Motivations

When we spoke to Daniel last week, he told us that the other missionaries in his MTC district, nearly all of whom are from outside Utah, asked him what going to church is like around here. Daniel’s response was, “There are members of the church and there are followers of Christ.” To me, it seemed a very profound answer, an apt description of the way things are around here. With church members making up so much of the local population, I think it can be easy to go to church because that is what is expected of you by family, friends, neighbors, etc. rather than going because you really want to be there. As I’ve pondered on that over the past week, it has led me to an honest personal assessment of the category into which I fall. Although there are meetings that I’m definitely not overly thrilled to attend, in general, I go to church as a follower of Christ. I go because I want to be there. I go because I want to associate with and learn from the other members of my ward. I go because it reminds me that there are other people who understand the struggles I have and who support me in those struggles. I go because feeling the calm of church meetings after a crazy week gives me a renewed sense of peace as I head into another crazy week. And most of all, I go because I want to partake of the sacrament each week, renew my covenants and start each week brand new, and become just a little more Christlike in the process.

There have been times in my life when I’m not sure I was attending 100% as a follower of Christ, times when going seemed like a chore, not a privilege. I’m sure there are many people who have those times, but I can honestly say that for me, those times have been few and short lived. And as I’ve gotten older and gained a better understanding of what the gospel is all about, I find that I’m becoming more and more certain that I’m going to church for the right reasons. In fact, as I have incorporated the many new church adjustments into my life and the lives of my family members, I think I’m even more determined to be a true follower of Christ. The world is getting ever more wicked and as I watch the spiritual darkness coalesce around us, I want to surround my children with as much light as possible and arm them with sure testimony and growing conversion before I send them out into the world. And I can only do that if I’m surrounding myself with as much light as possible, arming myself with sure testimony and ever-growing conversion. Does that mean I’m perfect? A mom who never makes mistakes and has figured everything out? Not by a long shot. I have a long way to go, but the Lord has given me a tender mercy in that he’s allowed me to see who I was, how far I’ve come, and given me a glimpse of the person he wants me to become.

When I was in college at BYU, it used to make me angry to be lumped into the “Utah Mormon” category because it seemed like many members of the church from outside Utah felt like those of us raised here were only church members out of habit or expectation. I felt like they didn’t see that although growing up as a church member in Utah was easier in a variety of ways, it still had its challenges and being truly converted still required effort and conviction. For instance, when we're not faced with the need to overtly choose to live the gospel each day, not slipping into complacency can become a challenge. I’m so proud that Daniel has, in one short phrase, accurately conveyed that being a fully converted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is always a choice no matter where you live and that simply being surrounded by other saints doesn’t automatically mean that our testimonies are of a lesser sort than saints in other parts of the world. Yes, I concede the fact that being a church member here is much easier than in many parts of the world, but when it comes right down to it, the Savior is not going to favor one soul over another because of where they lived. Every one of us is given the same opportunity to claim all the blessings of eternity and has the same responsibility to use our agency wisely. No matter where we live, every one of us has to choose to step up to the task and live as a true follower of Christ.

A Wrench in the Works

You know that lazy Saturday that starts out all hunky dory with a bit of a sleep in, some leftover pancakes for breakfast and a short to-do list which promises to lead to a nice relaxing day and then you discover that your water heater is leaking in several places even though it is only 5 1/2 years old and all your plans change and your stress level creeps up and you start praying that the whole thing doesn't blow before you can get it replaced? That was today. At least it is a slow leak and not a gusher. The service guy who came called it "weeping." I just might start weeping as well. The price tag on a new water heater is never pretty.

Nearer and Farther Away

Daniel flew to Oregon today. When we talked to him yesterday, he said that since we live so close to the MTC, he didn’t actually feel like he had left home yet. He said it felt like he was at band camp because everything was still familiar. He said it was weird to think about the fact that he would have to get closer to home before he left it. Today he rode Frontrunner and Trax out to the airport, so he did indeed, ride closer to home before getting much further away. He arrived in Oregon, safe and sound, and now the real adventure begins.

A Couple of Unrelated Thoughts

Thought #1: In church on Sunday, we had a combined Relief Society/Elder’s Quorum lesson taught by the Temple/Family History committee. At the end, the bishop shared his testimony and said something I found very profound. He said, “The temple recommend interview is the Celestial Kingdom interview.” I have never heard it put that way before. The comment caught my attention and made me feel so hopeful. We are all enormously imperfect and often I feel like I’m so far away from being the person I need to be to gain salvation that I get discouraged. (Yup. It’s one of those three D’s we just heard about in General Conference. The adversary definitely knows how to get to us.) But the thought that because I’m worthy to enter the temple, I’m worthy of the Celestial Kingdom makes me feel like maybe I’m doing all right. We’re all lacking in the area of perfection, but because of the Savior’s atonement, we don’t actually have to be perfect to be worthy.

Thought #2: In the course of my scripture study this morning, I ended up reading “Grateful in Any Circumstances” by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It is a talk I have previously read on multiple occasions, but a different part stuck out to me today. Since Daniel entered the MTC, there is a thought that keeps playing through my mind: things will never be the same. There will never be another time when all my children are living at home full time. One stage of our lives has ended and although I’m so proud of Daniel and know not only that he is in the right place, but that I wouldn’t want it any other way, it is still a little bittersweet to think that my little brood is beginning to leave the nest. Elder Uchtdorf said:

“In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.”

I know that he was talking about the endings that come when loved ones pass away, but I found it to be applicable to other endings as well. I have reached the end of the time when all my children are young and living at home. In the next few years, more of my children will leave and I know myself well enough to know I will have mixed feelings as each one flies away. But these are only interruptions, ones that will have brief endings on holidays and vacations. More importantly, because of the gospel and the promises associated with the covenants we make in the temple, there will be even greater, more joyful future reunions, ones that will never end.

So yes, there are moments when I’m a little blue. But putting things in the proper perspective reminds me that these endings are temporary and that there are great blessings to come, times of glorious familial associations. And as a mom of a new missionary, one who is headed to his field of service tomorrow morning, he is spending these two years away from home so that other people can know about and look forward to these amazing future reunions as well.

Historic Times

Let’s talk a little bit about general conference. In the last couple of years, there have been a variety of procedural changes in the church. By now, we should all know that when Pres. Nelson uses the word “adjustment,” we should all brace ourselves for more changes. There were more changes this weekend, changes to the organization of the young men and young women programs. Nathan has been struggling with the way our priests’ quorum has been running of late, and the feeling I have is that these newest changes will be good. There may be some growing pains as everyone tries to put the changes in place, but I honestly think it will be good. The “Come Follow Me” program has been so good for my family. We’ve had to try a variety of different approaches to find what works for us, but overall, I feel like it has been beneficial for us. We’re talking about the gospel more frequently. We’re studying and learning together more frequently. We’re letting the gospel be a part of our day to day lives and conversations more frequently. And I think the new youth programs will do the same thing.

There have been a variety of changes for women as well. Last year, the general women’s meeting became a part of general conference weekend for the first time. Earlier this week, the church announced changes to who can be a witness for saving ordinances and women and girls will now be able to stand as witnesses. And last night, for the first time, new temples were announced during the women’s session. I was sitting in a stake center in Taylorsville when it was announced that a temple would be built in Taylorsville. Let me tell you, it was powerful to sit there amongst that group of women who were so filled with gratitude and joy that the room felt electric. I don’t even live in that city, but it was powerful for me as well. And I’m so enormously pleased for my folks and Kevin’s folks who do live in Taylorsville.

This was Malia’s very first women’s session and besides dinner and doughnuts with the cousins, aunties and both of her grandmothers, I hope she’ll remember the Spirit, the prophet telling us how important women are in the gospel, and the excitement and gratitude associated with temples. I know a lot of the doctrinal talk went over her head, but she was enormously excited to be able to attend the meeting (she wanted to sit on the very front row!) and I hope that her excitement and zeal for the gospel will continue. And as her mother, I hope that I can feed her spirit and her mind as she continues to learn and grow.

I came away from Saturday’s meetings with two general impressions. First, the youth are the future of the church. They will be the ones ushering in a millennial age and they need to be prepared. They need to be strengthened to meet the great challenges that stand before them. The Lord knows this and is helping us prepare them by providing us with programs in the church and in the home that will help them learn to receive personal revelation and lead to their continuing conversion.

My second impression concerns the women of the church. I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but I’ve never felt marginalized, belittled or lesser being a woman in the church. But I know there are women that do, and I think the Lord is trying to help all of us realize that we are not secondary to the men in the gospel. I think he’s trying to help the women of the church more fully understand their place and importance in the church, their role in the last days, how the power of the priesthood is available to us and applicable in our lives and to encourage us to rise up and become the great force for good that the Lord needs us to be. I’m currently serving in the relief society presidency and I think it has made me more aware of the needs of the sisters around me and I feel strongly that as women, we need to “do better and be better.” (quoting Pres. Nelson here) We have a great work to do and much to contribute to the progression of the gospel.

All this makes me feel like we are living in historic times, times that future saints will look back on as a changing point in the church, the age that helped prepare the church and the saints to usher in the prophesied days of the second coming. So what does this mean for me? For my family? We need to make our own personal adjustments, adjustments that will lead us to embrace these changes wholeheartedly. I know that if we do, we will be blessed.

Onomatopoeia

“Pop” is a word that is often used in terms of unfortunate things. Balloons pop. Bubbles pop. Tires pop. But it can also have positive associations. Bubble wrap, for instance. I mean, who hasn’t found popping a nice sheet of bubble wrap therapeutic at some point in their lives?  Popcorn is another perky popping sound. And those crazy air pillows that Amazon.com uses? Stomp on one of those if you are ever feeling a bit glum. They pop in an enormously gratifying way. There are various other entertaining versions of popping, but my very favorite kind of “pop” is the one associated with these little beauties.

Today’s contribution to the “pops” of the world is forty-four pints of homemade applesauce. Delicious!

No Laundry? No Problem!

One of the last things Daniel did before he left was clean out his dresser. He sorted clothes into two bags: one destined for the D.I. and one to go into storage. In order to make sure everything was nice and clean before storing it for two years, Kevin washed all the t-shirts in the “to keep” bag. We always thought Daniel just wore the same assortment of shirts all the time. After all, we saw the same ones every week. What we discovered told a different story. Daniel had 45 t-shirts in that bag, far more than we expected seeing as we saw the same small assortment every week. But he had duplicates of many of his band shirts, as many as four identical ones. So I guess he really was rotating through his shirts. And the big pile also explains why he was never overly stressed when he forgot to do his laundry. He had enough shirts to go for over six weeks between loads.😂

Game Changer

When it was announced earlier this year that missionaries would be allowed to call home once a week, I was openly pleased and secretly relieved. I knew this would be a game changer for us. Instead of sending Daniel off and having only written contact (except for the Christmas and Mother’s Day phone calls), we would be able to talk to him regularly. In talking to Daniel about it, he was openly relieved. Being isolated from his family for two years brought a large amount of anxiety and knowing that he would be able to talk to us more regularly was a comfort.

We got to talk to Daniel yesterday and it was, indeed, a game changer. I’m a worrier by nature so of course I’ve been all stressed out for the past week. My stress level eased considerably after a lengthy video chat with Daniel. Words can be deceptive, but as his mother, I can read his face pretty darn well. And he’s happy, full of light, feeling comfortable with his companion and his district and adjusting well to the MTC. He is learning tons. He gave us the “trying to catch the output of a firehose with a Dixie cup” analogy. He also said that every time he learns something amazing his first reaction is wanting to share it with us…but he can’t. I guess that having an 18-year-old who really wants to talk to his parents means we’ve done something right. He’s taking lots of notes, journaling his impressions and thoughts and learning as much as he can. Meeting elders from all over the U.S. and talking to them about what their lives are like has made him realize just how sheltered, and just how blessed, we are to live here. In the weeks leading up to his mission, he went to the temple frequently, sometimes three or four times a week. His companion lived an hour away from a temple, pretty close in relation to the world as a whole, but not close enough to be able to go on a whim. And while Daniel has four or five non-members in his contact list of about 65 people, his companion has four or five members in his similarly sized contact list. He already loves the people he is with which, in my opinion, is vital to becoming a successful missionary. Love is the driving force behind wanting to teach people about the gospel.

Daniel is doing well. I know that challenges and struggles are inevitable, and they will help him learn and grow, but for now, he’s at peace. And seeing that he is at peace, hearing him talk with enthusiasm and the Spirit, brings me peace as well.