As always, this past year has left my family and I with a multitude of life lessons that we will carry with us as we start the new year. Here are a few of them.
Daniel continues to learn that being an independent adult is hard and that there are numerous challenges and detours along the path to your life and career goals. He is also learning that sometimes things you once enjoyed can become more work than fun and that it’s ok because goals and priorities can and should shift with time. He has also learned that sometimes mental health is worth more than money. Despite that, he is still enjoying his music because he has also learned that the things that bring him joy are a necessary part of his life. Perhaps the funniest lesson he has learned, at least to me, is that he is so done with on campus housing because it is where all the freshmen live, and he is good and ready for some more mature roommates and ward members.
Nathan has learned to wait on the Lord. That is a hard lesson to learn at any age, and I am constantly astounded by how faithfully he has learned it. He has also learned that waiting on the Lord does not mean standing still and has continued to move forward with his life even as he waits. He was planning to be in Texas but is home with us instead. He still has a headache which is not what any of us want. He is returning to school much sooner than planned but with the limitations a non-stop headache has placed on him. He has moments when he feels like he can’t take any more, but overall, he handles it all with an amazing amount of faith and patience. Not only has he learned some incredibly difficult things, but his example has helped me learn them too.
Matthew has learned that sometimes talent is enough to get you where you want to be, but more often than not, it also requires hard work. He is beginning to learn how to deal with some performance anxiety so that he can play as confidently in front of others as he does when he is alone. He has also learned that he really does have the knowledge and the ability to feed himself safely away from home and family and has realized that being able to do so is a necessary part of being able to fully participate in all that high school, and life, have to offer. Another thing he has learned is that he has different talents, strengths and skills than his older brothers and that it is ok. In fact, being different is amazing! That lesson in itself is a hugely important one.
Malia has begun to learn that sometimes the social aspect of school is the hardest part and that doing the right thing isn’t always easy. But she has also learned that it’s ok to stand up for herself and that doing the right thing, even when it is hard, is worth it in the long run. She has discovered that you can be friends with someone and not always agree with them and that you can even be mad at them and still be friends. And that what is good for you is not always what makes you happy. She has also learned that she can do hard things, even if they are scary.
Kevin has learned that it’s ok to ask for help when you need it. He has also learned that when others offer to help, saying no denies them the blessings that come from ministering. An associated lesson is that many hands really do make light work. He has learned that having an emotionally demanding job means that sometimes you need to take a break and that it is ok to do so. It doesn’t make you weak.
I have learned that the Old Testament is not as scary and cryptic as it may seem. Don’t get me wrong. I still think it is the most challenging book of scripture to read and comprehend, but I have discovered that as with all scripture, time, effort, pondering and a healthy dose of the Spirit can help me learn the lessons the Lord wants me to learn. I have learned, or been reminded, that a mother’s job is never easy. Watching Nathan patiently suffer with the headaches that he has inherited from me and not being able to do anything to help him has been a humbling and heart wrenching experience. I have also learned all the lessons that my family has learned. Regardless of age, we are all teaching and learning from one another and that is exactly how it should be in a family.
As I contemplate what the past year has taught us, I can once again say that life is unpredictable. We can plan all we want, but things don’t always follow the plans, however carefully made they might be. But I must concede that no matter how my personal plans turn out, the Lord’s grand master plan is always perfectly executed. Yes, we have had some twists in our road that have been challenging for us. But we have also seen a multitude of tender mercies that have reminded us that the Lord always knows what he’s doing and that his plan is always for our eternal good. And we have all learned many important lessons along the way. And will continue to learn as we keep moving forward. Sometimes it can take a good long while to see where we are going but moving forward with faith is one of the things we are sent here to do.
As I look forward to a new year, I’m trying to have just a little more faith to wait on the Lord. I am looking a little harder to see his hand in our lives. I’m trying to allow myself to find a little more peace, a little more joy in my life despite the twists and turns. I’m trying to let go of a little more fear and anxiety and replace it with love for and trust in my Savior. All of that seems like a tall order, but I’m also trying to remember that I don’t have to do it all at one time and that I never have to do it alone. The Lord is my light. By day and by night his presence is near. Bring on the new year.
