Birthday Bao

Nathan’s birthday is on Wednesday and by way of celebrating his big day, he decided to make bao. Today was a holiday which meant no work for him, so it was designated as bao day. He invited Daniel, Tawni, and Marissa, one of their neighbors, to join in his culinary creations, and they were all excited to participate. I suspect part of that is the “Little Red Hen” bit, the whole “if you help make it you get to help eat it” part, but I also think that there is some interest in learning to make the foods of our culture. Which I love. I also love that Nathan sees cooking as a way to treat himself! 

The end result was a little rough looking, although first timer Marissa created the cutest little bao that steamed up so pretty that I’m a little jealous. 😜 However, all those involved assure me that they tasted marvelous, Marissa stating that her “belly was very happy.” And I definitely believe the rave reviews. There is never any leftover bao, even when they are lacking in the looks department! These people who have been fed the goodness of homemade bao are likely forever ruined where the frozen kind you get at the store are concerned. 

Strike Up the Band

May is always busy with all the end of year performances and events, but with Matthew being a senior, it has been extra busy this year. This past week has been particularly busy. Starting with Malia’s choir concert last Tuesday, we have had a concert or performance of some sort on 6 of the past 8 evenings. I already shared thoughts about Matthew’s vocal jazz performance, so now I’m going to wax poetic on all his band concerts. Of which there have been many.

But first, let me mention one other anomaly we’ve had. Last week Wednesday was the annual Spring Showcase, a theater department performance. Each year the students in the Theater 3 class write a ten-minute one act play. The Theater 4 students direct the plays. And anyone student in the school who wants to can audition to be in one of the plays. Matthew has auditioned and been cast every year that he has been in high school. In fact, this year he had people tell him they needed him for their shows, so it was pretty much certain that he would be participating. 😂 The first year we attended the showcase the shows were pretty entertaining, a good mix of humor, mystery, and drama. Last year it felt like every play was about or written from deep within the wellspring of some kind of mental illness, which made it a less pleasant event. And this year, there seemed to be a focus on a twist at the end of the story, some humorous, some more of the mystery variety. It was a fun change of pace and Matthew, who pretty much adlibbed his entire performance, was the one performer who got some actual laughs from the audience.

And now, the band begins to play…

Last Thursday was the end of year band concert. Matthew only played with the wind symphony for this one as the jazz bands had their own separate performance this time around. The concert theme was video game music which was actually the theme of the first concert of Matthew’s sophomore year, the first concert our current band teacher held at this school. I’m not into video games and as such, none of the music was familiar or even that interesting to me. Frankly, I was a bit bored. But it wasn’t just me. None of the kids cared either. For some it was a “been there done that” kind of thing. For others, they just didn’t care about the music. And I’m sure the apathy of the band director over the past month has not helped. But no matter the reason, the kids, Matthew included, just didn’t have any enthusiasm about this concert. They performed well and all that, but there was no excitement for the pieces they were playing, and it was evident in the lack of energy. Oh, well. At least this is the last one for Matthew. And he’s actually totally ok with that.

Last Saturday Matthew had a jazz gig in Sandy. They got invited to participate in a multi-high school concert held at the Sandy Amphitheater and Kevin was in attendance to support Matthew. Matthew felt like it wasn’t a stellar performance, and the big news of the night was the rain, which completely soaked the audience, and the lightning, which shut down the concert right after Matthew’s group played. 

Last night was a two-event evening, only one of which was band-related. Our new ward has a BBQ for all the graduating seniors each year and takes a minute to recognize each senior and present them with their last emblem of belonging for the youth program, which is a small glass ornament with the Christus etched inside. As parents, we had the opportunity to take a minute to share a bit about our youth and then the bishop presented the statues. Bishop knew Matthew was double booked, so he had us go first and then we immediately dashed over to the park for Matthew’s last high school band concert ever.

Last night’s concert was advertised as the Herriman Jazz Festival and was another multi-school jazz band event. Several of the local middle schools and the other high school in Herriman performed as well as the vocal jazz group and the two jazz bands from our high school. Matthew has been lobbying for this particular event for three years and has been looking forward to it for just as long. The first such event in our little city was the year Nathan was a senior. He sang with the vocal jazz group that year and the jazz band played. Last year the concert was supposed to happen, but due to some scheduling snafus and an outright stealing of the idea by another high school who scheduled theirs for the night before ours was supposed to be, the venue was changed at the last minute and the whole jazz in the park thing didn’t happen. This year that issue was solved by making it a multi-school concert.

Knowing that this concert was Matthew’s big senior swan song and that it meant a lot to him, Daniel, Tawni and Nathan all came down to be in attendance. They took Malia, and our camp chairs, to the park and staked out a spot while Kevin, Matthew and I attended the ward BBQ. We arrived just in time for a necessary thirty-minute intermission. A bunch of the kids in vocal jazz are also in madrigals and they were double booked last night as well, so they had to dash from one performance to another, building in enough time to change and set up. They sang a variety of the group numbers we heard at the full concert last Friday as well as several of my favorite solos from the previous event. And it all went great. 

Matthew’s jazz band was the last group on the program, the culmination of the festival, and Matthew’s last ever high school band concert. Unfortunately, the performance did not go anywhere near as well as he had hoped and he was equal parts crushed, angry, frustrated, and incredibly disappointed. As I have already said, Matthew has been looking forward to this particular concert for three years. We didn’t feel like it went as poorly as he did, but he is his own worst critic first of all, and second, the jazz band this year is just nowhere near as good as last year’s ensemble, and he knows it. So, he does everything he can, and as lead trumpet he has felt a good deal of responsibility for the band this year. But when no one else cares as much as he does, there is only so much he can do. He is likely going to need some time to being able to put this particular let down behind him, but there were two tender mercies this evening. First, Daniel, who is a well-seasoned jazz band member himself and the sibling that is closest to Matthew, was there to support him and talk him through it. Second, our high school band director actually took the time to acknowledge all the hard work Matthew has put into the band program for these past three years and tell Matthew how grateful he is for everything Matthew has done. So, while Matthew has frequently been frustrated and irritated with the lack of planning and the changeable nature of the band teacher, all his effort has been noticed and appreciated. So, kudos to his teacher for taking the time to thank him. Matthew needed that.

Malia feels a bit bad about saying it, but she is tired of all the band concerts. And honestly, I’m a little bit over it as well. There have been a lot of them packed into a very short amount of time and while we both love Matthew and want to support him, we are both glad that the next concert will be a choir concert!

It’s Official!

Ever since Daniel told us that he and Tawni are getting married, I’ve had to laugh a little bit. Not because they are getting married, because that is just fantastic, but because the way they are doing things is so very similar to how Kevin and I did things. You see, for the past two months, Daniel and Tawni have known that they are headed to the altar. But they have not been “officially engaged” because there was no ring and no official proposal. But they have scheduled their sealing at the temple, reserved a venue for the reception, chosen colors, begun deciding on a menu for the luncheon, begun the search for an apartment, priced out flowers, etc. 

When Kevin and I decided we were getting married, our MO was exactly the same except for the fact that we didn’t actually tell anyone, not even our parents. In those days, once you scheduled your sealing with the temple, they sent you a letter in the mail with all the details that come via email now. Knowing that, I was off track (which meant I was at home during the day while my parents went to work) and made sure to check the mail every day so I could grab that letter before anyone else did. Unfortunately, the letter arrived on a Saturday. Which meant my dad was the one who brought in the mail. And that also means he saw the letter, got a little stressed, and asked my older sister Patti if I was eloping. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING WITH TEARS SMILEY So I’ve been chuckling just a little bit every time they say that they are not actually engaged yet. 

But today, it is finally official! The ring was ready, the proposal happened, and now we can officially keep going with all the planning that was unofficial yesterday. 😜

The Jazz Singer

This evening was Matthew’s last full performance for vocal jazz. While I have attended many years of band concerts with both Mattthew and Daniel and have enjoyed most of them (and tolerated the others), vocal music is still what’s in my heart. As such, I have loved being able to attend more choir concerts this year. And I have really loved the opportunity to hear so many old jazz standards sung by the vocal jazz group. I grew up watching classic 1940’s and 50’s movie musicals and am a fan of older vocalists such as Frank Sinatra and Rosemary Clooney, and newer ones with similar styles like Harry Connick Jr. and Michael Buble. So much of that style of music is rarely heard nowadays and it has been a joy to not only hear it performed, but to see Matthew learning to love it as well. 

Matthew loves jazz music, and he has reveled in the opportunity to sing a lot of it this year. He has a lot of natural talent as far as singing goes, but he has learned a bit of technique and gained some skills that have enhanced that talent. One of the fun things about this evening’s selections was the fact that during one of his solos, I could definitely hear his trumpet skills coming out in his vocalizations. All the time he has spent learning to improv in band has carried over to his vocal improv and when he really started experimenting with it a few months ago, he discovered that it really is second nature to him. So that was a fun bit of music!

The fact that his senior year is almost over hasn’t really sunk in yet, but with this evening’s swan song, it is coming. As for me, I admit I was a bit emotional about this concert because I know that it is nearly the end of a good thing. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but most of Matthew’s close friends from school last year graduated. So, as his senior year started, he was a little bit lost socially. The circumstances of his acceptance into the vocal jazz group were such that he began the year with a bit of imposter syndrome riding on his shoulders. He wasn’t sure if the other students would accept his presence there. But these amazing choir kids just opened their hearts and welcomed my band kid into their world. While Matthew has loved the music, I think the culture and camaraderie were what he needed most. And for the safe place that he has found in the choir room and with these kids, I will always be grateful. 

I’m going to miss these concerts. But Malia has unabashedly declared herself a choir kid, so I know there will be more singing to come. I don’t know if she will want to try out for the vocal jazz group when she gets there, but we will see. Either way, I am looking forward to more choir concerts. And I’m really, REALLY looking forward to being able to unsubscribe from the high school band calendar. 😂

What a Wonderful Class

Tonight was Malia’s last choir concert of the school year. She was pretty stressed about his one because she felt like they weren’t ready, but honestly, there was only one part of one song that sounded crunchy. She told me afterwards that the choir teacher brought them in at the wrong time, so it was totally his fault and not theirs. And so, despite the worries, she was pleased that it went as well as it did. The concert was a themed “decades” concert and the choir teacher selected a song from each decade from about the 1940’s up to now. Malia’s choir sang “Africa,” a pop tune that was all the rage when I was a teenager, a medley of the choral music from the movie “Frozen,” and ended with “What a Wonderful World.” It was a fun assortment of songs.

Choir has been one of Malia’s happy places this year. Most of the kids there have been great to be with and she has made some good friends. The choir teacher is funny and good with the kids and just a little bit crazy which is a necessary quality for a middle school choir teacher. WACKY SMILEY Choir is her last class of the day, and it has been a fantastic way to finish her school day. In addition, it is one of those classes that has helped build her self-confidence. She is a bit more outgoing and a bit more willing to let people hear her sing. She isn’t quite as nervous before concerts and for the most part, the performances are fun for her. She isn’t quite so terrified of singing in smaller groups and she and a few of her classmates did well at solo and ensemble festival this spring. Overall, it has been a fantastic experience for her, and she has joyful claimed status as a “choir kid.”

Malia has some worries about how it will be next year because all the 9th graders will be gone, and she doesn’t have great confidence in the current 8th graders, but of course, she won’t really know how it is going to be until she gets there. I certainly hope that it will continue to be one of the joys in her day. And I hope that she will make even more friends as new kids join the choir. I suspect she is going to miss this part of her life a lot over the summer. 

Worth the Wait

As you may well know, we have really shifted into experience gifts with our kids rather than just giving them more stuff. As such, today was Christmas! Or at least today was a Christmas present. 😉 Today was the day we saw “Wicked.” Not the recent movie version of which I’m highly skeptical based on the previews I’ve seen, but the Broadway version. We took all our boys to see “Wicked” last time it made its way to Salt Lake, but Malia was still too young to care at that point. But about a year later, she was old enough to care and has wanted to see this spectacle of a musical ever since. So, suffice it to say, she was super, super, duper excited!

In past I’ve talked about the power of live theater and even though I’ve seen this show three times before today and I know exactly what is going to happen, I still get emotional, I still get goose bumps, I still enjoy every moment from that first chord to the final dropping of the curtain at the end of the show. As soon as the lights dimmed and the first chord sounded, I got a little teary. This show does have a powerful beginning, both musically and visually, and it gets me every time. And in the post show analysis, Malia declared that she is my daughter because as soon the show started, she got a little teary too. 😂She has wanted to see this show since she was eight, and the anticipation and the visual and musical power of those first moments of this show definitely made an impact on her. 

When the applause finally died down at the end of the show, I asked Malia if it was worth the five-year wait. Her response? “Yes!”

The Hearts of the Children

During his mission, one of Daniel’s weekly tasks as directed by his mission president was to spend an hour a week working on family history. The area in which he was serving had a passionate and dedicated sister serving as temple and family history consultant and she passed that passion on to Daniel. In fact, after he came home, he continued to meet with her weekly via Zoom for nearly a year as she continued to help him dive into his own family history. And while he doesn’t spend as much time as he used to because of school and work, he is still incredibly interested in family history and values his heritage a great deal.

Two weeks ago, during one of my normal lunch visits with my parents, my mom told Rachael and I that she is ready to pass on her engagement ring, her mother’s engagement ring, and her grandmother’s ring. That is a big step for her and honestly, it caught me completely off guard. And I’ll admit that I got just a bit teary-eyed because I already knew that I had a son who was in the market for a ring and that just might be interested in an heirloom one. Rachael and I decided that we would leave the rings with our mom for now and offer them to whichever of our sons got married first. We don’t have any jealous feelings about the rings or feel like we needed to decide who gets them right now, so it was an easy decision. 

I called Daniel that afternoon and shared all the info and pictures with him. He got a bit excited, family history enthusiast that he is, and told me that he has been thinking about incorporating his Chinese heritage into his wedding in some way. I extended the offer of whichever ring Tawni would like or none of them if they didn’t suit her fancy and Daniel told me he would talk to her.

Today Daniel and Tawni drove down from Logan to join me at my parents’ house for lunch…and to look at the rings. Tawni loves my grandmother Esther’s ring, and my mom, with only a few tears, happily passed it on to the next generation. Tawni will be the fourth generation to wear the ring, following my grandmother, my mom, and Jon’s first wife. It needs to be sized, but I am just as pleased as my mom to see it going to someone that we are already learning to love.

I’m so, so pleased that my children value our heritage. The world was different when I was young, and I had some experiences being categorized and marked as different when I was a kid. Experiences that left me wishing I was like everybody else instead of looking different and being treated differently. Sometimes it was hard and while my experiences with prejudice were minor compared to many, there were times when I wished I could just be a little blond girl like all my friends and classmates. So, I am extraordinarily glad that at least where we live, people of all cultures are valued and treated with equality. And I’m so glad that my children have been able to grow up in a place where they can be proud of their heritage and not see it as a handicap. 

It is a little bit of a mind bender to think about one of my children getting married. Sometimes I look at my kids and it is hard to believe that once upon a time they were my little snuggly babies. But I think about how much joy my little crew has brought me, and I get so very excited for my children to experience that same joy. I know that things will be different moving forward. But it’s good different. The kind of different that means my family is expanding in wonderful ways. I know Daniel is happy. I can see it in his eyes. And as for me, I am so, so happy! Seeing that kind of happiness in one of my children brings me even more joy!

Big News!

Daniel and Tawni are (sort of) engaged!! And I’m super excited! We’ve known for about a month, but they both needed to finish the semester before they jumped into wedding planning, so they asked us to keep the info within our immediate family for a bit. Now that the semester has ended and Tawni has graduated, they are ready for the world to know. In fact, Daniel sent me a message while he was waiting for Tawni’s graduation to start telling me that he called both sets of grandparents. 😂

This time of year is often referred to as the M&M period-missions and marriages. It seems that we are going to have one of each this summer!