I’m going to take a page out of Matthew’s book and get real for a minute here. The past few weeks have been very difficult for me. In terms of serious illness or loss of loved ones, I feel like I have lived a fairly charmed life up to this point. Yes, I’ve had relatives pass away, but they have been in their twilight years with a good, long life behind them. It is a part of life, one that we all experience. But having my baby sister diagnosed with cancer was a blow. She’s young, only forty-three, and it was completely unexpected. Today, we discovered that there is cancer in her bones in multiple locations, which makes it inoperable and changes the treatment and possible prognosis. And all day, the thought that has been running through my mind is that these are the kinds of experiences that make us ask if what we believe is true.
As for me, I can answer that question with an unequivocable yes. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know all the whys, and I most certainly don’t know what is ahead, but what I do know is that the Lord has all those answers and all I need is to trust Him with all my grief and all my uncertainty and all my fear. And don’t think that is an easy task. It most certainly isn’t. But it is the only way that I am going to be able to walk this path with even a measure of peace.
There have been some hard days, and I know that there will be harder ones ahead. But in the midst of that, there have been a multitude of tender mercies as well. Everything from the checkout lady at Sprouts being super-duper nice to me all the way to a moment of complete and utter peace and calm that I know was a gift from the Lord. I have shed a bucket of tears and at the end of that, found some clarity of mind and some conviction that I know I’m going to need. I know there will be more tears ahead, but sometimes the ability to weep is a gift and I know that there are many people in my life who will weep with me. Stake conference was last Sunday, and it seems like the entire second hour was tailored specifically to my needs. We were reminded to be still, to take time for God in our lives and that by doing so, we will be better able to see his hand in our lives. We were counseled to look for the rays of light and revelation when it seems that we aren’t receiving the pillars of light we so hope and pray for, and again, to look for and recognize the Lord’s hand in our lives. And above all, we were reminded that SUNDAY ALWAYS COMES for those who follow Jesus.
And that’s the biggest blessing we all hope to find, isn’t it? That after all the pain and toil and grief and infuriating unfairness life throws at us, the most magnificent reward, one that we can only barely begin to truly understand now, is waiting for us out of the unquantifiable grace and mercy of our Savior. Not only is He waiting at the finish line for all of us, but He is also here right now offering to walk us right up to that line. All He asks is that we choose to walk with Him. And when we do, He will “also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.” (Mosiah 24:14)
Like I said before, I know there are more hard days ahead for me and my family. And I know that I’m going to have days when I don’t know how to bear the burden. But I don’t have to carry it alone. That’s the other glorious gift. Jesus Christ has already carried it for every one of us. He knows exactly what we are feeling and exactly how to help us. He will never leave us. There will likely be moments when I need someone to remind me of these truths, but yes, I really do believe everything that I’ve learned from the time I was a tiny child. I have had far too many experiences that can’t be explained in any other way. And that faith, and the love and support of all those around me, is what is going to bring light to unavoidable dark days ahead.
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