Let's Open Up a Dialogue

Good Housekeeping Magazine has a column every month that is written by an emotional eating expert. It seems a strange career to me, but I guess that if there is a market for it, why not? Anyway, each month this column offers tips on ways to overcome emotional eating such as keeping a food diary, celebrating successes with family time rather than ice cream, etc. Some of these are actually pretty good suggestions. However, in this month's column the expert suggested having a dialogue with your fat. Excuse me? I don't know about most people, but my fat doesn't actually talk. Although, if it did the resulting dialogue might go something like this:

Me:"Hi, I'm Shauna."
Fat:"I'm Fat."
Me:"How are you today?"
Fat:"Jiggly and soft. And you?"
Me:"Likewise."
Fat:"So what are your plans for today?"
Me:"Well, I'm going to get up at 6:30, plan and prepare three healthy meals for my family, get everyone dressed and to school on time, drive my shopping cart way too fast so I can pick everyone up on time when school is over, exercise until I'm sweaty and weak, wash and fold 50,000 megatons of laundry, and maybe even sweep the floor after every meal and vacuum the cheerios off the carpet, all the while chasing my one year old who's idea of a long nap is about 30 minutes. And than at about 9:00 p.m., when the children are finally in bed and the house is at least semi-clean (Ouch. Except for that Lego I just stepped on.), I'm going to collapse in my bed for a few hours so I can do the same thing again tomorrow. What about you?"
Fat:"I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

Seriously, I have a much healthier lifestyle than I did in college. Blast my 34 year old metabolism! I think that is the only thing I would like about being 20 again. Back then I consumed by own body weight in chocolate every year and still had a better figure than I do now. So does carrying a few extra pounds while chasing three kids count as weight lifting? In the mommy athletics world, I think it should.