Dear Mr. Bill Cosby . . .

Anyone who knows anything about Bill Cosby knows that he is a funny man.  Most people know that he is also a family man.  Way back before the “The Cosby Show” made him a weekly presence in households across America, he used elements of his family life in his stand up routines to great comedic effect.  Listening to these routines was a regular occurrence in my home while I was growing up (I learned the word “conniption” from Bill Cosby and it is a word that I have used often in my lifetime.) and I thought they were funny because I couldn’t imagine any child ever being as completely idiotic as he made his out to be.  Fast forward twenty years and I still listen to those routines but now I realize that they are funny because he was right.  Bill Cosby was right about everything.  If you throw in the nightly sniff check to make sure they did in fact use soap, “The Same Thing Happens Every Night” is pretty much a documentary of what evenings are like at my house.  I kid you not.  Well, maybe not the beatings, but the rest is pretty accurate.  In spite of how smart my children are, there are moments when I really have to stop and call them idiot children under my breath.

Today I got to use one of Bill Cosby’s great lines in my real life during an actual conversation with one of my children.  When Kev got home from work, he noticed that Nathan’s hair was looking weird.  I had not noticed this because Nathan is getting tall enough that unless I am standing right by him and intentionally looking right at the top of his head, I have a tendency to get more of a side view of his hair.  Kev looked closer and realized that there was a spot right up on the top in the middle where the hair was much shorter than the hair on the rest of his head.  The conversation that followed went something like this:

Kevin: “When did you cut your hair?”

Nathan: “I don’t know.”

Kevin: “No, really.  When did you cut your hair?”

Nathan: “I don’t know.”

At this point, I just could not resist and threw in a Cosby-ism:

Me: “Was your head with you all day today?”

Kev and I both snickered.  Nathan, not so much.  After a few more minutes of questioning we got him to admit that last week he was scratching his head while holding a pair of scissors.  We spent five more minutes asking why in the world he was scratching his head while holding a pair of scissors in the same hand.  His response, of course, “I don’t know.”  After that we just gave it up and figured his next haircut will be a buzz to even everything out.

So if you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing Bill Cosby’s take on life with children, take a few minutes to listen.  I promise you it will be time well spent.  And you just might pick up a line or two to use with your own offspring.

"The Same Thing Happens Every Night"
"Kill the Boy"

A Random Conversation

Matthew: "PU!"
Nathan: "What's pee-yew?"
Matthew: "Like E.F."

A Soapbox Moment

I have a few allergy-friendly websites I visit from time to time for new recipes and such and tonight I happened across an article that made me tear up a little.  This is exactly what Matthew's life is like and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't.  So for those of you who come in contact with Matthew or any other food allergy kids, take a minute to read it.  It just might give you an idea of what life is like for them.  (I know I don't get on my soapbox about this too often, but once in a while it just can't be helped.  Matthew went to two birthday parties last week and both moms, who are friends of mine, were rock stars in the "include Matthew and make him feel as normal as possible" category.  Knowing a bit of what life is like for him is what makes that possible.)

10 Things Children with Food Allergies Want You to Know By Gina Clowes

1. I long to be included.  I would like to look, act and eat like everyone else.  I’d like to buy my lunch and sit wherever I want.  I know I can’t, but I am so happy inside when someone cares enough to provide a safe potato chip, cookie or Popsicle for me.  It’s nice when I can have something similar to what others are eating but I love it when I can eat the same thing as everyone else.   Whenever it’s possible, please think to include me!
2. I’m scared I could die from my food allergies.  I’ve heard my parents and teachers mention “life-threatening” food allergies and I remember having some reactions where I felt very sick and really scared.  I could see how frightened my parents were too.  Sometimes, I could use a little reassurance that I will be okay.
3. I feel like I’m the only one sometimes.  If you have a support group or another way to arrange for me to meet other children who have food allergies, I would really like to know that I am not the only kid who has food allergies. Having another friend with food allergies in my classroom or at lunch time helps too.
4. I get confused when grown-ups offer me food.  I know I’m supposed to be polite and listen to grown-ups, but my parents have told me I am only supposed to take food from them. When you offer me food or especially candy, I’d like to take it but I’m not sure about what I am supposed to do.
5. I get itchy spots sometimes when grown-ups kiss me after they’ve eaten something I’m allergic to.  I get itchy spots when your dog licks me too. I’m not quite brave enough to tell you this so I’m hoping you will remember that if you have just eaten something that I’m allergic to, I may get hives  if you kiss me soon afterward.
6. I’m embarrassed when people fuss over what I’m eating.  I  know I have to eat my own safe food, but it’s easier for me when I’m not singled out.  Sometimes, it’s embarrassing when grown-ups ask lots of questions.  I love to fit in more than anything.
7. I hear all adult conversations about my food allergies.  My ears perk up when I hear grown-ups mention my name or food allergies, so don’t pity me or act terrified because then I get scared.  Food allergies are just one part of me. Let me overhear you talk about all the other wonderful things about me!
8.Sometimes I’m sad about having food allergies. It’s hard to be the only kid in class not having a cupcake and eating something different from my box of “safe treats” especially when there are about 20 other birthdays in my class.   I know it’s not the end of the world, but from my perspective, it’s tough at times.
9. I’m watching you—Mom and Dad!  You may think that I’m too little to notice, but I see that you went back home to get my Epi-Pen® when you forgot it.  I see that you read the ingredients on the Smarties every time. You are my role models and I am learning how to manage my food allergies from you!
10. I will do about as well as you do.   My parents “can-do” attitude will help me cope with the challenges of living with allergies and ensure that food allergies don’t stop me from being everything I was meant to be!


I've had mothers of Matthew's preschool friends send Oreos as a birthday treat just because they know they are safe for Matthew.  Last week I had a mom grab me as I was headed home after dropping Matthew off so that I could read the label of the popsicles she had brought for her son's birthday treat to make sure Matthew could have one.  Matthew is young enough that these things may not mean a lot to him yet, but they mean the world to me.  So for all those in my life (and especially my family) who go out of their way to include Matthew and make food safe for him, thank you.  It makes our world a little easier (and happier) to live in.

She’s Electric!

My feet are perpetually cold.  Especially in the winter.  So I’m a house slipper kind of a gal.  But over the years, I’ve discovered that my feet are not as tough as they used to be and if I wear unsupportive shoes too often my feet hurt.  So when my last slippers started giving me achy feet the morning after I wore the them, I decided it was time to just suck it up and spend more than $10 on some house slippers.  Enter my Skechers house slippers:  warm, fuzzy, and supportive all at the same time.

Technically they aren’t marketed as house slippers, but they are perfect to be used as such.

The only problem with the slippers is that when I wear them I have to tendency to build up more static electricity and I end up shocking myself a lot.  Most of the time this is just a minor inconvenience.  But last night when I pushed the button to eject a DVD from the player, I got zapped so hard that it hurt.  I might have even said, “Holy crap!” or something like it.  And then when I tried to put the DVD tray back in, it wouldn’t budge.  The power button wouldn’t work either.  Kev unplugged the machine to reset it but to no avail.  Apparently my electric slippers and I zapped the brains right out of our DVD player.  It will power up when plugged in, but that is about it.

Sigh.  Sometimes the weirdest things happen to me.

He's Growing Up Way Too Fast . . .

Daniel spoke in Stake Conference this morning.  Yup.  You heard me right.  My ten year old spoke in stake conference.  You know those moments that remind you that in spite of all the grief they give you, you have a pretty great kid?  This was one of those moments.

Apparently the Stake Presidency realizes that Stake Conference is long and boring for the kids.  They wanted to be able to draw their attention to the meeting, at least for awhile, so in the second hour there was a small primary choir and two primary speakers. When asked for a recommendation for a speaker, our primary presidency thought of Daniel.  Not only was it Stake Conference, but our stake is so large that in addition to meeting in the Stake Center, the meeting is broadcast to two other buildings.  That is a lot of pressure for an adult, let alone a ten year old.  Daniel was nervous, but not overly nervous, and I think he did a great job. 

Hip Hip Hurray! Matthew’s Had A Birthday!

When I asked Matthew what he wanted on his birthday cake this year, he told me he wanted Buzz, Woody, and Evil Dr. Porkchop.  There was no way I was going to attempt to make those particular characters out of frosting or fondant (I may enjoy making fun cakes, but there is a limit to what I’ll attempt) so I shopped around and found the pint-size action figure versions of each one.  Throw in a few army men and some brightly colored frosting and voila!  A Toy Story birthday cake!  He was thrilled.

There were cupcakes and presents at home on his actual b-day.  Toy Story is his thing right now and he got Buzz, Woody, and Hamm (although Matthew always calls him Evil Dr. Porkchop) for Christmas, so he was super excited to get Rex for his birthday.

He also got a Toy Story t-shirt but was super bummed that it is still way too big for him (there are only so many sizes to choose from when Mom gets presents by purchasing cold cereal).

After Christmas I picked up a game featuring Bullseye on clearance and Matthew was really excited about that as well. 

The day after his birthday he got to share a poster and a treat with his friends at preschool.  Throw in a Valentine’s party and he had a very busy week!

So he (and I) survived three.  Four, here we come!

All The Kids In His Class Want One!

For the last four or five months, Daniel has been really into origami.  I'm not sure why it appeals to him so much, but he really enjoys it and any unused little scraps of paper lying around the house are destined to be folded and creased into something magnificent.  He checks origami books out from the library on the regular basis and some books and paper donated to him from his Aunt Connie have definitely been put to good use.  He has an entire basketful of origami creations to prove it.

Today he brought this itty bitty dragon home from school:

I was astonished.  Apparently all the kids in his class want a dragon.  And since his teacher assures me that he only does things like this when his work is done, I figure it's all good.

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