The Light and The Blight

Have you ever wondered how many of our lifelong neurosis are caused by trauma inflicted upon us by our siblings? Even though we can't remember all the things that happen when we are young and impressionable, I believe that many of our fears and anxieties can be directly linked to experiences in our formative years. Many of which are undoubtedly caused by our siblings. Right now I am having a picture in my mind of Matthew at age 30, so unnerved by the vacuum that he can't force himself to pull the thing out and help his poor overworked wife clean the carpet. I'll give you one guess as to which sibling caused his lifelong trauma. As I'm sure most of you suspected, Nathan is the culprit. No surprise there. Matthew is the light and the blight of his four year old world.

Matthew used to have a very healthy relationship with our vacuum. He would chase it around, try to push it, pull it over on himself, etc. But about two weeks ago, that all changed. Nathan turned on the vacuum without warning, startling Matthew. And then he proceeded to chase Matthew with the vacuum while Matthew attempted to get away as fast as he could toddle. But Nathan was faster and relentless and eventually trapped Matthew in the corner of the bedroom with the vacuum (still turned on of course). There was shrieking such as I have never heard that day. And Matthew has not recovered. Every time he sees the vacuum, he runs for cover (or for Daddy if Kev is home).

Today I made Nathan vacuum the floor after lunch due to the enormously high volume of cracker crumbs all over the carpet. As soon as Nathan opened the closet to get out the vacuum, Matthew high tailed it to the point in the room farthest from the vacuum. I was washing dishes so I didn't hear Nathan approach, but all of a sudden Matthew complained. I turned around and Nathan had Matthew trapped in the corner of the kitchen with the vacuum. It wasn't on, but Matthew was still very nervous. Anyway, Nathan got reprimanded for scaring his brother, told not to do it again, to please just vacuum the floor, etc. But all he heard was, "Blah, blah, blah," because as soon as he was done cleaning up the crumbs, he had the vacuum aimed at Matthew again. I reprimanded him again, telling him that it is just plain mean and he is the reason Matthew is afraid of the vacuum and just get done and put the thing away! So he unplugged it, rolled the cord up, waited until I wasn't looking and then instead of rolling the vacuum back into the closet, pushed it all the way across the room to position it right in front of Matthew again. By then poor Matthew had that deer in the headlights look. So Nathan and I had what my dad refers to as a "Come to Jesus" talk. I asked my four year old if Jesus would want him scaring Matthew with the vacuum. Nathan answered in the negative of course, because he is not a stupid kid. Then I asked him if it makes Jesus happy when he scares his brother on purpose. Again Nathan knew the right answer. I reminded him to be nice because that is what Jesus wants us to do. Fortunately for me, this week's family home evening lesson was on just this topic so I had a recent conversation to remind him of.

Thus ended today's vacuum terror, but I'm sure that in another dark moment, Nathan will be at it again. Poor Matthew doesn't stand a chance.

Here is a fine visual example of Nathan with his light . . .

. . .and his blight.