Should I Be Concerned?

Malia’s language arts class was given a writing prompt this morning. The prompt was “What is the most dangerous game in life?” This is what Malia came up with:

The most dangerous game in life? Russian Roulette. Why? You get shot. Why is that bad?Bullets can kill you. Or just leave you seriously maimed. And depending on who shot you it could turn into an emotional game as well, as long as you live long enough to make it such. In more depth, Russian Roulette is a game that gets played with a revolver. You put a single round into the gun, and spin the thing. Then you put the gun to your head and hope your brains don't get splattered. Or maybe someone else points the gun at you. Who knows. That would depend on the situation and whether or not you accidentally got yourself involved with some Italian Mafia Boss. Or maybe a gang that you owe money, but aren't exactly patient. Or hey, maybe it's a fun family evening activity. (I'm kidding, no one in their right mind would play Russian Roulette with their family. Just their enemies.) Its like a more intense version of the pie splat game, but you go splat instead, ya know? I also don't think it's quite as legal as the pie splat game. I wouldn't know, maybe you could find out for me? Yes, you, my dear reader. Or, actually, don't do that. That would end badly for everyone. Dangerous doesn't always mean fun. DON'T PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE:)

Malia says she is not a good writer. She claims that she isn’t good at adding details to her writing projects, and there is no love for her in writing fiction, persuasive essays, poetry, or pretty much anything else her teachers have asked of her. But maybe she just hasn’t been asked to write the appropriate things yet. Because I’m thinking humorous essays or maybe even satire just might be right up her alley. She certainly did seem to enjoy today’s assignment as she shared it with us over dinner. And I’ll admit it. I laughed. Out loud. 

Hopefully her teacher doesn’t see this expression of a bit of dark humor as a warning sign and send a referral to Malia’s counselor… 😜

Visual Aids

Malia is a mighty 9th grader this year which means that she is now eligible for seminary. She had some problems with her schedule before school started, but as her counselor was tossing ideas at her, dropping seminary was definitely not an option for her. And I’m so glad. Because seminary was when the gospel kind of came alive for all our boys and honestly, I’m hoping that it will be good for Malia as well. I think she had a good dose of the “living gospel” experience at FSY this year, because FSY is basically like being in seminary all day every day for a whole week, but having the smaller, consistent doses if important. Especially because middle school is the cesspool of the world, only to be outclassed by the high school. Seriously, there is a lot of stuff that the kids really have to go blind to in order to survive the public school system. So, seminary. A valuable tool to strengthen our youth and help our kids survive in this crazy world.

In Malia’s seminary class today, the kids were put into small groups and each one of them had to teach the rest of their group about one part of the plan of salvation. Malia was assigned to enlighten the group on premortal life and because she is who she is, she drew pictures. And it was spot on. And it made me laugh because her sense of humor came through. So here is Malia’s interpretation of the council in heaven and our premortal life. Enjoy. I did!

The Man Behind the Curtain

Due to a law that went into effect last year, Nathan’s opportunities for paid ASL interpreting work have been nearly non-existent of late. Basically, the law states that only someone with a professional level certification can be hired as an interpreter. That seems all good on the surface, but what it means in the real world is that those who have an intermediate level certification can’t be hired thereby not getting any more experience which greatly hinders their ability to get enough real work practice to pass the professional certification test. And the Utah ASL professional test is extremely difficult to pass. Nathan has taken it three or four times and has passed everything except one area each time. But the area that he doesn’t pass isn’t the same each time. It is different. And he has really struggled getting detailed feedback about his test results which means that he really doesn’t know what he needs to do to improve. The whole thing has actually been very frustrating and discouraging for him.

From many of his contacts in the ASL interpreting world, he has heard that the Utah professional test is much harder to pass than the national level cert test and the national test supersedes the state one so if he passes that, he won’t need to pass the Utah professional test to gain professional level certification. But he needs to have a bachelor’s degree before he can qualify to take the national test, so he is going to start practicing for the national test in the spring so that he can take it sometime after he graduates in early May next year. In the meantime, he is still looking for opportunities to interpret wherever he can. He interprets for classes at the university when there is a need and it fits in his schedule, has interpreted for firesides, MTC devotionals, etc.

While he hasn’t been offered any jobs through the two interpreting agencies he is employed by, Nathan has applied and been hired by the church to work as an interpreter. His ultimate goal is to be able to interpret for general conference, but of course, he has to work his way up through the ranks of church-employed interpreters. He isn’t bothered by that though and was super excited for his first paid church job this morning. He had the opportunity to be part of the team of interpreters for two temple ground breakings, the Tampa Florida temple and the Vancouver Washington temple. While the actual events were in different states, the interpreting and broadcasting teams work here in Salt Lake. Nathan got to take a tour of the behind-the-scenes areas of the church broadcasting system at the conference center and thought the entire thing was super cool. He was impressed by just how many people it takes to make all the broadcasts run smoothly and was pleased as punch to be able to participate. 

Kevin and I were both just a little bit proud to see him interpreting in an official church capacity. 😉

She’s Waited a Whole Year!

Malia is one of the youngest kids in her grade. With a late August birthday and a September 1 school cutoff date, she was actually still only 4-years-old when she started kindergarten. And being the youngest is kind of a sticking point for her. Not in any real way, but she does joke about it, complain with joviality, take some well humored licks from her friends, etc. As such, finally turning fourteen was kind of a big deal.

We had her fancy dino nugget cake a couple of weeks ago and she has a small shindig with two of her close friends planned for tomorrow (there is a sing-a-long big screen showing of “K-Pop Demon Hunters” which is her current favorite movie/obsession) but today was pretty mellow. We did make some efforts to set her big 14 apart though. Kevin has been in Philly for work this week, so it was just Malia and I enjoying birthday cake pancakes before she set off for school. Kevin took the first flight out of Philly this morning so he would be home in time to celebrate with Malia, so he was home before dinner. We took her out to eat at Olive Garden, one of her favorite safe food restaurants, and she ate fried cheese sticks, one of her favorite eating out food items, and chicken alfredo. Nathan has an interpreting job downtown bright and early tomorrow morning, so he drove down this afternoon and joined us for dinner. 

In terms of presents, Nathan enlisted the help of one of his roommates and 3D printed tiny articulated versions of Toothless and the Light Fury from the “How to Train Your Dragon” movies, which are some of Malia’s all-time favorites. Kevin and I had gave her a package of throw pillows that look just like her beloved dino nuggets and once they had a bit of time to recover from being vacuum packed, Nathan and Malia had a pillow fight. Our other present for Malia was purchased several months ago and is one that she already knew about. She has tickets to the Benson Boone concert in October. He is one of her favorite recording artists and while he has had several performances nearby in the past year, we haven’t been able to get her tickets to any of those. So, she is super, duper excited about being able to go to the upcoming concert.

Malia has grown up a lot in the past year. She is taller than me, a fact which gives her much satisfaction. In fact, the height difference is significant enough that even though I was wearing tall shoes on Daniel’s wedding day, she is still visibly taller than I am. Which she loves! She has outgrown some of her most timid tendencies and is more confident in herself than she has been in the past. She has a sharp sense of humor and can hold her own in pretty much any group. She is finding that sometimes it’s ok to dress up a little bit and having a brand-new older sister to give her some tips has been great. She is funny and talkative and artistic and, in many ways, a typical giggly teenage girl. And we all love her. So happy birthday to my girl child. I’m so grateful that she is in my life and will talk to me about our favorite boy bands and isn’t too terribly embarrassed to be seen in public with me. 😜

Ties That Bind

Let me start with a disclaimer. This is going to be long. We’ve had a major life-changing event in our family, and I have a lot to say. And because I’m a logical thinker and a list maker, much of it will be in list form. But hopefully, it will give a fairly well-rounded view of what a wonderful day we had. In addition, it is likely to get emotional at points. But as the mother of the groom, I have absolutely earned the right to be as sentimental and sappy as I want. 

Now that you’ve been fairly warned, let’s get to it.

Eight Things I Learned About Wedding Planning

1. Delegate. One person absolutely can’t do all the work. I did most of the prep work on my own, but there was no way I could have managed everything by myself on the actual day. My neighbors and family were worth their weight in gold when it came to execution.

2. Prepping as much in advance as possible makes things much nicer the week of the wedding. On Wednesday afternoon, Tawni’s mom asked me a question via text and then inquired about how things were going for us. Honestly, we were just wandering around the house with nothing to do. Everything that could be done early was done. We were just waiting for the time to come when we could get into the church to set up for the luncheon. Both Daniel and I were in the “We’re ready for this, let’s get this show on the road” mode. But when Daniel asked Tawni how things were going in her neck of the woods, the response was, “It’s a madhouse.” So, one point for being OCD enough to start prepping about five seconds after Daniel and Tawni told us they were getting married.

3. All my experience working the concession stand at the 4-H horse shows as a teen as well as my years working in the veg prep department of BYU Food Services in college both work to my advantage when it comes to estimating quantities, ordering, and prepping food for a crowd. Other than having loads of cookies left over (But really, can you ever have too many cookies?), the amount of food I planned for the luncheon was really close. There weren’t far too many leftovers and what was left was packed up into clamshell containers to provide dinners for the bridal party and family members who were on wedding duty the entire day. And which were consumed with gratitude later that evening. Things did not come out so nicely at the reception, but that was because I had absolutely no idea how many people to plan for. As a result, we have bags and bags of frozen pancakes leftover, as well as a good amount of maple syrup and Nutella. But Tawni was excited about the prospect of leftover pancakes and toppings, so we will just send things their way as they have freezer space to accommodate the goodies.

4. Being a list maker is an absolute bonus when planning a big event. My serious organizational skills not only kept me on top of things, but it made everything super simple for my relief society helpers. They knew exactly what help was needed and when and as a result, things were executed perfectly. The luncheon ran exactly as I’d hoped and was a spot of calm and relaxation on a busy day. One that included cookies, of course. 😉

5. Never plan to reuse a tablecloth that is on a table that is going to have actual food on it unless you have time to take it home, wash it, and get it dry between events. It’s a good thing the vibe for the reception was “rustic” because the rectangular tablecloths I used at the luncheon were far too soiled to be used for the reception. Our pancake bar was served directly from the bare wooden tables that were included in the garden house rental. But it worked. The only tricky part was trying to get maple syrup off the rough, unfinished wood. Got a mighty fine sliver doing just that.

6. Having a good bridal party is priceless. Daniel and Tawni’s selections were more helpful than I could have anticipated. They were our feet on the ground for the entire event, starting with the groomsmen helping set up for the luncheon before the previously scheduled bachelor party, through luncheon cleanup, reception set up and tear down, etc.

7. There comes a point when I just can’t make one more decision. Really. By the time the reception ended last night, I could not think my way out of a paper bag. What to do with leftover pancakes? Don’t know. How to pack up the detritus of the pancake bar to transport it home? Haven’t got a clue. Where to find the boxes that we used to get things to the venue? Surely someone else knows. Honestly, I was just as mentally tired as I was physically exhausted.

8. The payoff for a well-planned wedding is a day that is enjoyed by all, one that is low stress for the bride and groom and allows them to remember their wedding day with joy rather than coming away feeling so glad they got married but having hated the actual event. I’ve seen it happen. But a marvelously executed event that allows everyone to celebrate with joy is one that will be recounted fondly over the years. I should know. My own wedding was exactly that. A low stress, joyful, well executed series of celebrations that I enjoyed just as much as my guests. Kudos to my mom and mother-in-law for that. I understand better now just how much they did to make it so.

Eight Blessings We Received Amidst the Hubbub

This is disclaimer #2. We were definitely the recipients of more than eight blessings today. But I want to highlight just a few. As promised, this is already long, and I still have a lot of ground to cover. So, this is a condensed list of the tender mercies we saw today.

1. All eight grandparents were at the sealing. Even Rex, who has been home bound since November, made it. When I got married, there were only two grandparents in attendance, Kevin’s maternal grandparents. So, to me, having all of Daniel’s and Tawni’s grandparents in the temple with us was nothing short of a miracle.

2. Michelle, Corynn, and Aliese were with us all day. Aliese and Corynn arrived at our house bright and early. Aliese did Malia’s hair, and Corynn helped her with some tasteful, age-appropriate and Malia-approved make up. After the sealing, they also waited at the temple while Malia and Nathan stood for photos of the bridal party. They gave them a ride to the church so that Kevin and I could get there sooner to finish prepping for lunch. After a brief pause in the afternoon, all of them jumped in and helped make the pancake bar at the reception a huge success. With no kitchen to speak of and only a roasting oven as a cooking tool, they helped my friend Heather figure out a method to defrost and warm the pancakes and kept things moving all night. Aliese was also instrumental in successfully getting the wedding cake sliced and served. 

3. As soon as the large family photo at the temple was done, Connie took off to pick up the catering order for lunch. That was one of the things I was concerned about as I made plans, knowing that as the parents of the groom, Kevin and I would be required to stay at the temple a bit longer. But Connie’s help was priceless as it took a good deal of stress off my shoulders and allowed the luncheon to start right on time despite the fact that Kevin and I walked through the door only a few minutes before the appointed start time.

4. One of my relief society helpers for the luncheon is my ministering sister in our new ward. I don’t know her well yet and honestly, I probably wouldn’t have asked her to help because of that. But she offered. And I was grateful to accept. And after all her help at the luncheon, she took all the tablecloths home, washed and dried them, and returned them to the relief society closet in the church. It was such a simple thing, something that had never occurred to me, but it was a tender mercy to know that I wouldn’t have four loads of dirty laundry waiting for me this morning. And now I have a great idea of one more way that I can pay it forward next time someone else needs help for a large meal.

5. We had the love, support and help of so many family members throughout the day. My mom was having a good day and was able to attend all the day’s festivities-sealing, luncheon and reception. Nathan stepped in repeatedly to help wherever he saw a need. Malia, who has been somewhat overwhelmed by all the recent changes our family has experienced, spent a good twenty minutes sitting with Sam, Tawni’s dad, and August, Tawni’s youngest sister, just blowing bubbles. Tawni’s extended family jumped in for a Costco run when we realized that I had neglected to make plans for drinks at the reception. It didn’t even occur to me in the midst of solving the conundrum of having a pancake bar in a greenhouse with no kitchen facilities. But bottles of water were purchased, and it was perfect. Tawni’s sister Charlotte baked the wedding cake, and it was beautiful and delicious. Tawni’s mom provided all the fruit for the pancake bar, and it was a big hit. The fruit was by far the most popular topping. We had lots of syrup, jam, Nutella, and even chocolate chips left over, but the fruit was nearly gone. So many people put in so many hours to help Daniel and Tawni have a wonderful day.

6. I’ve spoken recently about how big Matthew’s support group is. But today’s events reminded me just how big my support group is. Not only did I have most of my siblings as well as my parents on hand, but all of Kevin’s family was there as well. And as the reception progressed, one familiar face after another arrived. Friends from all three wards that I’ve been in since moving to Herriman, including some who have moved away. Friends from our ward in Murray. Neighbors we have known for years and neighbors we are just becoming acquainted with. It was truly humbling to see so many people, some of whom don’t even know Daniel, show up to support me and my family.

7. The weather was fantastic. This might sound dumb. But it’s not. It’s a big deal for me. Being too hot is one of my migraine triggers. It has been my entire life. As a child, many end of school year celebrations and summer vacations were marred by the fact that I had a relentless, pounding headache and a queasy stomach. So, when Daniel and Tawni decided on an August wedding date and Tawni told us she wanted an outdoor reception, I was concerned. But despite the rising mercury, it was not too hot at the temple. The photographer took the photos quickly, which was helpful, and I was able to get out of the heat before I had any issues. It was uncomfortably hot as we started setting up for the reception, but by the time it started at 6 p.m. it had gotten just a bit cloudy, had cooled nicely, and with a light breeze it was remarkably pleasant. 

8. And in conjunction with the cooperative weather, I had no headache all day. Over the course of our travels last year, I learned that it’s ok to premedicate on days when I know the migraine triggers are going to stack up, and that the outcome is better than it is if I wait until the first symptoms appear before taking the meds. So, I pretreated and felt great all day. Nathan had some beginning symptoms of a migraine while we were at the temple, but he treated early as well and ended up with only mild pain, but no dizziness or other migraine symptoms.

Eight Things That Made Me Cry on My Oldest Son’s Wedding Day 

Disclaimer #3. The last one, I promise. I’m a huge crybaby. Everyone who knows me well knows this. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m frustrated. I cry when I’m relieved. I cry when I’m angry, which makes me even angrier! Basically, strong emotions of all sorts turn on the waterworks. So, there was basically a 0% chance of me not crying at least once yesterday. And with my past track record, exhibiting multiple crybaby moments was highly probable. Hence the list. 

1. This is kind of a no brainer, but Daniel and Tawni’s temple sealing. Joined by many beloved family members and another entire family that we will have the opportunity to get to know over the coming years, Daniel and Tawni took the next step on the covenant path with absolute joy. This is the expected and normal crybaby moment for many, and certainly for me. (I went with Kleenex in hand, and then we jovially handed the temple provided box of tissue around for all who wanted one.) The moment when they took the vow, making the covenant with each other and the Lord, binding themselves together for eternity brought the expected tears. The excitement and pure joy in their faces just undid me a little bit. And in a moment of complete disclosure, it was nice that our family was not the only one cracking jokes in the sealing room. Tawni’s family had their own share. There was nothing irreverent about any of it, but it was one of those times when I remember, as taught by Elder Kearon, that this is the church of joy!

2. Prior to the ordinance, the sealer called the witnesses to come sign the marriage certificate. I did not know this beforehand, but Daniel and Tawni selected Tawni’s dad and me as the witnesses. I was completely surprised as in the days of my wedding, the fathers were always the witnesses. But with the change in church procedure to allow women to sit as witnesses, I guess that has become more of a tradition than a necessity. After the sealing, when all the other guests had exited the room, the sealer had Daniel and Tawni stand to look in the eternity mirrors (That is not what they are actually called or anything, but it seems like a good name to me). He had Tawni’s parents stand at her side and Kevin and I stood by Daniel. Then he spoke for just a minute about how the mirrors represent looking forward to their posterity and behind them to their ancestors, all bound together. The sealer then commented on the job that mothers do, the responsibilities they carry, and quoted the scripture from the Book of Mormon about the stripling warriors and how they did not doubt because their mothers taught them. (For those of you who may not remember, that was also Daniel’s missionary scripture, and another crybaby moment for me.) And Daniel leaned down and quietly whispered to me that that was why he had chosen me to be a witness. Cue the tears.

3. After the sealing, there were the traditional family photos at the temple. I was doing just fine until the photographer had everyone else step away to take a picture of just Daniel and Tawni and Daniel’s siblings. Then I had a missionary mama moment and shed a few tears because Matthew was not there. We all know that he is exactly where the Lord needs him to be, but still. It was a bit hard.

4. This one is not necessarily wedding focused, but it happened at the reception, so I’m counting it. Heather, a sweet friend of mine with whom I served as a primary activity leader before our previous ward was dissolved, was kind enough to come as a food helper for the reception. Her daughter was one of our sweet primary activities aged girls and she happens to be allergic to milk and red 40. That was never an issue for me as I’m very experienced in dealing with the ins and outs of food allergies and made sure she was able to fully participate in activities that included homemade doughnuts, soft pretzels, cookies, hot chocolate, etc. But in their new ward, there are no other ward members who have food allergies, and the primary leaders just don’t understand the ramifications such allergies can have. Heather is a good food allergy parent and doesn’t expect the leaders to make huge changes to their plans but has simply asked that they let her know what their plans are so that she can provide a safe version for her daughter. But they, in what I can only assume is a desire to fulfill their calling and to love and serve the girls, always tell her no, that they want to do it. But they don’t have the knowledge or experience to provide safe food for her and don’t understand how emotionally devastating it can be for a child to come to an activity and always be excluded due to food restrictions. This wonderful, sweet, funny girl, whom I adore, is struggling and my food allergy mama heart was just wrenched a little bit. I gave her some advice on how to approach the problem and help educate others, but next week Malia and I are going to bake some cookies for Olivia and take them to her. 

5. I have some pretty amazing sisters and somewhere along the way, Rachael and Esther were talking about the fact that Matthew was not there. And so, in the break between the luncheon and the reception, Esther went home, got her craft on, and returned that evening with Matthew on a stick. Literally. And then I cried. Because missionary mama and some awesome sisters. We then proceeded to drag the photographer outside to take one more family photo before the reception got going. And knowing that it was all about a current missionary, the photographer shared the photo right away, Kevin sent it to Matthew, and Matthew immediately posted it in his missionary Google Photos. And honestly, I think it is one of everyone’s favorite photos already. 

6. Months ago, Tawni asked if we could provide two gluten-free meals at the luncheon for two of her guests. Abby, one of Tawni’s dear friends, was one of her bridesmaids and one of those people in need of a gluten free meal. Abby was excited she would be fed lunch as she, like so many food allergic or intolerant people, knows that there is rarely safe food at events and gatherings. She was grateful to be fed at lunch and packed up leftovers for a meal on the go later in the day and was pleased as punch about it. About halfway through the reception, she caught me and asked if there were any gluten free pancakes. She quickly added that she hadn’t expected there to be but was wondering. I told her that unfortunately, there were no gluten free pancakes, but that there was gluten free cake for her to enjoy when the wedding cake was served. And her entire face lit up with surprise and joy. As a food allergy mama, I have learned firsthand just how difficult it can be for those with specific food needs to navigate the world. And I have also learned firsthand just how grateful those individuals are when someone takes the time to provide something safe for them to eat. So, I was perfectly happy to prepare some of these allergen free meals, and I was so grateful that my sister Rachael, who also eats gluten free, was willing to make two gluten free cakes for the event. Of course, I immediately found Rachael to tell her just how grateful Abby was, and of course, I got a little teary eyed when I told her. 

7. Weddings are one of those life events that draw people together and I got a little emotional every time a dear friend of mine that I haven’t seen for so very long arrived to celebrate this special day with us. I’m only counting this as one, but seriously, my eyes filled about ten times as these wonderful ladies showed up. My heart is so full. 

8. When all the festivities were over and we were at home getting ready for bed, I had one last emotional moment. As I knelt in prayer at the end of the day and reflected on how joy filled the day had been, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears of gratitude. It was with an extremely thankful heart that I poured out my thoughts to my Heavenly Father, thanking him for the joy. Joy for the love and support of family. Joy for the many friends, old and new, who came to celebrate with us. Joy for the new relationships we are building with Tawni’s family. Joy for the fact that all eight grandparents were in the sealing room. Joy for my sisters, who brought “Matthew on a stick” to be with us. And more than anything, joy for the ties that bind, the covenants that give us the promise of being with all these loved ones forever. 

FSY-stock

Remember back in July when the session of FSY that Malia attended was the one session that was lucky enough to get a live concert? And remember that the concert was recorded to be broadcast worldwide in August? Well, tonight was the night in our neck of the woods! The broadcast was available to watch a week ago and Malia streamed it almost as soon as it was live, but this evening youth from multiple stakes in our area gathered at a nearby city park to watch the concert. In addition to the recording, several of the artists who participated were on hand for live performances. One of them was a singer that Malia met at the FSY concert and she made her way over to meet him again this evening. And was super excited about it!

The two performers who were on hand for live performances sang two of Malia’s favorite church youth music songs as well as a simple vocal and guitar rendition of “Be Still, My Soul” that Malia loved. That is one of my favorite hymns, and I’m so glad she has discovered the power of the message it conveys. The audience was invited to sing along for “A Child’s Prayer” and Malia loved that as well. Basically, the entire event was fantastic! She was texting me in all caps about the highlights as they happened, which I pretty much love.

The ward youth leaders organized carpools over to the park and told the parents they would drop their girls off at home around 9 o’clock. When it came time to leave, the concert was not quite over yet and Malia didn’t want to leave early. So, she texted Kevin and with some coordination confirming parental permission and the understanding that we would need to pick Malia up, she and Morgan (one of her good friends) stayed after the rest of our ward left and enjoyed the rest of the concert.

While I was never a fan of pop style church music as a youth, it speaks to Malia, and I think that is wonderful. Anything that helps strengthen her, teaches her gospel principles, and invites the Spirit into her life is ok by me. And if it is something that she can get excited about, that’s even better!

Behold, the Coco-nugget!

When my kids were young and eating their own body weight in chicken nuggets, I always bought the dinosaur shaped ones because not only were they fun, but they were also the cheapest kind when I bought the big bag at Costco. Now that Malia is a teenager, I offered to upgrade to the normal shaped nuggets. But Malia protested vehemently, claiming that the dino nuggets are the best. And so, I continue to buy the dino nuggets because Malia loves them. And I can’t really complain. I’m a middle-aged woman who likes to play with her food, creating edible art. So, who am I to judge her for loving the Jurassic version of lunch?

Several months ago, Malia discovered that you could buy throw pillows shaped like her beloved dino nuggets. As they were reasonably priced and she already knows that some much-coveted concert tickets are the bulk of her birthday present, she asked if they could please be a birthday present. I agreed that they were an affordable gift option and suggested that we go whole hog and have a birthday party with chicken nuggets for the main course and a cake covered in toasted coconut made in the shape of a dino nugget. In my mind, that was a two birds one stone kind of a situation. I could indulge her love of dino nuggets and have an opportunity to create some fun food all at the same time. While she decided the whole big birthday party thing was not tickling her fancy this year, she thought the cake was a great idea and thus, a plan was born.

This evening, we celebrated Malia’s birthday at our monthly Sunday dinner at my parents’ house. In preparation for the event, I baked a lovely coconut cake, cut it to look like a brontosaurus, filled it with raspberry filling, and generously coated it with toasted coconut. And it turned out fantastic! I really did look like Malia’s favorite meaty treat in cake form! I’ve been calling it the coco-nugget since it’s a coconut cake shaped like a chicken nugget, but Malia just calls it Jerry.

Although Malia didn’t want the consumption of Jerry to have the accoutrements of candles and singing, we sang anyway. And unfortunately, Jerry had a very bad day. We started by cutting off his head and by the time we were done, only a small portion of drumstick remained. But Jerry was absolutely delicious. The flavor reminded me of those coconut Zinger snack cakes that I used to love as a kid. Only better!

I’m actually really glad Malia let me create a crazy cake for her birthday. With most of my now grown-up kids living away from home, it has been quite a long time since I’ve had the opportunity to create a fun birthday cake. And it is something I enjoy!

Go!

Today was Matthew’s flight to Arkansas. Ever since we received the first communications directly from the mission, we have known that the first 48 hours were going to be interesting food wise. The incoming missionaries are fed at the mission home and don’t even have access to all their luggage until they head out to their assigned areas. That means that for two full days plus his travel day, all the food Matthew would have would be what he could carry with him through security at the airport and any meager allergy friendly options he could find in the convenience stores in the airport. So as with all things, we made a plan to keep him fed. We live close enough to the MTC that we can take advantage of the same day MTC delivery services that are offered by several Provo businesses. So early this week, I packed up a box of a dozen muffins (one of Matthew’s favorite travel foods), some rolls, and several bags of cookies and dropped it off for delivery. Matthew doesn’t eat a ton when he is stressed, and knowing that he would be rather anxious, he figured that would be enough to get him through the day. I also planned to have a box of shelf stable foods waiting for him in Arkansas.

Last week, I got a phone call from one of the senior sisters who is serving in the mission office in Bentonville. Sis. B called and basically said, “How in the world do we feed your missionary?” That’s not an easy question to answer, so there have been multiple conversations, I’ve spent quite a bit of time online shopping the Walmart in Bentonville, and I suggested some fast and easy prepared food meals that are pretty much Matthew’s comfort food. She has obviously read all the info that we have sent to the mission, because she also asked about what kinds of pans he needs, whether or not he will need separate dishes in his apartment, etc. She has been working with the couple who deals with housing to make sure they have everything ready for him when he gets there.

Several days ago, I got another call from a different sister who is the secretary in the mission office. She puts together little “snack packs” for the missionaries to take with them when they leave the mission home to drive to their areas. She said that it can be a long drive, and missionaries often don’t eat that well, so she tries to put together some healthier snacks for them to have as they travel. I went back to the internet and gave her some options there as well. When I told her that Matthew can have Club crackers and Welch’s fruit snacks, she excitedly proclaimed, “I have those!” I gave her several other ideas to flesh out his snack pack, so hopefully that will be helpful for him as well.

I also got a text message from Sis. B on Monday. Matthew’s boxes of food had arrived, and she wanted to make sure that they didn’t need to be opened right away to get anything into the fridge. I assured her that everything was shelf stable and that Box #1 was to help get him fed for those first two days in the mission and Box #2 was to take with him when he headed out to his area so that he wouldn’t starve while he is figuring out what brands of foods he can get that are safe for him. She also asked me to send her details about things like what brands of bread are safe for him, so as I researched, I sent some info her way.

Sis. B called once more this morning, to ask about some fresh produce. Obviously, they try to feed their missionaries healthy meals and the fast prepared foods I suggested were lacking in that department. So, I shared some info about what kinds of fruit he likes, Malia chimed in with the addition of rice and BBQ chips (we were in the car when she called), she asked what was in the boxes I’d sent so she had an idea of what he had access to, and I think she felt better about being able to offer him a well-rounded meal. One of the really helpful things about this particular sister is that her daughter has Celiac which means that she knows all about the dangers of cross contact. Over the years, I have learned that cross contact is one of the hardest things for people to wrap their brains around. The idea that trace amounts of food so small that can’t be seen can pose a real risk can be baffling to many who have never needed to deal with these types of things, so honestly, knowing that someone who really gets the reality of the need for excessive care taken in food preparation has been good for my food allergy mama brain. 

Once Matthew arrived at the mission home and ate, he had a few minutes to message us. Wednesday is P-day in the mission, so while he didn’t have time for an actual call, he did send us some info. Obviously, he had arrived safely. He had been fed chicken strips, rice, BBQ chips, and green grapes. He was recovering from food poisoning part 2 and while he still didn’t feel great, he was grateful for some (almost) real food. He asked about some of the items in his boxes and will be relieved when he has full control of his food again.

Once Matthew gets to his own apartment the food part will be easier…hopefully. A lot of that will depend on the cooperation of his companion. But he’s ready to clean like crazy and educate his companions and hopefully things will go well. I know he has worries about many things and being ill twice in the past ten days has not helped. But we have taught him everything he needs to know in terms of feeding himself safely and he has placed his trust in the Lord. Hopefully with a bit of time to figure everything out, Matthew’s food needs will take a back seat in his brain so that he can really focus on the work he is meant to do in Arkansas.

And so, his missionary service truly begins. And I suspect he has a lot to learn about being a missionary, getting along with companions, and navigating the great unknown that is Arkansas and Missouri.