Motivations

When we spoke to Daniel last week, he told us that the other missionaries in his MTC district, nearly all of whom are from outside Utah, asked him what going to church is like around here. Daniel’s response was, “There are members of the church and there are followers of Christ.” To me, it seemed a very profound answer, an apt description of the way things are around here. With church members making up so much of the local population, I think it can be easy to go to church because that is what is expected of you by family, friends, neighbors, etc. rather than going because you really want to be there. As I’ve pondered on that over the past week, it has led me to an honest personal assessment of the category into which I fall. Although there are meetings that I’m definitely not overly thrilled to attend, in general, I go to church as a follower of Christ. I go because I want to be there. I go because I want to associate with and learn from the other members of my ward. I go because it reminds me that there are other people who understand the struggles I have and who support me in those struggles. I go because feeling the calm of church meetings after a crazy week gives me a renewed sense of peace as I head into another crazy week. And most of all, I go because I want to partake of the sacrament each week, renew my covenants and start each week brand new, and become just a little more Christlike in the process.

There have been times in my life when I’m not sure I was attending 100% as a follower of Christ, times when going seemed like a chore, not a privilege. I’m sure there are many people who have those times, but I can honestly say that for me, those times have been few and short lived. And as I’ve gotten older and gained a better understanding of what the gospel is all about, I find that I’m becoming more and more certain that I’m going to church for the right reasons. In fact, as I have incorporated the many new church adjustments into my life and the lives of my family members, I think I’m even more determined to be a true follower of Christ. The world is getting ever more wicked and as I watch the spiritual darkness coalesce around us, I want to surround my children with as much light as possible and arm them with sure testimony and growing conversion before I send them out into the world. And I can only do that if I’m surrounding myself with as much light as possible, arming myself with sure testimony and ever-growing conversion. Does that mean I’m perfect? A mom who never makes mistakes and has figured everything out? Not by a long shot. I have a long way to go, but the Lord has given me a tender mercy in that he’s allowed me to see who I was, how far I’ve come, and given me a glimpse of the person he wants me to become.

When I was in college at BYU, it used to make me angry to be lumped into the “Utah Mormon” category because it seemed like many members of the church from outside Utah felt like those of us raised here were only church members out of habit or expectation. I felt like they didn’t see that although growing up as a church member in Utah was easier in a variety of ways, it still had its challenges and being truly converted still required effort and conviction. For instance, when we're not faced with the need to overtly choose to live the gospel each day, not slipping into complacency can become a challenge. I’m so proud that Daniel has, in one short phrase, accurately conveyed that being a fully converted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is always a choice no matter where you live and that simply being surrounded by other saints doesn’t automatically mean that our testimonies are of a lesser sort than saints in other parts of the world. Yes, I concede the fact that being a church member here is much easier than in many parts of the world, but when it comes right down to it, the Savior is not going to favor one soul over another because of where they lived. Every one of us is given the same opportunity to claim all the blessings of eternity and has the same responsibility to use our agency wisely. No matter where we live, every one of us has to choose to step up to the task and live as a true follower of Christ.