Braving Prom

During his three years in high school, Matthew has really only gone to one of the formal dances. He has had a variety of reasons, not the least of which has been the enormous amount of social drama all around him and his great desire to stay out of it, so he has made himself intentionally unavailable on those evenings. But as his senior year is winding down, both Kevin and I have encouraged him to jump in a bit more and experience a few things so that he doesn’t have any regrets later. He has taken this to heart and has really jumped in with both feet, which is kind of funny since he only has enough actual classes to fill half of each school day! He still isn’t home any more than in the past though. He comes home for lunch and then goes back to school and fills the remainder of the day with practice, stage tech jobs, etc.

Matthew has always been a band kid so most of his friends were other band kids. But he has been assimilated into the choir program this year as a member of the vocal jazz choir, and he has made a number of new friends in the choir program. One of these is Megan, who just happens to have food allergies to many of the same things as Matthew does. He was so excited when he discovered that fact! He has met a number of people over the years with food allergies, but the ones whose allergies are similar in type and number have been few. He calls Megan his food allergy buddy and it has been so nice for him to be friends with someone who totally understands his life. 

By way of taking advantage of some experiences that won’t come again, he decided to go to prom. And he decided to ask Megan to go with him. There was a whole big fake kidnapping scenario that went into the asking and he got dropped a couple of times and the tech for the ransom video didn’t work out quite right, but fun was had, and the ask was received and in due time was accepted. The whole week leading up to prom was themed at school and he really had fun with that one. My favorite of his themed days was Dynamic Duos Day. He and Megan decided to go as Sheldon and Amy from “The Big Bang Theory” t.v. show. He shopped the D.I. and a local comic bookstore to put together just the right outfit. I rarely see him before school, so when he walked into the house for lunch that day, I laughed out loud. It was perfect!

Matthew has been making plans for weeks so that he and Megan could safely eat the same thing as their friends in the midst of a typical high school experience. He considered a home cooked meal at our allergy friendly house but ultimately opted to take his group to Tsunami. Now, this didn’t work out quite as well as he had hoped because Megan discovered that she really didn’t like the fish, but it was ok. Matthew got to have the experience of dressing up, eating out with his friends, and having the slightly awkward first dates that dances often are. 

Matthew has been ready to be done with high school all year. On the flip side, it is also kind of freaking Matthew out that he only has six weeks left before he graduates. It’s one of life’s common contradictions, the kinds that happen for all of us. But he has done really well making new friends and letting other people into his life a bit. He has been gone a lot and not just for scheduled school events. He has really developed the busy social life that seemed so unlikely when so many of his best band friends graduated last year. And I’m proud of him for being willing to try new things and let new people in. Not all these people will be lifelong friends. In fact, it’s highly likely that most of them won’t. But I feel like he has gathered some good kids around him this year and they have helped make this year happier and more successful than I think Matthew anticipated. 

Be True to Your School

Malia has embraced her new school and is exploring what social life looks like now that she has left elementary school behind. While she doesn’t care a whit about football, she has discovered that going to the high school football games is an opportunity to see friends. She has taken to wearing a baseball cap most of the time and now that she is one step closer to high school and knows that her entire school and all her new friends will feed to the same school, she has added a new hat to her wardrobe. Go Sentinels!

A Grand Start to Band

This evening was Matthew’s fall band concert. He was equal parts excited and nervous. This is his first official concert at the high school and as he is first trumpet as a sophomore, I think sometimes he feels like he needs to prove that he deserves that spot. He also had a big solo for one of the pieces, one that he has been working on for months. So having some nerves was to be expected. The theme of the concert was video game music, a super fun theme in my opinion, and the solo given to Matthew was from the game “Medal of Honor.” The band director wanted Matthew to play his solo from off stage for the ethereal effect, so he was hidden up in one of the openings for lighting on the side of the auditorium. And let me tell you, he did a spectacular job. Seriously. It was A-MAZ-ING!

I could not be prouder of how well Matthew has done. He started off with a good portion of natural talent, but he has been a dedicated band member and has really given it his all. This is the current band director’s first year at our high school. The previous director resigned and changed fields completely in order to meet the needs of his family. Matthew was really looking forward to working with the previous teacher and was devastated when he quit. Seriously, he was crushed to the point where he was going to do band this year because he had already committed to do so, and then decide whether he was going to continue in band or give it up. I didn’t want him to give up something that brings him such joy just because of a change in directors, but I didn’t say anything at the time hoping that by the time this school year ended he would have a rosier view. 

Well, Matthew’s view is definitely rosy. The new director has been amazing so far. He has already developed a good relationship with the kids and Matthew has been loving band. His first love is still jazz band, but he has really been enjoying his first marching band season as well. Matthew is so excited about many of the things that are planned for this year, and I’m glad he has jumped into high school with both feet. I hope the next three years will be filled with amazing experiences. 

And as a side note, Matthew was taking pictures in his hidden solo location before the concert started. He has a really good eye and took some amazing shots. All my kids have inherited the tendency to be shutterbugs from Kevin and with how good the cameras in cell phones have gotten, they always have access to a camera when the bug bites them. So Matthew’s little homage to his music was fun to see.

Glad to be a Grad

Although there were many times when it seemed like high school would never end, Nathan’s graduation day finally arrived. Last year’s seniors were unable to have a normal graduation, so they did a graduation parade instead. The parade was such a success that they did it again this year. The parade was yesterday evening, and although he waffled back and forth, Nathan decided to participate. He wasn’t sure he would since high school has not really been a happy time for him, but ultimately, he decided he was going to participate in all the traditional events that occur at the end of the school year. I think he was glad he did. I was certainly glad. Although his high school experience was not at all what he hoped it would be, I would hate for him to have regrets later in life. So Kevin drove, and Nathan hung out the car window and grinned and I think he enjoyed himself.

We weren’t certain that they would be able to hold a traditional graduation ceremony, and in fact none of the normal venues would allow that, but since this is only the second year our high school has been open, the graduating class was small enough that they were able to hold graduation on the football field. It was enormously hot, but I think that worked in our favor as those speakers who are well known for being long winded kept their remarks short and sweet. Nathan sang with the Madrigals and because he had a solo and the choir sat in the front rows, his was the very first name called. In fact, I’m not sure everyone was even ready because we barely heard his name. But we were watching and were able to cheer him on. He got a good cheer from the other seniors, and I honestly think that caught him by surprise. He has felt alone and friendless for most of high school and those choir people who he expected to be friends with didn’t turn out to be cronies, but he has found friends in unexpected places like physics and ASL. And he is a rather high-profile person at the high school whether he realizes it or not. Faculty, staff and students alike know who he is. He has made friends with the lunch ladies (which I love because most students are not nice to the cafeteria staff) and because of his kindness to them, they have a tendency to give him perks in the form of food. 😉

Speaking of ASL, Nathan earned the Utah State Seal of Biliteracy to accompany his diploma. Let me explain what that means. The state has a program where graduating seniors who are skilled in a foreign language can test to see if they are considered literate in their second language. If they are, they earn the seal of biliteracy which is basically and endorsement on their diploma stating that they are conversant in two languages. It is not an easy test, and it is estimated that students need at least four years of foreign language instruction in order to pass. There are different levels of biliteracy as well: beginner-high, medium or low; intermediate-high, medium or low; and advanced-high, medium or low. Nathan took ASL 1 as a junior, skipped ASL 2 and took ASL 3 as a senior. After only two years, he earned the seal of biliteracy passing at an intermediate-low level. He is one of only two students from his school who earned the seal. I believe the other student passed in French. Of all his ASL classmates from both high schools he has attended, I think there was only one other who passed. Needless to say, we are very proud of him. He has picked this language up incredibly easily and has discovered that he has quite a passion for it. He has a desire to learn more and wants to be able to become involved in the deaf community. I don’t know where this skill might take him, but for now, we are all pleased as punch with his accomplishment!

After lunch, Nathan went bowling with some friends. He opted to skip the grad night party since it was held at Lagoon and 1) he hates rollercoasters and such as they give him headaches, 2) he really didn’t feel safe driving home at 1:00 in the morning and 3) there were not a ton of people he wanted to hang out with anyway. He opted to spend the night at home instead where we celebrated with some delicious chocolate orange cheesecake. Nathan told me to surprise him with the flavor, so I made a creamy orange cheesecake and topped it with a dark chocolate ganache. I made a tiny one sans chocolate for me, and both turned out delicious. And then we watched a movie. So it was a low key grad night, but one that held exactly what Nathan wanted-some time with his few friends, a reason never go to the high school again, and cheesecake. Oh, and there were presents as well. Kev and I gave him a super cool game piece organizer for one of his favorite board games, my mom made him a super cool quilt that featured a piano keyboard, and there were the super dorky graduation socks we gave him on his birthday last week so he could wear them for the big day.

Although high school was not what he hoped it would be for a multitude of reasons, I’m very proud of how Nathan soldiered through. He did his best to be positive at school and while he had to verbal vomit on a regular basis once he got home, he had a reputation for being optimistic and upbeat at school. He was the “student of dreams” for several teachers in that he was so excited and enthusiastic about the topics being taught that he literally radiated joy and was always asking for more knowledge. Not many high school math or science teachers get that kind of enthusiasm from their students. And I can vouch for that enthusiasm because Nathan would come home and draw physics diagrams or physics problems on my white board as he was telling me about what he had learned that day. 😂

While many kids are reluctant to leave high school, Nathan is most definitely ready to be done with this chapter of his life. He has already been in contact with his academic advisor at the university on multiple occasions and for a variety of different reasons, has his schedule planned out, and is looking forward to experiencing college life. He can hardly wait to get started. Now he just has to wait out the summer…

 

He’s with the Band

The band teacher at the high school co-teaches the vocal jazz choir with the choir teacher and through that class, he got to know Nathan and became aware of his piano prowess. The funny thing is, the band teacher taught the early morning jazz band at the middle school last year, so he actually became acquainted with Matthew first. It was one of those rare situations where Nathan was Matthew’s brother rather than the reverse. This teacher loves Matthew’s trumpet skills and is very much looking forward to having him at the high school in another year. He has been trying to convince him to join the high school marching band for a couple of years already (middle schoolers are invited to participate with the high school marching band in our district), but around here we all feel that Matthew should be fully immersed where he is so he’s waiting until he actually gets to high school. Anyway, the band teacher needed a pianist to play for the end of year band concert and he asked Nathan if he would be willing to fill that need. Nathan was glad to oblige and several good photos of him were shared after the event. Nathan really does find joy in his piano playing. And playing for the band allowed him to enjoy the music minus all the drama that has been included in his choir experiences over the past three years. It wasn’t hard for him musically, but it was a chance to help create a bit of musical magic.

 

Finding the Good

Due to COVID, a lot of normal school events were cancelled last year. And since last year was the first year our high school was open, this second year has held a lot of firsts for the school. Among those was this evening’s Principal’s Reception. The event was basically the invitation only awards ceremony for those seniors who have earned top honors in a variety of different ways during the school year. The original plan was to hold a nice dinner like our principal did at his last school, but the district wouldn’t allow that due to COVID. They did get permission to do refreshments though, and they got some fancy ones, so it was still a nice event.

Nathan was selected as the math sterling scholar earlier this year so when we received an invitation, he assumed that would be the only honor he received. However, he was completely wrong in that assumption. He actually ended up being one of the students who was called to the front most often. He was recognized for being the math sterling scholar, a student who excelled in both academics and the arts, the senior who was the top in the math department, and a student who had a 4.0 gpa as well as an ACT score 30 or higher (Nathan got a 31 on the ACT). The school gifted each one of the top award-winning students with a blanket bearing the school mascot/slash logo and when Nathan got called up for his second award that came with a blanket, they joked about there being only one blanket for student. If they had given one per award, I think Nathan might have come home with three…

It ended up being a very nice evening, one that Nathan enjoyed far more than he thought he would. Kev and I were finally able to meet his physics, math and ASL teachers and although Nathan has had a rough year (or three) in high school, the reception helped him recognize that there has been a lot of good as well. He just found the good in different places than he expected. He has loved his physics and math classes and has made some friends there. He helped create an end of year escape room activity for the statistics classes which he loved. His teachers loved it too. It’s not often that you get a student who understands the material so easily and gets so excited about it that he goes home and uses his mom’s white board to explain the newest cool thing he learned in school. He started learning ASL during his time on stage crew in middle school, but I don’t think any of us were expecting him to pick it up so quickly and to love it as much as he does. He took ASL 1 as a junior, skipped right to ASL 3 as a senior, and ended up being at the student at the top of the class. He has stood out as a positive influence and a good example in the school as a whole, something that the admin made sure to point out. Apparently, he has been optimistic and upbeat, something that the school has sorely needed this year, and people have noticed. I don’t think he had any idea how much of a difference he has made, but he has been a source of good in his sphere of influence.

So yes, this has been an extremely difficult year for him. It has held challenges that none of us could have predicted a year and a half ago. He has dealt with a lot of disappointment and discouragement along the way, as well as a good amount of frustration and stress. But he not only survived, he managed to thrive in adversity (though he may not have been aware of it) and has made a difference for those around him. And he has learned a lot both in the classroom and out. Adversity makes us stronger, and I hope that Nathan will be able to see the strength he has gained as he finishes a chapter in his life and prepares to move on to the next one.

 

He’s a Gentleman and a Scholar

A few weeks ago, Nathan submitted applications for Sterling Scholar. He was allowed to submit applications for up to three different categories, so he chose to apply for the award in math, music and science. Each student was only allowed to win in one category. The kids who submitted more than one application were asked to rate them in terms of which was their preferred and least preferred so that if they were being considered for more than one, the committee would know which category was more important to the students. Nathan chose math as his top choice, then science and music.

Nathan got some good news yesterday. He actually had the choir teacher congratulate him and when he looked confused, the teacher made him check his email…right now! So Nathan checked and discovered that he was the school Sterling Scholar in math. Needless to say, he was super excited! He honestly loves math. Not only does it come easily to him, but he gets so excited about it. He comes home and draws equations on my white board and talks about all the stuff that fascinates him. He is nearly giddy about it sometimes. It is actually really funny how excited he gets about it!

Today he got another bit of info. He is on very good terms with the majority of his teachers and as such, they share information with him that they would not usually share with a student. Apparently, he was the top choice in all three categories in which he applied, and they chose which award to give him based on his personal preference. This is definitely not information to share with other students, especially those who applied in the same categories, but talk about an ego stroke!

I’m so pleased with how well Nathan has done in school. He is a good student, he enjoys learning, and his enthusiasm for his favorite topics is so obvious. As someone who is a teacher by trade, having a student who is excited about learning is always enjoyable and never happens as often as you’d like. So I can see how he was at the top of the list three times.

The Shoes Make the Outfit

While Nathan was at the Sweetheart’s dance two weeks ago, an invitation to Sweethearts at his old high school was dropped off. It was, for an invitation to a dance, a last-minute invite from a friend of his who had asked four other people and still did not have a date. Nathan, being the kind human being that he is, graciously accepted the invitation and yesterday was the dance. The theme was the 1920’s and that worked great because Nathan’s preferred dress shoes are very retro. His date was wearing a matching pair, which was super fun.

Unlike many of his dance (and day to day) experiences at his own school, it was a low stress event. He had a good time.

Blind Dates and Deaf Conversations

Last night was the Sweetheart’s Dance at the High School. After all the creative asking and answering of last week, I suspected it would be a fun group. Since Nathan is the only one who lives in close proximity to the high school, the plan was to gather up all the kids and spend the day date and dinner portion of the event at our house. The two kids that live in West Jordan drove down to our place and then Nathan drove all of them to Cedar Hills to pick up the other three. He said the drive back to our house a bit awkward which doesn’t surprise me. Blind dates are like that. The afternoon was spent playing board games and at some point, it was discovered that the two Cedar Hills kids that my nephew Jacob recruited for this adventure are both taking ASL (American Sign Language). Nathan is also taking ASL and absolutely loves it. With a common interest discovered, things relaxed a bunch.

Dinner was homemade pizza and that was an activity in and of itself. There were pizza faces, braided breadsticks, and lots of laugher. The official photos were fast and few because it was cold outside, and then there were more games played until it was time to go to the actual dance. As expected, the dance was loud and chaotic, but the reward for successfully navigating the main event was chocolate fondue.

I think Nathan had a good time. It was a low key, relaxing event that was lacking much of the drama that has been prevalent in his social circle of late. He told me that he ran into a couple of other madrigal men at the dance and they liked the whole planned blind group date thing that they are considering following suit for a later dance.

Going Bug-Eyed

For the next school dance, Nathan has opted to avoid a myriad of social drama. Originally, he planned just to skip the dance, but a change in plans came along in the form of a cousins’-organized blind date. He and Ella, who both go the same school, and Jacob, who goes to a different school, are planning on going to Sweethearts at Nathan and Ella’s school. Jacob arranged with two friends to come as dates for Nathan and Ella and those two provided a date for Jacob. Even though the plans were already in place and agreed upon by all parties, all the kids wanted to do the official asking to the dance in the traditional, fun way. Nathan went with an eyeball themed ask, using as many puns using the words “I” and “eye” as he could come up with. So of course there needed to be a plethora of googly eyes. Not only were there tons (my sister Rachael was still finding eyeballs on her driveway days later) but he found some crazy big googly eyes at Hobby Lobby and just couldn’t resist. I can’t say that I blame him. The things are freaking hilarious. AND they glow in the dark. Best googly eyes ever!

His date joined the fun and answered as she was asked…using a bunch of eyeballs. It sounds like these kids are going to have a good time!

Second Sadie’s of the Season

One of the perks of going to a new school this year is that Nathan has friends, and lady acquaintances, in two high schools. That means double the school dances. Nathan’s second Sadie’s for this month was on Saturday and while it was at his previous school (which we are all glad he is no longer attending), it actually ended up being much more fun due to an extreme lack of drama. And besides, what’s not fun about getting to dress up as Sully from Monster’s Inc.? 😊

Just Keep Breathing

As most adults well know, high school is the epitome of social drama. Nathan, who is viewed as a highly dateable boy (he’s tall, cute, talented and nice-seriously swoon inducing for the normal sixteen-year-old girl), is learning this, much to his dismay. Yesterday was Sadie’s at his high school and there was a good deal of drama involved in the occurrence of events. He came home shaking his head and wondering why high school has to be so completely soap opera worthy. Seriously, he is just completely flummoxed about the whole thing. He is very reasonable, well grounded and in many ways very mature for sixteen, so he just doesn’t get it. And all I can tell him is that teenage girls just think that way. Everything is either the best thing that has ever happened in their whole existence or is the end of the world as we know it. He’s just not lucky enough to be as oblivious as most teenage boys.

The day date portion of the event was his favorite part. Their dance group divided in two for the day date, so most of the drama occurred after they met back up. Nathan’s small group ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and then sat and talked for a couple hours. They went to a mini corn maze designed for little kids and had a blast. And when recombining with the remainder of the group led to the first infusion of drama (and the missing of the official date photos), they went to Harmons for their photoshoot. And honestly, I think they turned out great. I mean, Dory, Nemo, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Patrick Star posing in front of the seafood department is just funny!

The whole group did come back together for dinner, but all those bright smiling faces were hiding some powerful social drama and Nathan was glad when it was all over. For better or for worse, he has another Sadie’s event coming up this Saturday. He has been invited to the same dance at his old high school and he is already concerned about all the drama that event may hold.

Staking Her Claim

All of last school year, Nathan was repeatedly queried about whether he was going to this or that school dance. The fact that he was not going because he was not sixteen yet was his response, his safety net. I’ve warned him in the past that once he turned sixteen, he was no longer going to have an easy out. In response to similar questions regarding last Saturday’s homecoming dance, he asked Sariah, one of his best friends. That was a safe and socially acceptable choice, but in the minds of all the teenage girls, his going to the dance was an indicator that he is now on the market.

Yesterday afternoon, Nathan told me that the Madrigal women were already talking about who they were going to ask to Sadie Hawkins, the next school dance and a traditional girls’ choice event. He was flabbergasted about how early they were making plans, but I explained to him that girls just think that way. They plan much farther in advance than boys and they have to talk about all of it so that everyone knows who is claiming which boy in order to avoid huge amounts of teenage girl trauma and drama if someone’s preferred date is asked by someone else. He didn’t really get it, but he’s a teenage boy, and the minds of teenage (and honestly, any age) boys and girls just work differently.

At just after 7:00 a.m. this morning, Nathan sent me the following text:

Yup. Yesterday was the female powwow about who gets to ask whom and today the plan went into action. Nathan is even more flabbergasted and I’m just laughing over my Cheerios. The dance is in six weeks and the girl in question is, in fact, one of those Madrigal women that was making plans and staking claims yesterday.

I fully expect Nathan to get asked to pretty much every girls’ choice dance of his high school career. He is a talented, smart, kind young man, one who also happens to be tall and pretty easy to look at. I’m his mom so I know I’m biased, but he is kind of a cutie. Try as he might, he’s never going to understand how those girls think, but at least I can steer him down a safe path in order to avoid as much “wrath of teenage girl” as possible.