It’s Official!

Ever since Daniel told us that he and Tawni are getting married, I’ve had to laugh a little bit. Not because they are getting married, because that is just fantastic, but because the way they are doing things is so very similar to how Kevin and I did things. You see, for the past two months, Daniel and Tawni have known that they are headed to the altar. But they have not been “officially engaged” because there was no ring and no official proposal. But they have scheduled their sealing at the temple, reserved a venue for the reception, chosen colors, begun deciding on a menu for the luncheon, begun the search for an apartment, priced out flowers, etc. 

When Kevin and I decided we were getting married, our MO was exactly the same except for the fact that we didn’t actually tell anyone, not even our parents. In those days, once you scheduled your sealing with the temple, they sent you a letter in the mail with all the details that come via email now. Knowing that, I was off track (which meant I was at home during the day while my parents went to work) and made sure to check the mail every day so I could grab that letter before anyone else did. Unfortunately, the letter arrived on a Saturday. Which meant my dad was the one who brought in the mail. And that also means he saw the letter, got a little stressed, and asked my older sister Patti if I was eloping. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING WITH TEARS SMILEY So I’ve been chuckling just a little bit every time they say that they are not actually engaged yet. 

But today, it is finally official! The ring was ready, the proposal happened, and now we can officially keep going with all the planning that was unofficial yesterday. 😜

The Hearts of the Children

During his mission, one of Daniel’s weekly tasks as directed by his mission president was to spend an hour a week working on family history. The area in which he was serving had a passionate and dedicated sister serving as temple and family history consultant and she passed that passion on to Daniel. In fact, after he came home, he continued to meet with her weekly via Zoom for nearly a year as she continued to help him dive into his own family history. And while he doesn’t spend as much time as he used to because of school and work, he is still incredibly interested in family history and values his heritage a great deal.

Two weeks ago, during one of my normal lunch visits with my parents, my mom told Rachael and I that she is ready to pass on her engagement ring, her mother’s engagement ring, and her grandmother’s ring. That is a big step for her and honestly, it caught me completely off guard. And I’ll admit that I got just a bit teary-eyed because I already knew that I had a son who was in the market for a ring and that just might be interested in an heirloom one. Rachael and I decided that we would leave the rings with our mom for now and offer them to whichever of our sons got married first. We don’t have any jealous feelings about the rings or feel like we needed to decide who gets them right now, so it was an easy decision. 

I called Daniel that afternoon and shared all the info and pictures with him. He got a bit excited, family history enthusiast that he is, and told me that he has been thinking about incorporating his Chinese heritage into his wedding in some way. I extended the offer of whichever ring Tawni would like or none of them if they didn’t suit her fancy and Daniel told me he would talk to her.

Today Daniel and Tawni drove down from Logan to join me at my parents’ house for lunch…and to look at the rings. Tawni loves my grandmother Esther’s ring, and my mom, with only a few tears, happily passed it on to the next generation. Tawni will be the fourth generation to wear the ring, following my grandmother, my mom, and Jon’s first wife. It needs to be sized, but I am just as pleased as my mom to see it going to someone that we are already learning to love.

I’m so, so pleased that my children value our heritage. The world was different when I was young, and I had some experiences being categorized and marked as different when I was a kid. Experiences that left me wishing I was like everybody else instead of looking different and being treated differently. Sometimes it was hard and while my experiences with prejudice were minor compared to many, there were times when I wished I could just be a little blond girl like all my friends and classmates. So, I am extraordinarily glad that at least where we live, people of all cultures are valued and treated with equality. And I’m so glad that my children have been able to grow up in a place where they can be proud of their heritage and not see it as a handicap. 

It is a little bit of a mind bender to think about one of my children getting married. Sometimes I look at my kids and it is hard to believe that once upon a time they were my little snuggly babies. But I think about how much joy my little crew has brought me, and I get so very excited for my children to experience that same joy. I know that things will be different moving forward. But it’s good different. The kind of different that means my family is expanding in wonderful ways. I know Daniel is happy. I can see it in his eyes. And as for me, I am so, so happy! Seeing that kind of happiness in one of my children brings me even more joy!

Big News!

Daniel and Tawni are (sort of) engaged!! And I’m super excited! We’ve known for about a month, but they both needed to finish the semester before they jumped into wedding planning, so they asked us to keep the info within our immediate family for a bit. Now that the semester has ended and Tawni has graduated, they are ready for the world to know. In fact, Daniel sent me a message while he was waiting for Tawni’s graduation to start telling me that he called both sets of grandparents. 😂

This time of year is often referred to as the M&M period-missions and marriages. It seems that we are going to have one of each this summer!