Glad to be a Grad

Although there were many times when it seemed like high school would never end, Nathan’s graduation day finally arrived. Last year’s seniors were unable to have a normal graduation, so they did a graduation parade instead. The parade was such a success that they did it again this year. The parade was yesterday evening, and although he waffled back and forth, Nathan decided to participate. He wasn’t sure he would since high school has not really been a happy time for him, but ultimately, he decided he was going to participate in all the traditional events that occur at the end of the school year. I think he was glad he did. I was certainly glad. Although his high school experience was not at all what he hoped it would be, I would hate for him to have regrets later in life. So Kevin drove, and Nathan hung out the car window and grinned and I think he enjoyed himself.

We weren’t certain that they would be able to hold a traditional graduation ceremony, and in fact none of the normal venues would allow that, but since this is only the second year our high school has been open, the graduating class was small enough that they were able to hold graduation on the football field. It was enormously hot, but I think that worked in our favor as those speakers who are well known for being long winded kept their remarks short and sweet. Nathan sang with the Madrigals and because he had a solo and the choir sat in the front rows, his was the very first name called. In fact, I’m not sure everyone was even ready because we barely heard his name. But we were watching and were able to cheer him on. He got a good cheer from the other seniors, and I honestly think that caught him by surprise. He has felt alone and friendless for most of high school and those choir people who he expected to be friends with didn’t turn out to be cronies, but he has found friends in unexpected places like physics and ASL. And he is a rather high-profile person at the high school whether he realizes it or not. Faculty, staff and students alike know who he is. He has made friends with the lunch ladies (which I love because most students are not nice to the cafeteria staff) and because of his kindness to them, they have a tendency to give him perks in the form of food. 😉

Speaking of ASL, Nathan earned the Utah State Seal of Biliteracy to accompany his diploma. Let me explain what that means. The state has a program where graduating seniors who are skilled in a foreign language can test to see if they are considered literate in their second language. If they are, they earn the seal of biliteracy which is basically and endorsement on their diploma stating that they are conversant in two languages. It is not an easy test, and it is estimated that students need at least four years of foreign language instruction in order to pass. There are different levels of biliteracy as well: beginner-high, medium or low; intermediate-high, medium or low; and advanced-high, medium or low. Nathan took ASL 1 as a junior, skipped ASL 2 and took ASL 3 as a senior. After only two years, he earned the seal of biliteracy passing at an intermediate-low level. He is one of only two students from his school who earned the seal. I believe the other student passed in French. Of all his ASL classmates from both high schools he has attended, I think there was only one other who passed. Needless to say, we are very proud of him. He has picked this language up incredibly easily and has discovered that he has quite a passion for it. He has a desire to learn more and wants to be able to become involved in the deaf community. I don’t know where this skill might take him, but for now, we are all pleased as punch with his accomplishment!

After lunch, Nathan went bowling with some friends. He opted to skip the grad night party since it was held at Lagoon and 1) he hates rollercoasters and such as they give him headaches, 2) he really didn’t feel safe driving home at 1:00 in the morning and 3) there were not a ton of people he wanted to hang out with anyway. He opted to spend the night at home instead where we celebrated with some delicious chocolate orange cheesecake. Nathan told me to surprise him with the flavor, so I made a creamy orange cheesecake and topped it with a dark chocolate ganache. I made a tiny one sans chocolate for me, and both turned out delicious. And then we watched a movie. So it was a low key grad night, but one that held exactly what Nathan wanted-some time with his few friends, a reason never go to the high school again, and cheesecake. Oh, and there were presents as well. Kev and I gave him a super cool game piece organizer for one of his favorite board games, my mom made him a super cool quilt that featured a piano keyboard, and there were the super dorky graduation socks we gave him on his birthday last week so he could wear them for the big day.

Although high school was not what he hoped it would be for a multitude of reasons, I’m very proud of how Nathan soldiered through. He did his best to be positive at school and while he had to verbal vomit on a regular basis once he got home, he had a reputation for being optimistic and upbeat at school. He was the “student of dreams” for several teachers in that he was so excited and enthusiastic about the topics being taught that he literally radiated joy and was always asking for more knowledge. Not many high school math or science teachers get that kind of enthusiasm from their students. And I can vouch for that enthusiasm because Nathan would come home and draw physics diagrams or physics problems on my white board as he was telling me about what he had learned that day. 😂

While many kids are reluctant to leave high school, Nathan is most definitely ready to be done with this chapter of his life. He has already been in contact with his academic advisor at the university on multiple occasions and for a variety of different reasons, has his schedule planned out, and is looking forward to experiencing college life. He can hardly wait to get started. Now he just has to wait out the summer…

 

The Only Number that is Twice the Sum of its Digits

As of today, Nathan is a legal adult. That means he can vote, join the military and go to jail if he is extra stupid. However, he still can’t get legally drunk. Having said that, I don’t really expect him to do any of those things except vote. He’s a good kid and has a life plan that does not currently involve the military or jail time.

As has been his habit for quite a few years now, Nathan wanted a pretty low-key celebration. Kevin and I took him out to dinner without any of the other kids which meant we got to have a good discussion (one of many as he is the one of our kids that talks to us of his own free will the most frequently) over sushi at Tsunami. After dinner, we returned home where the other kids were ready to give him presents. He received a variety of card games from his siblings. Since he is headed off to USU for a semester of college before his mission, they thought it would be a good idea for him to have his own sets of some of our family favorites. Kevin’s mom gave Nathan a fantastic and very appropriate music themed wall decoration. Kev and I gave him an ASL t-shirt, half in honor of his passage into adulthood and half in honor of his recent earning of the seal of biliteracy (I’ll talk more about that later on). He also got a fun pair of socks to wear then he graduates. 

 

Nathan requested mango cheesecake for the occasion, and I was more than happy to comply. It has been a bit since I’ve created a new masterpiece and it was an opportunity to further my skills with whipped cream and cream cheese. Being the math geek genius that he is, Nathan opted to use base 18 when he put his candles on the cake. (For those of you who don’t speak hard mathematics, that means he put one candle on and called it good. 😜) The cheesecake turned out delicious except for the crust, which was very soggy. I made the cheesecake in advance and froze it, so somewhere in the defrosting process far too much liquid made its way into the crust. It’s a problem I’m going to have to research to solve. But like I said, other than the crust the cheesecake was delicious-light, creamy and full of mango flavor. 

 

Nathan is a great kid. Not only is he very smart, but he’s also very kind. Empathy is one of his spiritual gifts, one that we first became aware of when he was in preschool. He was a pretty wild toddler, not because he was naughty, but because he was curious about everything and wanted to help everyone. He started preschool when he was three and when his teacher called me over to talk with her after school one day, I was sure that he had done something…creative. Much to my surprise, she informed me that Nathan had been finishing his work and then helping the other kids at his table with their work. She was so astounded by his desire to help others at such a young age that she wanted me to know. It was completely out of the blue for me, and from that point onward, I watched my second born with new eyes.

His desire to help others and treat them with kindness has not waned with the passing years. He has such a tender heart that he feels bad about any kind of conflict or confrontation with other people. Kindness is so ingrained in him that sometimes we actually have to tell him that it’s ok to put his needs and feelings before those of his classmates. But this gift of empathy is one that I know will serve him well throughout his life once he is able to find the balance between his own emotional health and that of those around him.

Nathan is also very funny, witty and full of sarcasm. He loves big words, big math, and big music. He finds joy in crazy socks and has tempered the negativity of the pandemic with a fun face mask collection that rivals his sock collection. He is very responsible and organized and has a tendency to be a bit OCD like I am which means I can often understand how he thinks. Unfortunately, he is also a worrier like me, but at least I can understand that tendency and can try to help him deal with the anxieties. When he is happy, his joy overflows and lights up the room. Piano is his happy place and is one of the best ways for him to lift his mood when he has had a rough day. He is a hard worker and is willing to put in the effort required to achieve his goals. Overall, he is a fantastic kid, a great teenager, and an amazingly important part of our family. I’m so glad the Lord trusted me to raise this kid.

He’s with the Band

The band teacher at the high school co-teaches the vocal jazz choir with the choir teacher and through that class, he got to know Nathan and became aware of his piano prowess. The funny thing is, the band teacher taught the early morning jazz band at the middle school last year, so he actually became acquainted with Matthew first. It was one of those rare situations where Nathan was Matthew’s brother rather than the reverse. This teacher loves Matthew’s trumpet skills and is very much looking forward to having him at the high school in another year. He has been trying to convince him to join the high school marching band for a couple of years already (middle schoolers are invited to participate with the high school marching band in our district), but around here we all feel that Matthew should be fully immersed where he is so he’s waiting until he actually gets to high school. Anyway, the band teacher needed a pianist to play for the end of year band concert and he asked Nathan if he would be willing to fill that need. Nathan was glad to oblige and several good photos of him were shared after the event. Nathan really does find joy in his piano playing. And playing for the band allowed him to enjoy the music minus all the drama that has been included in his choir experiences over the past three years. It wasn’t hard for him musically, but it was a chance to help create a bit of musical magic.

 

Finding the Good

Due to COVID, a lot of normal school events were cancelled last year. And since last year was the first year our high school was open, this second year has held a lot of firsts for the school. Among those was this evening’s Principal’s Reception. The event was basically the invitation only awards ceremony for those seniors who have earned top honors in a variety of different ways during the school year. The original plan was to hold a nice dinner like our principal did at his last school, but the district wouldn’t allow that due to COVID. They did get permission to do refreshments though, and they got some fancy ones, so it was still a nice event.

Nathan was selected as the math sterling scholar earlier this year so when we received an invitation, he assumed that would be the only honor he received. However, he was completely wrong in that assumption. He actually ended up being one of the students who was called to the front most often. He was recognized for being the math sterling scholar, a student who excelled in both academics and the arts, the senior who was the top in the math department, and a student who had a 4.0 gpa as well as an ACT score 30 or higher (Nathan got a 31 on the ACT). The school gifted each one of the top award-winning students with a blanket bearing the school mascot/slash logo and when Nathan got called up for his second award that came with a blanket, they joked about there being only one blanket for student. If they had given one per award, I think Nathan might have come home with three…

It ended up being a very nice evening, one that Nathan enjoyed far more than he thought he would. Kev and I were finally able to meet his physics, math and ASL teachers and although Nathan has had a rough year (or three) in high school, the reception helped him recognize that there has been a lot of good as well. He just found the good in different places than he expected. He has loved his physics and math classes and has made some friends there. He helped create an end of year escape room activity for the statistics classes which he loved. His teachers loved it too. It’s not often that you get a student who understands the material so easily and gets so excited about it that he goes home and uses his mom’s white board to explain the newest cool thing he learned in school. He started learning ASL during his time on stage crew in middle school, but I don’t think any of us were expecting him to pick it up so quickly and to love it as much as he does. He took ASL 1 as a junior, skipped right to ASL 3 as a senior, and ended up being at the student at the top of the class. He has stood out as a positive influence and a good example in the school as a whole, something that the admin made sure to point out. Apparently, he has been optimistic and upbeat, something that the school has sorely needed this year, and people have noticed. I don’t think he had any idea how much of a difference he has made, but he has been a source of good in his sphere of influence.

So yes, this has been an extremely difficult year for him. It has held challenges that none of us could have predicted a year and a half ago. He has dealt with a lot of disappointment and discouragement along the way, as well as a good amount of frustration and stress. But he not only survived, he managed to thrive in adversity (though he may not have been aware of it) and has made a difference for those around him. And he has learned a lot both in the classroom and out. Adversity makes us stronger, and I hope that Nathan will be able to see the strength he has gained as he finishes a chapter in his life and prepares to move on to the next one.

 

So Long, Zoom!

Today we were finally able to return to in person second hour church meetings. There are still COVID restrictions in place, but at least we get to go back! While I’m so grateful that we have access to technology that has allowed us to meet virtually over the past year, I’m so glad that I don’t need to teach relief society over Zoom anymore. Let me tell you, that is a whole extra level of stress. Teaching in person is by far my preference.

Like a New Baby, it Peed All Over the Floor...

Our new dishwasher arrived with quite a story attached. Kevin is my guest blogger today. Since he is currently working from home, he was available to work with all the delivery and repair guys. And I’m really glad. I’m not sure I would have been able to remain calm and reasonable through all the rigamarole.

Our dishwasher was a trooper.  With 4 kids and a master chef for a wife, we were using it nearly daily, and in some cases a couple of times a day.  We had figured out how to load it and get things clean.  If we would only consistently do it…but that is a different story.

One day, the dishwasher door decided it was tired.  The door got really, really heavy.  I think the springs inside the door that helped it open and close smoothly broke.  The handle on the door had already broken and I had fixed it a couple of different times. Shauna and I discussed the issue and decided that it was time to hold a vigil for the dishwasher.  There were flowers and candles and some singing.  Well, while true, it was because one of those days near the end the power went out. So we started shopping for dishwashers.

Because of our experiences with trying to pick up a freezer during this pandemic, I was not hopeful to be able to get a new dishwasher with any speed.  Mentally I had decided it would be about 2 months before the new one would be able to come in.  I felt that this was going to be an aggressive timeline, but I was still hopeful.  We have had decent luck buying appliances through Lowes before, so we thought we would go there and see what they had on the floor.  We were actually able to locate a dishwasher that had what we wanted AND was in the warehouse.  Manufacturers aren’t making very many things in white right now, so we settled for stainless steel.  I could compromise there if it was in stock.  Nevertheless, I couldn’t believe our luck.  It was going to be about 7 business days to get it from the warehouse to the store.  This was great!  So much better than a 6 month wait.

We paid and marked the date that we were to get a call from Lowes to schedule the install.  The date came and went with no word from Lowes.  Uh oh, this didn’t bode well.  I called and they said that due to the heavy weather that happened that week, the delivery trucks were just running a day or 2 behind and not to worry.  So only a couple of days late, we had a date for the installer to come and put the new dishwasher in.

The day came, and the installer arrived.  He brought the new dishwasher in, pulled the old out and got the new one put back into its place of honor.  He ran a quick rinse to check that everything was looking good.  It seemed to be just fine.  He packed up and left.  We promptly filled the dishwasher with dishes and set it to running.  After a while, I noticed some water on the floor, but I assumed that I dropped it there while I was loading the machine.  I wiped it up and didn’t think anything more about it.

Until the dishwasher stopped mid-cycle and beeped.  Uh Oh…

When I opened the door to see what was going on, the top of the door was covered in water, and I noticed that there was more water on the floor.  Please no….

We tried several more things, but it became clear that the machine was leaking.  I was concerned about the computer working in the door because computers don’t really like water.  But it seemed that every time we ran it, the leak got a little worse.

So I called the installer and they came back out and took a look.  It was a different installer tech and he couldn’t see anything wrong.  He said the original installer did a couple of things a bit odd, but he touched them up and ran the dishwasher a couple of times on quick rinse without an issue.  He said that from the install standpoint, there was nothing wrong and that we would need to contact the manufacturer, which I did as soon as he left. Only they didn’t have any available appointments for a couple of days.  

So there we are without a working dishwasher and a load of dishes every day.  It gave me flashbacks to being a kid and cleaning up.  We didn’t have a dishwasher when I was a kid.  Oh well, this is the way we scrub the plates, scrub the plates, scrub the plates….

After several days of water wrinkly hands, the manufacturer’s tech came out.  He worked on it for an hour and looked at all the things.  Ran the rinse cycle.  Oh, the bitter frustration, the thing wouldn’t leak.  He had to leave and mark it up to “cannot reproduce”.  During all this Shauna told me a couple of times to put dishes in it like we have been running it.  I didn’t listen.  The tech left, I loaded the dishwasher again and set it to run.  Yep, there it is: a waterfall out of the door onto the floor.  I should have listened about the dishes.

So I call the manufacturer back and tell them to send the tech back out again.  They get it on the schedule again, but again it is 3-5 days out.  More water-logged hands.  

One night before this second visit, I look under the sink because we can no longer pull the spray head out to use it.  Guess what I find?  The hose from the dishwasher to the in-sink disposal has ripped off the disposal end because of the stress around the way they zip tied things.  Turns out the second installer who stopped by “fixed” a hose trap issue by zip tying the hose to the fixture and making the spray head unusable.  Well, that is all that was needed for the hose to rip off the disposal.

Angry at this point, I call the installer, but it is after hours so they don’t answer.  I call Lowes and talk to somebody there and they help me get a message to the installer.  The next day in the afternoon, I have the manufacturer tech coming out to test the machine again and they won’t be able to with a broken hose.  Get out here and fix it.  GGGGAAAAAAAAA!

I hang up with Lowes hoping the installer will get the message and call me back first thing in the morning so we can get the hose fixed.  I do a bad job of trying to block the hose so it won’t leak and go back to washing dishes.  Without thinking about it, I empty a large bowl full of water into the sink with the disposal.  Whoosh!  A large amount of that food filled water flows out the bad block job, all over under the sink, out on the floor, under the cabinets.  It is everywhere.  Worst of all, the water was full of food debris.  I set about cleaning everything.  I get it dried off, wiped down, soaped up, rinsed again, and do this a couple of times, hoping to stave off the pending smell of rotting food.  Eventually, I get the dishes done.

The next day the installer shows up and fixes the hose.  Says that it couldn’t have been their work that broke the hose, but they fixed it anyway, better than it was before.  They showed up at 10:30 and the manufacturer tech showed up at 2.  Again, the manufacturer tech cannot make the thing leak.  I even had it full of dishes.  Still no dice.

He once again leaves.  Just to make sure I am not crazy, we run it one more time to the same result.  It leaked.  Fed up, I called the manufacturer again and they wanted to send a different company out to look at it.  I was not going to have it.  I called Lowes back and told them I wanted to return the dishwasher because it was a defective unit and nobody could fix it.  Luckily, we were just under our 30-day purchase window for returns- by 1 day.  I tried to tell them that I wanted to exchange it but that got too confusing for the person on the other end of the phone, so I finally just told them to return it.  They scheduled somebody to come and pick up the dishwasher.

I got that ball rolling and then drove over to Lowes and bought another dishwasher, same make and model.  And yes, this one too was in the warehouse and would have to be delivered in 5-7 business days.  Oh well, I have been without a working dishwasher for a month now anyway, what’s another couple of weeks.  With the dishwasher pickup going to happen in a day or 2, we would have a blank spot under the counter for a few days, but I can deal with that.  Meanwhile, we continue to wash dishes -- a lot of dishes.

When the drivers come to pick up the defective dishwasher, they ask me if it is in the garage.  I tell them no, that it is still installed and they are supposed to take it out and take it away.  They tell me that they don’t do install/uninstall work and cannot pick it up today.  I call Lowes back and talk to yet another person and leave a message.  Someone calls me back and we walk through the entire story again.  This time, she says why don’t we leave the defective one in place for now and when the new one I just bought comes in, then they can have the installer take the defective unit out and put the newest unit in at the same time.  FINALLY, someone is making sense.

So a few days later, the new dishwasher comes in and we once again get on the installer’s schedule.  They come and swap dishwashers again, do their testing and leave.  I immediately fill the thing with dishes and set it to running.  After a full cycle, there was no water on the floor.  So I ran it again with the same result.  And one more time for good luck.

Finally, we have a working dishwasher.  I take my receipt for the first machine back to Lowes and get a refund on the first one.  It only took a month and a half of calling Lowes, the manufacturer, the installer, and the manufacturer’s tech, 2 different dishwashers, 5 different tech appointments, and a whole bunch of Palmolive but we made it.

 

And All That Jazz

Due to the C-word, I can count all of Nathan’s senior year concerts on one hand. And honestly, he wasn’t super excited about any of them. There was a plethora of reasons for his lack of enthusiasm, only a few of which were some crazy stressful social situations, not enough time to learn all the music due to school closures, and pressure about his choice to wear a mask when no one else was. This evening’s concert was the exception to that. This evening was Jazz Night, the end of year concert for the two jazz bands and the Vocal Jazz Choir, which was where Nathan fit in. And this concert, the one he has been looking forward to, almost didn’t happen.

Originally Jazz Night was supposed to be a super fancy catered dinner kind of event held at the high school. However, the ever-rising COVID numbers led to another round of cancelled events and Jazz Night was on the chopping block. The music teachers tried to move it outside to the bandstand at our newest city park, but the city gave them a hard no. With numbers on the rise, large gatherings were strictly off limits. Nathan was preparing for yet another disappointment when the news came that the concert at the bandstand had unexpectedly been given a green light. Apparently, the police officer assigned to the high school had seen how hard the kids had worked to prepare for the concert. He was also aware of how many things had been cancelled and how much the kids had lost that year. He had an extremely good rapport with the city and lobbied hard to get them to allow the concert to happen. His efforts were fruitful and although I’ve never met him and don’t even know his name, I’m so grateful for his efforts.

The band boosters did a quick about face and turned the fancy catered dinner into an outdoor event with live music, burgers and hot dogs, snow cones and other treats, and a silent auction. Honestly, it was so much more fun than a fancier event would have been. And due to the cost (the catered dinner would have been $50 per couple and the outdoor event was free with fundraising coming from the auction and all the treats and eats for sale), we were able to take the entire family. All the vocal numbers were accompanied by the advanced jazz band which was super fun for the singers. There were vocal jazz group numbers as well as a variety of solos and small ensembles featuring members of vocal jazz. Nathan participated in several ensembles and had a solo. He selected “Bei Mir Bist Du Shein,” a fantastic number. It was a crowd pleaser and earned him cheers and applause.

It was such a fun night for both audience and performers. Nathan enjoyed himself and came away with the performance high that has been lacking all year. The few other concerts he has had were so filled with stress that he didn’t get much enjoyment from them. But tonight was good for him. Vocal jazz has been his favorite choir by far this year, mostly because the music has been challenging and varied. And being able to actually perform was a boon, one that he does not take for granted. He is so grateful that this particular concert was not lost to COVID. I’m grateful too. It has been hard to watch him become increasingly more discouraged and downhearted as so many hopes for high school have been crushed by circumstances beyond his control. So one night, one magical night where the powers that be agreed to allow these kids to shine was a blessing.

 

Giddy Up!

Last Christmas we didn’t give our kids any experience gifts. It’s not that we didn’t want to, and we told them that, we just had no way of knowing what would or wouldn’t be happening this year. I’m not sure anyone knew. Nearly all the experience gifts we gave them for Christmas in 2019 ended up being cancelled and we didn’t want to make promises that we could not keep this year. However, we told them we were watching and hoping that as the year progressed, we would be able to find some fun experiences for them.

One of Malia’s experience gifts from 2019 was some horseback riding lessons. Because that is not a one-time event like some of the experiences we had planned, it was one that Kev has been trying to make happen for her as things start to open back up. He has searched the internet, made phone calls, asked everyone and anyone who might have a lead for him, and despite all that, he was not having any luck scheduling lessons. A month or so ago, my sister Patti called with a lead for us. One of her friends at work has sister who teaches horseback riding lessons at a stable in Orem. Kevin called and was miraculously able to schedule a series of lessons!

After a year and a half of waiting and searching and calling and frustration and discouragement, Malia’s first lesson was today. She was absolutely giddy! And for Kevin and I, it was a joy to be able to finally be able to fulfill one of the experiences we had promised her.