A Reminder for Me: There Really is a Purpose to the Program

This post is mostly for me. It has the potential to be long and wordy. If you want to skip it, I won’t be offended. In fact, I’ll never even know. But the next time I get all ornery about doing my visiting teaching, I want to remember all this stuff. So this is your chance to run away if you so desire…

One of the sisters I have been visiting for almost the past two years will actually call me when she has trouble and tell me when things are going on in her life. It is kind of different for me as the majority of the sisters I’ve visited in my life will smile and tell me everything is fine even when it isn’t. But this sister actually trusts me enough to share her worries. Two weeks ago she was the first one to arrive for choir practice. (She is also a dedicated choir member which I love her for.) I asked her how she was and she started to cry and tell me about some troubles she was having with one of her daughters. I started to cry to (I’m a huge bawl baby. I inherited it from my father.) and needless to say, choir started a bit late that day.

For the first time in my life, I had a feeling that I needed to tell the Relief Society president (who I’ve also visited in the past) what was going on. I wasn’t sure why because I had been privy to some much more serious struggles the same sister had been through with one of her sons the previous year and had never been impressed to tell anyone. Nevertheless, I needed to chat with the R.S. president and it needed to be that day. I had planned to call her after church, but after opening exercises in relief society, the president came and sat down right by me. When the meeting ended I told her I was concerned about one of the sisters I visited and was only a little bit surprised when she knew exactly which sister I was talking about. I shared the little bit of info I had gleaned before choir practice, also letting her know that while I had been in a position to help with her son and his struggles, I had absolutely no idea how to help with her daughter.  The president let me know that she would follow up.

The next Sunday I was subbing in nursery and as church was ending, the president came to deliver in person a brand new list of sisters I was assigned to visit. I was surprised to see that the sister I had been visiting for two years was no longer on my list. The pres wanted to make sure that I wasn’t offended by the change and knew what the reasons were behind the change. After talking with both me and the sister I was visiting, the president had a feeling that there needed to be visiting teachers in that home that could help with the daughter. She had made changes accordingly and wanted all parties involved to know why there were changes being made. Knowing that the family’s needs were the impetus for the change immediately put my mind at ease. All was as it should be.

That was when the R.S. president asked me to write the visiting teaching thought for the November newsletter. And I was not surprised in any way. For the past few months I’ve had a thought in the back of my mind that I needed to think about what to write. So I had taken plenty of time to ponder, went home from church, did a ten minute brain dump and the thing was finished. So here it is, another reminder to myself of why I persevere in doing my visiting teaching even when my attitude is suckalicious:

My first experiences with visiting teaching were not positive. In the first ward I lived in after I got married, I was never visited and I don’t even know if I was assigned a companion and sisters to visit. In the next ward, I was assigned a companion and the very first time I met her she told me that her last companion had made her arrange all the appointments and so now it was my turn to make all the appointments. To say that I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Several wards later I had an inactive companion and three of the four sisters I was assigned to visit were inactive. Every month my visiting teaching supervisor would call and use her grumpy voice to ask, “What’s wrong?! Why aren’t you doing your visiting teaching?!” That was about the point that I just gave up.

When that inactive companion moved, my new companion happened to be one of my best friends in the ward. I figured we could commiserate together, but instead she taught me what visiting teaching is actually about. We worked together to make appointments and prepare lessons. We scheduled appointments early in the month so it didn’t feel like a last minute dash to get everyone visited. We shared lessons with those ladies who were receptive to the messages and just visited with those who were not. We had one completely inactive (possibly nonmember, I don’t remember) sister who didn’t even always let us in the house. But we would stand on her porch and chat with her and my companion took a spinning class with her and honestly considered her a friend. We had only been companions for two or three months when I moved to Herriman, but it was long enough for me to see how visiting teaching should be.

With that in mind, I made a commitment in my new ward to do my visiting teaching even if it was hard and in spite of my negative feelings about it. I set my nerves aside and cold-called a new companion I had never met and made appointments with several sisters that I had only met once or twice. That was nearly five years ago and I can honestly say that I’ve only missed visiting my sisters a few months. That doesn’t mean that it has been easy. Schedules have been hard. Illness had changed plans. My attitude has not always been stellar about the whole thing, but I had made a commitment to just do it and so I did.

I have no idea if any of the sisters I’ve visited felt like they were better off for hosting me for half an hour once a month, but I know that I’m better off. Many of the ladies I consider to be my friends started off as being companions or ladies that I’ve visited. Over time I’ve found myself worrying about their worries and triumphing in their joys. Little by little I’ve discovered that I care about their wellbeing and honestly want to help and serve them. It doesn’t mean that actually getting out there and visiting everyone has gotten easier. There are still obstacles to overcome. But it does mean that I honestly believe that because of my commitment to just do it, the Lord has begun to give me a little glimpse of what a truly Christ-centered commitment to love and serve our neighbors is about. I have a long way to go, but I’ve taken the first step. And I’ve been blessed for it. I only hope the sisters I visit feel the same way.