New

This year did not start off with a proverbial bang, but with the gentle hush that accompanied the biggest snowfall we’ve seen in years. I love the quiet that comes with the snow. It muffles the hubbub that is a part of our busy world and makes everything seem a bit more peaceful. Add to that the clean white of newly fallen snow, and it was like the year was starting fresh. As Anne Shirley, heroine of some of my most favorite books ever, would say, “Tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it.” That’s what starting a new year with a delightful coating of snow felt like. 

The snow fell all day and the snowplows hadn’t made it to the residential areas, so our 1:30 church meetings were cancelled. We didn’t really concur with that decision because it wasn’t that much snow, but then we got two of our cars stuck in the snow right in front of our driveway. That got us a little bit more onboard with our leaders’ decision. 😂 The bishop encouraged all of us to help our neighbors with snow removal, so instead of our normal meetings, everyone in our part of the neighborhood was out and about with snowblowers, shovels, and ATV’s with snowplows clearing the snow. 

I cleaned out the coat closet yesterday and discovered that we still had one of the magnifiers I purchased years and years ago as part of a snowflake watching kit. I thought the boys had lost all of them, so it was a pleasant surprise, one that meant Malia could do some up close viewing of the flakes that were falling. And because there were no official church meetings, Malia got to wear her Converse for the second Sunday in a row.

Although our church meetings were cancelled, the wards with earlier start times still met and the stake presidency was still doing meetings and interviews. Nathan had received an invitation to meet with a member of the stake presidency this afternoon (one of the cars that got stuck in the snow was Nathan coming home). He will move back to Logan on Saturday, so he had no idea what the meeting was about. These kinds of meetings are usually when callings are extended, so he was prepared to tell them that he wouldn’t be able to accept whatever they had in mind for him. When he came home though, he was super excited. The meeting was indeed about a calling, but it is not a stake calling. Nathan has been called to serve on the newly created ASL Institute Council. The council, and the calling, covers the North America region. So definitely not a local calling, but one he can fulfill from wherever he happens to be living.

When Nathan told us his news, both Kevin and I had a strong impression that this is the next part of his missionary service. He had to come home from Texas so he would be in the right place at the right time to meet the right people. The place was the ASL institute class he has been taking. The time was the last time this particular class was held. The person was Rick Jensen, the coordinator and advisor for the ASL seminaries and institutes in the North America region. Bro. Jensen, who is deaf, showed up in the institute class on the last day they met before Christmas and was talking to the young adults in attendance, of which Nathan was one. In November the church created the ASL Board of Education to help support deaf youth and young adults and Bro. Jensen is a member of the committee. The deaf sister who was teaching that class is now the head of the ASL Institute Council.

Nathan has been waiting on the Lord. When he came home from Texas, he knew that was the right choice. When he decided not to apply for a service mission, he knew that was also the right choice. When he applied for and accepted a job, he knew it was the right one. And when he decided to go back to school starting this month, again he received confirmation that he was on the right path. But through all this, he had no idea what the Lord had in mind for him in terms of missionary service or ASL. But the Lord has been orchestrating Nathan’s life, as he does with all of us if we let him, and He has put Nathan right where he needs him to be. Nathan has no idea what this calling entails. It is a brand new council after all. But he is so excited about this opportunity to serve. 

On the flip side, we are starting the new year with yet another run in with Covid. Kevin’s parents have Covid and unfortunately, Kevin was exposed. He is starting the year all masked up and counting the days to when the necessary Covid tests should be done. I know this is just our new world, one where Covid has joined flu and RSV to make a mighty triumvirate of common diseases that tear a swath through society every fall and winter, but the scare campaigns of 2020 have worked far too well in my mind and I’m still dealing with the fallout of those tense days. I’m working to get my anxiety under control though. I guess that’s one of my goals for this new year: let go of the unnecessary and unwarranted fear and anxiety that seems to crop up far too often. That is certainly easier said than done, but I’m working on it. And I know the Lord will help me in my efforts.

So new year. New snow. New calling. New goal. That makes for a pretty eventful day. 

Stay True in 2022

The end of one year and the start of another is often a time for reflection and the establishing of news goals or resolutions for the new year. As I’ve pondered on this over the past several days, I don’t feel inclined to make any grand new commitments for the new year. Having said that, my lack of desire to set new goals is not because I don’t want to improve. It’s because as the Lord has guided and directed me over the past year, I have already set small goals that will help me become more Christlike and am working toward them day by day, one step at a time. My personal equation for joy (Simplify + Prioritize + Balance = Joy) has been a fantastic guiding principle this year and I intend to continue to let my own personal recipe for happiness continue to guide me in my goals and decisions. So instead of making new goals for this new year, my resolution is to stay the course, keep moving forward with faith, and continue to look to the Lord to help me find the answers to “What lack I yet?” He has never left me bereft when I’ve asked for guidance on my journey to become a true follower of Christ and I know he will continue to help me stay on the path that will lead me to the longed-for blessings of exaltation and eternal life.

Moving Forward with Faith

If nothing else, 2020 was a reminder that we are strengthened in adversity. That whole concept of the refiner’s fire came into sharp focus last year. As I was studying D&C 1:12 this week, the Spirit helped me make another connection. The Lord is constantly preparing us for the second coming, and adversity is part of that preparation. (D&C 136:31) This life is a test. If things were always easy, we would not need to work, to learn, to grow. And we need to work, learn and grow in order to become the people the Lord wants us to be. If we want to be worthy of the glory the Lord has in store for us, we need to rise up to the challenges he gives us.

This connection gives me a greater appreciation and understanding of how the challenges this past year has brought are truly a sign of the times. The Lord is stepping up our preparation so we will be ready. Are we rising up to meet the challenge or are we hiding away and waiting for easier times to return? There may not be easier times until all things are fulfilled. And if we don’t meet the challenges with faith, will we be worthy of the glory of living with our Savior in Zion?

These thoughts make me want to work harder, to endure more cheerfully, and to strive daily to become a little bit more like the Savior. And I believe the Lord has given me the personal insights I need to be able to do so. Last year my focus was on simplifying. That went pretty well for me until about mid-March. And then the world changed. One of my stress responses is to plan, to make lists, to create stuff, to distract myself with artificial busyness. And I’m a pro at it. I’m so good, in fact, that by October, I was reaching burnout. Something had to change.

As I have turned to the Lord for direction over the past few months, he has led me on a journey, one of self-discovery and understanding, one whose ultimate destination is finding joy in all circumstances. Last year I was working to simplify. This year the Lord has given me the rest of the equation:

Simplify + Prioritize + Balance = Joy

Simplify: Don’t Needlessly Complicate Things. I’m a pro at making things harder than they really need to be. I often take what should be a simple, straightforward task and work to make it ever more complex until the whole project becomes a monstrosity of epic proportions. It’s like teaching a relief society lesson. Sometimes we think that if we don’t have stellar visuals, a video presentation, a special musical number and a beautiful handout we haven’t prepared a great lesson. But that’s not true. The sisters won’t remember which pictures are displayed or what song they heard. And the handout that took hours to create will most likely hit the garbage can the next time they clean out their purses. But what they will remember is the Spirit they felt and what it taught them. So simplifying is to help me toss all the extraneous frills and focus on what really matters.

Prioritize: Good, Better, Best. In general conference in October 2007, Dallin H. Oakes gave a talk entitled “Good, Better, Best.” It is one of those talks that really struck a chord with me. It helped me look at my life and how I was spending my time in a different way. Since then, it has become one of my spiritual yardsticks in terms of deciding how to spend my time. There are times when there are just not enough hours in the day to complete all the items on my to-do list and looking at my list through the “good, better, best” lens helps me decide where to focus my effort. Some days I end up feeling sorry for myself due to a lack of time to spend on hobbies or whatever and reminding myself that I’m making a better or best choice helps me set aside my selfish tendencies and focus on what is most important. Don’t get me wrong. Hobbies and taking time for myself are a vital part of my own mental health. I just need to balance that with the other important things in my life. And that actually brings us to the next part of the equation.

Balance: Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Social. The new children and youth program is designed to help the younger generation become more like the Savior in all areas of their life. But the benefits of doing so extend far beyond the age of eighteen. I need to have balance in my life as well. If all I do is clean the house, I get cranky because I miss out on playing board games with my family. But if all I do is play games or read a book, I get cranky because my house is a mess. And if I don’t take time to exercise, I’m cranky because my body is achy. It’s all about giving time to all the various aspects of my life without focusing on one to the neglect of the others.

Joy: The end goal of my little equation is joy. Not simply pleasure or fun, but the real joy that comes from living the gospel. Because that is the point, isn’t it? “Men are that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25) The Lord wants us to be happy. And we can be happy regardless of our circumstances. I’m not naïve enough to think that life won’t have its sorrows, but even when we feel sorrow we can be filled with the hope and joy that comes from truly knowing that this life is not an exercise in futility. There is a point. There is a goal. And that goal is a glorious eternal life with our heavenly parents, our divine older brother, and our loved ones.

This year I’m going to focus on this simple equation that is designed to bring me joy. And I’m going to actively try to see the positive and joyful things amidst the turmoil of the last days. Not everything that leads to joy is huge and life altering either. I often find myself saying that those little things are dumb because they are small and seemingly insignificant. Kevin has actually started calling me on it because if something brings me joy, it is worthy of having a place in my life. So I’m going to keep buying flowers every week because having a beautiful bouquet on the table makes me happy. And I’m going to keep reading books that makes me laugh and cry in all the right places. Even little things can be a ray of light in my day-to-day life.

All these things, big and small, are part of living with greater faith and allowing the Lord to work in my life. And I believe that if I can learn to live my life with greater faith and trust in the Lord, I will find more true joy. And more joy will help me have greater hope for good things to come. And all these things will strengthen me so I am better able to face adversity in the future for it will surely come.

Simplify

The end of the year generally makes me reflect on the past year and this one is no different. This year has brought a lot of change for my family and I find myself assessing how that change has affected each of us.

First of all, let’s talk about “Come Follow Me.” A year ago, I was hopeful that it would be a good thing for my family. As we finish up our first year, I can say without a doubt that it has been good for us. We’ve had to change our approach half a dozen times throughout the year, but that’s ok. Life is all about learning and growing and discovering what works for us and that is exactly what we have done. And I expect that we will continue to adjust our approach as the needs of our family change over time. My children are growing up and that necessitates changes in how we teach them. The fantastic thing is that they have taught me this year as well. Their own personal insights have added to the success of our study. Are we perfect? Not even close. Did we learn absolutely everything there was to learn? Of course not. But we did learn and as in all areas of life, we will continue to learn line upon line.

Nathan started at a new high school in September and it has most definitely been good for him. There is still all the teenage social drama that he hates, but he loves choir, looks forward to going there, trusts his teacher. He also loves ASL and has developed a good relationship with that teacher as well. In general, it is a much healthier and more positive environment for him, and I cannot express how grateful I am for that. For every person who contributes to his happiness and wellbeing, there will be blessings in heaven based on how often this mother has expressed thanks.

Matthew has successfully made the transition to middle school and he is thriving there. He is finding where he fits into the world and discovering what makes him happy. He is gaining confidence in himself and is learning how to keep track of all the different things he is balancing in his life. I’ve been praying that his special permit request will be approved, and he will be allowed to stay at the same school next year. He is doing so well that it would break my heart, and probably his, to have to change schools.

Malia is the one of us who has probably seen the least amount of change in her day to day routine. She is still at the same school, sees the same kids, has the same friends. I have, however, seen a lot of change in her as she begins to transition from little girl to big girl. In the past several months, she has really started taking her scripture reading to heart. During our family study, she asks questions and offers her opinions about what things mean. She has started reading on her own occasionally. She isn’t solid yet, but she’s still young and even for adults, finding a daily scripture study routine can be a challenge. I can see her faith growing and I’m so very proud. She is growing up in a world where she will need that faith to sustain her.

Daniel is the one who has seen the most change. I have watched him grow from a teen in high school to an independent young man who is willingly serving the Lord for two years. He has been in the mission field for twelve weeks now, and every time I read one of his emails, I am astounded by how much his testimony has grown. As a parent I’ve spent his whole life teaching him to be a self-sufficient, independent adult and I think he’s proved that he has, in fact, become just that. He still needs our support and counsel (and hopefully will always feel that he can turn to us), but he’s stepped out into the world in a big way and I could not be more pleased with his accomplishments.

Kevin has very recently accepted a new job that leads him away from the traditionally accepted career path of progression from technical computer guy to lower management to upper management. While it is somewhat of an unorthodox job switch in that way, it is (hopefully) going to give him an opportunity to do the kind of work that he really enjoys, and which will bring some greater job satisfaction his way. In some ways this was a hard decision for him to make and yet, I have high hopes that it will be good.

As for me, earlier this year I was contemplating the possibility of becoming a sister scriptorian. I wouldn’t exactly classify myself as such yet, but I can honestly say that I have learned a lot, my testimony has grown and most of the time, I am a follower of Christ rather than just a member of the church. My calling in the relief society presidency has stretched me. I have had to step outside my comfort zone, and I think it has been good for me. With more time commitments added to my schedule, I’ve had to learn to prioritize, put first things first, if you will. And while the number of projects I’ve been able to check off my to-do list has been shortened considerably this year, I believe I’ve been able to put my focus on the most important ones.

My calling has had an unexpected side effect as well. December is always busy and this year it was even more so for me because I was trying to get all my ministering interviews done before the end of the quarter. As a result, I had to let some things go. We didn’t get out every single Christmas decoration we own. We didn’t put every single ornament on the tree. And we didn’t put together forty or fifty little something or others for neighbor gifts. We live in a great neighborhood and I love my neighbors. There are so many families that have taught me and my children so many things. They have touched our lives in unquantifiable ways. But due to time constraints, neighbor gifts were one of the first things to drop by the wayside. And guess what? I actually loved it. Kev and I have talked about it and except for a few of the most near and dear whom I hold close to my heart, this is something we want to continue. Perhaps next year we’ll take what we would have spent on neighbor gifts and donate it to the Light the World vending machines instead. Christmas was also simpler. Meals were simplified with preparations made over several days in advance so when Christmas actually rolled around, all I had to do was turn on the oven. It was unbelievably easy. And again, I loved it. The simplifications to our traditional Christmas routine allowed me to slow down and enjoy the time with my family. It allowed me to put the focus on what was important. And it helped me focus on what really matters.

I’m not one of those people that picks a word to focus on each year, but it is something that I’ve done on occasion. I think next year will be one of those years and I think my word will be “simplify.” If I can simplify my life, let go of some of the unrealistically high expectations I hold for myself, stop overscheduling or adding unnecessary things that contribute to an overwhelming feeling of general business, I think I will be happier. It will allow me to focus on what really matters. I think it will help me become a better wife, a better mother, a better disciple of Christ. And these are the things that bring me joy. So simplifying will lead to a happier life. The scriptures say, “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass,” (Alma 37:6) and I believe this can be true in my own life. By simplifying, by letting the little things (like quality family time, consistent scripture study, taking time to be still and listen to the Spirit, etc.) become the big things, I believe great things can happen in my life and in the lives of my family. I’m not talking earth shattering things here, but the small changes that will lead us to happiness and bring us just a little bit closer to exaltation.

So that’s my focus for next year. Simplify. That doesn’t mean that I won’t still do a bunch of stuff, because doing crazy things like making Santa pancakes and Christmas tree waffles to share with my family makes me happy, but hopefully it means that I will be able to focus a bit more on what matters and more easily say no to the things that don’t. I’m probably going to need reminders. I’m probably going to overcomplicate things on occasion because I have a tendency to do that. But hopefully, I’ll be able to remember how easy it was to let go of the things that don’t really matter so I can focus on the things that do.

And hopefully, simplifying will bring joy to me and my family.

Looking Forward

Sometimes I feel nostalgic as we reach the end of yet another year. I think back on the events of the past year and feel a touch of sadness for the growing up my family has done and how those days will never come again. I remember with fondness our many happy moments and think about the challenges we have faced and how we've grown through them. I see how much my children have grown and think back on how far we have all come. I can be a bit introspective as I think about moments I handled well and those where I fell short.

This year, however, I find myself looking forward rather than back. There are bold new changes coming in the church. I'm super excited about those. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to implement those changes in my family and I hope that we will be able to take advantage of the new opportunities to strengthen our faith and our family. In the next year, Daniel will graduate from high school and head out into the real world. As a mother, I honestly have no idea how I'm going to respond to that. He is my first, after all. Both Nathan and Matthew will start at new schools in the next year and there is excitement and trepidation about both those situations. Malia will be the only one of my kidlets still on year round school so her off-track time will be mother-daughter time. There will be a lot of changes for our family in the next year and I'm sure that those changes will bring challenges as well as blessings. So I feel like I'm squaring my shoulders, taking a big breath, and facing the new year head on. Ready or not, here it comes.

Reflection

When I get to the end of each year, I often find myself reflecting on the year past, trying to decide if we had a good year or a bad one. As with most years, this one had some of each. We’ve had our struggles and there were tears shed and sleepless nights, but I think this year’s trials have left me feeling closer to the Lord and more sure of my faith. We’ve had our triumphs as well, and those have left me with a deep sense of gratitude for the great blessings I have been given. The Lord’s tender mercies are in the forefront of my mind as I recognize how we have been guided and directed and calmed and comforted. I think I’m a little bit closer to the person the Lord wants me to be and as a family, I think we are one step closer to our goal of eternal life. We still have miles to go, but our path has straightened just a bit (at least for now) and I’m counting the blessings that have been showered upon us this year.

The new year is still a great unknown, but with the Lord at the helm I know that no matter where it leads us, all will be well.

Year's End

As another year comes to a close, I find myself thinking about what the past year has brought to us.

Kevin has been at Adobe for over a year now. He has too much to do and not enough time, but he seems to be valued by many of the people he works with. He spent ten days in India in October meeting and working with the team of Indian employees he works with on a regular basis. He has discovered that like all jobs, there are pros and cons.

Daniel has grown a lot in the past year, both literally and figuratively. He is now taller than me and takes great pleasure in that fact. As an eighth grader he is firmly ensconced in middle school, is doing great, and still loves school. Knowing that high school credits begin accumulating in ninth grade, he is already making plans for the classes he wants to take so he will be able to participate in the programs that interest him.

Nathan is also looking ahead. Over the course of the past year he has grown from a little boy into a young man. He is excited to start seventh grade in the fall and with registration coming up in the next month or two, he has already decided what his electives will be.

Matthew is still as energetic as ever and although I still struggle to understand him, we are having fewer conflicts. As always, some days we get along better than others, but every bit of progress is good. He has grown at ease in his new school and is striving to gain independence in as many ways as possible. He is getting braver in many ways and little by little he is learning to deal with his fears and anxieties.

Malia has crossed the line from being a toddler to a preschooler. She loves school and is making friends of her very own. She makes me laugh regularly and I love her company. It seems that she is growing up far too quickly, but she'll still sit in my lap while I read stories and I intend to hold on to that for as long as I can.

As for me, the headaches are fewer in number and less intense. I continue to search for ways to make things even better and although I'm not where I would like to be, I'm grateful for the time I've regained and the days when I'm headache free. As my children get older, our days have become more hectic and I spend a good amount of brainpower making sure everyone is where they need to be when they need to be there.

Overall, I feel we've been very blessed in the past year. Like everyone we've had our struggles but relatively speaking, they have been very small.

Time Marches On

Another year has come and gone and once again I feel that time is passing too quickly. I get nostalgic when I realize just how fast my kids are growing. I wish I could slow things down so I can savor their childhoods for just a little bit longer. And yet I look forward to those things that are still to come. So forward facing, we march into next year…

Happy Noon Year!

For the past couple of years we have planned a Christmas party for the cousins on my side of the family.  This year some of the cousins didn’t get out of school until December 23 and others were headed out of town for Christmas so there really wasn’t time to have a Christmas party.  Instead we had a New Year’s Eve party.  But since all the kids we’re talking about are twelve and under, we had it during the day.  We had a couple of activities and games, party hats and horns.  At 12 o’clock p.m. we went out in the driveway and counted down to noon.  Sort of.  None of us had a timepiece with a second hand so we just picked a start time and went for it. When we got to zero-ish we let the kids scream and yell and blow horns and jump on bubble wrap.  Then we ate party food for lunch: pigs in a blanket, chips and dip, pink 7-Up in plastic champagne glasses, etc.  It was a fun change of party themes and it was much more relaxing scheduling in a party after Christmas.  Not only that, but now I can go to bed early and still feel like I celebrated!

Crafty Resolutions

We took the Christmas decorations down today and now the house is looking a little bare. Perhaps one of my tasks for this new year will be to make some things to fill the big empty spaces year-round and not just during the Christmas season.

How Can I Be Behind Already?

It seems that welcoming in the new year has done nothing to decrease my sneaking suspicion that I'm always running behind. This evening we finally got around to putting together the gingerbread Christmas tree. Maybe it is more of a New Year's tree . . .

Nevertheless, we had fun!