A Moment of Silence

Today was our Pearl Harbor day. Both my family and Kevin’s family have ties to Pearl Harbor. My maternal grandfather was a civil engineer and was employed at Pearl Harbor in 1941. Kevin’s grandfather was in the navy during that time and although he was home on leave, his ship was stationed at Pearl Harbor during the attack. So in addition to the overall historical importance of the site to us as red blooded Americans, our family history ties us to the site as well. I’ve visited in the past, but as this is Kevin’s first trip to the island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to visit until today. 

Visiting the Arizona Memorial is a solemn affair, and the guide who gave us our little orientation before we boarded the ferry was great at conveying that. He very clearly stated that this is not a tourist attraction but is a military cemetery and deserves to be treated with solemnity and honor. I always feel that seriousness when there, as I believe most people do, but I was grateful for the reminder. I don’t know that I have much more to say other than that being there on the memorial filled me with an immense feeling of gratitude for all those who have fought and sacrificed, and those who continue to do so, in order to preserve the freedom of this country. They have allowed me to live my day-to-day life in safety and without fear.

Our second stop of the day was to ride the shuttle over to the airplane museum on Ford Island. It is still an active military base so there are security measures to be followed, hence the shuttle taking us rather than individual vehicles being allowed to drive onto the base. Kevin and I were both first timers for this stop and while I don’t have the same interest in airplanes as most of my boys do, it was another reminder of the cost of freedom in WW II. While most of the destruction of the December 7 attack was repaired, there are still bullet holes in the windows of some of the hangars. They were left as a reminder instead of being replaced after the war. 

The museum itself includes a Japanese zero which is a plane Kevin has never seen in person before, so he was excited about that. I think the most interesting thing I learned was that Asian American PILOTS carried what is called a “blood chit.”  Basically, that is a document that acts as proof that they were Americans and could be trusted should they be shot down and need help from civilians. It makes perfect sense that such a thing would be needed, but it was something I had never thought about before. Again, a solemn stop for me, one that was a reminder of how very blessed I am to live where I do.

When Kevin and I were finished at Pearl Harbor, we met my parents for lunch. It was dim sum day and I was super excited about that! Unfortunately, we arrived after the lunch rush, which you might think was a good thing but in fact, was not. We got a super pushy waitress who unloaded all the lunch leftovers on us which meant the selection was minimal and none of it was fresh. We all left feeling a bit dissatisfied with our meal. Oh well. We still have plenty of days left in which we can pursue some better Chinese cuisine. Because Asian food is plentiful and easy to find around here!

Swapping, Shopping, and Far Too Much Fabric!

We ate breakfast at the Liliha Bakery again this morning. It is still within walking distance, still open earlier than most of the other places, and we were up bright and early again, so it was a no-brainer. This time I skipped the waffle and opted for an omelet. It was served with a scoop of rice which is definitely not a thing in Utah. 😂 Kevin ordered a pancake. Yes, a single pancake. But it was the size of a frisbee, so it was plenty of food! And it was a good pancake, light and fluffy, good flavor, probably going to end up ordering one of my own another morning.

This morning’s adventure was to the swap meet held at Aloha Stadium. For those who don’t know, the swap meet is the place to find most of the same souvenirs and island products you can get at other locations for much better prices. The weekend swap meets are bigger, but today was the day that worked best with our schedule and I didn’t have a super long list of items I was looking for, so smaller was just fine. We picked up some coral earrings, puka shell bracelets, and several other fun items. We even found a bracelet that has Malia’s name on it! Her name is never included in the prefab personalized items you can usually find at all the tourist traps, but around here, it is pretty common. It is a Hawaiian name, after all. 😉 The vendor even provided us with a made to order one when we asked if she had the bracelet in another color. Malia will be much happier with green rather than pink and it only took her about five minutes to make a new one, so it all worked out perfectly.

When we finished our shopping trip, we joined my parents for lunch. After listening to one side of an entertaining phone conversation between my mom and her half-sister, my Auntie Pat, our afternoon plans shifted and we headed off to Pat’s house. My Auntie Pat has a lot of fabric that she is trying to downsize. On their last several Hawaii trips, my mom has come home with suitcases full of fabric, so I knew that my Auntie Pat had a lot, but honestly, I was not prepared for how much fabric she actually has. She has a very comfortably sized house and every time she opened a new door or cupboard or closet, it revealed yet another space completely filled with fabric. She would rather give it to people she knows will use it, hence sending it across the ocean with my mom rather than sending it to good will, so my mom just shows up there knowing that there will be stuff to haul home. And is happy about it. And my dad just smiles and nods…and occasionally rolls his eyes when my mom and my auntie aren’t looking. 😂 This time around, I’m pretty sure they are going to need to buy a new suitcase to get the latest stash home. But my folks assure me they know just the place to get one cheap, so it’s not a huge issue. We may need a huge suitcase though!

So, here’s the funny for today. My Auntie Pat is not a big woman. She’s a tiny little Chinese lady who has gotten even tinier with age. I’m married to a big white guy whom my auntie has never met. When we walked into her house this afternoon, she looked up and said, “He’s enormous!” Ahh, the lack of tact that the elderly have earned through many years of living! Sometimes I think they are just tired of biting their tongues instead of saying exactly what they think, and due to their years, assume everyone is too polite to do anything about it. And honestly, I think they’ve earned the right to just lay it all out. 😂 But Kev is a good sport so he took in all in stride. At home my half Chinese self may be in the minority, but around here, Kevin is definitely the one who stands out. 😉

Let’s talk a bit about Don Quijote. No, I don’t mean Don Quixote, the novel. I mean Don Quijote the Japanese discount store. Think Walmart with an Asian flair. Apparently, this is the place where my mom likes to buy all her chocolate covered macadamia nuts because they are cheaper than anywhere else. Apparently, this is also the place to buy a cheap suitcase big enough to haul a mighty load of fabric or smuggle a person into the United States. And since my parents have a mighty need for a container to transport all of my Auntie Pat’s fabric donations back to Utah, they suggested we have dinner at Don Quijote. 

That didn’t make much sense to me at the outset, but on arriving at the aforementioned store, I discovered that they have a variety of quick service restaurants lining the outside front of the store as well as a covered area with a bunch of picnic tables where you can eat. It was an eat whatever you want kind of situation, so after perusing the options, we each made our selection and ate before doing our shopping.

Upon entering the store, I discovered that apparently, this is also the place where you can buy just about every Asian food item known to man. Kevin has talked about the onigiri, Japanese style rice balls, he ate on his mission, and we actually had some decent ones when we ate lunch at the Ala Moana shopping center yesterday, so we were on the lookout for some of the flavoring packets Kev remembers. We found an entire aisle of them and selected a few that look tasty. Our goal wasn’t to take a bunch of them home, but to find a few so that I could use the ingredient lists as a starting point for replicating the flavors in a Matthew safe version. I’m particularly careful of internationally prepared food items as each country has different food labeling laws, but I like to give my kiddos opportunities to try as many foods and flavors as I can, so I’m always on the lookout for things Matthew and Malia can try. Anyway, we read a lot of labels, picked up a few things and called it a day…while my mom was zooming around the store with her shopping car. The Parkinson’s slows her down, but with a shopping cart to steady her, she left us in the dust. 😂

No Nuts!

I was right. Falling asleep last night was not a problem. Waking up far too early happened, but at least I was able to go back to sleep until it was a fairly reasonable time to head out to eat breakfast. We did have to wait a few minutes for the café to open though. 😉

One of the perks of the hotel we chose was its proximity to the Ala Moana Shopping Center. There is a walk-through from the hotel to the shopping center which boasts a fairly large selection of restaurants, both fast food and sit-down establishments. There is one bakery/café that opens bright and early and since we were awake and ready to go bright and early, it was an easy decision. As such, the Liliha Bakery was our first breakfast spot. And I was super excited when I saw mac nut waffles on the menu. I love waffles and I love macadamia nuts (and I don’t get to eat them at home very often because of my food allergy kiddos) so eating a healthy amount of mac nuts on this trip is definitely on my to do list. Unfortunately, I was bitterly disappointed with my mac nut waffles because there were no actual nuts in the waffles. Just flavor. The waffle itself was nice and crisp, but without the nuts it just felt like another waffle. So disappointing. But this is only our first full day on the island, so there are still plenty of opportunities for me to fulfill my need for nuts!

After traveling all day yesterday, today was a rest and recover day. For my mom, that meant plenty of rest. For me, that meant plenty of yoga. For my dad, that meant plenty of time sitting on the beach reading. Kevin opted to join my dad since the beach is far more picturesque than staring at my yoga mat. The funny thing is my dad didn’t actually do much reading. He spent the entire time talking about his time in Hawaii. Funny how being in a certain location brings to mind things that you haven’t thought about in years. It ended up being story time on the beach and Kev recorded as many of the stories as he could, so technically it was family history time too. 😉

When lunchtime rolled around, Kevin and my dad came and collected me from the hotel. We headed to the food court at the shopping center and had some decent Asian food. It wasn’t five-star food or anything, but for a food court, it was pretty good. And it was something that you just can’t get at the food courts in Utah. We spent the afternoon much as we had spent the morning, with a nap for me instead of yoga. 

In the evening, Kevin and I found a yummy ramen spot for dinner. My ramen came in a bowl that was bigger than my head, literally, but the contents were so tasty! Kevin ate some Japanese style curry and takoyaki, a Japanese dish he learned to love on his mission and one that is difficult to find in Utah. I think I’m going to enjoy the food options out here! Bedtime will be nice and early since our bodies are still on Utah time, but tomorrow we have more activities planned. Taking a lazy day after our long travel day yesterday was definitely nice though!

Siri Speaks Hawaiian

We’re not really world travelers. We have many places on our travel bucket list, but time, money, and raising children for the past several decades have left the majority of those places firmly on the bucket list. We have taken a good length vacation about every other year and a brief night or two in St. George for the yearly marching band finals, but other than that, we are home dwellers most of the time. 

This year has definitely been a deviation from the norm. Kevin, Nathan and I traveled to Texas in April. Kevin, Malia and I (and Matthew with the school band) explored southern California also in April. Daniel took the hop to another continent when he toured Italy in July. But other than our yearly sleepover in St. George and Kevin’s business travel, we thought we were done exploring the world for this year. 

My mom was born and raised in Hawaii and although she has lived here in Utah for forty-five years, Hawaii is still home. As such, my folks take a trip to Oahu every few years. They had another trip scheduled for this fall, plane tickets purchased, dates sent to my mom’s cousin Audrey who gladly houses them when they visit, and everything. But about six weeks ago, my dad expressed concern about traveling with my mom this time around. Her Parkinson’s has been progressing, and she has had some pretty rough episodes lately. In the past year, my dad has really started feeling his age and with some chronic back pain added to his eighty years, he was just uneasy about his ability to provide my mom the physical stability she needs when they are out and about. They do just fine at home, but traveling is hard on my mom physically and navigating the airport with all the luggage and such and my mom in a wheelchair as she struggles to walk those long distances makes it a trial. My dad was wondering if one of the girls (me or my sisters) would be able to travel with them to help. However, the school year is just beginning, and Patti teaches school, Esther works as a technology specialist for a nearby school district, and Rachael is finishing her college degree this semester and home-schooling Sam, her six-year-old. So honestly, I’m the only one who was available to go. 

I didn’t tell my Dad I could go right away, because I needed to have a serious powwow with Kevin. The past year has been really rough for me migraine wise, and I was concerned about not being able to meet my parents’ needs while on the go since traveling exposes me to many uncontrollable migraine triggers. The cost was also something we needed to talk about, as well as the ramifications of traveling for our own little family. But after a serious conversation, it was determined that we could make it work. 

That is why we find ourselves in Hawaii today. I was a bit nervous to fly based on my recent experiences flying to and from Texas, but I learned some things from that little adventure and by taking the Dramamine far enough in advance, pre-medicating for migraines, snacking regularly to make sure my stomach stayed full, and arming myself with peppermints and ginger ale, I did just fine. No headaches and no motion sickness. Yay! Our flight was delayed over an hour due to a mechanical issue, so I had extra time to sit there and worry, but once we were underway and I was feeling ok, I was able to let that go and feel some anticipation for the coming days on the island.

It has been nearly thirty years since my last trip out here and this is Kevin’s first time in the islands, so there was some excitement as Oahu came into sight out of the plane window. The humidity hit us as soon as the plane door was opened and changing from my “keep warm in the airplane” outfit to my “don’t overheat in the balmy weather” outfit was our first stop. We gathered up my parents, our luggage, two rental cars and were on our way. We turned on Google maps to help us navigate and I was suitably impressed by how well Siri pronounced the Hawaiian street names. Sometimes the pronunciations of seemingly more mundane names closer to home come out all garbled, so I was surprised at how close things were. The programmers must have put in some good hours getting all the correct phonetic rules in place. 😉

I had either forgotten or didn’t notice on my last visit how many of the buildings here are covered in colorful murals. We saw a number of them as we drove this afternoon, and I wish Malia could see the many different kinds of art that are on display. It is so fun to be cruising down the freeway and get to experience an art show at the same time!

These long travel days are hard on my mom, so we got my parents settled at her cousin Audrey’s house, checked into our own hotel, met my folks for dinner and then called it a day. The time difference between here and home means that it feels like the middle of the night to us even though it is early evening, so falling asleep in a new place is not going to be a problem. Of course, the tricky part is going to be not waking up at 3 o’clock in the morning. 😂

Tiny Toothless went with us to Texas, Baby Buc-ee rode with us to California, and Small Stitch caught the plane to Hawaii!

It Takes Time

For the past thirteen years, we have been in the same ward. There has been an enormous amount of building happening in our community over that period of time, but as the construction of new homes has ranged farther and farther from our own little neighborhood, the boundary changes have really slowed down. The last one that affected us was a hard one, particularly for Daniel and for me. Kevin generally takes unexpected changes in stride better than I do, Matthew was too young to really care, and Malia was only a few months old, so she really didn’t care. Despite the challenges that the change brought, over time we saw many blessings as well. But it took time.

This past Sunday it was announced that there would be some changes to our ward boundaries again. And honestly, it was not a big surprise for us. Our ward has been slowly shrinking and it has gotten to the point where we don’t even have enough people to fill all the callings. Our leadership has kept the vital callings staffed, but some of the less important callings have been vacant for years. For example, we have had no ward choir since pre Covid and there is no activities committee in our ward. I know it has actually been difficult to get people to accept callings as well, so our ward has been struggling for some time. 

As Kevin and I talked about the specifics of what those changes could be, we figured there were two options: 1) boundaries would be redrawn to add members to our ward or 2) our ward would be carved up and added to other existing wards. Realistically, option #2 seemed more likely, but in the depths of my heart, I was hoping that option #1 would be what actually happened. You see, it takes me a long time to make friends. I’m an introvert by nature and I’m also a very private person, so it just takes me a long while to learn to trust people with the important parts of myself. The past year has been really difficult for me due to all the migraines, but over that time, the Lord has built an amazing support system of sisters in the ward for me, and I have shared all my challenges and worries and tears with them. They have become my emotional support humans, and I know that I have filled that role for them as well. It has taken me a long time to get to this point of friendship with these ladies, and my heart was really hoping we would be able to stay together.

The meeting to announce the specifics of the changes was on Wednesday evening and the most likely option was the one that actually occurred. Our beloved ward of the past thirteen years has been officially dissolved and we have all been absorbed into other wards. My little support group and I are now in three different wards. Needless to say, that has been a bit of an emotional blow for me. There have been tears shed. I know this change is in accordance with the Lord’s will and I know that it will be for our good, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sad. And while I also know that being in different wards doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, it is harder when you don’t see each other regularly like we do when we are in the same ward. 

The past several days have been hard for Matthew and Malia too. This is really the first time they’ve had to deal with a ward change of any kind and there has been a lot of stress and worry about how things will be. Malia in particular is concerned about not having friends in the ward because the two girls she has been spending the most time with during young women classes and activities are both in a different ward. In addition, her trusted young women leaders are scattered throughout the three wards and not knowing any of the adults in the organization is worrying her. Matthew’s concerns are not quite as volatile and while it is a big, potentially stressful change, he is also hopeful that it will be good. 

Sunday will be our first day in the new ward and then Kevin and I are off to Hawaii first thing on Monday morning. The timing is just the worst that it could be because we will be leaving our stressed-out kids home alone for ten days after this big bombshell. We have made arrangements for both kids to attend church with family members on the Sunday we are gone though, because dropping them into a new ward and then making them attend sans parents just seems too, too hard. So Malia will be with Kate, her most favorite cousin ever, and Matthew is planning to go to church with Cory, Kevin’s brother, and his family.

Adjusting to change takes time and I know that. I’m not great at adapting to change quickly and over the past several days, I’ve talked and commiserated and cried with multiple friends. But overall, I think this will be a good change as our ward was really struggling just because we had gotten so small. I just need to be patient and over time, I’m sure I’ll find my place in this new ward. I’m sure we all will. But we can be hopeful and sad at the same time. 

It’s That Time of Year Again

Football Marching band season.

Daniel is dressed to the nines and ready to kick off another season. Today is also the first game of the season for BYU and Matthew is taking a day away from his marching band habit to enjoy some football…although he does like to arrive super early for the games so he can see the marching band portion. 😂

She’s a Big Girl Now

As of today, I officially have two teenagers living at home. Now, it’s not like Malia hasn’t been walking the walk and talking the talk of a teenager for over a year now, it’s just that she now has the appropriate number to support her behavior. Today is her thirteenth birthday and her second day of school as an 8th grader. 

Malia doesn’t like to be in the spotlight, so when she selected her birthday treat for our last extended family dinner, she didn’t even want us to sing to her. There was an impromptu chorus because that’s how my family is, but no candles or anything. So it was much to her embarrassment that the choir teacher made her wear a glittery gold birthday hat and sit in the teacher chair while the remainder of the class sang the birthday song to her today. And to her further chagrin, one of her friends told their bus driver it was her birthday, so she got serenaded again on the way home from school. I tried to convince her that it is all for the good because it means there are people in her life that care, but she would much rather have them care a bit more privately. 😂

Dinner was Malia’s favorite, spaghetti and roasted asparagus, followed by a big pan of chocolate chip cookie bars in lieu of cake. Malia did acquiesce and allowed Kevin and I to light a candle and sing to her, after which she made her cookies into a gigantic ice cream sandwich. And I do mean GIGANTIC. Biggest ice cream sandwich I’ve ever seen. She could barely fit her mouth around it. But it was tasty. 😋

Malia’s presents this year were pretty minimal as when asked, she had no idea what she wanted, and we really had no idea either. She got a brand-new copy of the first Wings of Fire book since her original one got wet and any bookworm knows that once wet, books just never recover. She also got some earrings, an assortment of Harry Potter water bottle stickers, and the promise of some new Vans, the slip-on ones she just discovered, for those times when she doesn’t want to take the time to lace up her high-top Converse. She also received several fun, thoughtful gifts from friends which made her so very happy.

Our post birthday treat activity this evening needs just a bit of an introduction. Malia just finished reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. She plowed her way through all seven of the Harry Potter books in the two weeks before school started and then dug into Twilight only because a friend of hers is reading them and wants Malia to read them with her. Probably so she has someone to talk to about said books. Now, I enjoy the Twilight books. Having said that, I have no illusions about the quality of afore mentioned books. They are somewhat lacking in literary merit, but sometimes vapid teenage chick lit is exactly what I’m in the mood for and these books definitely fit the bill. So, I warned Malia before she ever started not to have any grand expectations. Even such, there has been much groaning, rolling of eyes, and yelling at Bella for being so, so stupid. Because she really isn’t the brightest literary heroine I’ve ever encountered. As Malia has worked her way into New Moon though, it has given us a great opportunity to talk about how no teenage boy is worth basically giving up your life for. Seriously, don’t check out just because your latest heart throb doesn’t turn out to be your perfect prince charming.

Anyway, back to the whole birthday bit. After our little festivities, we celebrated our new paradigm of mother and teenage daughter by watching the Twilight movie. I warned her about that one as well. Not only is book Bella so, so stupid, but the whole movie is so, so, so stupid. Seriously. But it was far more entertaining to watch in an environment where we could make all the wise cracks we wanted without getting kicked out of the theater. We laughed. Often. And hard. Dumb movies are always more fun when watched with company. And at the end, Malia made the comment that those two hours were ones she could never get back…always the hallmark of a terrible flick. The last one I really felt that way about was the movie version of Ella Enchanted. That one was so dumb that I couldn’t even find anything to laugh about. 😜

Overall, I think Malia had a good day. If it weren’t only the second day of school and if she weren’t one of the only 8th graders in concert choir (which is predominantly 9th graders), I think that even that portion of the day would have been alright. Unfortunately for her, she is always going to be the kid whose birthday falls first in the school year. 😜 Also unfortunately for her, I’m really tempted to rent the remainder of the movies in the Twilight series, which I have never seen, and make her watch them with me. I’ve never had much of a desire to watch them, but this could be an entertaining experience if we tackle them together. 😆

Malia has grown up a lot in the past year. She has had some challenges and has learned a lot from them. She is becoming more comfortable with who she is and that has been good to see. I hope the next year will see her become a bit more confident in herself, a bit more able to adapt to different situations, a bit more willing to face hard things head on, and a bit more resilient when faced with challenges. But these are big life lessons, ones that I’m still working on. Hopefully I will be able to help her learn them as well.

And as a parting thought related to having a growing daughter, Malia is definitely taller than I am and definitely takes the opportunity to share that fact as often as possible!

A Painting Party

For the past several years, Malia has hosted a sleepover with Kate right around the time of her birthday. This year, the slumber party was scheduled a few weeks early because we discovered a neat event that Malia was super excited to attend. There is a nearby art studio that is the primary retail location for a variety of local artists, many of whom paint religious paintings. Every other month or so, the studio hosts a “paint with the artist” event where you can not only meet the artists and see them work, but you can try your hand at recreating one of their paintings. When asked if she was interested, Malia responded enthusiastically in the affirmative. These things are always more fun with a friend, so the sleepover was scheduled to coincide with the event.

The girls got to meet Dan Wilson, tried out some of his techniques, and came away with a recreation of his painting of Abraham Lincoln. Her heavy use of cool colors made Malia’s version look a bit like zombie Lincoln, but they had fun. Malia said she would definitely go again. 😃

After their artistic endeavors, the girls stayed up almost all night. Malia said it was somewhere around 4 a.m. when they finally went to sleep. They were awakened at a normal hour as they were sleeping in the family room and our household got up and moving at regular time this morning, but they were both pretty darn tired. Rachael told us that Kate had a great time and went to bed at 7 p.m. this evening. 😂

I’m so glad these cousins are such good friends. Sometimes teens get so busy with school, extracurriculars and friends that they don’t have much time for family, but I hope these get togethers continue as they get older. Because Malia has no sisters, she has to get in her girl time with cousins.