Language Artist

Malia is not taking an art class in school this year. Having said that, her artistic tendencies are showing up in all her classes. The first week of school, she spent a good amount of time perfecting the sketches on her get to know you tessellation for her math class. Last week, her world history assignment highlighting one of the world’s major religions got the artistic treatment. And this week, her plot pyramid for language arts became a masterpiece dedicated to one of her all-time favorite movies. She spent most of the weekend perfecting it. And the only part she traced was the lettering. The rest was all her.

While many kids will do the bare minimum art wise to complete the assignment, Malia gives each one her all. Because even when it is just a homework assignment, she finds joy in the art. And sometimes her effort pays off in other more tangible ways in addition to the intrinsic satisfaction she gets from the process of creating something wonderful. For instance, her language arts teacher gave her classes a bit of motivation in the form of a contest. Her TAs would vote on which submissions they liked best, and the winner from each class would receive a quiz pass.

During their last class on Tuesday, Malia’s teacher hinted that the “Tangled” one was going to be hard to beat. That gave Malia a boost of confidence. Today the official winners were announced, and Malia was totally jazzed to see her assignment hanging up on the wall. She also told us that not only did she win for her class, but hers was the only one that received a unanimous vote from the Tas, and her teacher has taken a picture of it to use as an example for future classes. Talk about an ego boost! And the cherry on top is the fact that she won’t need to take next week’s quiz. 😉

“He Hears, Sees, and Knows You”

Every mother of a missionary knows that when your phone rings and the caller id shows the call coming from within the mission area, your heartrate immediately begins to escalate. Every missionary mama also knows that when it is the mission president on the other end of the call, the anxiety skyrockets. So, when I answered a video call from Arkansas this afternoon and found myself face to face with Pres. M, my heart jumped into my throat. Being a wise man, the very first thing he did was assure me that nothing was wrong. He said that mission presidents don’t often get to make the good calls home but today was one of those calls. By then, the rest of my family was also on high alert, and Kevin joined me on the call. Pres. M told us that he was sitting there with Elder ***** and turned his phone to allow Matthew to join the view. He explained that they had just finished their interview and thought that it was Labor Day so maybe they should call home. He then proceeded to say, “We looove Elder *****!” He described Matthew as a hard worker and a great missionary and thanked us for raising such an amazing son. I was teary eyed by then, of course, but I wasn’t feeling stressed anymore. And honestly, the huge smile on Pres. M’s face helped solidify the fact that all was well. 

Pres. M then shared that they are praying for his ankles because the Lord needs Matthew in Arkansas more than anywhere else right now. (Matthew has developed tendonitis in his ankles and has been working with a physical therapist to try to resolve the issues.) I mentioned that we are also praying for Matthew’s ankles, and he commented with a grin that there are a lot of people praying for these ankles. He shared with us that he loves reading Matthew’s weekly emails because Matthew asks good questions and has a deep understanding of the gospel, and about three more times told us, “We looove Elder *****!” Malia popped her head in, and I invited her to come meet Pres. M. He mentioned that Matthew had told him she had just started high school and asked her how high school was treating her. Her response was, “Better than I expected!” I was so impressed that Pres. M knew enough about our family to remember that Malia had just started high school. He ended the call by telling us that missionaries are blessed but that the families who are sacrificing their sons, children, brothers are blessed as well. It was a sweet reminder to me that the Lord is mindful of Matthew, of course, but that he is also mindful of us as we pray for and worry about and miss our missionary while he is gone.

When we spoke to Matthew last Wednesday, he was looking pretty rough around the edges. He has worked so hard to be positive in all his emails and when he calls and he has rarely complained about anything, but he looked so downtrodden and was so subdued that Kevin prompted an early end to the call with all our other kids so that we could have a few minutes alone with Matthew. Apparently, his newest companion is chronically late and Matthew, who is perpetually early, was incredibly frustrated and discouraged. Up until now, he has never been late to mission meetings, member meals, doctor’s appointments, etc. But now, he is always waiting on his companion and is always running 10-30 minutes late for everything. His companion’s tendency to procrastinate everything exacerbates the problem and Matthew has no idea how to handle the situation. He has tried everything he can think of to motivate his companion, but nothing seems to help. So, frustration and discouragement have been Matthew’s constant companions for the past several weeks. We counseled with him as best we could, offering support and reminders that he is not alone, but when it was time to end the call, he still looked extremely down. As such, I have been worrying about him, as has Kevin.

I think that often the Lord knows what we need before we do, because I didn’t realize how much I needed to see the light back in Matthew’s eyes until I saw him with Pres. M today. That defeated look was gone from his countenance, and he was smiling and radiating light like he usually does. I came away feeling lighter and relieved myself, and I am so grateful for a mission president who is prompted to make a call to a missionary’s family far away so that a missionary mama can be reassured that her son is ok. And as a last comment, that grin Pres. M has when he speaks in conference? That is his natural demeanor. He is always smiling. He is one of those people who seems continually filled with joy. What an amazing example he is to all of us whose lives he is touching. His call to serve as the president in Matthew’s mission was unexpected for all of us, but I think the Lord knew that just like Matthew, he is needed in Arkansas more than anywhere else right now.

Dreamer

Remember a while back when Malia left some pictures and a little love note on my whiteboard? I recently had a dream that someone erased my whiteboard and when I woke up, I was super sad. As such, I decided I had better just buy a new one. Because sometimes my to-do list requires more than half the board. Malia has taken that as a sign that the first board can be filled with more art…and our DARE song incident report counter. 😂

In my defense, today's rendition of the DARE song was all Malia. It's usually me, but today I can honestly plead not guilty. 😉

“This Means Something”

And what does a giant oatmeal cookie that looks more like a volcano than a cookie mean? It means that today’s experiment baking with the latest batch of homemade margarine did not go according to plan. 😂

The second batch turned out much better, thankfully, because the first ones definitely won’t fit in the box I intend to use to mail these giant cookies to Matthew. 

It’s a good thing that cookies that look more like geographical features than confections are still tasty because it looks like massive oatmeal cookies are on the menu tonight!

P.S. Name the movie and I’ll bake you a mountain-shaped cookie. 😜

“Your Best Days are Ahead”

At the last general conference in April, Emily Belle Freeman spoke about “Best Days and Worst Days.” It was one of those talks that felt like it was given just for my sisters and I. We had a lot of worst days in March as Esther was diagnosed with cancer and test results were less positive than we hoped. There were a lot of tears shed, and a lot of heartfelt prayers offered. I found hope in Sis. Freeman’s message that no matter how difficult things are now, that our best days are ahead. That is the promise of the gospel through the atonement of Jesus Christ. But despite that promise, mortality is hard. We do our best to keep an eternal perspective in mind, but often those best days don’t come when we want them to. Sometimes we are asked to wait many months or years. And sometimes those blessings won’t come until well past our mortal lives. But they will always come. That was the crux of her message.

One thing I have been reminded of often in the past six months is that even the little wins constitute a best day. Some of the little wins that I have seen despite the difficulties of the past months is the fact that my sisters and I have pulled together. While we have had our moments of conflict from time to time, for the most part we have gotten along well. We all consider our sisters friends, but I think our relationships have been strengthened. We all have different talents and skills and there has been a need for all of them at one time or another. I feel like it is only together that we have been able to meet this trial head on.

Another small win has been seeing just how many people are ready and willing to serve and lift any one of us when we need help. Not only has our family mobilized to provide Esther with the support and help she has needed, but her friends and her ward members have risen up and filled in all the gaps. There has been an outpouring of love for her as she has faced this huge bump in her road.

A personal win has been the fact that as I have turned to the Lord in sorrow and fear, He has taught me just a little bit more about the kind of peace that I can find as I yoke myself with Him and lean on Him no matter what is happening in my life or the lives of those I love.

So despite the less than positive circumstances, there have been best days of a sisters’ outing to Color Me Mine, days when rides to a multitude of medical appointments were covered by many different people who selflessly took time away from their own lives to fill a need, and a day when I was taught just a little bit more about exactly what it means to find peace through Jesus Christ and was blessed with more peace than I had felt in months, maybe even years.

The chemo unit at IMed has a celebration bell that their patients get to ring as they walk out of their last treatment. Esther got to ring the bell today. 

Today was a best day.

And there are more to come.

Prodigious Pastry

Today Malia got to enjoy the leftovers of her birthday treat. With the cinnamon roll on a plate rather than in the pan, it is easier to see just how gigantic it is. For reference, that is not a dessert plate. It is a normal 9-inch lunch plate. And she assures me it was just as good today as it was yesterday. 

Birthday Buns

As of yesterday, Malia is officially fifteen. Old enough to learn to drive. Starting high school. Navigating the complex social structure of the teenage world. Juggling social engagements with homework. Thinking about what to do after high school. It seems like just yesterday that she was laughing to wake me in the morning. Charming her older brothers into doing everything for her. Stealing Matthew’s Ironman action figure. Starting kindergarten at four years old. Filling sketchbook after sketchbook with drawings of dragons. The time has gone by so fast. It is a bit hard to believe that if I round by fives, she is closer to 20 than she is to 10. Closer to moving out. Closer to being an adult. Closer to discovering whatever life has in store for her. It can be a bit overwhelming to think about the fact that Kevin and I are only a few years away from being empty nesters. But I digress. I was talking about a birthday. A fifteenth birthday to be precise.

While we sang the official song and ate the official cake at my parents’ house a couple of weeks ago and Malia’s birthday present came earlier this summer in the form of a new phone, there were some traditional celebratory elements to her actual birthday. Malia started off her day with a birthday shopping trip and lunch with Kevin’s mom. Nathan was invited to join the event as chauffeur, so the three of them hit Barnes and Noble, Smith and Edwards, and ate lunch at Raising Cane’s, one of Malia’s favorites. While she was out, Kevin went a bit wild and came home with a plethora of balloons. Seriously. So many balloons. It was highly entertaining! My birthday balloons lasted almost seven months before the last one lost its lift this year and Kevin’s mom’s balloons lasted eight months. Malia is hoping one of hers can beat that eight-month mark. We’ll see how it goes. Check back around Easter and we'll see if there are any still hanging around. 😂

While Malia was gone, one of the young women leaders in the ward dropped by a small gift for her and stuck a “Honk, it’s my birthday” sign in our front yard. Malia liked the small gift as this particular leader is in the know where her allergies are concerned and as such, all the treats included were ones she could eat. However, she was not a fan of the sign. She isn’t one to publicize her birthday, and it was just a bit too public. But we enjoyed it and Nathan made sure to honk when they got home after lunch and saw the sign. Kevin was inclined to honk as well but caved to Malia’s preferences and gave a vocal honk rather than a vehicular one. 😉

Over the past few years, Malia has discovered that she likes collecting coins. (It is an interest she shares with Matthew, which is fun for both of them.) As such, a trip to the coin shop to see what they have in stock is always fun. So, after lunch, Kevin took Malia up to a local coin shop that they like. They arrived home just in time for the three of us plus Nathan (have I mentioned that we are all enjoying having him closer to home? Because we are. 😄) to make our way to the Olive Garden, another of Malia’s favorites, for dinner. Knowing that she would be full to bursting with breadsticks, cheese sticks, and alfredo after dinner last night, Malia opted to hold off on her birthday dessert until today. But the evening of her birthday held several more surprises. I had one small present for her, “It's My Bird-day,” a book in the pigeon book series she has loved since elementary school. It was also a book she read to me while we were in Target a couple of weeks ago, one she commented would be fun to have. As a birthday gift. Wink, wink. Daniel and Tawni called to wish her a happy birthday and Matthew, who arranged a time with us when he called last week, called to talk specifically to her for her birthday. Having the opportunity to call home on special days and holidays has been nice for us. And for Malia, who has missed Matthew, ending her birthday with a good long chat with her brother was the perfect gift.  

Speaking of Matthew, this next birthday element can be largely attributed to him. A number of years ago, when Matthew was still in middle school, he was invited to an awards ceremony. The school was planning to serve cinnamon rolls and knowing that Matthew wouldn’t be able to eat them, I provided some that he could eat. And also knowing that cafeteria cinnamon rolls are always big, I made our standard homemade cinnamon rolls gigantic. (The funny thing is that I packaged them in a plastic clamshell container like Kneaders uses for sandwiches and such, so when I initially offered them to Matthew, he looked at them and waved them away assuming they were not safe for him to consume. I guess that means they were up to cafeteria size standards. 😂) The long-lasting result of that particular endeavor is that since that day, I have not once made normal sized cinnamon rolls. My kids always want the ones that are as big as their faces. And honestly, who can blame them? Giant cinnamon rolls are so much more fun than the little ones! And that means when Malia requested cinnamon rolls for her birthday, it came as no surprise that she wanted BIG ones. So, this evening, we enjoyed a mega sized dessert. And it was mega good. I don’t begrudge any of the cooking or baking accommodations I have made over the years to allow Matthew to eat safely, but one of the things I have missed is real cream cheese icing. Especially slathered on a warm cinnamon roll. It was an ooey, gooey, two hands sticky while I ate it delight. Malia enjoyed it as well. Especially since we didn’t make her blow out any candles this time around. And because she got first choice, she selected the biggest one, as well she should. The second biggest one is on reserve for her to enjoy tomorrow. 😉

For the past 25 years, the role of mother has shaped my days, my nights, and my life. As I watch my youngest child grow up, I am suddenly reminded that in not too many years, I will be faced with the fact that my children no longer need me in the same way they have in past. The child raising portion of my life will be done and the relationships I have with my kids will change, as they should. I’m already seeing that shift with all my boys. But having only one daughter, I am finding it a mixed bag to see her grow up. One the one hand, I am loving the relationship that is developing between us. It is different than my relationship with my boys. And Malia is so, so funny! She is witty and sarcastic and not afraid to say what she really thinks, and it just makes me laugh. Every time she cries while reading a book or watching a movie, she turns around and blames it on me, which makes me laugh too. Her confidence has blossomed in the past several years and it has been so great to see her find her place in the world. On the other hand, I kind of miss those days when she watched Rapunzel twice or thrice daily, loved Ladybug Girl, wanted to be a princess every year for Halloween, and would let me experiment with cute hairstyles. The time seems to pass so quickly and on occasion, I feel like I blink and another year is gone. But it also means that I’m more grateful for the little things, the day-to-day opportunities to bond with my daughter, and I’m trying not to take any of them for granted. 

So happy birthday to my girl child. Hopefully the next year will hold even more joy and goodness.

It’s Still a Small World

Matthew sent us a picture via Messenger this morning promising he would tell us a story when we spoke. This evening he shared the story associated with the picture. Apparently, one of his seminary teachers is on his email list, but he honestly thought she wasn’t getting his mission emails. This week, she was at church headquarters and happened to run into previous President, now Elder H. She mentioned that she has a former student serving in Arkansas, and when asked for a name, mentioned Matthew. Elder H broke out into a big smile and proceeded to tell this sister that he loves Matthew. The seminary teacher sent the picture and the anecdote to Matthew via email, and it made his day. He has such great love and respect for Elder Hathaway, and it was so very heartwarming to know that he is held in high regard as well.

Sometimes the little things are the big things. A chance encounter was an opportunity for Matthew to be reminded that his former mission president, while now serving in a different capacity, still loves all those missionaries that he served with in Arkansas.

I Am Ironman

Malia’s birthday is a few weeks away, and as such, this evening was her birthday celebration at my parents’ house. Over the past few weeks, she has begun to dig into the massive tangle of movies that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It started with her watching a few Spiderman movies so that she could see the newest one in the theater with some friends and have the necessary background info needed to understand the plot. From there, she began delving into the beginning of this massive franchise, going back to the early Ironman and Captain America films. 

Somewhere along the way, she decided that she wanted an Ironman cake for her birthday. And this may seem hard to believe seeing that Matthew wore his Ironman costume every day for about three years, but I have never made an Ironman cake. I made Ironman cupcakes as part of the Avengers birthday party Daniel requested many years ago, but never an actual cake. Being that she is a teenager, and a highly opinionated one at that, the design was entirely in Malia’s hands. I tossed suggestions at her and showed her pictures of cakes posted on Pinterest, but the final decision concerning design came about after Kevin suggested she use Lego. 

The cake was one of the simpler ones I’ve decorated because all I had to do was frost it red and slap Ironman on top. But it was still highly effective and super fun! The cake itself was Malia’s favorite combination-vanilla cake with raspberry filling. And seeing that it was a traditional egg cake, I used a cake soak to make the layers extra moist and delicious. Egg-free cake is too delicate to hold up under a generous application of simple syrup which is why I’ve never tried it before, but let me tell you, I’ve been converted. It really did make the cake delightfully moist. It was enjoyed by all, and Malia and I came home with just enough cake left over for us to enjoy another slice tomorrow.

We will be sending Matthew pictures of this cake. I kind of suspect that Malia’s choice was influenced by the fact that Ironman is one of Matthew’s all-time favorites. And the fact that one of her first words was, “Ah-mah!” Meaning “Ironman.” She misses him and while her deep dive into the Avengers movies is the main motivation for this year’s cake theme, I suspect that it was also influenced by the fact that little things like this remind her of her big brother.

Genesis of a Neurosis

Ok. Full Disclosure. I have a serious issue with spiders. Growing up I was just fine. I live in an unfinished basement and that meant lots and lots of spiders. I didn’t let them take over or anything, but if I happened to come across one, it was no biggie to just smash that little (or big) creeper and be on my way. But then, when I was in high school, my friends and I decided to go see a movie and me, being super-duper smart in that moment, didn’t think to ask what we were seeing. I knew my friends had the same values I did and wasn’t concerned that I would end up in a theater watching a bunch of naked people running around or anything like that, so I just went along with the plan. We ended up seeing Arachnophobia and even then, at the outset, I didn’t have a problem. Unfortunately for me, partway through the movie there was a scene where one of those arachnids crawled into a guy’s ear. Havoc ensued and that was the death knell for my peaceful coexistence with spiders.

You see, we watched a lot of Star Trek at my house while I was growing up. And there is this whole plot line in the 1982 Wrath of Khan where a super creepy bug thing crawls into people’s ears and takes control. There is one scene where one of those critters crawls back out amidst blood and death and it very seriously creeped me out. Pretty much traumatized me for life. I could never watch that movie again. Even as an adult, I can’t watch it. And earwigs? They are on my zero-tolerance list. Not only do they look an awful lot like that giant Star Trek bug, but they have the word “ear” right in their name. Which of course, reminds me about bugs crawling into ears!

So, when I watched a spider crawl into an ear while sitting in a dark theater surrounded by my teenage cronies, all of a sudden that cast arachnids into a whole new, super creepy, childhood trauma kind of light. And I have never been the same. There was an occasion when I was living in that same basement, albeit a different room, after I graduated from college and came home late and night to find a massive spider on the bedroom wall. The beast was huge! And I knew there was absolutely no way that I was taking my eyes off that thing to let it crawl who knows where until I fell asleep and left my ears available to occupy. No. Freaking. Way. But I also knew that if I crushed it with one of my shoes, I would never be able to wear that shoe again without some serious heebie jeebies coming into play. And so, what did I do? I scampered across the hall, grabbed one of Rachael’s super chunky shoes, and killed that spider dead. The thing was so big that I heard it pop when I smashed it. [insert full body shudder here] It was seriously disgusting. 

Now that I’ve laid bare the origins of my very own arachnophobia (I think it’s kind of ironic that the name of the movie ended up being one of my actual fears), let me tell you what happened today. I was having a massage and as usual, the room was dim and quiet, very relaxing, very peaceful. Then all of a sudden, my massage therapist freaked out. She jerked and began cussing and while I was face down and couldn’t actually see her, I could sense her shudders and revulsion. She then proceeded to tell me that a spider had just dropped down from the ceiling onto my back. Which was sans clothing since I was in the middle of a massage. And what did I do? I calmly laid there and didn’t even freak out while she grabbed some tissues and killed that creepy bugger. Luckily for me, it was small enough that I couldn’t feel it crawling around. Because if I had, there would be absolutely no way that I could have held onto my calm demeanor. Even as I type this, all the hair on my arms is standing up and I’m wondering how in the world I managed to avoid screaming at her to, “Get it off me, get it off me, get it off me!” But at the time I was cool as a cucumber. And that’s what counts, right? 

So today, I feel like I accomplished a great feat. I faced…sort of…a spider and came out the champion. I wasn’t the one who actually killed it, but neither did I panic because it had a straight shot from my naked back to my exposed ear. 

As a conclusion to this peek into my disturbed psyche, I didn’t tell Rachael about the shoe until about ten years later. We were both married and had little kids by then and to her credit, she just laughed and asked which shoe I used. That’s one pretty amazing sister. 😂

Pretend Pyrotechnics

An excessively mild winter followed by even less precipitation than normal and scorching temperatures over the past weeks means that the risk of wildfires is even greater than normal this year. With that in mind, the governor has banned fireworks for this holiday season so that we don’t set the entire state on fire. So in lieu of real fireworks, we created a zero-risk alternative right here at home. While the pancake version might not be as awe inspiring, they were definitely tasty! And there was no risk of flames getting out of control.😉

Forecast

According to Matthew, this is the predicted weather in his mission field.

Apparently, it is pretty hot. 😜

Small World

This past week was the transition between mission presidents in Matthew’s mission. Matthew has been a bit anxious about the change as initially his entire mission would be spent with Pres. H and there was a lot of trust and love there. But now that Matthew has met Pres. M, he is at his ease with a new mission president who he describes as funny and happy and loving. When they met, Matthew immediately asked for a picture with him. Why, you might ask? Because last week, he got an email from Ally, his best friend, who is currently in the MTC. Apparently, Pres. M taught her class in the MTC and knowing that he was heading to Arkansas as Matthew’s new mission president, she had to take a picture with him and send it off to Matthew. President was pleasantly surprised by the connection and was more than happy to comply with the request.

Matthew’s second small world moment this week also involved Ally. Aliese, Cory’s youngest daughter, was in the MTC prior to heading to the Texas Fort Worth Mission, which coincidentally is the same mission in which Nathan served. Ally found her while they were both in the MTC and again, sent Matthew a picture.

So, it has been a small world week for Matthew. And sometimes I think those moments make him feel just a little bit closer to the friends and family he loves, even though they are far away.

She Ate America

The 4th of July is on Saturday, so this week feels red, white and blue all over. Kevin decided that he wants homemade ice cream for the actual holiday, and I was quick to comply because not only has it been a long time since we’ve made ice cream, but right now we can use actual dairy products! But the ice cream won’t be in patriotic colors, and I found that I was feeling a bit deprived by the lack of food coloring. So today I whipped up a batch of spritz cookies and made good use of said food coloring to make some patriotic cookies. 

But there was a learning curve to making tri-colored spritz cookies. The dough obviously needs to be soft enough to work in a cookie press, but when it was freshly mixed, it was so soft that the colors mushed all together and I ended up with a purplish tie dye effect, which was not what I was aiming for. Being a fairly experienced cookie baker, I chilled the dough and then shaped it into logs which yielded better results in that the tie die was now red, white and blue. I was happier with that but thought if I popped the dough in the freezer for a few minutes, I could get more clearly defined colors. While that approach worked, the dough was too stiff to actually come out of the press, so I ended up needing to wait about half an hour for the dough to warm back up to room temperature.

The end results were rather surprising for me. The very first purplish cookies were my least favorite because as lovely a color as it is, purple just doesn’t evoke patriotic thoughts. The last cookies with the clearly defined areas of red, white and blue were next in line going from least to most preferred. I thought I would like those the most and was somewhat surprised that I didn’t. My favorite cookies were the ones created in the middle of this adventure, the ones with three distinct American colors in a variety of tie dyed and speckled forms. 

As for Malia, she got to lick four beaters and scrape out three cookie dough bowls, so she was a happy camper. She says that she ate America.

Benefits

While she generally dislikes being the lone wolf cub left in the den, Malia has discovered that there are perks. Like the fact that she doesn’t have to fight Nathan over who will get to eat the last of the fruit salad right out of the serving bowl. 

Let Him Eat Cake! (And Frosting)

When Matthew was first diagnosed with a plethora of food allergies and I hit the internet to try to gather some tips on how to deal with the new situation in which I found myself, I discovered that there were many food allergy kids who had never had a birthday cake. They had Jell-o every year or Rice Krispy treats stacked up in a tower or whatever else their moms could come up with. And for me, someone whose mom made sure I celebrated each birthday with a cake in whatever flavor and shape I wanted, it seemed like the saddest thing ever. I decided right then that my child would not be so deprived. Milk and egg allergies be d****d, I was going to learn how to make a birthday cake for my kid. (Yes, I almost swore just now. It is a mark of just how vehement my feelings are on this particular topic.) And so, in tandem with learning how to cook nourishing and kid friendly meals without all the offending ingredients, I set to work learning how to bake an allergen free cake.

I remember that Nathan’s birthday was just a couple of months away, and there were many trial runs as I tried a variety of different approaches to the cake conundrum so that Matthew could celebrate with his big brother. Allergen free substitutes like commercial egg replacers were far fewer in number and much harder to find back then, so there really was a whole lot of experimentation. Many people told me it couldn’t be done. In fact, lots of people told me you could make cupcakes but not a bigger cake because the batter was just not stable enough without eggs. Skeptics be d****d, I was determined to make it work. And eventually, I did. It took time and there were some colossal fails along the way, but out of sheer determination and a refusal to accept that my son would not have cake on his second birthday, I managed to find success. Let me say that it is definitely harder without eggs. It’s just the nature of the chemistry of cake. But it can be done. And Matthew had the cake to prove it. 

With that tidbit of backstory, you will understand that as I’ve faced my most recent margarine conundrum, being able to make frosting is high up on my list. Because let’s face it. That Kermit cake would lose a little something without the frosting. So yesterday I made a tiny test cake (egg free using the homemade margarine) and frosting using my normal recipe (also with the homemade margarine) to see if it would work. And the end result was ok. Not fabulous, but definitely passable. And with some time to get used to the differences, I think it will work just fine.

The texture was a bit weird, which was initially rather off-putting. Rather than being fluffy or creamy, the frosting was sticky. That stickiness made it hard to smooth out, but when I ran my offset spatula in hot water and then dried it, that little bit of residual heat smoothed the frosting out beautifully. I didn’t take a lot of time to make it pretty, but that lower melting point of the coconut oil did make the frosting respond well to a bit of heat. Due to that lower melting point, I was concerned that the frosting would not be stiff enough to create a dam for filling, but that was not an issue. The frosting provided plenty of structure. I was also concerned that the stickiness would be unpleasant on the tongue, but surprisingly, it was not. Yes, it was definitely a bit different, but the flavor was fine and the difference in texture was negligible when paired with the cake. The frosting did develop an oily sheen on the surface when left on the counter in a container overnight, so storing in the fridge and letting the cake come to room temperature before serving would probably be the way to go. I didn’t try piping the frosting, but based on my experience creating the filling dam, I suspect it will work just fine. Unlike my usual buttercream, it was spreadable right out of the fridge today, although it would likely need a few minutes at room temperature to make it soft enough to frost a cake.

Overall, I’m calling this a success. While the texture is slightly different, so is the texture of an egg-free cake. And it’s not a deal breaker. As with the cake, I suspect that some time spent working with this rendition of frosting will help me figure out all its little idiosyncrasies and learn how to make it work for me. And realistically, I will likely search out a few different recipes and extend the experimentation. Because anyone who knows me well knows that’s what I do any time I’m not 100% pleased with the end results of a food endeavor. The whole try, try again mantra is pretty well ingrained in my psyche.

So, with cookies, cake, frosting, yeast bread, and pie crust successfully tested, I feel like this homemade margarine really might be a workable option. It also melts nicely on the griddle when making pancakes and such. It has its caveats, of course, like the fact that it doesn’t last as long in the fridge due to the lack of staggering amounts of preservatives, but I can work with that. I just store it in the freezer until I’m ready to use it. Making the margarine is a bit finicky and definitely more work than just driving to the store, but we do what we have to do, right? I’m figuring out all the best tips and tricks and what not to do’s to get the most consistent results possible. And over time, like all our other allergy adjustments, it will become a normal routine. Not that I won’t continue to keep looking for an option that we can buy, but at least we have a solution to the butter dilemma.

RIP Nucoa. You will be missed.

She Put on Her Big Girl Pants

Malia hauled out her courage and decided to go to girl’s camp this year. She hasn’t been since the boundary change brought us to a new ward, and this decision was a bit of a hard one for her. She does know more of the girls now and has some friends in the ward and that definitely helped. We also have a different young women presidency, and that helped too. Most of the presidency is made up of ladies we knew from the previous ward, so they know Malia and know about her food deal and are people that Malia trusts. So, we got the menu in advance, prepped her meals, coordinated with the leaders, and sent her out the door.

Malia was reluctant to go when it came right down to it, but she ended up having a great time. Her favorite activity was archery, and one of her least favorite was the water cannon, although there is a caveat for that one. She had not intended to get wet and was hauled out by some of the leaders but in the end, she laughed and had fun. There was a coordinated effort to heat her meals as needed and a consensus that her food looked better than theirs. One of the leaders, whom we all love to death, reported, “So proud of this girl! She laughed. She did hard things! She had fun.”

I’m so proud of Malia for being willing to go. I know this was a difficult decision for her, and I’m so very glad that she decided to take a leap of faith.

A Couple of Felons

As I’ve mentioned multiple times in the past, Malia does not like being the only child left at home. She misses her brothers. So, when there are opportunities for her to spend time with them, she is quick to jump on whatever band wagon presents itself. Nathan has been home for a few days since he has been doing some interpretation work downtown Thursday, Friday, this morning and again tomorrow and the drive from here to downtown is shorter than the drive from Logan to downtown. He had no plans this afternoon though, and as such, he was ready and willing to participate in an activity with his little sister. The activity they settled on was spending an hour at a local escape room. It is something they have both done before, although with different people, and it seemed like a good way to spend an afternoon. They are both smart kids and something that engaged their noggins seemed like just the right thing today. They selected a jail break themed puzzle and successfully completed all the challenges, so I can now claim that two of my children have escaped from prison. 😂

I’m incredibly grateful that my boys are willing to set aside time for Malia. She loves it.

Today’s Life Lesson

It’s not ideal to discover that the church has changed the words to a song while you are singing the wrong words and leading the music in a live meeting. How would I know that? Because that is what happened to me this morning at my nephew Sam’s baptism. 😂

Note to self: double check lyrics on old favorites when they appear in the new hymnbook.

Sing Hallelujah!

This morning the first message I got from my jazz music deprived missionary was a screenshot of a song that played on Gospel Stream. It would seem that Harry Connick Jr. made the cut with one of the songs from his album “Alone with my Faith.” And it made Matthew’s day! He made his companion sit in the car with him until the song was finished. 😉