A Soapbox Moment

I have a few allergy-friendly websites I visit from time to time for new recipes and such and tonight I happened across an article that made me tear up a little.  This is exactly what Matthew's life is like and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't.  So for those of you who come in contact with Matthew or any other food allergy kids, take a minute to read it.  It just might give you an idea of what life is like for them.  (I know I don't get on my soapbox about this too often, but once in a while it just can't be helped.  Matthew went to two birthday parties last week and both moms, who are friends of mine, were rock stars in the "include Matthew and make him feel as normal as possible" category.  Knowing a bit of what life is like for him is what makes that possible.)

10 Things Children with Food Allergies Want You to Know By Gina Clowes

1. I long to be included.  I would like to look, act and eat like everyone else.  I’d like to buy my lunch and sit wherever I want.  I know I can’t, but I am so happy inside when someone cares enough to provide a safe potato chip, cookie or Popsicle for me.  It’s nice when I can have something similar to what others are eating but I love it when I can eat the same thing as everyone else.   Whenever it’s possible, please think to include me!
2. I’m scared I could die from my food allergies.  I’ve heard my parents and teachers mention “life-threatening” food allergies and I remember having some reactions where I felt very sick and really scared.  I could see how frightened my parents were too.  Sometimes, I could use a little reassurance that I will be okay.
3. I feel like I’m the only one sometimes.  If you have a support group or another way to arrange for me to meet other children who have food allergies, I would really like to know that I am not the only kid who has food allergies. Having another friend with food allergies in my classroom or at lunch time helps too.
4. I get confused when grown-ups offer me food.  I know I’m supposed to be polite and listen to grown-ups, but my parents have told me I am only supposed to take food from them. When you offer me food or especially candy, I’d like to take it but I’m not sure about what I am supposed to do.
5. I get itchy spots sometimes when grown-ups kiss me after they’ve eaten something I’m allergic to.  I get itchy spots when your dog licks me too. I’m not quite brave enough to tell you this so I’m hoping you will remember that if you have just eaten something that I’m allergic to, I may get hives  if you kiss me soon afterward.
6. I’m embarrassed when people fuss over what I’m eating.  I  know I have to eat my own safe food, but it’s easier for me when I’m not singled out.  Sometimes, it’s embarrassing when grown-ups ask lots of questions.  I love to fit in more than anything.
7. I hear all adult conversations about my food allergies.  My ears perk up when I hear grown-ups mention my name or food allergies, so don’t pity me or act terrified because then I get scared.  Food allergies are just one part of me. Let me overhear you talk about all the other wonderful things about me!
8.Sometimes I’m sad about having food allergies. It’s hard to be the only kid in class not having a cupcake and eating something different from my box of “safe treats” especially when there are about 20 other birthdays in my class.   I know it’s not the end of the world, but from my perspective, it’s tough at times.
9. I’m watching you—Mom and Dad!  You may think that I’m too little to notice, but I see that you went back home to get my Epi-Pen® when you forgot it.  I see that you read the ingredients on the Smarties every time. You are my role models and I am learning how to manage my food allergies from you!
10. I will do about as well as you do.   My parents “can-do” attitude will help me cope with the challenges of living with allergies and ensure that food allergies don’t stop me from being everything I was meant to be!


I've had mothers of Matthew's preschool friends send Oreos as a birthday treat just because they know they are safe for Matthew.  Last week I had a mom grab me as I was headed home after dropping Matthew off so that I could read the label of the popsicles she had brought for her son's birthday treat to make sure Matthew could have one.  Matthew is young enough that these things may not mean a lot to him yet, but they mean the world to me.  So for all those in my life (and especially my family) who go out of their way to include Matthew and make food safe for him, thank you.  It makes our world a little easier (and happier) to live in.