A
few weeks ago Matthew quit eating. He would have a couple of bites of cereal
for breakfast and a few bites of dinner, all usually under great duress. He
came home from school with his lunch box still completely full. As is normal,
after a few days of this, his appetite decreased and the problem became a
vicious cycle. He had no energy, was tired all the time and had a slightly grey
pallor to his face. He was unhappy and became overemotional at the drop of a
hat. He was yelling and screaming at everyone. It was bad enough that when I
made a doughnut for him and took it to school for his Halloween party that he
didn’t even want that. I knew something was wrong but simply could not discover
what it was. Honestly, I don’t think that Matthew even knew what was wrong. After
a couple of weeks, I was getting worried. Kev and I tried to talk to him, tried
to make him eat, but we could not figure out what was going on. We were concerned
enough that I had decided that if we could not figure out what was going on I
was going to employ the aid of other trusted adults in his life and see if they
could get any useful information out of him. Other than that, our only plan was
to pray, which we did.
A
few days after that, I was helping Matthew with his homework when all of a
sudden I realized that I was asking him a question. It was not something I had
thought about in advance, there were just words coming out of my mouth all of a
sudden that had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation we had been
having. The question was, “Do you sit with friends at lunch or by yourself?”
Right away Matthew told me that he doesn’t sit with friends but that they moved
the food allergy table at school and now a bunch of hot lunch kids come and sit
by him. Because I know him so well, I knew immediately that this was the root
of the problem. Food is a scary thing to Matthew because of all his allergies
and being surrounded by kids who are eating stuff he knows he is allergic to is
a source of great stress. So I reminded him that as long as he doesn’t eat
their food he will be fine. I also told him that none of the hot lunches at our
school ever have any peanuts in them. (Peanut is Matthew’s worst allergy.) He
responded, with a bit of wonder in his voice, “Oh, I didn’t know that.” Right
away I saw his countenance lighten a little bit.
The
next morning he asked for a huge breakfast. I gave it to him and he ate almost
all of it. He came home from school with an empty lunchbox, a spring in his
step, some color in his cheeks and the normal twinkle in his eye. As he
continued to eat regularly, I was relieved beyond what I can express.
Yesterday
I was reading through the conference edition of the Ensign preparing a visiting
teaching lesson. I had decided to give my lesson from Elder Eyring’s talk entitled“To My Grandchildren.” The basic gist of the talk is that we can have happiness
in family life by keeping the first two commandments. When we love the Lord,
love others and live so that our choices reflect that love, the Holy Ghost will
guide us to help us make choices and solve problems in our families so that we
can be happy. It is a fabulous talk. As I was re-reading the talk, I suddenly
realized exactly what had happened when Matthew and I were able to figure out
why he wasn’t eating. It hadn’t occurred to me that the Holy Ghost was giving
me the help I needed either because I’m super dense or because I’m so
accustomed to those little helps that it didn’t seem out of the normal for me.
I prefer to think it is the latter, but it could very possibly be the previous
reason. Anyway, it was one of those moments when I was reminded that the Lord
knows exactly what we need and he helps us in his own way.
So
for Matthew: He loves a little six year old food allergy kid so much that he put
words in the mouth of that child’s mom so that between the two of them they
could figure out what was wrong and work together to solve the problem. It was an answer to a heartfelt prayer. He knows
exactly what you are going through and he loves that you deal with your
struggles with courage and faith. He won’t ever leave you to deal with life’s
trials alone if you ask for his help. And he has promised you that someday your
body will be perfect and you will be able to have a big bowl of ice cream, just
like everyone else.
No
matter where or when you need this reminder, it is still true. Just ask your
mom. She knows.
