Chaos 101: My Life as a Mom: A Literal Gag Gift

Monday, January 18, 2021

A Literal Gag Gift

As you may recall, Matthew gave Daniel some strawberry flavored saxophone reeds for Christmas. Being the good brother that he is, Daniel actually gave them a try. This is how he feels about them:

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Nathan-isms

"Dinner At Julie's"-age 7 1/2 ("Breakfast At Tiffany's")
“Minutes go by like doves”-age 6 3/4 (We were completely lost with this one until we talked a bit and discovered that he meant “time flies.”)
"I know why I'm hungry all the time. I was born at lunch time."- age 6 3/4
"Moron Eel"-age 6 1/2 (moray eel)
"Daniel, the moon is fainting!"-age 6 1/2 (The moon was partically hidden by all the haze and muck in the air.)
"Oh, the air ones, not the suck ones."-age 6 1/2 (This comment was made after Daniel started a conversations about real life savers.)
"Book of Helium"-age 6 (Helaman)
"I keep making my 8's backwards!"-age 6
"Beef Turkey"-age 6 (beef jerkey)
"I wish I were a kangaroo. Kangaroos can jump two Miss Burninghams."-age 5 23/24

Matthew Moments

"When I get five I will be bigger so I can buy keys and drive the car!!" -age 3 3/4
"After I learn to go potty, then I'll learn to drive." -age 3 1/2
"Apple Jacks"-age 3 (jumping jacks)
"Harry Goblet of Fire"-age 3 (This is one of the books Kev has read to the boys recently. I'm just glad that I'm not expected to drink out of that hairy goblet.)
"I'm drinky"-age 3 (thirsty)
"Happy Depot"-age 2 3/4 (Home Depot)
“Oooh! My foot comed off!”-age 2 3/4 (after biting the leg off a gingerbread boy, he was dancing the cookie around and pretending that it was talking)
Matthew: "Mommy, they're not laughing." Shauna: "What's not laughing?" Matthew: "My hands aren't laughing. They're asleep."-age 2 3/4 (He was getting in his jammies and his hands were inside the too long sleeves)
"Tar-poo chicken"-age 2 3/4 (Barbeque chicken, which is a fine accompaniment to the "pee-pee pie" we were eating earlier this year. If you want a good tamale pie recipe, I'm happy to share.)
"Chugga Chugga Treating"-age 2 2/3 (trick or treating)
"Mama, my head is falling asleep."-age 2 2/3
"S-crispers"-age 2 2/3 (scriptures)
"Ephant-vator"-age 2 1/2 (elephant-vator meaning elevator)
"Apple Christmas"-age 2 1/2 (apple crisp)
"I had a burp in my bum!"-age 2 1/2

Self-Improving Quote of the Day

Monday, January 18, 2021

A Literal Gag Gift

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