Tender Mercies

As I mentioned on Monday, the past week has been an emotionally difficult one for us. But in the midst of everything, we’ve been the recipients of a multitude of tender mercies from the Lord. On Sunday I was given a very clear reminder that in spite of the fact that Matthew has had a number of allergic reactions over the years, we’ve never needed to use his Epipens. He has always thrown up almost immediately which clears the allergen from his body. I’m not good with vomit (that’s always been Kev’s job), but it is truly a blessing in comparison to anaphylaxis.

Yesterday evening the youth gathered for their weekly activity. They made a scrapbook of memories about Tanner to give to his family and then each one was able to write a message to Tanner on a balloon which they then released. Nathan really wanted to be there, but he is on the stage crew at the middle school this year and was scheduled to be at an event until 8:00 last night. However, the event started on time and everything went so smoothly that he was home by 7:20 and was able to make it to most of the activity. He still has some coping to do, but I think it was good for him, gave him a chance to share some memories and say goodbye. Another small but much appreciated blessings.

Daniel is the one of our kids that we’ve had the most trouble with in terms of our strict food rules. We’ve had numerous come to Jesus talks about not leaving peanut butter cup wrappers in the bathroom, not eating in his room, washing hands after handling or eating not Matthew friendly foods, cleaning surfaces of any residual allergens when he opts not to wash, etc. There have been uncountable eye rolls and huge sighs like I’m making him rip off his own arm and eat it. There has been grumping and complaining and a lack of cooperation from time to time. All our kids know that Matthew could die if he ate the wrong thing, but mortality is a nebulous idea to many kids and teens who feel like they will love forever. I think Tanner’s passing has made Daniel realize that we’re not exaggerating the seriousness of the situation. His rebellious attitude about the subject has dissipated. I’m sorry it had to be such a severe event to help him understand, but that understanding and cooperation is also a blessing for our family.

In the past week, I’ve also been reminded of how many good people are out there. Sometimes I think we get caught in our own little Mormon bubble and forget that we don’t have a monopoly on good people making good choices and loving their fellow men. This week has been a reminder to me that there is an abundance of good people out of the church as well as in. A friend of Tanner’s family set up a Go Fund Me account to help pay their medical and funeral expenses. It was posted on facebook and in 3 days, they raised $30,000. As I scrolled through the names of those who donated, I realized that there were a multitude of people donating who do not live in this area and are not related to Tanner. The vast majority of the donations were between $20 and $50. I saw several that were around $100, but the enormous amount of money was raised by an enormous amount of people each giving just a little. What a fabulous reminder to me that there are good people everywhere, all doing their own little part to make the world a better place.

Let me pass on a little advice. Take a minute. Count your blessings. Hug your kids extra hard. Tell them you love them. Make sure to express your gratitude to the Lord. And always remember “that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6) I’m enormously grateful for these small blessings, these tender mercies that the Lord has given us as we work through this struggle.