Countdown to the Big Day

I had a rough day yesterday. I think it is because with Daniel’s (non)farewell scheduled for today, the thought that he is really leaving really soon became really real really fast. He’s my oldest child and I’ve never done this before, so in general I have no idea how I’m going to react to things. Yesterday, things felt enormously overwhelming and that kind of took me by surprise. I mean, I’m a mean plan in advancer, the last of the food was prepped and the last of the shopping was done several days ago. Family and friends were all notified, tables and chairs borrowed, the house was cleaned…as far as things that can be checked off a list, I was good to go. But I think the mama in me got the best of me and I had to take a minute to cry out some emotions.

Today is better, probably because I’ve actually admitted to myself that we are now counting down days instead of weeks or months and because we had a multitude of family and friends show up to give Daniel, and all the rest of us, their support. Daniel has been very blessed in that he has a solid group of friends that he has known since elementary school. There have been additions along the way and the importance of one friend over another has shifted from time to time, but he has always had someone he could talk to and on whom he can rely. And we have amazingly supportive families, both Kevin’s and mine. They are always here for us and our kids and I’m more grateful than I can express to know that they have our backs. My kids count their cousins amongst their friends and don’t just hang out with them because they are related. They genuinely enjoy being together. Our house was full to overflowing with well-wishers and it reminded me of just how blessed my family and I are to have such an extensive support system.

The topic Daniel was asked to speak about in sacrament meeting was “using the Book of Mormon to convert myself and others.” He chose to lean a bit more toward the process of conversion and how the Book of Mormon is only a part of that process. The three points he covered were 1) the Book of Mormon teaches plain and simple truths in simple, easy to understand language, 2) the Spirit is who actually testifies of truth, and 3) we all have agency and conversion is a choice that every person must make for themselves. Kevin and I were both impressed with his depth of understanding. So often we hear stories about how missionaries have converted people, but in reality, the missionaries teach, the Spirit testifies, and then each person chooses whether or not to accept and live by the principles they have been taught. I had quite a few people comment on how great this talk was.

Although I felt a bit watery eyed from time to time today, I didn’t have an actual emotional breakdown. I fully expect there to be at least a couple breakdowns in the next ten days, but for today I’m doing ok. Daniel’s going to be fine and I am confident that he can feed himself, keep his clothes clean, and won’t actually die of the plague. Once all our visitors left, he shared with us the scripture he has selected to go on his missionary plaque. “Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them.” (Alma 57:21)

Dang it. So much for not actually crying today. Let the bawling commence. Honestly, I feel like I won the kid lottery. I have some of the best kids there are.