Self-Improving Quote of the Day

  • "Love is making space in your life for someone else."--Niell F. Marriott

Thursday, June 25, 2026

Let Him Eat Cake! (And Frosting)

When Matthew was first diagnosed with a plethora of food allergies and I hit the internet to try to gather some tips on how to deal with the new situation in which I found myself, I discovered that there were many food allergy kids who had never had a birthday cake. They had Jell-o every year or Rice Krispy treats stacked up in a tower or whatever else their moms could come up with. And for me, someone whose mom made sure I celebrated each birthday with a cake in whatever flavor and shape I wanted, it seemed like the saddest thing ever. I decided right then that my child would not be so deprived. Milk and egg allergies be d****d, I was going to learn how to make a birthday cake for my kid. (Yes, I almost swore just now. It is a mark of just how vehement my feelings are on this particular topic.) And so, in tandem with learning how to cook nourishing and kid friendly meals without all the offending ingredients, I set to work learning how to bake an allergen free cake.

I remember that Nathan’s birthday was just a couple of months away, and there were many trial runs as I tried a variety of different approaches to the cake conundrum so that Matthew could celebrate with his big brother. Allergen free substitutes like commercial egg replacers were far fewer in number and much harder to find back then, so there really was a whole lot of experimentation. Many people told me it couldn’t be done. In fact, lots of people told me you could make cupcakes but not a bigger cake because the batter was just not stable enough without eggs. Skeptics be d****d, I was determined to make it work. And eventually, I did. It took time and there were some colossal fails along the way, but out of sheer determination and a refusal to accept that my son would not have cake on his second birthday, I managed to find success. Let me say that it is definitely harder without eggs. It’s just the nature of the chemistry of cake. But it can be done. And Matthew had the cake to prove it. 


With that tidbit of backstory, you will understand that as I’ve faced my most recent margarine conundrum, being able to make frosting is high up on my list. Because let’s face it. That Kermit cake would lose a little something without the frosting. So yesterday I made a tiny test cake (egg free using the homemade margarine) and frosting using my normal recipe (also with the homemade margarine) to see if it would work. And the end result was ok. Not fabulous, but definitely passable. And with some time to get used to the differences, I think it will work just fine.

The texture was a bit weird, which was initially rather off-putting. Rather than being fluffy or creamy, the frosting was sticky. That stickiness made it hard to smooth out, but when I ran my offset spatula in hot water and then dried it, that little bit of residual heat smoothed the frosting out beautifully. I didn’t take a lot of time to make it pretty, but that lower melting point of the coconut oil did make the frosting respond well to a bit of heat. Due to that lower melting point, I was concerned that the frosting would not be stiff enough to create a dam for filling, but that was not an issue. The frosting provided plenty of structure. I was also concerned that the stickiness would be unpleasant on the tongue, but surprisingly, it was not. Yes, it was definitely a bit different, but the flavor was fine and the difference in texture was negligible when paired with the cake. The frosting did develop an oily sheen on the surface when left on the counter in a container overnight, so storing in the fridge and letting the cake come to room temperature before serving would probably be the way to go. I didn’t try piping the frosting, but based on my experience creating the filling dam, I suspect it will work just fine. Unlike my usual buttercream, it was spreadable right out of the fridge today, although it would likely need a few minutes at room temperature to make it soft enough to frost a cake.

Overall, I’m calling this a success. While the texture is slightly different, so is the texture of an egg-free cake. And it’s not a deal breaker. As with the cake, I suspect that some time spent working with this rendition of frosting will help me figure out all its little idiosyncrasies and learn how to make it work for me. And realistically, I will likely search out a few different recipes and extend the experimentation. Because anyone who knows me well knows that’s what I do any time I’m not 100% pleased with the end results of a food endeavor. The whole try, try again mantra is pretty well ingrained in my psyche.

So, with cookies, cake, frosting, yeast bread, and pie crust successfully tested, I feel like this homemade margarine really might be a workable option. It also melts nicely on the griddle when making pancakes and such. It has its caveats, of course, like the fact that it doesn’t last as long in the fridge due to the lack of staggering amounts of preservatives, but I can work with that. I just store it in the freezer until I’m ready to use it. Making the margarine is a bit finicky and definitely more work than just driving to the store, but we do what we have to do, right? I’m figuring out all the best tips and tricks and what not to do’s to get the most consistent results possible. And over time, like all our other allergy adjustments, it will become a normal routine. Not that I won’t continue to keep looking for an option that we can buy, but at least we have a solution to the butter dilemma.

RIP Nucoa. You will be missed.





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