headache situation. I’m sad for the time he won’t have in Texas and so, so sorry that the headaches he has inherited from me have thrown a monkey wrench into his life plan. But I’m also at peace, knowing that coming home was the right choice for him to make.

Kevin is also relieved that Nathan is finally home and has worked really hard over the past week to have everything ready for him to arrive so that he can just crash and sleep as long as he needs. He’s trying to anticipate Nathan’s needs and is working hard to give Nathan the time and space he needs to figure out what is next. 

When we told Daniel that Nathan was coming home, Daniel laughed. It wasn’t a mean or hard-hearted laugh though, just a “isn’t life ironic” chuckle seeing as Daniel came home just a couple days after his six-month mark and Nathan’s arrival home followed almost exactly the same timeline. With Daniel away at school, his day-to-day life hasn’t been changed much by Nathan’s absence, but they have become good friends and I know that having him back in Logan whenever his path leads him back to school will be nice for Daniel.

For Matthew, having Nathan home is strange because it was definitely not the plan. The unexpected arrival home of his brother who was supposed to be gone for much longer is kind of making his brain spin as he reestablishes what our home life is like right now. Mentally he had planned to see Nathan again when he was more than halfway through high school, so he is trying to realign his expectations with our newly adjusted family plan.

Malia is just glad Nathan is home. She and Toothless created a wonderful welcome home for Nathan before she went to school this morning. Being the youngest has been a bit hard for her because she feels like all her brothers are leaving her behind. There’s nothing we can do to change that, and we wouldn’t if we could since we have raised our children with the goal of having them become independent, responsible, and confident adults, but it has been hard on Malia. Nathan having Tiny Toothless as a travel companion was all about having a personal connection to Malia and Big Toothless here at home relinquished his shirt, tie and missionary badge at the same time Nathan did.

So yes, there are lots of varied feelings at my house right now. But that’s ok. As we all know, life leads us down unexpected paths and all these ups and downs are giving us opportunities to learn and grow. In addition, as we learn in the Book of Mormon, there must be opposition in all things. (2 Nephi 2:11) These many mixed feelings are definitely a good example of that opposition.

A Bunch of Chicks

Remember the chicken that Malia made in her sewing camp? Remember that I said she wanted to make chickens for pretty much everyone she knows? Well, she had this grand plan to sew chickens for everyone who would be attending our girls’ trip to Cedar City. She spent the week before gathering info about favorite colors and crafted a chicken for each of her aunts and cousins who would be attending. She was going to give everyone their chickens when we arrived in Cedar City and the plan was to have at least one chicken in every picture we took on our trip. It was going to be so much fun. And then…Covid happened. She had finished all the chickens by the time we found out we couldn’t go and that was one of the things she was upset about. She had worked so hard, had spent so much time, and now her wonderful plans were spoiled. She still planned to gift her flock, but she felt like it wouldn’t be special anymore. I assured her that it would be. When you put thought, time, and effort into creating something wonderful for the people you love, it is always special. Nonetheless, it was one of her great disappointments.

Today we had lunch at my parents’ house, and we knew that Rachael and her girls would be there, so Malia carefully packed her chickens into a backpack so she could distribute them to those in attendance. When we arrived, we were surprised to see that both Patti and Esther were there too. Yay! The only one who was not present was Sarah, but since she lives in Idaho, that was not at all unexpected. Malia gave out her hens and everyone loved them. While we didn’t get the fun trip part, they were still a special gift that she had created for each of them. 

One random tidbit about all these chickens is that the only planned road trip participant who doesn’t have one is me. I guess that tells you where I fall in Malia’s list of important people. But I’m not offended. Honestly! I think it’s funny. 😂 And I LOVE that she loves her family!

It’s All Relative

Yesterday morning I was reading a talk about parenting lessons we can learn from the Book of Mormon. As my mind was pondering on the importance of family in the Lord’s plan, I was reminded of an interesting connection that we made back at the end of May. My nephew Jacob, Rachael’s oldest son, graduated from high school and when we received his graduation announcement, the first thing we thought was, “Gosh! Jacob looks a lot like Matthew!” I then sent a picture of Matthew to Rachael and her first thought was, “Gosh! Matthew looks a lot like Jacob!” We couldn’t see it when they were younger, but as they have both matured, the resemblance has become quite clear. Other than their very different coloring, these two look remarkably similar. They must be related or something. 😉

The World’s Best Parenting Manual

 Yesterday I was counseling with one of my kids concerning a hard situation in which he finds himself. As we talked, a scripture from the book of Alma came to mind. 

“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.” Alma 37:6-7

This scripture is Alma counseling his son Helaman. I shared my insights into these verses, things that I have learned in my own life, and gave what was hopefully some sage advice. Sometimes it is hard to know exactly what to say to a child who is in the midst of a difficult time of life, but often I feel like the Spirit is feeding me information and this was one of those moments.

As I was pondering on that later in the day, I was reminded of just many times a parent counsels a child in the Book of Mormon: Lehi and all his sons, Alma the elder to Alma the Younger, Mosiah to his sons, Mormon to Moroni, and Alma the younger to Helaman and his other sons, just to name a few. That thought was followed by another reminding me that the Book of Mormon was written for us, the saints living in the last dispensation. While the principles contained therein are eternal, they were recorded and later translated to give us the knowledge we would need to come unto Christ and to thrive in the midst of the adversities of these last days.

Two years ago, I mentioned the fact that the parenting manuals don’t have a section on how to counsel your kids when they are living through a pandemic. Yesterday I had a realization that perhaps just such a parenting manual exists. No, the Book of Mormon does not tell us exactly what to say to a child who is freaking out because they have been quarantined, but its principles do teach us how to navigate through our troubled world and how to find joy as we do so. It contains lessons on how to find peace in troubled times, how to remain righteous as the world around becomes increasingly more wicked, what we need to do to gain eternal life, and countless others. And yes, it does in fact contain some amazing examples of how to be a good parent in the last days. In its very first chapters, we meet Lehi who is the parent of some very righteous as well as some very rebellious children and chronicles the many struggles his family faces.

In the past several years as we have focused on other books of scripture for “Come Follow Me,” I have chosen to include a topical study of the Book of Mormon to my study plans. I think my next area of study will be to look for counsel on parenting and family relationships. After all, the family is the basic unit of both society and eternity, and we know that all we do and all we learn in the church is to help us to be worthy to participate in the covenants that seal us to our loved ones forever. 

Mother’s Day was two days ago. Nathan was able to call and played a lovely little piano arrangement for me in honor of the day. Unfortunately, the video chatting programs all have elements meant to factor out background noise which means music doesn’t work well over the web. But he played it anyway and then recorded it and sent a video. Nathan and Malia made me a lovely little ring tree when they had their ceramics outing earlier in the year. They gave it to me before Nathan left in March because Malia wanted him to be here when it was gifted. I laughed out loud when I opened it because it is in the shape of a cactus, and they had included a comment stating that it was a plant that would never die. They know I struggle with house plants. 😂

People tell me all the time that Kev and I have done a great job raising our kids. I counter that by telling them that we were blessed with great kids, and we have just helped them along on their journeys through life. We honestly feel that way. Every day I feel immense gratitude for the opportunity to be their mother and for the impact they have had on my life. Raising them has made me a better person, has taught me to love and serve in a way nothing else could, and has enriched my life in countless ways. I’m constantly humbled by the fact that the Lord trusted me to raise these kids.

Family Focused Weekend

In anticipation of Nathan’s imminent departure for his mission, Daniel came home on Friday night so we could spend this entire weekend together as a family. Nathan will be home for another week and a half, but Daniel has to go back to Logan for school on Monday and will be in Las Vegas with the pep band next weekend, so this weekend was our last chance to gather together until Nathan comes home from Texas in two years. We all made this time together our priority and tried to take advantage of every minute.

Yesterday we all showed up to cheer Matthew on at his Youth Harmony Day concert. Kevin and Matthew had planned to dash off to Provo for the last BYU basketball game of the season as soon as the concert was over, but a last-minute change of heart took Matthew to the high school instead to see his friends perform in the school musical. The basketball game had remained on the calendar because Kev and I both felt like giving Daniel and Nathan some one-on-one time while the rest of us were otherwise engaged would be a good thing. Daniel and Nathan have become good friends as they have grown up, and Kev and I felt that giving them some time together needed to be a priority. So having Matthew opt to go to the school was just fine and still allowed my two oldest boys to have some time together.

The last-minute change of plans for Matthew and Kev didn’t alter plans for the rest of us. We headed home via Tsunami, our favorite sushi and Japanese food restaurant. Daniel, Nathan, Malia and I had a tasty meal and enjoyed some lively conversation and plenty of laughs along with our food. I think our tendency to laugh when we are together is good. The lighthearted moments help balance out the stresses of life and is one of the things I love about my family. As my kidlets have grown up and the amount of contention between them has diminished considerably, our time together has most definitely become more of a delight. 

After dinner we headed home where Malia and I went off to our showers while Daniel and Nathan had some quality brother time playing the Lego Incredibles video game. The kids have discovered that they enjoy playing dual character games from time to time. In fact, Daniel even figured out how to play two player games via the internet so he can play with his sibs while he is in his apartment in Logan. While it may seem trivial, this video playing time and the conversation and banter that accompanies it has become one of the ways that my kids can enjoy their time together. Malia had her turn with Nathan playing the Lego Marvel video game and then we switched to card games and proceeded to stay up way to late. I think the late hour was fine for the kids, but I’m getting old and don’t function as well as I used to in the wee hours of the night. 😉

Sunday started off with a delightful breakfast of strawberry waffles. The weekly waffle routine began as a way to keep feeding eggs to Matthew on a regular basis, but since then has kind of turned into a Sunday morning family tradition to which we all look forward. After we consumed far too many waffles covered in berries and cream, we played games until it was time to head to the stake center for Nathan to be set apart. Both Kevin and Daniel were invited to stand in the circle as the stake president set Nathan apart as a full-time missionary. Some of Nathan’s questions and concerns were addressed in the blessing and he was promised some amazing things. He came away feeling calm and imbued with the Spirit. As for the rest of us, it was one of those moments when things suddenly get very real. Nathan put on his missionary tags as soon as the blessing was over, and it was a visual reminder that his time here at home is very short indeed.

Sunday afternoon and evening were spent playing even more games and having dinner and dessert together one last time before Daniel headed back to school. We have decided we should start revisiting all our FHE favorite treats from times past, so we ate a delicious carrot cake. It was accompanied by huckleberry ice cream, which is an unusual pairing, but Kev happened to spot some Aggie Ice Cream at a new market that just opened in our area and grabbed it knowing it is one of Nathan’s favorites. Not only is the huckleberry one of Nathan’s favorite flavors from his local university creamery, but it also invokes fond feelings and warm memories of his semester at USU and makes him look forward to the time when he can return. Since we aren’t certain that the Aggie ice cream is safe for Malia, we also ended up with some Meadow Gold huckleberry so she could enjoy the same treat the rest of us were having. Even Matthew got to sample the huckleberry goodness due to one last jar of huckleberry jam we picked up on our trip to Yellowstone three years ago and had tucked away in the basement. He stirred some into his vanilla ice cream and quite enjoyed it.

After we ate far more cake and ice cream than was good for us, we read through the letter that is sent to the families of the missionaries to help us know what to expect as Nathan starts his home MTC time together. One last family prayer followed our discussion and then a couple more rounds of games until Daniel had to head back to Logan.

This past week has been hard. I don’t know about everyone else, but for my family, we have discovered that the adversary picks at us extra hard when are approaching a significant spiritual event in our lives. This week has been an incredibly hard one with every single member of my family feeling the weight of the adversary. It has also been a week of wild emotions and some incredible spiritual experiences. After all those ups and downs over the past week, this weekend felt like a little bubble of peace. My family has been surrounded by calm, by the Spirit, and although I know there are hard days ahead for all of us as Nathan leaves for a time, this weekend has definitely been a joyful one filled with love and quality family time. It will be two years before we get to do it again and as such, I feel all the more blessed that we had such an amazing weekend.

Family History and Ancient History

Today we took advantage of Matthew and Malia’s last official day of fall break to take a road trip. We have been talking about going to dig trilobites at a quarry that is about three hours from here and decided it would be a great day for that experience. The quarry is about an hour outside of Delta and since that is where my dad grew up, we took time to stop by my grandparents’ graves as well as drive by the farm where my dad grew up. It is a rural area, still all farmland, and very different from the life that my kids know so I’m hoping it was meaningful for them to visit these spots so they can know a bit more about their ancestors. This evening after we returned home, I spent some time on Family Search showing them pictures of my dad’s folks so they would have some idea of who we were talking about. My mom has spent a lot of time uploading pictures, documents, written memories, life sketches, etc. to Family Search since she retired years back and I’m so grateful for the time she has spent as it puts a variety of information at my fingertips and allows my children and me to learn more about our ancestors.

After our stop in Delta, we drove out to the quarry. It is about an hour outside of Delta and is truly in the middle of nowhere. My siblings and I always tease my dad about growing up in the middle of nowhere, but in all reality, there are placed even more in the middle of nowhere and the quarry is smack in the middle of one. It was a great day to be there though. This is the last week the quarry will be open this season. They will close in the winter and reopen in the spring. In the summer months it is unbelievable hot and dry out there. It is the middle of the desert after all. But today it was around 60 degrees with enough cloud cover to keep things nice and cool. We were provided with rock hammers and had a fantastic time splitting the limestone shale to find the trilobites. It was much easier to break the rock apart than I anticipated it would be, and it was oddly satisfying to take a whack at a rock and have it split right down the middle. Even Malia could easily break the rock. Matthew started off in a great spot and found a variety of good specimens right off the bat. Malia found a bunch as well. Between the four of us, we probably ended up hauling about 40 lbs. of rocks out of the quarry, each having a trilobite of some size.

This was one of those days when everything went just exactly the way we had planned. We arrived at each location just when we planned, had all the time we wanted at each spot, and made it home right on schedule. There was no bickering in the car and none of us came away feeling disgruntled with how the day progressed. It turned out to be a day that was just right. Gotta love days like that. It was definitely some high-quality family time. Oh, and since it was a road trip, Matthew and Malia both selected Twizzlers and Corn Nuts as their travel snacks at our first pit stop.😂

 

 

“The Hearts of the Children”

One of the many things that makes our church different from the many other Christian religions is the fact that we perform ordinances for the dead. We know that the ties that bind us in life can continue into the eternities, and we want to allow everyone, including those who have already died, the opportunity to claim these blessings. As a result, there is a great focus on family history work in conjunction with temple work. I have been blessed to have children that have a deep-seated desire to serve in the temple, and since technology has made family history work simpler and more accessible than ever before, more often than not they are taking family names when they go. That is where this particular story begins.

During the summer of 2019, Nathan had a goal to go to the temple as often as possible. He used the Family Tree app and located many family names, including the names of seven siblings who needed all their work done. They just happened to share our last name, which was extra cool. My parents had scheduled a family sealing session at the end of August to do some sealings for family names which they had been working to complete ordinances for, so we made a goal to have all the siblings ready to be sealed to their parents at the end of the summer. My boys and their friends did the baptisms and confirmations for those seven siblings. Daniel and I spent the summer doing the initiatory and endowment work for them all. And by August, we were ready for them to be sealed to their parents.

August 23, 2019 was the family sealing session. Nathan and Matthew did some more baptisms while those of us who were able gathered in the sealing room upstairs. Being together in the sealing room with my parents, my sisters and their spouses, Kevin and Daniel was an amazing experience. I love being in the temple at any time but being in the temple with my family is truly the best of the best. Being sealed as a family is the culminating ordinance that is performed in the temple, so being there with my kin is kind of like a glimpse into the promise of eternal family. The sealings of those siblings to their parents were done one after another and when the last one was completed, Kevin told us that they were present, and they were so excited about the work we had just done. However, that was not what I felt. I had an overwhelming feeling that we had forgotten someone. The feeling was so strong that it brought me to tears. Yes, I know that’s not hard to do, but it was an unmistakable impression, one that I could not ignore.

As soon as we got back to the car, I pulled out my phone and looked up the family in question in Family Tree. Sure enough, there were two siblings for whom we had not done work. One of them, a brother, had his name reserved by someone else. Another, the youngest sister, needed more time to elapse before we could do her work because her birthdate was too recent. We took note of how much longer we needed to wait (just a few months) and made a mental note to check back then. In the meantime, Daniel started working sideways and found Myrtle, the wife of one of the brothers. We got her baptism and confirmation done in the last few weeks before Daniel left on his mission. In October when it had been long enough that we could do her ordinances, we checked back in with Ida, the youngest sister for whom we still needed to do work. At that time, her name had been reserved by someone else. That was fine with us. We didn’t care who did the work as long as it got done.

A few months later, the world changed when COVID-19 became came crashing into our lives. Everything closed, including the temples, and as we grappled with a variety of troubles and anxieties, doing work for our ancestors took a back seat to more immediate concerns.

It was more than a year later when the temples began to reopen for proxy work. The baptistries opened first and appointments filled incredibly quickly. Like us, everyone was anxious to return to the temple. I felt very blessed to be able to snag an appointment for my boys to go do baptisms for the dead in mid-June of 2021. While they waited for that appointment, Nathan was preparing to go to the temple for his own endowment. It took a while for the necessary appointments to be made and the interviews to occur, but once all was in order, he scheduled his endowment for the beginning of July. All my menfolk attended the temple for our baptistry appointment on June 12. While they were there, one of the temple workers mentioned to Kevin that we should be sitting at our computer at noon on June 30. The kind temple lady was not able to tell him any more than that, but I tucked that bit of info into a corner of my mind and watched the calendar.

Near the end of June, the email announcing the opening of our temple for all proxy ordinances arrived. The date on which proxy work would resume was June 29, 2021, just three days before Nathan’s July 2 live endowment session. I immediately got online to try to schedule a visit. All the timeslots for endowment sessions were filled, but I was able to schedule a sealing session for August 6. I then turned to initiatory hoping I could snag a time to do the next step in Myrtle’s work. Unbelievably, there were still two appointments available on July 1 which meant I could complete Myrtle’s initiatory work and then do her endowment work the following day when Nathan did his live endowment. It felt like a huge blessing, which it was, and I was incredibly excited.

On Sunday, June 27, we were sharing with Daniel all the excitement about the reopening temples and our upcoming appointments. Talk of the temple brought to mind those last two siblings, Alonzo and Ida, and Daniel checked their status in Family Tree. We were all surprised to find that both names had been shared with the temple which meant he was able to reserve them so we could do the work. Alonzo had been baptized but not confirmed and Ida’s work had not been started yet. We bemoaned the fact that there were no available appointments in the baptistry because if things had lined up right, I could take Ida’s name to my initiatory appointment on Thursday and then to the endowment session on Friday. We had plenty of family members coming to be able to do all the endowments, but there was no time for baptisms. I only half-jokingly suggested that one of us could stand outside the baptistry on Tuesday morning and beg for someone to take those two names but thought that might not be well accepted by other temple patrons in the middle of a pandemic.  

On Wednesday, June 30, I was sitting at my computer at noon just as the kindly temple worker had advised. I was hoping that new baptistry appointments would be posted so that I could schedule another time for Matthew to go to the temple. I watched and refreshed my browser continually for several hours and nothing new appeared. At that point I assumed something must have changed since we had been given the tip, stopped watching and got on with my day.

After dinner that evening, it occurred to me that I should check one more time, just in case. I did so, and to my great astonishment, one appointment for baptisms was available for that very evening. It was the last appointment of the day and we had just over an hour until participants needed to be at the temple. I immediately reserved the appointment, crying all the time, because I knew that it was a miracle for my family. The only reason I had even checked for appointments that day was the tip the temple worker had given Kevin several weeks previous, and I felt a great amount of gratitude for her comment. It helped us be in the right place at the right time. Having that one appointment pop up meant someone else had cancelled, so whoever they were, they had my gratitude as well for the miracle they helped create. My appointment to do initiatories was the next day and we had been blessed with a way to get Ida’s baptism and confirmation done in preparation for the next ordinance. The first roadblock cleared, we drove into the next one. Both Nathan and Matthew were going to the temple, but neither of them could stand as proxy for Ida. Kevin and I were in the process of refinancing our mortgage and the closing was scheduled for 7:00 that evening so I could not go. We needed a sister.

Nathan and Matthew got on their phones and started texting everyone they could think of to try to find a friend to attend with them. I pulled up the ward list and started calling everyone who had a daughter who might be able to go. As it was the very last minute, everyone we contacted was unavailable. I was starting to get discouraged but had a thought to try Samantha, a young sister in our ward who is Nathan’s age and had just graduated from high school. I called her mom, but she did not answer and her mailbox was full so I couldn’t leave a message. I figured that was a dead end and went back to my list to see if I had missed someone that I thought might want to go. A minute later, Nathan said that he should just call Samantha directly, which he did. She answered and told him that they were out to dinner as a family which is why her mom had not answered. But her mom is the relief society compassionate service leader and when a member of the relief society presidency called followed immediately by her son calling, Samantha figured they had better answer just in case someone had died. In short order, she told Nathan she would be going to the temple. I’m not ashamed to say that I actually cheered and did a little happy dance. A bit later, Samantha told Nathan that she had been praying for an opportunity to go to the temple. While she was an answer to our prayers, it seems we were an answer to hers. That’s the Lord’s hand in our lives. Nathan performed Ida’s baptism and Samantha acted as proxy. Nathan told me that as he said the words of the ordinance, he felt a little gush of excitement that was not his own and in his mind, he felt someone urging him to say the words faster. It would seem that the veil was thin, and Ida was sharing her joy. Alonzo’s confirmation was also completed that evening.

The next day we faced our next hurdle. I was ready to do the initiatory work for Ida and her sister-in-law Myrtle, but we had no way to get Alonzo’s initiatory done. Both Daniel and Kevin had to work and there were no appointments available when they were not working. I arrived at the temple with Alonzo’s name card in my hand, prepared to ask questions about the possibility of having someone else do the next step in his work. I asked the temple worker who was checking reservations whether or not it was possible to get his ordinance done. She didn’t know and suggested we ask her shift supervisor. Before she even completed the sentence, her shift supervisor walked through the door. I repeated my question and when she didn’t know either, she suggested we ask the temple recorder.

We made our way to the temple offices, and I explained the situation to the temple recorder. My son was going to the temple for his own endowment the next day and we had been unable to get an appointment for my own menfolk to do the initiatory. Was there any way to get that ordinance done so we could do his endowment the following day? If the temple were open as it normally would be, there would be ample opportunity to get the ordinance done, but the need to schedule everything had left us with few options if we were to get the work done in time. The temple recorder asked who would be doing the endowment for Alonzo and I told him it would be either my husband or my already endowed oldest son. After a moment of thought, the recorder responded, “We’re living in uncommon times. I’m willing to make an exception to policy because I have a feeling this will be a very special experience for your family.” And then I cried. Of course. Bawl baby gene, remember? And I thanked him profusely. He took my phone number and told me he would call when the work was done.

The cool thing about doing proxy work for Ida was the fact that my last name is the same as hers and as such, whenever they said my name (which is also her name), I felt a little bubble of excitement. She was there with me and thrilled at the progress. I was able to complete Myrtle’s initiatory as well. As for me, it was wonderful to be back in the temple. The world had been extra chaotic and stressful over the previous year and a half and walking in the temple door and feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders was a true blessing.

Later that afternoon, at 4:23 p.m., to be precise, the phone rang. It was the temple recorder letting me know that Alonzo’s initiatory work had been done. That was another little miracle. I didn’t even note this dear brother’s name, but he helped facilitate another of our temple miracles and I am enormously grateful for him.

The following day was Nathan’s live endowment. I took Ida’s name and Kev’s sister-in-law took Myrtle’s. Daniel took Alonzo’s. Once again Ida shared her rush of enthusiasm with me, that little bubble of excitement when our name was said. Because of the COVID restrictions, our family members were the only ones in the session with us. It was small and intimate, such an amazing experience to look around the ordinance room and know that my covenants bind me to every single one of them. As I’ve said before, being in the temple with my family is the most amazing thing. And being able to do more work for Ida, Alonzo and Myrtle was another blessing.

A month has passed since then and this afternoon was our scheduled sealing session. Kevin, Daniel, Nathan, Kev’s mom and I attended and were finally able to seal Alonzo and Ida to their parents and Myrtle to her husband. As I knelt as Ida’s proxy one more time, I didn’t feel excitement. What I felt was peace and a sense of completion. In my mind were the words, “It’s finished.” Ida was finally sealed to her family. And she was at peace. After more than two years of waiting, which included a pause in temple work and many miracles for our family, one more family who is finally all bound together. Someday I’m going to meet Ida and I’m going to be able to thank her for letting us be a part of her story. Her great desire to be sealed to her family provided my family the opportunity to serve her and her family, the chance to see the Lord at work in our lives, and the blessing of increased faith and testimony of temple and family history work.

I have gained several important things over the course of this adventure. First, I have learned to love and appreciate the temple even more than I used to. I hope I never again take it for granted. I think that’s another blessing that has come in the wake of COVID. We usually have such easy access to so many temples that it can be easy to make going an ordinary occurrence. But it really shouldn’t become ordinary to us. It should always be viewed as a blessing, an opportunity to learn, to draw nearer to the Lord and to leave the world behind for a bit. I know that doing an endowment session is what most people do most of the time, but I have loved participating in the other ordinances as well. There are such amazing blessings associated with the other covenants we make and being reminded of them has helped strengthen and guide me.

Second, I have experienced firsthand the power of family history work and the love and blessings that doing temple work on behalf of our own family can bring to our lives. They are more than just names on paper. They are people, real men and real women and even more than that, they are kin. Ultimately, that’s what the temple is all about. It’s about sealing us to those we love the most so that we may be with them forever. D&C 2:2 says “And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.” I have seen that happen in my family. As we have all worked together to complete the temple work for another family, we have learned to love our ancestors a bit more.

Third, I have gained a greater testimony of the fact that our spirits are eternal and that all we are taught about what comes after this life is real. Ida and her family have touched me and my family. We all believe that Ida was anxious and ready to get her work done. She had waited long enough to be sealed to her parents and as soon as possible, she was pulling strings on her side of the veil so that we would have the miracles we needed on our side. During the first week that the temple was reopened for proxy work, my family was able to go into the temple three days in a row. You can’t tell us that’s not a miracle. We know it is. I’m not sure why Ida chose me to inspire, but I’m so grateful for her. She has been in my mind and in my heart and as I’ve told my family, Ida was driving the bus. I was just along for the ride. And what an amazing ride it has been.

A Joyful Day

When I was a young adult, the standard in the church was that people went to the temple for their endowment when they were preparing to leave on a mission or when they were getting married. In fact, many women went to the temple for the first time on the same day that they got married. I was an exception to that tradition. I received my endowment when I was twenty-two. I was not getting married nor was I going on a mission, but I knew that it was the right time for me to go and was blessed to have a bishop that agreed. When I met with my stake president (who happened to be Truman G. Madsen) for my temple recommend interview, he asked if I was getting married or serving a mission and when I responded in the negative, he exclaimed, “What is ‘Bishop’s Last Name Here’ doing to me?” I was not cowed however, and when I explained the spiritual promptings and course of events that had led me to his office, he showed trust in me and my bishop and proceeded to hold the interview and sign my recommend.

Unlike many friends and schoolmates who had been shocked or felt completely overwhelmed upon their taking part in the temple ordinances, I was completely at peace. Everything felt familiar and right and I came away feeling spiritually uplifted and strengthened. In fact, when I returned to my apartment the day after my temple trip, I remember ward members in my BYU student ward commenting that I looked happy and light. Well, that’s exactly how I felt.

Throughout the past year as Nathan has planned and prepared for his life after graduation, he didn’t feel a need to wait until right before his mission to go to the temple. In fact, he had a great desire to go to the temple as soon as possible after his eighteenth birthday. He felt like the temple was an important step of his spiritual progression and not just a footnote to serving a mission. Kevin and I were in complete agreement on that matter. We knew that the temple and the covenants he would make would bring him greater peace as well as give him the spiritual strength and protection he needed to withstand the attacks of the adversary that are not only becoming increasingly bold in general but were escalating in his own life as he was preparing for college and mission.

As soon as he graduated, he met with the bishop to interview for his temple recommend. He was told that he would be contacted by the stake to schedule his interview with the stake president, so he waited. And waited. And then waited some more. He waited patiently at first, then with increasing stress and impatience as the wait stretched to weeks and weeks. He had scheduled his date with the temple and was starting to be concerned that he would have to cancel his appointment because he didn’t have a signed recommend. He started texting and calling the stake executive secretary regularly and when that proved fruitless, Kevin finally texted one of the counselors in the stake presidency to see if he could get a response. A few days later, the stake president finally contacted Nathan and within a few days, his interview was held. There was a general sign of relief once the recommend was in his hand.

Today was the appointed day and we have had some miracles along the way. We were able to bring several family names to the temple and there will be a story to tell after one more trip to the temple next month. With COVID accommodations still in force, Nathan was able to invite only sixteen people to be in the session with him. That number worked out exactly right for Kevin and me, Daniel, grandparents, aunts, uncles, his friend Tate and one of his adopted mothers who was a bright spot at school during this past year. Those on Kev’s side of the family were able to go to the temple in November when his niece went for the first time and a few were able to attend the sealing when another of his nieces was married in March, but my family has not been able to enter the temple since COVID forced closures last March. As such, it was a tender mercy for my family to be back in the temple. I always love attending the temple with family because that’s what it’s all about and being there with two of my own children brought me joy. I can hardly wait until Malia is old enough to come with us. She has another year and a half until she will be able to do baptisms for the dead and my little crew is all looking forward to being able to gather together in the temple. It will actually end up being closer to three years since Nathan will be on his mission when she is finally old enough, but we are all anxious to be there together.

Since the session this morning, Nathan has been unbelievably happy. His experience was like mine in that he was not surprised nor overwhelmed. Everything felt familiar and right. He was definitely spiritually ready to take this step. He has been asking questions like crazy and talking nonstop about how amazing the temple is. He has shared some things that he learned and gushed about how at peace he is. He has an enthusiasm and joy for the temple that I love to see. He can hardly wait to go again.

It was nearly a perfect day in the temple. Two kids to go and then it will be a perfect day in the temple.