Pop, Pepper, and Potter

As the youngest of my siblings, my sister Esther knows exactly what it is like to have all your siblings grow up, move out, and abandon you to a quiet life living with just your aged and senile parents. (At least, elderly is how most young teens view their middle-aged parents. WACKY SMILEY) As such, she knew Malia would have a tough time when Matthew left on his mission and she wanted to do something special for Malia. She decided to take Malia, and Kate since every expedition taken with your favorite cousin is even better, to the Harry Potter Exhibition which has been open in our area for the past several months. Malia and Kate have been wanting to schedule a sleepover and as all the dates seemed to line up, a multi-day plan was born.

After our stained-glass extravaganza on Saturday, Malia went home with Rachael, went to church with them on Sunday, slept over again on Sunday night and spent several days watching movies and drinking Dr. Pepper with Kate. This afternoon Esther picked both of them up from Rachael’s house and took them to the Harry Potter exhibit, after which both girls were shuttled to their own homes and crashed for a good night’s sleep. Malia said that the half of the exhibit that was focused on Harry Potter (and not the Magical Beasts portion of the franchise or the Cursed Child, which she hasn’t read) was fun.

I’m so grateful for my sisters and their willingness to spend time with Malia. And I’m so grateful that Malia has a cousin who is one of her best friends and who will happily watch “K-Pop Demon Hunters” with her seven times in the space of two days. 😂

Kev Might Need to Hide His Soldering Iron…

Malia is, by her own admission, a “screen-ager,” meaning that she has a tendency to focus on the tiny little handheld screen that seems to have become everyone’s non-optional high-tech appendage. We have parental controls in place and all that, which she only rails against on occasion, so for the most part, her screen time is spent mainly communicating with her social circle via text, phone call, Facetime, etc. But she does like to spend some time on other apps, like YouTube, the keeper of all music videos, crafting tutorials, etc. And every once in a while, she discovers something interesting. 

Earlier this month, she discovered a nearby stained-glass studio that offers a beginners make and take class for those who want to dip a toe into making stained glass. She was instantly intrigued and asked (repeatedly) about the possibility of signing up for one of the classes. I thought it sounded super fun as well so after some consultation with all the interested parties, Rachael, Kate, Malia, and I found a date that worked for all of us, and we signed up to learn a new skill.

This evening was our class, and it was so fun! It was definitely designed for beginners as all the glass was cut and prepped prior to our arrival. We simply chose our preferred design and colors and then our teacher walked us through the process of applying the copper tape and soldering our design together. While there are definitely some tips and tricks that lead to a nicer finished product, the assembly process was simpler than I expected and very satisfying! I think we were all pleased with how our pieces turned out, and as for me, I find myself considering the idea of delving a bit deeper into making stained glass.

I suspect the cutting and prepping of the glass is a much more difficult skill to acquire, and the whole thing could possibly be quite pricey, so I’m still just pondering. Plus, it’s not like I have time right now anyway. Daniel’s wedding is in less than three weeks, I’m deeply involved in figuring out how to feed Matthew once he gets to Arkansas, I’m half of a co-parenting team that is working to motivate Malia to do enough to pass her summer class, and trying at the same time to give my body a break so I don’t lose three full days in a row to migraine like I did last week. All those things mean that my interest in starting a new hobby is going to remain hypothetical right now, but it might be something I come back to later on. We’ll see. In the meantime, it makes me ridiculously happy to stare at my little glass creation as the sun streams through the window!

Wrapping with Abandon

I kind of love that my (nearly) daughter-in-law feels comfortable enough with us to demand her share of the bubble wrap. 😂

Practice Run

Today Malia spent the afternoon with Aliese, the youngest of Cory’s girls, who is highly skilled at creating fancy hairdos and offered to do Malia’s hair and nails for Daniel’s wedding. They arranged to spend some time together so that they could practice a bit and find an appropriate hairdo. The result of their experimentation was fantastic. And so much more Malia-ish than a full updo!

When she got home looking exhausted and sporting a different hairdo and a bit of tastefully applied eye shadow, I asked her how it went. Her response? “That’s a lot of girl power!” Yes, a full afternoon focused on hair, make up, and nails is an entirely different experience for her. Being the only girl in our little brood and by her own definition “not a girly girl,” this afternoon was definitely a different experience for her!

Even the Best Laid Plans…

For those of you who have read Matthew’s email from today, you will know that his dinner last night consisted of carrots. And carrots. Of course, there is a bit more to that story. And it led to a bit of drama for our family today.

At about 11:30 this morning, as I was putting away groceries, I simultaneously received a concerned text from Daniel and a worried phone call from Nathan. With both of them reaching out at the exact same time, I suspected something was not right. And that was an appropriate assumption. Matthew had sent them a somewhat panicky message about having only carrots as his meal accompanied by a note that he could eat other items off the main line. That, of course, is not a safe way for Matthew to eat and so messages were sent to me. And unfortunately, Facebook Messenger is not the most reliable messaging platform ever, which means that I didn’t get any of them. My lack of response led to Matthew reaching out to his brothers who then immediately notified me. Once I sent a message to Matthew I started getting messages from him, so that helped simplify communications just a bit. And then I got on the phone to try to get someone from the MTC to help work the problem. 

It took me several months earlier this year to get a response from the guy who is the head of specialty meals at the MTC. And once I actually talked to him, he told me to email him again 2-3 weeks before Matthew entered the MTC. I did so and never got a response. Which was not all that assuring. As part of his preparations to enter the MTC, Matthew was given contact info for the MTC dietician and emailed her several weeks ago as well. She responded with some additional questions and after receiving answers to those questions let Matthew know they would have specialty meals for me. So, despite the lack of a response to me from one employee, confirmation from another told us that things were covered. But as evidenced by yesterday’s veggie only plate, there was a breakdown in communication somewhere along the line.

I started by trying to call the person I had spoken to back in April and there was no answer and not even an option to leave a message. So, I called the main MTC information desk and explained our predicament and asked for some help finding someone to talk to right away. The sister I spoke to tried to contact all the people who would normally be contacted, even reaching out to them via their cell phone numbers. But today is Pioneer Day, a Utah state holiday, and many people had the day off. When my helper couldn’t get in contact with anyone, she contacted her manager to see what to do next. She was told to reach out to the head of health and wellness for the entire MTC and see what he could do. I was told that he is generally very good about returning calls and that if the folks at the help desk didn’t hear from him within about half an hour, they would call me back.

While I was waiting, I reached out to a ward member who is well known to all my kids. She sent Kevin and I a message yesterday expressing thoughts that Matthew’s MTC arrival had gone smoothly. And as an afterthought, she mentioned that she had just barely found out that a good friend of hers worked in the specialty meals department at the MTC and that Matthew would be in good hands. Armed with that info, I reached out to her and asked for some help while I waited for a return call from the MTC. Within about thirty seconds she had responded with a resounding “Yes!” And only a few minutes later I received a phone call from her friend. I explained the situation and she got to work trying to find out who was working today. She told me to have Matthew head to the specialty meals room and wait for someone to come talk to him and to express clearly his food needs. I conveyed that info and as it was P-day and his schedule allowed him to go right away, Matthew headed to the cafeteria. 

Within the hour, I received a phone call from the brother who is the head of health and wellness for the MTC. After learning about the situation, he told me that he would work it out, offering to personally head down to the MTC if needed. He called again after a bit to tell me that he had talked to the MTC dietician, who was at work today, and that she and Matthew had spoken and had arranged a plan. He assured me that Matthew had eaten chicken, rice, and carrots for lunch, and that if I had any other concerns I could reach out to him. He expressed the hope that Matthew and the dietician would be able to continue to communicate well. He was very kind and perfectly willing to help us get Matthew fed and I’m very grateful. 

As for Matthew, I’m hoping that this will be a learning experience for him. Yes, there was some miscommunication that happened. And yes, it left him in a very tricky situation foodwise. But he doesn’t like to draw attention to his allergies and will often choose simply not to eat rather than make any fuss about his needs. But now that he is out in the world on his own, he can’t just wait until he gets home and then eat. At least, not for the next two and a half weeks. He had been in the MTC less than 24 hours at the time all of this became known to us, and he had no idea who to talk to or what the procedure would be if there were issues with his meals, so having me available to help work out the issue was good. But in future, he won’t always be able to contact us at the exact time. Now, in his defense, he did try to get some details on procedures and such before he went to the MTC, as did I. But he didn’t get those questions answered. And despite that, he walked into the MTC with a lot of faith yesterday afternoon.

Before Matthew ever left, we all knew that foodwise, the MTC and his first 48 hours in Arkansas would be the trickiest. So hopefully things will go more smoothly from here on out. I do plan to have a package of food waiting for him at the mission office in Arkansas when he arrives there in several weeks to try to help cover that gap between leaving the MTC, being able to get to a grocery store, and finding local brands of foods that are safe for him. Because honestly, finding the right foods can sometimes feel like a full-time job. Even simple and common foods like pasta and tuna are very difficult to find in Matthew friendly versions. But like I said before, I’ve taught him everything he needs to know. I’ve given him some tools to help ease the search for food as living within missionary rules can make taking the time necessary for him to shop somewhat tricky, and he knows that it is going to take a lot of effort to make things run smoothly. But he’s determined to make it work. He has a great desire to be serving as a missionary and I know that as he gives it his very best effort and continues to keep moving forward with faith, he will be blessed.

As for us, all our collective blood pressures have returned to normal as a crisis has been averted. And according to Tawni, it is a good day because the brother didn’t die, and she got a job! Huzzah!

Set…

Matthew has been of two minds the past week and a half. One mind says, “Zoom stinks! Three-hour virtual classes are soooo long! I do much better in person! Get me out of this basement!!” Mind one is clearly hearkening back to the emotional trainwreck that was the Covid shutdown. On the other hand, mind two has been saying, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuugh!!!!!!!” This morning held a pretty good amount of both minds. While he was anxious to actually get to the MTC, meet his district, and feel like he is moving forward, there was a good amount of stress happening as well. The closer we got to our departure time, the quieter and more serious he got. 

We started our morning with dessert for breakfast in the form of cinnamon swirl pancakes. An hour or so of And It Came to Pass, Matthew’s favorite card game, followed as a form of necessary distraction and some last-minute quality family time. And then it was time for the final packing and preparation to make the drive to Provo. A much-needed father’s blessing was given and then we headed south. This trip was a bit different from the ones we made with Daniel and Nathan because for those ones, it was just Kevin and me. But with Malia out of school for the summer, there was no way we were going to leave her home alone. That would have been just too hard. So, she got to experience the missionary factory for the first time. And there were a few tears shed as we drove away, both mine and Malia’s. She’s having a bit of a hard day.

As for me, I’m doing ok. It is always an emotional thing to let a child leave home for the first time. And I’m a crybaby so that means the emotions are always accompanied by a few tears. But as a mother, I’ve earned the right to feel joy and sadness at the same time as my children leave my little nest and embark on their adult lives. And I’ll admit that it’s a little harder with Matthew because of the food allergy worries. But I’ve spent the past eighteen years teaching him everything he needs to know about feeding himself safely, so now it’s time for me to trust that he has taken the lessons to heart. And I know he has.

As Matthew and I spoke last night, one of the things I told him is that while it isn’t easy to let go of the friends and relationships he has cultivated here at home, it will be easier to look forward instead of back once he is in a new location. It won’t magically make letting go simple, but it will allow him to focus more fully on what is to come. I really felt like once he got to the MTC he would feel like he has actually started his mission rather than feeling like he is still biding his time. And as we got out of the car and unloaded his luggage, that is what I saw in his face. He was ready to get moving. He was calm and full of light. And after just a few moments of hugs and final farewells, he was off. He’s one step closer to starting the work. Go forward in faith, Elder Estes. I suspect that faith will be much needed as he stares at his first MTC meal this evening.

Let me end with one somewhat related entertaining tidbit. After we dropped Matthew off, Kevin, Malia and I stopped for lunch at Raising Cane’s, one of Malia’s favorite fast food joints. As we filled our drink cups, one of the employees, a middle-aged woman who looked just a little bit frazzled, commented that we had just missed missionary Wednesday. I commented that we had just experienced missionary Wednesday ourselves and thought nothing of the it. But it seems that it was very confusing to her because a few minutes later, Kevin overheard a comment she made, wondering why in the world we wouldn’t bring our missionary with us, especially as it was their last meal and everything. It was highly entertaining because 1) eating the food at Raising Cane’s would actually kill our missionary and 2) when he is super stressed like he is today, he can’t eat. It makes him feel sick if he does. I was genuinely surprised that he managed to eat three pancakes at breakfast. So yes, while most families will eat with their missionary prior to dropping them off at the MTC, our order of operations was opposite. And it was a good reminder that when people do things that don’t make sense to us, there is usually a good reason why. We just don’t know what it is!

Full Circle

Although Nathan has not had a lot of ASL interpreting jobs lately due to a change in laws concerning what level of certification is required to be hired, he has been working with the Utah Festival Opera this summer to provide interpreting for several shows. A few months ago, he interpreted for a children’s production based on the extremely popular Elephant and Piggie books by Mo Willams. He had a ball doing that one and absolutely loved seeing little faces light up when Deaf children were able to experience live theater for the first time.

Over the past several months, he has been preparing to interpret for a production of the high school version of Les Misérables. He works with a team of interpreters, and they have been practicing and planning for quite a while. One member of the team is an official interpreter employed by the Disney company and Nathan thought it was pretty neat to be able to work with an obviously highly skilled and experienced interpreter. He took advantage of the opportunity to ask questions and get some insights into being a professional interpreter.

One of the things that Les Mis has that Elephant and Piggie does not is a good smattering of cuss words and quite a bit of inuendo. Interpreting is all about conveying the ideas and words given and editing or changing words is not the name of the game, so Nathan has actually had some conundrums about how to interpret some of those things that are not taught in the classroom. But he knew he needed to be able to appropriately interpret whatever a client might throw his way. To that end, he recently went to a weekend workshop about swearing in ASL and let me tell you, he learned some extremely colorful new signs. I think he told me the included vocab list was seventeen pages, and included multiple words and phrases he had never been exposed to before, either in sign or spoken English. LAUGHING WITH TEARS SMILEY And even those this production was the slightly tamed high school version, he still had plenty of opportunities to use his newly gained knowledge!

One of the things Nathan loves about this type of performance interpreting is seeing the reactions of those for whom he is interpreting. One of his highlights for this show was seeing one Deaf audience member moved to tears by the action onstage and the accompanying interpreting gave them everything they needed to be emotionally engaged in the story. Another of his highlights was meeting Millicent Simmonds, a Deaf actress who starred in the movie “A Quiet Place.” Apparently, she lives in the area, and Nathan was a little bit starstruck. He wanted to ask for a selfie with her but thought it would be unprofessional. As such, he opted not to. But he was excited to meet her and to have her tell their interpreting team that they did a great job!

Some of his friends attended the performance today so they could show their support. At some point I’d like to be able to attend one of these performances as well. But as you all well know, our lives are just a little bit busy right now. He really enjoys these theatrical interpreting gigs though, so I suspect there will be more opportunities in the future! 

Nathan told us that interpreting for this particular show was kind of a full circle moment for him. A few years ago, when we all went to see the Broadway Across America production of Les Misérables, we happened to be at one of the performances where ASL interpretation was offered. It was the first time Nathan had been exposed to interpreting for a theatrical production, and he was absolutely mesmerized. He spent equal time watching the stage and watching the interpreters. After the show, he was totally excited about the possibility of combining several of his passions and interpreting for a show. And now, he can say that he has done so!

It Has Been a Really Rough Migraine Week

As evidenced by the bao. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever made a bao-cano before. Of course, I don’t usually attempt meals with higher degrees of difficulty on migraine days, but I have a missionary leaving next week and I promised him bao one more time before he leaves. So, it was not optional. And despite the multitude of explosions, they still tasted delightful. And I managed to position the parchment paper carefully enough that the steamer baskets didn’t even need to be scrubbed after the eruption. I definitely deserve extra points for that one!