It’s Hard to Believe that He’s a Grownup

For years now, Matthew has preferred to downplay his birthday celebrations. He just doesn’t like making a big deal out of it or being at the center of attention in these kinds of situations. So even though he is now a legal adult, his birthday was a very lowkey event. Since his birthday is on a Sunday this year, Kevin picked up some entertaining balloons yesterday and we hid them away until this morning. And just for some context, turning 18 is kind of a big deal birthday and Matthew really likes pickles, so the dill balloon was funny!

Rather than a cake, Matthew requested cinnamon rolls for his birthday treat. And he wanted them giant sized, of course, because that is way more fun! We didn’t make him blow out a whole bunch of candles, but I did find one of the sparkler type candles that we used on his treat a few years back. These are the ones that have a tendency to relight themselves. Which I didn’t know last time. But this time we lit the candle with full knowledge of its powers of resurrection. SMILEY WITH TEETH Matthew is a good sport though and humored us! 

This past year has brought a lot of changes for Matthew. And this next year is going to bring a lot more changes for him. We know that. And he knows that. When he leaves, our little family at home will shrink again. And this time, I think it is going to be a much bigger adjustment for us. Going from four kids to three kids at home was a bit of a change as was going from three to two. But dwindling to only one child at home is going to take some time for Kevin, Malia and I to figure out. We have had a glimpse of that this year as Matthew’s activities have taken him away from home more and more often. But it is still going to take us some time. It can be hard for me to think of Matthew as an adult. He’s still just my high schooler. I know that whole adulting thing is going to kick in pretty quick here, but for now, I think I’m just going to take advantage of these last few months that he will be just one of my teenagers. There’s no need to rush that whole growing up bit. The world will take care of that in due time.

The Only Number that is Twice the Sum of its Digits

As of today, Nathan is a legal adult. That means he can vote, join the military and go to jail if he is extra stupid. However, he still can’t get legally drunk. Having said that, I don’t really expect him to do any of those things except vote. He’s a good kid and has a life plan that does not currently involve the military or jail time.

As has been his habit for quite a few years now, Nathan wanted a pretty low-key celebration. Kevin and I took him out to dinner without any of the other kids which meant we got to have a good discussion (one of many as he is the one of our kids that talks to us of his own free will the most frequently) over sushi at Tsunami. After dinner, we returned home where the other kids were ready to give him presents. He received a variety of card games from his siblings. Since he is headed off to USU for a semester of college before his mission, they thought it would be a good idea for him to have his own sets of some of our family favorites. Kevin’s mom gave Nathan a fantastic and very appropriate music themed wall decoration. Kev and I gave him an ASL t-shirt, half in honor of his passage into adulthood and half in honor of his recent earning of the seal of biliteracy (I’ll talk more about that later on). He also got a fun pair of socks to wear then he graduates. 

 

Nathan requested mango cheesecake for the occasion, and I was more than happy to comply. It has been a bit since I’ve created a new masterpiece and it was an opportunity to further my skills with whipped cream and cream cheese. Being the math geek genius that he is, Nathan opted to use base 18 when he put his candles on the cake. (For those of you who don’t speak hard mathematics, that means he put one candle on and called it good. 😜) The cheesecake turned out delicious except for the crust, which was very soggy. I made the cheesecake in advance and froze it, so somewhere in the defrosting process far too much liquid made its way into the crust. It’s a problem I’m going to have to research to solve. But like I said, other than the crust the cheesecake was delicious-light, creamy and full of mango flavor. 

 

Nathan is a great kid. Not only is he very smart, but he’s also very kind. Empathy is one of his spiritual gifts, one that we first became aware of when he was in preschool. He was a pretty wild toddler, not because he was naughty, but because he was curious about everything and wanted to help everyone. He started preschool when he was three and when his teacher called me over to talk with her after school one day, I was sure that he had done something…creative. Much to my surprise, she informed me that Nathan had been finishing his work and then helping the other kids at his table with their work. She was so astounded by his desire to help others at such a young age that she wanted me to know. It was completely out of the blue for me, and from that point onward, I watched my second born with new eyes.

His desire to help others and treat them with kindness has not waned with the passing years. He has such a tender heart that he feels bad about any kind of conflict or confrontation with other people. Kindness is so ingrained in him that sometimes we actually have to tell him that it’s ok to put his needs and feelings before those of his classmates. But this gift of empathy is one that I know will serve him well throughout his life once he is able to find the balance between his own emotional health and that of those around him.

Nathan is also very funny, witty and full of sarcasm. He loves big words, big math, and big music. He finds joy in crazy socks and has tempered the negativity of the pandemic with a fun face mask collection that rivals his sock collection. He is very responsible and organized and has a tendency to be a bit OCD like I am which means I can often understand how he thinks. Unfortunately, he is also a worrier like me, but at least I can understand that tendency and can try to help him deal with the anxieties. When he is happy, his joy overflows and lights up the room. Piano is his happy place and is one of the best ways for him to lift his mood when he has had a rough day. He is a hard worker and is willing to put in the effort required to achieve his goals. Overall, he is a fantastic kid, a great teenager, and an amazingly important part of our family. I’m so glad the Lord trusted me to raise this kid.

Legal Adult

As of last Monday, I am the parent of a legal adult. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, inside my brain I still feel the same way I did at twenty-five (although I would hope I’m wiser now that I was then). So how can I have a child that old? Nevertheless, it’s a fact. Daniel has hit eighteen. Last week Monday, I got the first of what will probably be quite a few notifications that I can no longer manage his healthcare information without his consent. He gave his consent, of course, but from here on out, there will be a lot to learn for him as well as for Kevin and I. Our goal as parents has always been to raise capable, self-sufficient human beings and in the next couple of years, we’ll see if we have successfully attained that goal. If nothing else, I’m pretty sure Daniel wouldn’t starve to death or die of the plague, so here’s hoping. 😉

With age comes ease in planning a birthday party and for Daniel’s shindig this year, all I had to do was provide food. I bought pizza and ice cream, talked Daniel through making brownies, then made new brownies when we realized this is one of the few recipes I’ve encountered that totally bombs when made with egg replacer and that some serious cooking chemistry needed to happen (my subsequent experiment in egg-free brownies turned out pretty well). He took care of everything else, even most of the clean-up.

We sang to him at my parents’ house last Sunday and even that was nearly prep free. He felt no need to have a fancy decorated cake and chose one based on flavor-the Swedish swirl cake has been one of his favorites for years.

I’m very grateful that our experimental child (Isn’t the first one always the guinea pig?) is turning out so well. He has learned, and is still learning, many skills that he will need as he steps out into the world on his own. He is beginning to make plans for the future and has, in fact, already been accepted to and received an academic scholarship for his first-choice university. He has worked hard in school and that is paying off for him now. I’m equal parts excited and anxious about what the next few years will bring for Daniel. He is also equal parts excited and anxious, as well he should be. This marks the beginning of a season of change for all of us and hopefully he will still want to counsel with and include us in his future life plans. Ready or not, here comes adulthood.